AIBU in hating...

[TiggyCBE]

...everything in the list below?

I thought I'd get everything out in one thread.

-Dresses with only one arm. You see them at award ceremonies and stuff but they look silly. I think of them as bowling dresses because the only practical point I can see to them is that it must help your bowling to have your bowling arm unencumbered by sleeve.

-People who walk too slowly. Just get out of my way! I've got stuff to do!

-People who walk to quickly. Calm down and stop jostling past me. I don't care if you've got stuff to do!

-People who start an answer to your question by sucking air through their teeth in an attempt to make it seem like their response will be truly earth shattering.

-People who think of animals as their babies. Even worse are those that dress them up in human like clothes. Get a grip women! (And I do mean women because it is only women who put bonnets on cats)

-Decorated cars. They look shit. If a VW Beetle looked so great red with black ladybird spots and eyelashes then VW would make them like that. They don't because they look shit. You're not being wacky, you're being a twerp.

-Kitchen utensil drawer. Why are they made to jam shut? Why is that thought of as a useful feature?

-Idiots that take pride in not being able to function. "I can't use a computer!" "I always avoid those self checkouts!" "It took me 5 days to put together an IKEA spoon rack!". It's a bad thing that you can't do it, not good.

-Netmums. Humourless establishment prissy doily-using maiden aunts.

-Precocious children. Yeah, but can you drive? Can you? Can you? No! because you're a child!

-Ian Hisplop/Jeremy Hardy/etc. Every silver lining has a cloud. Negative negative negative. They say everything is crap and if it's not (Olympics for example) it's quietly forgotten. If a scientist were to find a cure for cancer, they would bang on about how the scientist once got a parking ticket, "Shamed drug scientist" they would call him. And if they know everything about how to run things to make the world a better place, why don't they?

-Comedians who talk about the royal family being "German". Very lazy and xenophobic. Her family came here over 300 years ago but they're still German?

-Orange juice with "Bits". Unless they specify what the bit are I'm not drinking it. Would you eat pasta that was advertised as containing "Things"?

People who say that everything was better in the old days. Actually, I think you'll find that before the 1970s at least 50% of children were shoved up chimneys or down t'pit where they died of cholera, polio, mal-de-mare, plague, dynasty, smallpox and elfshot. Now that sort of thing doesn't happen in the South of England.

I should probably have a rest now for a bit.

-People who do deliberate misspellings of names for their DC

• Attention seeking Facebook statuses
• White middle class parents giving DC 'gangsta' names to sound hip.
• T-shirts (and office mugs) with 'fun' slogans on them. No.

(All of the above have already been discussed in great detail on MN and on this thread so no further explanation is necessary I believe)

• People who say 'I don't mean to be rude . . . BUT . . .' then go on to say something extremely rude. Yes you are being rude, and trying to justify it makes you even more of a twat. Go away.
• 'Wow, you have 3 boys ??!! wow I bet they keep you busy har har !!' Oh, har har indeed !! what a witty thing to say, 3 children under 5 never keeps anyone busy ! aren't you so funny. No you're not. Please F-off. Also it is really Not That Uncommon to have 3 children of the same sex. Please do not look at me like I'm Ocotomom. And no, I'm not 'trying for a girl?' and if I was it is none of your damn business.

There will be more . . .

People who overreact wildly to idle comments meant politely.

Jumpers with short/no sleeves. You're either cold or you're not.
Slogan t shirts. Just no.
Joggers who expect everyone to fling themselves out of their way.

YY to jumpers with no sleeves!
someone came to my house one christmas in her christmas jumper - a really thick chunky wool top from some designer shop with a snowman on the front and no sleeves - wtf - I felt cold just looking at her

Can I just add stupid, fucking bus drivers who start to pull out whilst several cars are going past them, despite the fact that this means drivers are stuck on the wrong side of the road, with cars coming towards them, meaning that I, the driver at the back of the queue, don't have time to finish passing the bus, so have to slam my brakes on and hope that the cars behind me have seen what is going on, and will let me back in, so I don't have a head-on collision with another car.

This happened while I was driving ds3 to school this morning. I was overtaking a bus that was at a bus stop. I was part way past him when he pulled out, leaving me driving towards another car, head on! Luckily I did manage to brake and pull back in - but I may have used a few swear words to describe his parentage and his driving abilities or lack thereof. Ds3 is nearly 17, and knows more swear words than I do, so I am not feeling too guilty about that.

Isn't that a tank-top? I thought their main point was sex appeal? They help you to look like a young Bill Gates.

Jumpers with no sleeves, I can accept - the good old British tank top. But jumpers with short sleeves? No - just - no.

Paracetamols are parrots?! Ye gods.....

So, Tiggy have you officially become a Grumpy Ole Git now? Agree about orange juice bits, though...bits sounds sickeningly cute.

And on that note, I absolutely loathe food manufacturers trying too hard to be cutesy, matey and/or chatty. I am hungry and I just want to eat something hot and edible. I really don't want to sculpt limp vegetables into the Statue of Liberty. [glares at Innocent]

Corus your Olympic comment passed the exception comment with flying colours. It was factually incorrect but grammatically fine.

Aargh passed the exception rule.

short sleeved shirts for men - you look like you're in school uniform

my mum eating cereal and reading the newspaper over my shoulder. Anyone reading over your shoulder is annoying but my mum crunches cereal like a horse

Jumpers with short sleeves are hateful. I hate them.

Leggings that in no way cover the wearer's pants. If I can actually see the pattern on your pants, you are not dressed and must add more fabric to your outfit.

