Have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky?

(594 Posts)

Inspired roughly by a couple of threads recently...
I used to have a friend (used to being the operative) who would come round to my house to smoke. Her reason being that she didn't want her house to smell like smoke and she didn't like smoking in the street as she thought it looked 'common' (her words)

The punchline being that I didn't smoke
That friendship ended when I saw the light and realised that she was using me! She was happy enough to make my house stink and I was too polite (at the time) to ask her not to as I thought I was being a welcoming host.

Has anyone encountered anyone with more brass neck than that?

hurricanewyn Thu 18-Apr-13 17:32:30

Can't say I have - that's so cheeky, it's almost comical.

scarredpierced Thu 18-Apr-13 17:33:04

WTAF!! That'll take some beating!

Only cheekiness I have experienced is "I'm coming over on Tuesday" by a very annoying relative and then her letting off a long and exaggerated sigh when I told her I was out that day.

hurricanewyn Thu 18-Apr-13 17:34:42

I was given a birthday present once that consisted of four uninvited guests coming to my house for a weekend my own fault for living in a different country to my family

EarlyInTheMorning Thu 18-Apr-13 17:35:26

TastesLikePanda I don't think anybody will be able to beat that!shock And you put up with it for how long??

Shamefully, I put up with it for the best part of a year. In my tiny defence, I was a lot shyer and more eager to please a few years ago, and when I made a new friend, I would go out of my way to be accomodating.

I am not like that anymore, and it is largely down to this woman!
The penny dropped when she woke me up early on a sunday morning after a night out, because 'smoking would help her hangover'... yeah, well, sleep helps mine and you wouldn't let me have it...!

tigerlilygrr Thu 18-Apr-13 18:27:37

Not half as bad but I was amused to watch a woman take back a dress in a shop the other day, and then ask the assistant to pass her the exact same dress so that she could buy it at the sale price.

I mean, surely the done thing is to at least walk round the block a few times or go in another branch?

ClaraOswald Thu 18-Apr-13 18:31:17

I work with someone who admitted that she would buy a book, read it and check to see if she had made any marks on the spine. If she hadn't she would return it within three days.

She is also quite open about buying something, wearing it and returning it. She boasts about having pulled a button off on purpose once because there was a slight stain and it would have been refused for the stain. If it's faulty the refund has to be given.

We work in retail. A couple of us walked away in disgust when she bragged about that.

gallifrey Thu 18-Apr-13 18:33:46

my mum had a friend that was downright rude. She once opened up our freezer and helped herself to a chicken because we had 2! And she used to take my mum's car because it had more petrol in it than hers!

SofaKing Thu 18-Apr-13 18:35:03

Panda that sounds like my in laws.

They lit up in my tenth floor non smoking flat, and as I stared in horror enquired if I had an ash tray. When I stammered 'No', they looked horrified and offered to buy me one.

LilRedWG Thu 18-Apr-13 18:40:48

MIL found her MIL going through her wardrobe, "just to see if there's anything that would fit 'our Freida'." MIL was too gobsmacked to say anything!

carabos Thu 18-Apr-13 18:43:59

Being handed a bowl of blackberries by a relative and told "just pop those into a pie with a bit of apple".

Tryharder Thu 18-Apr-13 18:48:13

When DD was about a year old and in a pushchair in a local park/scenic area eating lunch. A dog who was not on a lead came upto the pushchair and took the sandwich out of her hand with its mouth. The owner of the dog who was standing about 2 metres away snapped "come on <name on dog>" and walked off with her dog still eating the sandwich without looking at me or apologising. You could have picked my jaw up off the floor with the brass neck of it all.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Thu 18-Apr-13 18:48:59

I had a friend (mentioned her on another thread and have a horrid feeling she's read it - might be back for some support later) who would come round for tea and spend the entire time on my laptop messagiong people and ignoring me.

Then her DP would ring and she 'had' to talk to him so would go upstairs in my fecking house and walk in and out of all of our bedrooms for 30 mins while they chatted.

I put up with this for months.#

What the fuck is wrong with me (besides the issues I've previously mentioned) I'll never know.


headinhands Thu 18-Apr-13 18:50:41

A friend once dropped her dd off as she was passing my house on her way into town because she was 'playing up' and she didnt want to drag her round town. There was no 'can you' 'would you mind' etc.

HeadFairy Thu 18-Apr-13 18:53:10

tryharder I had a similar experience when a dog walker told me off for having a picnic with my children on a common because her dog ate my children's sandwiches out of their hands. They were 4 and 2 at the time and the dog was a large lab. Friendly enough but when they've got a sniff of food Labs are unstoppable IME. She couldn't control him at all, but I got the ear bashing for having open food on the common.

headinhands Thu 18-Apr-13 18:53:12

Just adding that she's since moved away so it wasn't you if you're one of my RL/MN friends. grin

eosmum Thu 18-Apr-13 18:54:55

BIL took DD out of her car seat and put her on the floor, to take said car seat to the hospital to collect his newborn DD. He'd decided that our DD was too big for the seat and we could get a new one, she was 4weeks old. Still not as cheeky as pandas mate.

fuzzpig Thu 18-Apr-13 18:56:06

<jaw drops> at OP's ex friend!

littlebitofthislittlebitofthat Thu 18-Apr-13 18:59:20

I had a neighbour that used to bring her two (hyperactive) kids to my house, when she had finished tidying up, because she wanted her house to stay tidy for when her husband got home.

Roseformeplease Thu 18-Apr-13 18:59:32

People we hardly know, friends of friends visiting the remote spot where we live, so made welcome.

1. Came for a cup of tea
2. Stayed for supper when they smelled chicken, expressed hunger and checked first it was organic (was it fuck)
3. Started to drink, only then confessing that she didn't drive (she was breast feeding so assumed she was not drinking while he was) so had to stay the night, requiring travel cot etc.
4. Managed to get lots and lots of baby kit from us by stealth
5. Ate a huge breakfast the next day.
6. When we said we were going bramble picking with the children decided to come along.
7. When then finally left at 2pm, asked for their share of the brambles and tried to sell me something.

siiiiiiiiigh Thu 18-Apr-13 19:00:10

"Can I come and play?" asked tedious-kid-over-the-fence

"Not just now, come after lunch" says me, loud enough for Daddy to hear.

2 mins later - ding-dong.

"Does your daddy know you are here? I said to come after lunch"

"Oh, he said it was ok"

Eh? <Oh, ok, five mins won't hurt>

I finish washing up, happily looking out of kitchen window to see Tedious Child's Dad's New Girlfriend's arse banging against their kitchen window.

He'd sent his kid round so he could have a cheeky wee mid-morning shag on his kitchen bunker!

Turned up to collect Tedious half an hour later with his flies still down. "Can you get some blinds for your kitchen, please?" with my Best Paddington Bear Extra Hard Stare Face.

He had the good grace to blush.

Cheeky bugger.

Do I win?

lunar1 Thu 18-Apr-13 19:00:33

shock at some of these stories!

crypes Thu 18-Apr-13 19:00:48

Ooh my DD had a friend round the other day who constantly used out family laptop for messaging other friends on FB, when I then took her and DD to macdonalds the 'friend' went and sat with another family! Praps we stink.

HeadFairy Thu 18-Apr-13 19:02:06

siiiiiiiiiigh, that's hilarious!!!

