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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect guests to use the downstairs GUEST toilet

124 replies

bubbawubba · 19/03/2014 19:06

And not the upstairs one? It really narks me. I have a 3 yo ds and whenever we have friends over, invariably, the upstairs toilet gets used by someone when there is a perfectly functioning one downstairs. I just don't understand it. Even when I've requested that people use the downstairs one the upstairs one gets used. The upstairs bathroom is carpeted because we haven't got round to tiling it yet (lack of funds) and I'm sick of cleaning piss off the carpet when someone can't get their child to aim properly.

OP posts:

CorusKate · 19/03/2014 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pipbin · 19/03/2014 23:08

I don't know how you would have coped in my old house OP. The only toilet in the house was through my bedroom!

We now have two toilets but the downstairs in not often used as it is in the utility room off the kitchen, with a glass door!

It is true that people want to go upstairs to have a nose. To this day I'm pissed off that my godmother's house had a downstairs loo and I never got to go upstairs. She lived in a little thatched cottage and the stairs were behind a door. I so wanted to know what was up those stairs.

thegreylady · 19/03/2014 23:09

I live in a bungalow. We have a main bathroom and the biggest spare room has an en-suite loo and wash basin. I don't care who uses which though overnight guests tend to use the en-suite. Dh and I often need the loo at the same time so it is handy having two. Its like that old joke about Twoloos Lowtrek :)

missingwelliesinsd · 19/03/2014 23:41

Easiest thing in the world to prevent!
Simply put a note on your upstairs bathroom door with the message:

"Please use the downstairs bathroom, the toilet is broken and backed-up in this bathroom. We are waiting for plumbing repairs"

The only reason I'd put that level of detail in the message is to prevent the cheekiest of guests from choosing to ignore the notice.
Of course it may seem odd that your upstairs toilet is broken every time you have visitors... ;)

catkind · 19/03/2014 23:55

Oops, we always use upstairs loos because my 2 yr old doesn't believe in downstairs ones. Had no idea I might be being rude.

2rebecca · 20/03/2014 00:01

If she "doesn't believe" in downstairs loos you show them they do in fact exist by taking her to one. Problem solved. Many shops and offices only have downstairs loos so refusing to go to the toilet unless you have an exciting trip upstairs first is just silly.
We only have an upstairs loo in the bathroom and that's it. I've never considered downstairs loos as "guest" loos, but if I'm in someone's house ask where the toilet is and go to that one. As you are complaining about 3 year olds then I presume they just use the nearest one. When people arrive you could ask them to use the downstairs one if they need to go if you're fussy.

redcaryellowcar · 20/03/2014 00:08

Yanbu, similar to pp we have tricky stairgates installed and if people ask to use a toilet i say yes there is one down here, ds is only 2.8 but we don't have friends to play upstairs as no toys apart from bath toys and i worry what chaos they would find to 'play' should they be left alone upstairs!
I am amazed by how untidy some people are in the bathroom. I now pop a pedestal mat around the toilet when fil comes over....

diddl · 20/03/2014 07:30

"Oops, we always use upstairs loos because my 2 yr old doesn't believe in downstairs ones. Had no idea I might be being rude."

That might be the oddest thing I've ever read!

Nowt like letting them rule the roost at a young age!

Sparklingbrook · 20/03/2014 07:32

Father Christmas
Easter bunny
Tooth Fairy
Downstairs loos

She will need to know the truth eventually.

adsy · 20/03/2014 07:41

windymill you have 6 toilets?/!!
How many people are in your household, and do they all spend a long time on the loo?

Sparklingbrook · 20/03/2014 07:43

My DB has 5 toilets. There's just him and DSIL.

merrymouse · 20/03/2014 07:49

Windymill I am assuming you have a cleaner? If I had 6 loos I would barricade the door to at least 4 of them. (Although I suppose if some of them are the ensuites of adults or older children, they can clean them themselves).

I love the flannel idea, but do you have to tell people what the flannels are for? I would probably be worried about disrupting the lovely flannel arrangement.

merrymouse · 20/03/2014 07:53

adsy, I am assuming ground floor is kitchen/family room with floor to ceiling windows out onto garden - one loo. Up a flight of stairs is formal sitting room (large white sofa) - another loo. Next flight up main bedroom (ensuite), guest room (ensuite) another bedroom and shared bathroom. Attic where children sleep - 2 x bedrooms and shared bathroom.

merrymouse · 20/03/2014 07:54

bother - you can't bold in brackets - you get the idea though. Am imagining house is in Kew.

NearTheWindymill · 20/03/2014 08:06

Yes, it's nuts. We moved to a smaller house but it's got more bogs and bathrooms than the family house. Modern v Victorian.

catkind · 20/03/2014 09:53

Just a jokey turn of phrase I don't mean my daughter literally doesn't believe in downstairs loos, she has used them sometimes, but she asks to go upstairs and I don't see any reason not to, or I didn't till I read this thread. She's only just 2 so she needs some help, that is easier in a full sized bathroom rather than trying to squeeze both of us into an under-stairs cupboard, perhaps that's why she prefers it.

diddl · 20/03/2014 09:54

Well I can see that if the downstairs loo is small then using the bathroom with a toddler is easier.

I wouldn't be not using them on the whim of a toddler though!

catkind · 20/03/2014 09:56

Mostly I'm just pleased that she's asking to use the toilet at this age, I'm not really going to quibble about which one. Toddlers have enough of their lives dictated to them, I let them choose where there's no reason not to.

akachan · 20/03/2014 10:02

I only have a downstairs loo

diddl · 20/03/2014 10:09

"Toddlers have enough of their lives dictated to them, I let them choose where there's no reason not to."

That is hilarious!

How about getting the toddler to the loo asap rather than trailing upstairs?

Koothrapanties · 20/03/2014 10:16

I wouldn't have an issue with a visitor using the upstairs loo (if I had one) but I would find it odd.

catkind · 20/03/2014 10:42

Why is it hilarious to let a child choose? I don't care which loo she uses. No more hilarious than letting her choose if she wants an apple or a banana for her snack. ?

missinglalaland · 20/03/2014 10:56

If I were calling on someone, and needed the loo, I would ask the hostess, "may I use your loo?" Then I would use the loo I was directed to.

The upstairs space is much more private and personal. It would be presumptuous to traipse upstairs because you prefer it. It's not your house. Boundaries people!

That said, if I have a lot of people over and the downstairs loo is in use, of course I'll invite a guest to use the upstairs loo.

Fleta · 20/03/2014 10:56

I think it is unreasonable to specify which loo guests use in terms of downstairs/upstairs

However, I don't think it unreasonable to not want guests to use an en-suite loo accessed from your bedroom.

diddl · 20/03/2014 11:45

"I don't care which loo she uses."

No, but your host might if there's one across the way but you insist on going upstairs because that's what your daughter has chosen.

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