I've just been searching in my area (Midlands) for temporary Nanny jobs and stumbled across this ad on Gumtree
Hello you lucky bunch,
You are a few of the lucky few to find my plee for help.
I live alone in a huge 18 room house but I need that company that only a selected few can give me, could this be you?
I'm quite open to the type of person who comes to my rescue I only have these few requirements:
- you must be under 4 foot.
- you must have 34b cup size- ( if male man breasts are preferably)
- an NVQ level 3 in hair so you can massage my hair on a daily basis.
- a degree in aquatics
- an NVQ in cooking
The perks you get:
- sharing a bed with myself I will not ask for anything
- all you can eat super noodles
- use of my wifi for 30 minutes a week- I will charge on a minutely basis for over running on your allowance
- a great wage package
Your duties:
- daily games of cops and robbers you must let me win
- laugh at my unfunny jokes
- dress me every morning and put my night robe on for me
- Massage my head daily
- Cook my food, super noodles will be fine
- open my beer for me
- tickle my back- if you are to hard I will be charging you with assault, don't think I won't
As you can properly tell I'm a really easy going guy just looking for a companion. I look forward to your response.
Dan
AIBU to think this is dodgy as hell and be baffled as to why "Dan" seems to believe he'll attract some takers