DontmindifIdo Thu 18-Apr-13 19:04:33

eosmum - you didn't let him take it did you? Please tell me you at least got it back once he'd got his new baby home!

HandMini Thu 18-Apr-13 19:06:51

These are hilarious. I don't think I have anything to compete, except that a friend asked me to mind her pretty spirited annoying toddler DS one afternoon while she went for a haircut. At the time, I was looking after a 2 week old DD, two year old DD and eight mo DNephew. "Well, I thought since you'd be stuck in with your three anyway, you could do it" she said. I said "No".

Euphemia Thu 18-Apr-13 19:07:27

Can you get some blinds for your kitchen, please?


cocolepew Thu 18-Apr-13 19:09:48

These are shock

Euphemia Thu 18-Apr-13 19:10:29

I was covering P1 for a colleague the other day. A wee boy I had never spoken to before ran up to me and said "I know how old you are!" "I don't think you do," I replied. "You're 50!" says he. shock

I'm 46! sad

ladythatlunches Thu 18-Apr-13 19:10:51

You have to check my thread out!!! Shocking.

I've never come across anyone this bad. I'd be gobsmacked if I did.

Well done siiiiiiiigh.

Weegiemum Thu 18-Apr-13 19:12:49

My sister did this. Even after dd1 was born and I asked her to go outside if smoking, she'd open a window and smoke. You can still smell it (I was on a different floor of the house bf ing dd1).

After a lot of this stuff she doesn't visi any more. Good!

tigerlilygrr Thu 18-Apr-13 19:39:09

Oh thought of another one. Invited an old Uni friend to my wedding out of politeness as she had recently invited me to a party. She replied to say she would love to come and then said "I hear you haven't invited friend a, b, c or d so thought perhaps you might want to. Here are their email addresses. I haven't mentioned it to them so don't feel you have to." I hadn't even seen friends a, b,c and d in over ten years!

Pandemoniaa Thu 18-Apr-13 19:53:00

We've got a gooseberry bush in our garden. Because I live out in the wilds, we don't tend to have fences but it's bleedin' obvious that the bush is in a garden and that the garden it is in is ours.

One summer afternoon I came home to find an elderly lady, armed with a carrier bag, rootling discontentedly in said bush. Before I had the chance to ask what she was doing in there she said "This is really not good enough! Last year your gooseberry bush was full of fruit but it's all gone!" When I politely pointed out that this was because we'd eaten our own gooseberries she replied with "Well that's the giddy limit! I've got friends coming to dinner tonight and I'd promised them a gooseberry tart for pudding. I've driven all the way out here from Lewes especially to pick these gooseberries and now what am I supposed to do?"

I still don't know how I managed not to tell her exactly what I thought she ought to do....

fackinell Thu 18-Apr-13 19:58:28

I had a friend who asked to stay on my sofa bed for a wk between flats. She announced on the Friday night that she was knackered and was going to bed at 8pm. I pointed out that the lounge was the only tv with Sky and we wanted to watch a movie. To loud dramatic sighs, we buggered off to bed.

I woke at midnight to find her watching the music channel having 'got her second wind' after we went to bed.

We suddenly had "unexpected guests coming" 2 days later and punted her off to a B&B!!

Wishfulmakeupping Thu 18-Apr-13 19:59:07

My oh is an electrician a friend needed some work desperately doing so as it wasn't a big job he said he wouldn't charge her he did it and told her it was 15 quid for the bits she needed as he got it cheaper for her from the merchants she said to me when he left the room 'I thought he wasn't charging me?!' I said 'he isn't thats how much the part was'. Her:'oh is he not sorting that then?!'
Me:' erm no he isn't going to pay for a part to And do the job for free!'
She still was peeved wtf?!

SilverBirdie Thu 18-Apr-13 20:20:07

I've got two:
Our neighbour asked to store two boxes in our garage for two days then the next day had managed to get his own key cut and added about twenty more boxes. Dh put a stop to that immediately.

Other was my neighbour in halls of residence.... She was always borrowing my clothes then one day popped her head around the door to say bye for the Christmas hols. When I asked for my pink jumper back she bent down, unzipped her suitcase and gave it to me along with three pairs of my shoes and my bras! shock

She later went on to take her housemate's knickers off radiators to wear.

blueemerald Thu 18-Apr-13 20:23:37

I have a friend (L) who is a music journalist and she goes to music festivals for work and usually gets a free plus one. She invited another friend (A, someone I know, and don't like). L couldn't get A on the journalist coach to the festival, obviously. A text L telling L how much L's half of A's train fare was.
I couldn't believe my ears when I heard that.

McKayz Thu 18-Apr-13 20:25:14

Bloody hell Siiiigh shock

ChasedByBees Thu 18-Apr-13 20:36:27

I'm feeling all tense just reading these. I want to slap all of them, the cheeky feckers.

BreasticlesNTesticles Thu 18-Apr-13 20:38:06

I was going on hols with dp and we split up. Invited friend instead, ex dp had already paid and would have lost money so she got a free trip to the US with 4* accomodation. She also got the benefit of all the trips we had paid for, excursions etc.

I asked her for £50 for cabs to and from airport at home, she queried the amount, said it was too much and she would have to think about it shock shock and then complained about how shit the hotel was to other friends angry

She eventually gave me the £50. Strangely I am no longer friends with her and neither is anyne else

Oh and this was after she shagged another of my ex dp's 6 weeks after we split up, when we had been together 5 years.

Actually it was my own fault for inviting such a knob in the first place wasn't it grin

CrapBag Thu 18-Apr-13 20:45:33

grin at 'Tedious Child'

These are beyond belief!!! Luckily I don't have anything to add. I think I would come under the 'too dumbfounded to say anything at the time then rant on here about it later' group anyway.

ladythatlunches I have read your thread and yes, you could probably outdo the OP, unfortunately!

I love the one with the shagging against the kitchen window grin

My DF lent my mum's car to a friend for what was supposed to be a week or two and the cheeky bugger kept it for three years!!!! My poor mum had to get the bus to work, 90 mins each way, the entire time. DF the kindest, most generous, most spineless man in the world couldn't bring himself to insist on getting it back for her. I'm surprised they're still together... grin

DeafLeopard Thu 18-Apr-13 20:54:48

shock what cheeky bastards you all know

Crikeyblimey Thu 18-Apr-13 21:05:30

I once went to see a work colleague for coffee and a chat a her house one evening. She needed to "nip to a neighbour's to pick something up" at about 7pm. Leaving me with her 7 and 3 year old. When she wasn't back at 8pm, I suggested to 7 year old that he help me put 3 year old to bed. At 9 pm I suggested 7 year old went to bed (which to his credit he did dutifully). At 9.30 her husband rang as he was working away so I told him she'd gone to neighbours'. I didn't know which neighbour so I sat and waited.

Looking back I should have been worried she'd been kidnapped but I just got angrier and angrier.

She rolled in drunk at 1am! I just left and have t spoken since.

cocolepew Thu 18-Apr-13 21:12:41

3 years!?! 3 bloody years!?! shock

Wow... I shouldn't be - but i'm strangely relieved that I'm not the only one who has suffered 'friends' like this! I think my favourite so far is taking the chicken out of the freezer smile

Ladythatlunches... give us a clue to your thread then? <bambi eyes>

thatsnotmypineapple Thu 18-Apr-13 22:53:01

I haven't encountered anything as cheeky as some of the things on here, but my colleague is always telling us about her cheeky neighbour.