All the annoyances over pastries and so on - yes. When I was a barrista, this was so annoying to put up with from about 70% of customers. Just say no thank you!

That reminds me - people who talk continuously on their phone while being served in some form - in a shop, at a bar etc. It's very rude to the person who is serving you and holds up the rest of the queue. Just ask the person you're on the phone to hold on for two seconds.

Surprise that I, a petite young woman, drink pints of real ale.

People who highlight or mark library books.

Salad cream (that's probably just me though).

Crop tops, especially with leggings, especially if I can see underwear.

People who highlight or mark library books

Someone in our local library reads the same books as me , I keep finding a little heart in pencil on page 13.

If you're reading this - yes, I've been rubbing them out!

People who spell their names incorrectly on purpose (i.e. Nicola on birth certificate, Nikkee or somesuch nonsense informally). It would be Nicky at an absolute push - there's no K in the original anyway. Just stop it, you try hard idiots.

Bar staff who ask "who's next?" It's your fucking JOB to KNOW who's next you bellend.

,Curlee what about ",Niikkeee" if you want to REALLY piss someone off...with little hearts where the "i" dots should be?

I have more. T&C's (another errant apostrophe rant), people who think they're entitled to touch me/pick me up because I'm small and/or pregnant, that entitled library woman, eyelashes on cars/powered by fairy dust blah blah blah (you just make women look stupid when you do that, not cute), blokes who wear low cut tee-shirts/tight jeans/kungfu slippers - boak!), snoring, breathing heavily when I'M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP AND THE UNBORN IS KEEPING ME AWAKE YOU SELFISH BASTARD I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU JUST CAN'T SLEEP DOWNSTAIRS YOU'RE GETTING UP AT 4.30AM TO GO TO WORK ANYWAY, inefficiency of ANY type but especially within hospitals (yes, why don't you walk around with that file/bit of paper FOR HOURS and then pass it on to a colleague who will do the same), child whore clothes, trendy euro fashion, dogs with watery eyes.

PANDAS

Middle lane hoggers on the motorway.

People who kiss their dogs and you can see the dogs tongue almost in their mouth. Boak . Just lick its arse and cut out the middle man.

Selfies were the owner makes comments about how rough they look. When its including duck lips and taken from above right for the most flattering angle. Followed by aww u luk gawjus hun xxx. Fuck off. Stop fishing for compliments you insecure twat.

Unique spellings of common names. You have just lumbered your child with a lifetime of correcting it.

Facebook games that spam my newsfeed with betty has scored twelfty million updates.

Tomatoes that look perfect in my fridge until I pick them up and put my fingers in the squidy mouldy bit that has been hiding at the back.

Facebook again

Work colleagues who have been on diets for years, sit there nibbling one rice cake with cottage cheese on for lunch, yet never get any smaller. Just stop passing sanctimonious comments about others large lunches. We know you're shoving double deckers in your face in the toilets. You are fooling no one.

Facebook.

Drivers who don't indicate - oh you're going LEFT are you? School/doctor's/dentist's receptionists - not all, but the majority of you are extremely self-important and unhelpful and should know your place (which is basically there to HELP me with something), people who adopt accents after visiting somewhere for an hour/day/week, content of foodbank parcels (because people in need should only be given dried/packet/shit food right?), wasps - absolutely no reason for them as far as I can tell.

I second people thinking it's fine to just pick me up! or leaning on the top of my head. Or making comment on the fact I often choose to wear flats in situations where the other women I'm with wear heels. I know full well it makes me look even shorter. I give not one shiny fuck.

Laughing at me for being unable to reach things. Don't put everything so fucking high up, or provide helpful stools.

Yes, my name is in a few songs of a famous musical. It's also a good pun in many ways given that it's also a name. Yes, I have heard that joke at least 10000000 times.

People who don't keep pen lids.

Celebrating your cat's birthday on facebook. It isn't able to read. It can't tell.

dark highlighters. What is the point?

Being unable to buy normal yoghurt, that isn't low fat.

the fact that I once found a low fat yoghurt I liked that turned out to contain 24% of my rda of sugar.

Low fat cheese. Low fat anything that requires it to be tampered with.

Themed fancy dress parties that are always at least an hour by public transport away. You either look like a weirdo alone on the train, or you're a killjoy.

"People who kiss their dogs and you can see the dogs tongue almost in their mouth. Boak . Just lick its arse and cut out the middle man."

Meddie - HoneyDragon is waayyyy ahead of you - here!!

Haha how did I miss that thread. Thank you for that

You're welcome!

boy I really want to know what your name is now.

Joseph? Oliver? Phantom?

Ooh just thought of another one.

Rude guests. I would normally anticipate a dinner guest might bring a little something for their hosts. Not a huge issue if they don't, it's something I always do though. However when said guests bring something (beer, wine, whatever) and then proceed to sit and drink it, or even better, don't produce it, drink all our booze, and then announce "oh we didn't drink this so I'll take it home", it really fucks me off.

I had a BBQ party once and provided shit loads of booze. Pimms, beer, assorted spirits and soft drinks. Most people brought something and just chucked it in the cooler.

One girl from work came and drank certainly her fair share of the booze, not a problem as it was a party. However I found out a few days later she had brought a bottle of wine and forgotten to take it home, and was going around work panicking about how to ask for it back and how rude I was for keeping it.

I brought it in the next day and gave it back to her, saying "I hope you enjoyed our party".

Cheeky bitch.