To think that it might just be time for DP to give up playing rugby.

[MammaTJ]

He has played ever since we met. He started playing as a way to meet people and make his own friends in the town he moved to to be with me. We do have a good social life involved in the rugby club, but that could still continue.

He is very nearly 50.

Last year he broke his hand playing rugby and that impacted on the family quite a lot. He is the only driver (an issue I plan to address really soon), so I had to drive with him beside me to do the shopping, take the DC to cubs etc. I hated that. It still meant he couldn't drive me to work or pick me up as he had previously. I had to get lifts, the DC had to walk to school and we had to meet there (after my night shifts).

After that he said he would give up. I am now a student nurse and he is now the DCs main carer, alongside working full time.

He said himself he could not afford an injury again in that position. He has started playing again recently and got bady hurt on Saturday.

He has badly bruised ribs and is in a lot of pain. He can barely move and has been signed off work for a week (something we can ill afford).

Luckily the timing is good as far as looking after the DC is concerned, because I am on home study this week.

AIBU to think he really should give up now?

I don't know much about it but could he move to being a coach or ref so that he's still active on the pitch whilst not actually playing, to save being relegated to purely the social club side?

He did try that for a while. He 'ran the line' and had the water bottles and also helped with the management side of it, but when they were short, he got sucked back in.

I don't think you can make someone give up something they love even if logically it would be the sensible thing to do. My DH lives for rugby, he doesn't actually play anymore (mid 50s ) but I know he would like to. Coaching and being a ref or some other way of supporting the rugby club would be a good idea.

No suggestions but try and be grateful your DH has a passion he adores rather than sitting around on the sofa playing computer games like lots of middle aged men .

He does a bit of that too, but generally when I am not here to witness it.

I have not intention, or indeed the ablility to make him give up.

I would just like him to, and think it makes sense for him to.

Does he play with the younger players or in a vets team ? The latter can be less injurisome I think. My DH gave up after a match against a navy team where he got badly hurt = decided it was a younger man's game and switched to golf instead.

He plays with the 3rd team, so a mix sometimes. A few of them are older but some are younger too.

I don't think the driving thing should be involved here because really you should be driving too. When do you plan to start learning?

The getting injured thing apart from that IS an issue though. He kind of owes it to his family to be around in a healthy state if he can be and playing Rugby is a choice. I don't know though because I would hate not to he able to pursue the exercise I enjoy.

When I have the money! Anyone care to donate a spare £500, then I can do an intensive course. I can drive, I just need to brush up on my reversing and then prove it.