When she bought her house it included a shed in the garden. She can home one day to find the shed in the neighbour's garden. When she asked about it, he told her the previous owner had said he could have it. For the sake of neighbourly relations she let it go, and her dad put up another shed for her. The neighbour then came round to insist that they should swap sheds, as hers was better his. Funnily enough she was not inclined to agree to his request grin

He then put on a sad face when a few weeks later she told him she was going to plant some of the tubs in her garden, and told her that he was hoping he could have them.

The final straw came a few weeks ago when she arrived home to find some random bloke getting water from her outside tap (she is metered). The bloke said that her neighbour had said it was ok.

not as cheeky as some mentioned, but when I was just home from hospital after having DC1, DH was at work, a friend popped in with her 2 DCs because she was passing and couldn't face going home as they were playing her up. She had bought them sausage rolls en route dropping pastry e they wandered from room to room dropping pstry everywhee and creating havoc, screaming, shouting and crying the whole time and . She'd had no lunch so asked if she could have a sandwich. Then left without offering to clear up any mess her DCs had left behind.

Obviously she was having a bad day... but a brand new Mum could do without that as SHE should have known.

I'm almost crying at the neighbour insisting on swapping sheds because the new one is better! That does knock smoking friend out of the water!

MsNobodyAgain Thu 18-Apr-13 23:34:19

I finally cleared out my integral garage after the hoarding ex left. BIL said "great, I can store some of my work gear in here now as I am getting a smaller van".

He then went on to place his racing bike in there as well and I used to be woken at daft o'Clock when he collected it.

On returning from the bike ride in his sweaty lycras, he used to take a shower without asking shock

And then settle down in my armchair for a cup of coffee and bore me with his trial times.

Just awful, and cheeky.

YouMakeMeWannaLaLa Fri 19-Apr-13 00:02:51

At my old place I had a paddock. When my horses died I was sad at it being empty and a friend said her friend needed a field for her 2 ponies so I rented it to her very cheaply, glad to have it in use.

The friend of a friend was very nice but her boyfriend was not!

They helped themselves to everything; fork, shovel, flamethrower shock , food, beer etc. in my sheds (that I hadn't said they could use) but I (being a shy people pleaser) was too cowardly to say anything.

They invited around 10 of their mates around to the field to have a bbq one sat aft and left all their cans and rubbish on the lawn.

The final straw was the boyfriend accidentally leaving the hose on all night (I was metered). When I asked for a contribution I was informed that 'we don't fuckin' pay for water...that's free!'.

In my defence I was going through a break up, was on my own and was missing my own horses so loved theirs a lot.

I text them chucking them out, then had to keep the curtains shut for a month before they left.

DearJohnLoveSavannah Fri 19-Apr-13 00:29:39

My uncle.

My mum is the loveliest person ever and won't ever say no to anything. My uncle takes great advantage of this. Will give her all his old junk, books, his childrens toys that are broken - because he cannot be bothered to get rid of it. Serious boxes of stuff.

And even jokes about it. Last time he tried to do it I stepped in and told him she had enough crap in her house and didn't need his either.

He once gave joke presents to all of us - think broken tools. Because it would be hilarious .... when basically he was too lazy to throw them out.

My DC used to have a friend round (most weeks). I often used to pick up/drop off friend.

I bought specific food/drink for friend.

My DC went to the friends birthday party and came home after 90 minutes (I've never known a party last only 90 minutes) starving because the only food he was given was a "tiny slice of cake".

That was The Beginning of The End for me. I thought Fuck It. I'm not the childcare. I'm not the chauffeur.

My DC went to friends house maybe twice whereas they were at my house dozens of times including parties, birthday, cinema visits.


DeskPlanner Fri 19-Apr-13 06:24:51

This thread is brilliant. shock grin

TobyLerone Fri 19-Apr-13 06:43:24

Wow, some of you are right pushovers!

This is why I don't really have 'friends'. People take the piss.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Fri 19-Apr-13 06:52:44

just getting on this thread to read later, looks like a good one smile

picnicbasketcase Fri 19-Apr-13 07:10:47

Wow, the audacity of some people out there is fucking incredible! Who goes to someone's house and even looks in the freezer, never mind helping themselves to the contents! And the old woman rummaging around the gooseberry bush shock

My in laws do that thing where they bring a load of crap to my house to clear space in their own. Boxes full of stuff that they don't want and then say 'If you don't want it, just throw it out, we won't mind', yes of course you won't, because then it's not taking up space in YOUR bloody bin!

javotte Fri 19-Apr-13 07:23:33

One of my mother's friends used to come to our house to pee in order to save money.
At their house, she made her three (teenage) daughters go to the bathroom at the same time so they only had to flush once.

OkayHazel Fri 19-Apr-13 07:32:06

I think killing these people is the only option.

Fakebook Fri 19-Apr-13 07:50:36

When I was at university a "friend" asked to borrow £5 for lunch one day, so I gave it to her. I waited a few weeks for its return and then forgot about it. Towards the end of the year she came into the food hall and gave me back my £5 for which I was very grateful. Then she took it back off me to buy some lunch hmm. I never got that £5 back.

My SIL is like many of these people. I don't put up with her shit anymore.

GizzaCwtch Fri 19-Apr-13 07:56:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bootsycollins Fri 19-Apr-13 08:13:47

Cheeky bastards the lot of 'em! I'm desperately trying to think of a cheeky fucker story but I just can't compete with the absolute comedy gold on here grin

lolaflores Fri 19-Apr-13 08:33:46

Txt from friend who's eldest DS is "feisty" and wears her down, "can we come round to yours, DS doesn't fancy going home yet"! They live in the next street.
Couldln't face it, told her "not today dear"
She has before brought him round, just so he can let some steam off. Nipped that in the bud when he kicked me and tried to stick his foot in my daughters mouth...he is six.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Fri 19-Apr-13 08:48:56

I honestly don't know anyone this cheeky. Which makes me worry it's me!

Hopasholic Fri 19-Apr-13 09:02:12

A woman at work retired 6months ago, in the new year she was spotted coming out of the rarely used staff showers and had 6 bottles of water filled from the water fountain with her shock

She'd been using the staff showers every day and filling up water bottles so she didn't have to use her own.

She'd kept hold of her staff pass to gain access.

She lived over an hour away but used her bus pass. grin

expatinscotland Fri 19-Apr-13 09:04:22

I have, but they never get anywhere with me because they soon learn I tell them where to stick it. 'Can you . . . ?' 'Yes, I can, but I won't. That doesn't work for me.'

SlatternismyMiddlename Fri 19-Apr-13 09:21:20

SIL phoned in a panic as some urgent DIY needed done at her house. DH gets up early the next day drives over with the tools and spends most of the day fixing the problem. He leaves the tools at her house (can't remember why but there was a reason).

