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AIBU?

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Original poster

...to think this is a bit cheeky or do I need to relax a bit?

251 replies

NotActuallyAMum · 17/03/2014 12:36

A work colleague of mine did me a favour recently – saved us about £50 – so as a thank you I offered him a couple of nights in our static caravan. I said that if he goes straight there after work on a Friday he’ll be there by about half 6 then if he leaves around the same time on Sunday he’ll have 2 full days there. I warned him that we wouldn’t be moving our belongings out of the way because there’ll still be plenty of room for the two of them. He took me up on the offer, which I was pleased about – I wanted to return the favour

I’ve just seen that he’s booked the Friday and Monday of that weekend off work, presumably to spend 4 nights at our caravan instead of the 2 that I offered. Additionally, someone else who works here sees a lot of this person out of work – the two of them and their wives spend a lot of time together and I’ve noticed that he has also booked the Friday and Monday off work, making me think that they are planning on going too

I could be wrong of course but it seems too much of a coincidence for there to be any other explanation. Isn’t this a bit cheeky?

OP posts:
phantomnamechanger · 15/05/2014 21:09

blimey, it gets worse! you paid him for the work on the car, the free holiday was an extra thank you and he's still being a grabby cheeky so-and-so about it by thinking its OK to try to take more than was offered on the sly!

Original poster
NotActuallyAMum · 16/05/2014 08:38

Yes phantomnamechanger this was in addition to us paying him for doing the job, albeit at a lower rate than we would otherwise have paid

He's been for the key...and asked if he could bring it back to me next week. I said no, as I said yesterday he must give it to in caravan on Sunday when he leaves as they need it for Monday

I'll be very interested to see if they both cancel their day off on Monday

OP posts:
TheSkiingGardener · 16/05/2014 09:29

Can't believe he's still trying to wangle more than he was offered! That is beyond cheeky.

For those that don't get it, would you walk in to a shop, buy one pack of crisps, but take four? Same principle!

Pastperfect · 16/05/2014 09:37

Of course it's not the same as taking extra crisps from the shop Confused

OP offered him a "weekend" I really don't think it is entitled to say "that's so kind would you mind if we made the most of it and went down Thursday night" or whatever. I get that he didn't and the "dishonesty" is unreasonable so just call him on it. The passive aggressive bullshit is wearing.

FWIW I wouldn't behave like the colleague but equally I wouldn't behave like the OP either.

MrsJK · 16/05/2014 09:42

Shamelessly making my place for the update Grin

Original poster
NotActuallyAMum · 16/05/2014 09:45

Pastperfect it's not true that I offered him a "weekend". I offered him 2 nights, and 2 nights is 2 nights and not 4

I do get that I probably should have said something though but I'm a wimp Blush

OP posts:
nauticant · 16/05/2014 09:48

If you'd said something we wouldn't be having this developing story with, potentially, a big pay-off next week. For that reason alone YANBU OP.

msmoss · 16/05/2014 09:52

Well the moral of the story is next time you need a favour that will save you £50 don't take the favour and just pay the £50.

MostlyCake · 16/05/2014 09:56

Me too MrsJK!

PlumpPartridge · 16/05/2014 10:00
RockinHippy · 16/05/2014 10:11

You have way more patience than me

He's an out & cheeky fecker & the passive aggressively telling you he had invited the other couple & was it okay, would have got a very firm, NO, it's definitely not okay, this is our second home, I am doing you a favour by loaning you our spare room in that second home & did not offer the use of our own bedroom to you or anyone else - so no, it's not okay, you can put them off as you offer

The setting off early on Friday wouldn't bother me so much, the staying an extra night without asking would & no way would I accept the extra couple that I neither know, nor had invited

Can't stand entitled pee takers like this man

YADNBU!!

Original poster
NotActuallyAMum · 16/05/2014 10:16

RockinHippy the setting off early today hasn't bothered us at all, but we still think he was planning on going yesterday and also staying Sunday night which we would have been bothered about

msmoss don't worry, fortunately this was a one-off. Our 'usual' mechanic (also works here) was on holiday at the time and someone else suggested we ask this man as he also does work on cars in the evenings and at weekends to supplement his income. We will absolutely not ask him again

I so wish I'd just paid him for the job and left it at that

OP posts:
HazleNutt · 16/05/2014 10:20

Reminds me of the Mexican house thief. You should probably also specify that by 2 nights, you only meant this weekend and it's not an open invitation to use the caravan whenever he wants. No really, some people need to be told this. See here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/a1735637-Have-you-ever-encountered-anyone-this-cheeky
Post from WeAreEternal Sat 20-Apr-13 14:52:07

StealthPolarBear · 16/05/2014 10:25

I agree hes being very cheeky however something is bugging me. Surely hes going for 3 nights? Where does 4 nights come from?

Original poster
NotActuallyAMum · 16/05/2014 10:26

OMG HazleNutt I remember that! Thankfully our neighbours over there do genuinely keep an eye out, we all do it for each other and always tell each other if anyone else is going

OP posts:
hoppingmad · 16/05/2014 10:27

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday? I think that was his original intention.
Op I think you've played this very well actually - he knows he's been a cheeky git without you coming across as confrontational

StealthPolarBear · 16/05/2014 10:28

Ah sorry. I thought he intended friday morning to monday evening

CloverHeart · 16/05/2014 10:36

Well I'm glad you set him straight OP, but I wouldn't let him stay again! Why is it when it comes to holiday homes people feel so bloody entitled Angry

nauticant · 16/05/2014 10:46

Op I think you've played this very well actually - he knows he's been a cheeky git without you coming across as confrontational

Yes, I definitely agree with this.

OnlyLovers · 16/05/2014 10:51

He's been for the key...and asked if he could bring it back to me next week.

Christ, he's STILL trying it on? Seriously, OP, this would be the last straw for me. I'd have withdrawn the offer if he'd said that to me.

This, on top of asking along another couple, trying to wangle four nights when you said two, bare-facedly asking you to go home for the key at lunchtime, evading the issue when you gave him a chance in face-to-face conversation, sending a passive-aggressive email about how 'x and y were coming' as well and he thought he'd 'told' you, and 'putting them off' ... He's a fucking chancer.

Those saying it's not a big deal are chancers equally. Even if the extra two nights didn't matter in a material way (and they do – power costs, wear and tear, inconvenience if the OP or someone else was booked to use the caravan), they matter morally very much.

frankie001 · 16/05/2014 10:52

He is being cheeky and rude. I'd be annoyed too.

Original poster
NotActuallyAMum · 16/05/2014 10:52

Thank you everyone, good to know most of you agree with me Smile

CloverHeart that's a very good question! I don't have the answer but we have had so many people assuming that because we have a caravan they can use it without paying

And no, this particular person definitely won't go again!

OP posts:
Pastperfect · 16/05/2014 10:54

Ok sorry OP - someone else mentioned you offering a weekend and I got confused.

I do sympathise - I have a holiday home and I find you have to be all or nothing - so I either let people stay and get on with it or I don't let them stay at all - I find the half hearted approach of extending invites but then imposing lots of rules just frustrates everyone.

Original poster
NotActuallyAMum · 16/05/2014 10:55

OnlyLovers that's just it - morally it certainly does matter to us. I said this earlier in the thread - we very much feel that we've given him an inch and he's stolen a mile

OP posts:
nauticant · 16/05/2014 10:56

Inviting a couple of people for a specified period is imposing lots of rules?

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