The next week we arrange to call in and collect the tools but when we arrive she is not in and there is no one about so we drive on home. We are leaving very early the next morning for our summer holiday. About an hour after we get back home SIL on the phone screaming at us to come back and collect the tools. I explain that we had called around as arranged but nobody was there (she had gone to a neighbours), that to go round to hers now was over an hour round trip and we were going on holiday the next day and we weren't coming back. She went ballistic and said that if we didn't come back round that evening to collect them she was paying someone to take the tools to the local dump - these tools cost around £500! I refused to back down and she was screaming so badly at me that I put the phone down.

My poor DF was dragged into it. In the end we went on holiday and he went around to collect them damn tools at great inconvenience to himself.

All this because my DH did her a favour in the first place.

shock at all these cheek twats

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Fri 19-Apr-13 09:36:38

The same person I've mentioned a few times this week used to always text 'phone me' because she didn't want to pay for the call.

If I ignored her she'd text 'phone me' hourly.

Once she even caught me on facebook chat and asked if I'd call her because she needed to ask me a favour.


PastaBeeandCheese Fri 19-Apr-13 09:41:13

Only once and not really in the league of some of these.... Friend came over with a bag of stuff and said 'could you eBay these and give me the money. I know you have an account and I don't have time to be answering emails and posting stuff'.

How she thought I'd have more time than her ill never know.

expatinscotland Fri 19-Apr-13 09:41:23

Oh, cheapskates trying to take the piss really get nowhere with me. They are never skint, either. Just cheap.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Fri 19-Apr-13 09:45:12

Slattern did you point out that the tools were there because of a favour?
Am still shock at the four week old baby being mugged for his/her car seat and left on the floor!

CookieLady Fri 19-Apr-13 09:45:53

Slattern my sil did the same thing with baby equipment we'd kindly lent her. Never bothered doing anything helpful for her again.

expatinscotland Fri 19-Apr-13 09:46:28

DH had a cheapskate mate who no longer comes round because he doesn't get to raid the fridge and take stuff home or use the laptop and WiFi.

He used to commit insurance fraud, too.

silverten Fri 19-Apr-13 09:49:37

God some of these are just amazing.

The best I can manage is a cousin of DH's who we didn't invite to our wedding (because she is a manipulative witch who would have delighted in upsetting our guests).

When she saw her mums invitation she chucked a massive tearfest, which got back to DH's dad, who is a great peacemaker, so he then spent ages trying to persuade us to invite said drama queen.

Cheeky bitch knew exactly what would happen when she turned on the tears.

SlatternismyMiddlename Fri 19-Apr-13 09:50:36

Cookie -you're right, it makes you think twice about ever helping again. You would think people wouldn't be so short sighted.

EffieTheDuck Fri 19-Apr-13 09:50:59

Not really a friend but a woman who lived in the area told me that she could not find the key to my house in order to show her mother round! They had looked under the bin and everywhere so where did I keep my key! I had not long moved - they had peeped in the windows and said some rooms looked like a shithole.angry

CookieLady Fri 19-Apr-13 09:54:55

Slattern the astonishing part was that she felt she was doing us a favour by borrowing it. When dh collected the expensive items they were absolutely filthy. What a lovely way to treat other people's property! angry

putthecrispsDOWN Fri 19-Apr-13 10:04:08

Hilarious thread. Our neighbour (who we know to say hi/send Xmas cards to but not much more...i.e. we've never been in each others' houses) had my DHs phone number 'in case of emergency'. Make neighbour called DH at 3 o clock in the morning to ask DH to drive to the 24h supermarket and get cigarettes and beer for him as he had been drinking, had an argument with his wife and wanted to start smoking again. Lovely patient kind DH went round with some cigarettes we had from ages ago whe we smoked and sat listening to him moan about his wife for ages. He stayed lon enough to make sure he was 'ok' on his own and then scarpered back home!!

Also my friend had a birthday party for her DD at a play centre last month and a mum (just one of the general public who were also there) sent her children over to the buffet. When friend pointed out that it was a private party, cheeky mum just shrugged and said 'ah, they've started eating now, I'll let them finish then I don't need to give them any tea!!

I regularly give more than I get, and do ridiculous things for other people that cause me great inconvenience are never repaid. I think it's good to try to be nice even if it does mean getting mugged off once in a while and being full of rage

putthecrispsDOWN Fri 19-Apr-13 10:05:19

*male neighbour, sorry.

PastaBeeandCheese Fri 19-Apr-13 10:08:12

I've just remembered a funny one from when i was little. My lovely ex naval officer Grandad ran to the beach May to October with his towel and would swim in sea leaving the towel on the beach.

One day he emerged to find a woman drying her dog with the towel. Before he even said anything she scowled at him and said 'what, I'm just drying my dog and I won't be a minute'.

The memory of his face recounting the tale brings a smile to my face some 25 years later.

PastaBeeandCheese Fri 19-Apr-13 10:09:25

*towel and clothes so there was no way she could have thought the towel had been left behind.

LadyFlumpalot Fri 19-Apr-13 10:09:52

We have a yearly carnival that is a bit of a local event with the main parade at about 7pm. I used to live right on the carnival route. It's amazing how many "friends" suddenly remembered that I existed about a week before carnival. One lass would invite herself and her family to dinner before the ever and help herself to our drinks. She did it once.

One woman, whilst waiting for the parade to start, and despite me blatantly leaning against my front door, lifted her child over my garden fence and suggested that my flower beds might be a good place for him to have a wee! shock

I stopped them before he could and said to her "OI! If you'd asked, he could have used my loo. Now you can go use the public loos like everyone else." She just gave me a face and said "but he needs a wee and we'll lose our place!"

My MIL is a cheeky one, if we acquire anything she likes the look of she will sigh and pine over it in the hope we will offer it to her. When her car died we offered to help her find a new one. The list of specs she had to have in her next car was very limiting. In fact, it narrowed down her choices to one car. Ours. She didn't get it. Don't worry.

My MIL tried to give me get rid of a load of crappy tools "I thought DH would like them" (Erm, no) and a very 1980s leather bomber jacket (violet leather).

I live an 8 hour drive away.
Why would it be easier for me to transport a load of junk (and cost petrol money on the excess weight) than for her to get BIL to dump them?

And she thought I was ungrateful confused

Ezza1 Fri 19-Apr-13 10:12:01

A friend asked if she could store a few things in my garage as she was moving and these items were precious and she didn't want them lost/ damaged. Items included crockery, clothes and a table amongst others.

Every year I give the garage a good clear out. Every year for the last 12 years her possessions have been pushed to the back of the garage.

Yes. 12 FUCKING YEARS!!! (until January this year blush when I chucked the lot of mouldy old crap)

I have no idea what happened to friend. Tried emailing, texting, phoning but she has disappeared without a trace confused

12 years!!!!

Ezza1 Fri 19-Apr-13 10:12:01

A friend asked if she could store a few things in my garage as she was moving and these items were precious and she didn't want them lost/ damaged. Items included crockery, clothes and a table amongst others.

Every year I give the garage a good clear out. Every year for the last 12 years her possessions have been pushed to the back of the garage.

Yes. 12 FUCKING YEARS!!! (until January this year blush when I chucked the lot of mouldy old crap)

I have no idea what happened to friend. Tried emailing, texting, phoning but she has disappeared without a trace confused

12 years!!!!

Ezza1 Fri 19-Apr-13 10:12:01

A friend asked if she could store a few things in my garage as she was moving and these items were precious and she didn't want them lost/ damaged. Items included crockery, clothes and a table amongst others.

Every year I give the garage a good clear out. Every year for the last 12 years her possessions have been pushed to the back of the garage.

Yes. 12 FUCKING YEARS!!! (until January this year blush when I chucked the lot of mouldy old crap)

I have no idea what happened to friend. Tried emailing, texting, phoning but she has disappeared without a trace confused

12 years!!!!

Ezza1 Fri 19-Apr-13 10:12:01

A friend asked if she could store a few things in my garage as she was moving and these items were precious and she didn't want them lost/ damaged. Items included crockery, clothes and a table amongst others.

Every year I give the garage a good clear out. Every year for the last 12 years her possessions have been pushed to the back of the garage.

Yes. 12 FUCKING YEARS!!! (until January this year blush when I chucked the lot of mouldy old crap)

I have no idea what happened to friend. Tried emailing, texting, phoning but she has disappeared without a trace confused

12 years!!!!

Ezza1 Fri 19-Apr-13 10:13:42

OMFG - apologies for multiple post. Fuck knows what went wrong there!!

expatinscotland Fri 19-Apr-13 10:30:50

Cheeky buggers only try it on because they think they can get away with it. Once they know they can't with you, they attempt to find another mug.

And the world is full of them, just look at all the threads on here - cheeky so-called mates, cheeky neighbours, cheeky family, cocklodgers living for free.

picnicbasketcase Fri 19-Apr-13 10:32:03

Well, having read it four times, I'm convinced you should definitely bin the lot! What a bloody nerve. And if she does make a miraculous reappearance you can just laugh and tell her that you had reasonable assumed that if she hadn't needed any of it in twelve years, she no longer needed to encroach upon your space. grin

We visit the in-laws once a year. DH asked if there was anything he could help with while we were there. He should really have known betterhmm.
We arrived for our 5 day visit with DCs (9 and 11), to find MIL had written a 2-page close written list of jobs they "just don't have time for" what with both being retired and all ranging from washing out the (hundreds of) plant pots and hanging a towel holder on two existing screws, to stripping down and restoring a Victorian cloche with 16 slightly different panes of glass.
DH got to repair a security light (screw the bulb in) and mend the pond liner in sub-zero temperatures while DD got to sort through their Jiffy bags to decide which ones MIL wantedhmm.
I got told to wash the pots again as I hadn't done them right.
It took all my self restraint not to throw them at herconfused.
And they wonder why we don't visit more often!
They have a handyman but apparently don't want to bother him with these jobs when we'll drive 200 miles to do them for free
DH drew the line at varnishing the windowledges given they had a decorator coming the following week.

PaleHousewifeOfCumbriaCounty Fri 19-Apr-13 10:32:43

Gooseberry lady is a complete legend.

insanityscratching Fri 19-Apr-13 10:57:42

Dsis used to drop off her three children whenever she was going shopping or catching up on housework because "three more won't make a difference when you've already got four of your own"
The last time she did so was a couple of days before my due date for baby number five. As she left I said don't bring them next week when you go shopping as I'll either be overdue or have a newborn.
The following week she phoned to see if I'd had the baby and dh said no but my waters had gone and I'd be going to the hospital to be induced the next day if nothing happened under its own steam later.
An hour later she turned up reasoning that as dh was home I wouldn't mind having her three whilst she went shopping as there was dh to help and I never had quick labours anyway.
She was most affronted when dh sent her packing and bitched to everyone about it.

gallifrey Fri 19-Apr-13 11:25:56

Not quite in the same league as some of these cheeky feckers but I had a friend who had a pfb son and would make my dd play with him at school, she is in the year above him and has her own friends and tbh he is a bit of a strange child and she doesn't like him very much! He is a bit obsessed with my dd and one day when she wouldn't play with him he told his Mum and she invited me round for a coffee the next day and then basically quizzed me on why my dd doesn't want to play with her ds! She then even said "oh well they probably won't be getting married now either then!!!!" They were 5...
Another time we were invited round for dinner and she didn't make our dd any food, she thought she would have already eaten.
Then as we were leaving she offered to give my dd some sweets because she thought they were too dangerous for her precious ds to eat! It wasn't until I got out into my car I realised that clearly she didn't care she had given "dangerous" sweets to my child!

TraceyTrickster Fri 19-Apr-13 12:44:50

Me H and DD (5) have lived overseas for 5 years. We went to UK for a couple of years.
We lived 2 hours from my mother and 2 brothers.
My mother became ill and needed someone to visit her weekly and do her shopping etc. I am the only sibling with a young child AND a full time job.
My brothers baulked at being responsible for our mother once every 3 weeks....after all I had lived overseas and there needed to 'make up time' by visiting my mother EVERY weekend. They thought, as the girl, I would take over their responsibilities
My poor daughter would have been bored shitless with a 4 hour car trip every weekend...and would have had no real time with me (Dealing with an immobile person is not fun).
And the brothers never actually went- despite living minutes away, their other halves (being capable females) looked after my mother.

cocolepew Fri 19-Apr-13 13:59:19

Seriously I am boggling at these, keep them coming grin.
The woman looking for your house key! shock

Ezza1 - really pissed off about it aren't you! grin

K8Middleton Fri 19-Apr-13 14:47:22

Wow wow wow at so many cheeky buggers! I always used to think how does this happen? Until it happened to me this week. I had to check with 4 people that I wasn't being unreasonable because I was just astonished anyone would have the brass neck to ask.

Can you look after <child you have barely met once before and do not know in the slightest> before school and take to school with your dc? We both have work at 9am and it's a pain to get there after 8am drop off sent at 7pm the night before by parent I do not know and met for the first time 3 days earlier.

Funnily enough I could not look after random kid from 7am and herd RK, dc1 and baby along a busy route to school.

Never apologise, never explain.

tangerinefeathers Fri 19-Apr-13 14:47:41

When we lived in London we got a message from a friend saying his wife's friend would love for her son to stay with us for a week - he was a gorgeous, sweet 15 year old who was keen to practice English.

Stupidly we said yes. A sullen know-it-all typical teenager turned up with a girlfriend in tow. They ignored us, ate our food, drank all our milk, stayed in our lounge room and kept the door shut until noon every day so we couldn't use that room. In the end I found myself vacuuming loudly outside the door just like my mother used to do to me, bashing it against the door to wake them up. The girl's parents never even contacted us to say thanks.

Another classic, my sister always used to bring round christmas gifts when we were flying home long haul to visit family. One year it was three massive tins of Selfridges biscuits. We dutifully carted them home, despite a three day stopover, only to have her turn up as a surprise for Christmas a few days later. I said to her, so did you know you were coming when you gave me half your gifts to drag home, and she said, well, yes, but I had a stopover in Sri Lanka.

Final one still makes my blood boil. Met some friends at a festival. The kids were hungry so we decided to get a couple of pizzas. My friend (a consultant doctor) didn't have enough money - he never does - so I paid for most of them. Then we bumped into one of his friends and her three kids. They came to sit with us and basically descended on our pizza (we were starving, my DH had been moving house that morning) and we were left with a couple of slices. It was all done in this very smiley, friendly way but at the same time I knew the friend was happy because her kids were fed and she hadn't spent a penny (she's also loaded). We didn't have any more cash so had to leave as we were still starving. We got done.

expatinscotland Fri 19-Apr-13 17:08:54

See, mugs are mugs because they allow it. The second they started descending on that pizza, I'd have snatched it away and said, 'Hey, go get your own! We're starving!'

And someone in your own house with the door closed to your own living room? And you couldn't use it? Throw the door open, go about your business and give them an hour to pack up and leave.

I've done it, too. DH had a friend he met online come stay with us whilst I was 5 months pregnant. I told her no smoking in the flat, we had a nice balcony.

Woke up for work in the morning and the living room was like a fecking nightclub the air was so fuggy with smoke.

I told her to get out.

The person who never has any money on them, there's a reason for that. Stop spotting them. 'Oh, I don't have any money on me!' 'Again! Oh, well, gotta feed the kiddos,' then you go on and do it and stop buying them FA.

EarlyInTheMorning Fri 19-Apr-13 17:22:21

Expat, your DH met a female friend online and she came to stay???? shock

expatinscotland Fri 19-Apr-13 17:27:04

I knew her, too. Believe me, she was minging. But I threw her out for smoking in the flat when we asked her politely not to smoke indoors.

SingingSands Fri 19-Apr-13 17:37:55

My cousin invited me back to her flat so we could get changed for a hen do. She gave me a quick tour then said "you can get ready in there" and shoved me into the lounge. She had a shower then shut herself in her bedroom. There were no curtains in the lounge, huge windows as it was on the 3rd floor of an Edinburgh tenement and I was 7 months pregnant! I didn't fancy flashing my flesh to the entire streets I got changed in the hall instead!

pedrohedges Fri 19-Apr-13 17:41:30

My neighbour stole my wheelbarrow, i know it was mine because it had my name on it (kids got one of those label machines)
He also stole my yard brush, his kids pick my flower and his girlfriend asked to use my laptop to see pictures of aborted babies as she was planning an abortion.
The last one i told her to sod off, i was that shocked.

ShanksYoni Fri 19-Apr-13 17:54:32

OP - mine's similar. My Grandma used to smoke occasionally, outside so that I would still go round with DS1.

Her "friend" used to smoke whenever she visited her, because she didn't want her husband to know she smoked. By the same token, she would smoke my grandma's cigarettes because she couldn't buy her own in case her husband found out.

YouDontWinFriendsWithSalad Fri 19-Apr-13 18:11:01

I loaned about £100 to a friend at uni. I shouldn't have done it - friend's parents were loaded and gave her money each month for rent and spends. But she always spent it on booze, clothes etc. I was a normal, skint student.

I kept asking for the money back. Friend eventually threw her hands in the air and said to me with a sneer "why are you so obsessed about money? You're so boring."

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Fri 19-Apr-13 18:17:14

"You're so boring."

The friend who'd come to my house and use my laptop/wander around our bedrooms for ages called me boring was.

My crime? I told her she'd have to leave (after I'd cooked her dinner, she's used my laptop for two hours and I'd watched her delinquent son throw his my plate on the floor) because I was knackered due to just having worked a nightshift and feeling under the weather.

I think that was the last time I invited her round.

Tishtash2teeth Fri 19-Apr-13 18:17:26

We rented out our house to my BIL and family when we moved away for a few years. The garden gate was falling to peices and FIL offered to fix it and asked DH for money for materials.

A few days later he told DH he was planning to put a double gate at the bottom of the garden so he could park HIS campervan (which he lived in) in our garden. And could he have £200 in order to do this!

When DH explained to him that we didn't want the fence removing and replaced by a gate, he didn't talk to DH for 6 months. He regained contact one week before his birthday!

Another example I have is that I was in town with a good friend and she made a point out of having to return her top to Miss Selfridge. I ask her "don't you like it anymore". She snapped back "I still like it but I we'd money to buy YOU a birthday present"!

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Fri 19-Apr-13 18:17:54

Once, not was!


This thread is winding me up but I'm sooooooooo enjoying it!


Whojamaflip Fri 19-Apr-13 20:49:27

Many years ago when I was in a flat share with a work mate we both adopted kittens and when they were about 6 mths old she left to go home. She asked if I would look after her kitten until she got settled in a new flat (she was initially staying with her dm who wouldn't have a cat in the house)

Fair enough............haven't heard from her since and the old cat was pts last year at the ripe old age of 16 grin

EOS please tell me you told BIL to fuck off?

EverybodysSootyEyed Fri 19-Apr-13 21:30:12

when i upgraded my phone my bil and sil asked if they could have the old one to give to their mum s hers was really old. they needed to get a new cover because it was broken and a sim.

i said fine, sent it over with charger and all accessories etc

come xmas, we are all at mil's and i asked if she liked her new phone - cue confused look from mil and glares from sil - turns out it was all wrapped up under the tree as her xmas present!

they could have at least told us!

HeadFairy Fri 19-Apr-13 22:01:51
mamadoc Sat 20-Apr-13 00:05:16

Ex friend, complete user.
I put up with her for ages because she had a hard life and I felt sorry for. Later on I realised that in some cases you make your own luck.

Dh and I did loads for her including babysitting, DIY, lifts, meals, lending money (never repaid), use of our phone, computer, printer. If you gave an inch she would take a mile every time:

Invite her for morning coffee she'd still be there at bedtime.
Let her use the phone for an important call (of course she'd never any credit on hers) she'd be nattering to her mate for an hour.
Offer a lift once and suddenly you're the unpaid taxi service for every occasion. (Her answer to being refused was why don't we put her on our insurance, then she won't have to bother us)

One of the cheekiest was the occasion she turned up unannounced early on a Sunday am with towel and toiletries expecting to have a bath at mine as she had no money for hot water.

Another time she came with a load of wet washing to hang on my radiators so as not to have to put her heating on.

She seemed to think that as we are a working two parent family and she's a single mum we somehow were obliged to be her personal charity. It quickly went from us sometimes offering to help to being obliged to be constantly available to bail her out. When we wised up and started saying no we got such nasty abusive texts, calls and e-mails we had to change all our contacts.

Lesson learnt. Channeling expat from now on..

JollyJumpingJelly Sat 20-Apr-13 00:36:09

A"friend" I hadn't seen for a while came to see dd at 5 weeks. After about 5 minutes, she asked if her and (new boyfriend I have never met) could take her to the zoo alone in a few weeks as 'he really likes babies'.
Haven't heard from her since saying no!

Thisvehicleisreversing Sat 20-Apr-13 00:56:55

My DM still holds a grudge with her SIL for something that happened 25 y ago.
My DM had a beautiful silver cross pram that was my DB's. By the time he'd grown out of it her SIL was pg so my DM said she could have it for her new baby. She was very grateful and kept saying how kind it was and how beautiful the pram was etc.
After the baby was born my mum saw her in town with the baby in a different pram. My mum asked if there was a problem with the original pram "oh no" SIL replied " it was so nice I returned it to Mothercare for a refund, bought this one and still had some money left over"
My DM was too shocked to say anything.
As you can imagine my DM still goes on about this now.

megsmouse Sat 20-Apr-13 01:31:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rockinhippy Sat 20-Apr-13 01:31:54

I had one today, not a friend though, - I face paint & noticed an ad for a local upcoming fete offering stalls for hire, so I emailed, with attached flyer, asking details of the stalls for rent & if they had a face painter yet, as I didn't want to do it if I wasn't the only painter, not really worthwhile.

Return email recieved today - Thank you for your enquiry, we can't offer you a stall, but we love your work and think a facepainter would be a great idea, so we would love to book you for our fete. We can't afford to pay you , but we are making a donation to insert local kids charity we are sure the children will love having their face painted whilst their parents shop


Rockinhippy Sat 20-Apr-13 01:49:26

Oh & how could I forget the wonderful fur coat & no knickers DM of my DDs old nursery friend...

She took the pee with play dates - frequently invited her DD to ours, in front of my DD - so putting me on the spothmm her DD was sweet enough, but harder work than mine as she was obviously mollycoddled & therefore could be quite demanding - the favour was never returned - always promises to DD as she was leaving though, but only ever happened once - I would have told her to sling her hook months earlier if it wasn't for the 2 DCs loving each other so much.

One time she came to pick up, DH offered her coffee, she turned around to her friend & said, oh wonderful, that's what you call good child care shock - but that was nothing to the day I was in upstairs & heard frantic banging on my front door - it was this DM & her DD - puzzled as both girls should have been at nursery, mine was - found out later her DD had been sent home sick & she was bringing her round for me to take care of so she could work - thankfully I ignored the door -

tangerinefeathers Sat 20-Apr-13 02:22:51

Expat I'm not normally a mug at all. But it was one of those situations where these people were so grabby - one kid literally snatched a second piece of pizza from the box as I lifted it away from him - that unless I made a real scene the deal was done. And that was pretty much a deal breaker with that friend, I can't stand spongers. I should have been faster though, am still kicking myself.

As for the teenagers, that was before I had kids and didn't realise how firm you need to be with them. It took a day or so but finally I went in there and kicked them out, told them we needed the room and they needed to leave for the day. But I couldn't kick them out entirely because they were 15 and in London for the first time. I did ring the mother and tell her how rude it was to dump two brats on me for a week.

Ledkr Sat 20-Apr-13 02:47:50

My friend cane to soft play with minimal amount if money and forgotten card. She can't afford to get in so I lend what I've git left after paying for my dc. We get inside and i scrape together enough for a drink.
Friend then has a drink and a panini with my money hmm
On the way home asked to stop at her house for purse then back to local shop to buy food. I said no.
Same friend asked if she can stay at mine with her dd to share my sitter.
Then pulls a bloke and goes AWOL untill midday leaving me to get up hungover with her dd while my (older) dc sleep until late.

Jollyb Sat 20-Apr-13 03:25:36

DP's crazy cousin from NZ stayed with us when she first moved to London. He hadn't seen her in 16 years. She hadn't yet found a job but signed up for an expensive flat share in Clapham with three friends, all in a similar position. DP then received a text asking if he could be guarantor for their rent!

She also tried to burn down our flat but that's another story. . .

amigababy Sat 20-Apr-13 05:03:13

we have an apartment in Spain in a shared block with a private pool. some apartments are lived in, some rented and some empty. there's a big hotel next door and a small problem of footballs coming over the fence but usually people are ok about it. last year I was sunbathing when a dad and 2 sons walked into the pool area and dad started climbing all over the fence looking for a ball. after a couple of minutes I politely said "this is a private block, do you mind. not climbing on the fence "
and he turned on me in front of his 2 boys and went on and on about what An attitude problem I had and how I was an f* ing snob.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Sat 20-Apr-13 05:04:27

I'm reading this thinking how lucky I am to not know any cheeky twats...then I remembered...

Brother's friend from school met a girl from Montrose (being specific. hope she reads this) They had a baby and moved to Cheshire then got married.

in the run up to the wedding my mum took pity on her being so far from her mum and took her under her wing, helping to plan the wedding.

we went dress shopping, she saw a dress she loved but didn't have immediate access to the money to buy it (but would within weeks) I put the foray payment on my credit card and mum lent her the final payment (400 each)

I struggled to get the money back off her, she gave it in dribs and drabs. mum told her to pay her loan back after the wedding.

well, you can guess how this goes.

within a year she had filed for divorce (her ex is a lovely bloke and didn't deserve her - genuinely it was all down to her being a grade A scrounging, selfish, bitch)

Mum tried to stay impartial and support them both. eventually asked friend for money back, no text from friend. When she did reply she avoided the subject or rolled out a sob story. this went on for months.

The final straw was her texting my mum and asking her to be guarantor on a car loan shock At this point mum told her where to get off and demanded the 400 back, hasn't heard from her since.

This woman is so foul and totally out to get what she can regardless of hurting people. Last I heard she had "allowed" her ex to take their son for the day on Mother's Day, she had stuff to do apparently hmm

I actually despise her with a passion.

CheerfulYank Sat 20-Apr-13 06:25:46

My grandmother. I posted about this recently. She's just not very pleasant, really.

She has 4 kids who each live in a different state. She now lives in the same state/town as my aunt, her youngest DC. Aunt has 6 kids (4 at home), the youngest has special needs. She also has three jobs.

My GM basically huffs and puffs and stews if my Aunt is not at her beck and call. GM has health problems and can't drive herself anywhere, etc, so my Aunt does all that. But my GM does not like children, so she "requests" that my aunt drives her places alone. She phrases it as "oh it's just so nice to spend time with just you!" But really, she just does not like kids. So my aunt has to get her older DD to watch the younger ones instead of just bringing her with them.

My aunt has to buy my GM cigarettes every other day. GM smokes half a pack a day. She cannot have a carton because "I'd just smoke them all!" So every other day she demands my aunt get her 1 pack.

Recently my aunt and my dad took my GM to a huge, well known clinic to see if they could fix her health issues. They both took eight or nine days off of work to do this. My aunt had to drive my GM ten hours to get there and get a hotel room. GM offered to "split the costs" with my aunt. My aunt apologetically told her that with all the money she was losing from taking off work she really couldn't pay for any gas or hotel costs. (My GM has plenty of money, BTW.) GM fumed for weeks over this.

Over the summers my GM stays in her cabin, which is in my parents' state/town, and they are expected to take over the running. It's not as bad because my dad stands his ground better than my aunt, but still!

I have several cousins in their late teens/early 20's and last year my dad, aunt, and their two brothers tried to tell my GM that a few of my cousins could take turns staying with her for a week. That way she could have someone with her to help out. Her response? "Absolutely not, I stay alone. And I will be staying all three months. DS (my dad) will be helping me."

Arrrgh! I'm dying to give her the what for but my dad has said no. One of her other sons is pretty feisty, though, and I sense he's about to snap. <waits in glee>

Meringue33 Sat 20-Apr-13 08:08:52

Friend A, lets call her Alice, was notoriously tight. She charged me £12 in petrol costs once for a lift with her to visit another mutual friend (she had offered me the lift, there was no mention there would be a charge til we were on the way home and I could have taken the bus for about £4!)

She was out with another friend, lets call him Mark, a single dad to two. As they entered a cafe, Alice said to Mark, "I'll buy you a coffee but I can't get the kids one too!" (Mark was fully expecting to pay own way and had not hinted otherwise!)

She counted favours and would call them in unexpectedly. Friend C, lets call her Kirsten, was a bit vulnerable for a number if reasons. Alice gave her a few old items of furniture and went round to help paint Kirsten's new home (at Alice's instigation, Kirsten would probably just have left it as it was). Alice told everyone how grateful Kirsten was and how rewarding it was to help someone in need. Then seven months later she rang up Kirsten to say "I'm decorating my house this weekend and you need to come and help because I helped you." She was outraged that Kirsten had already made other important plans.

fuzzpig Sat 20-Apr-13 09:50:00

My parents are pushovers and I would often wake in the small hours to loud chatting downstairs as a neighbour/friend was round yet again getting dad to help with her teenaged son's essays that were due in the next day (typing/printing/editing etc)! Son was still at home, quite possibly asleep! This continued up to his uni dissertation! In fairness it wasn't so much that neighbour was a user, she is a good friend and has helped our family lots, it is more that she was a total pushover when it came to saying no to her lazy son (her other son never needed any such help).

fuzzpig Sat 20-Apr-13 10:02:52

I am really glad I don't know any cheeky buggers as an adult. I did have a friend like this as a child/teen though, and I'm glad I cut contact when I did.

One time I really annoyed her because I pointed out after a 45min phone call I hadn't actually said a single word since "hi"!

What finally made me realise that she was all take take take was when I was 14 - I had helped her memorising words for a play, spent so long on it I still remember the speech now! Then when I asked her to just listen once to my 15min presentation (English HW) she suddenly urgently had to go watch big brother - which incidentally she had never watched before and the series was nearly finished hmm

A small thing I know (though it felt huge at the time since school is such a massive part of life), nothing like many of the gobsmacking posts on this thread, but to me it totally summed up her attitude and I still remember the sudden epiphany as I hung up the phone, that it had always been, and would always be, about her. I loved her dearly but it didn't take long to cut contact after that, and I'm sure if I hadn't I would have many more examples to write on this thread!

Lavenderhoney Sat 20-Apr-13 11:28:07

I was 8 months prgnt with a toddler in tow. A friend, who also had a toddler asked me to collect her to go to a toddler gym as her dh had the car as he was working and it was an early class. I collected her, going a few miles out of my way and then back on myself for the class. Her husbands car was outside her house which I commented on as she could have got herself to the class " oh, he is very tired and having a rest"

She was also carrying a massive holdall and when I asked what it was for, didnt answer.

After the class, she went into the loos with her dd, kept me waiting for 20 mins, emerged dressesd up herself with her dd in a party frock and said could I drop her at the local posh hotel as her dh was treating her to lunch, again miles out of my way.

Invited me to her wedding then shouted at me for giving ds my slice of the wedding cake " it's not for children"

Another friend asked me if she could borrow my life savings to pay for her university course as otherwise she would have to sell her jewellery. I said no and she said I was mean and tight fisted.

Dm and dsis - I had a newborn in a very smart location and popular with tourists. They used to drive 2 hours to see me, come in, use the loo, have a cup of tea and leave. Took me 6 months to realise they went shopping after and wandered round the town, not driving straight home as I was led to believe.

I only found out as dsis said she had to rush back as it took 2 hours to get home , traffic was bad and she had to pick her dd up from school. It was a Saturday.

cocolepew Sat 20-Apr-13 12:20:03

My aunt moved into a downstairs flat, there was only one above her, it looks like a block of houses IYSWIM? The front doirs are next to each other and face onto tge car park. She has a garden and upstairs has a loft.

One day the bloke from upstairs came to her door and said he was going out the back to the garden. To do this he would have to go through her flat. When she asked why ge said he wanted to sit in the sun and they were to share the garden.

He was very offended when she laughed in his face.

Mirage Sat 20-Apr-13 13:15:02

We got married abroad and had a reception back home for friends and family.My grandmother doesn't drive so my mum said that she'd arrange and pay for a taxi to and from the event for her.That wasn't good enough,my gran would only consider attending if my mum left along with her and accompanied her home.My mum pointed out that as mother of the bride,she couldn't disappear half way through my reception as it would be rude and as she didn't drive either,how would she get back or get home.

Gm tried emotional blackmail by weeping and going on about how awful it was that she was being prevented from attending her GD's wedding.I'd had a lifetime of this,so when she told me that she wouldn't be coming unless my mum stayed with her and came home at the same time,I just said 'that's a shame'.I refused to bend because she has run my mum ragged all her life and no way was I standing for it.GM was furious,and spent all the time leading up to the reception,telling everyone that it was her GD'S wedding,then when they said 'how nice,I bet you are looking forward to it',she'd put on the sad face and said that she wouldn't be going and made out that she hadn't been invited.I wasn't bothered because the people who knew her knew what she was like and the others who were fooled by the sweet little old lady act,I didn't care about their opinion.

She has form though,she bought 2 kids my mum had never seen before to my mum,her only daughter's wedding,because she was childminding them and didn't want to turn the money down.shock

Heinz55 Sat 20-Apr-13 13:19:18

A man and his gf who came to our wedding despite not being invited!! We are from a rural area and most of HIS friends were coming but as he hadn't bothered coming to my fil's funeral a few months previous I thought oh well, he's obviously not THAT close a friend so didn't invite him. He came and was accomodated! In fact we invited 120 people and despite two two siblings not being able to make it we ended up with 124 guests.....confused

Heinz55 Sat 20-Apr-13 13:20:18

Oh dear blush accomModated.....blush

Heinz55 Sat 20-Apr-13 13:24:13

That's it! The other extra guests were when one friend asked if she could bring her teenaged daughter. We said yes, so she did - and the daughters two pals!!!!

Lavenderhoney Sat 20-Apr-13 13:55:54

I turned round at my wedding to see a little bridesmaid. Mil thought I wouldn't mind even though I said no bridesmaids.

Euphemia Sat 20-Apr-13 14:28:25

Lavender What? shock I mean, what?

Itsallabout Sat 20-Apr-13 14:28:45

One of my neighbours is fond of being cheeky.

Whilst I was going through treatment for cancer she asked us to feed her cat when they went on holiday. When I said No she huffed and puffed and said Well who the hell am I supposed to use now?

She asked to borrow my car to drop her kids at school as hers wouldn't start. She was gone for 5 hours, did her weekly grocery shop and used half a tank of petrol.

Text me asking me to pop round as she had an emergency. Then handed me a shopping list and perscription to collect. She was feeling unwell and would I mind doing a few jobs for her.

Asked me to look after her kids so she could go out. I said I didn't feel up to it. She dropped them at the end of our drive and drove off. Both kids were unwell and I ended up in hospital for a week after catching the flu from them.

She offered to help with the school run when I had chemo appointments but then said she now couldn't be arsed as it didn't suit her.

PurplePidjin Sat 20-Apr-13 14:35:17

When i first bought my flat (aged 24), i let a colleague's dd (19) move in. I'd always wanted a pet so got a kitten.

19yo fell in love and asked if she could get one too. I said yes providing she bought food, paid vet bills and stayed for at least a year. This was October.

For my birthday in November i was presented with a kitten in need of spaying (mine was male) and her notice hmm

Then there was my bf at school who insisted i was to be her maid of honour at her wedding to the man i introduced her to and set her up with (weeks of angst from both over whether the other one liked them). By the wedding i was barely invited, and they stopped speaking to me immediately after because i was a stuck up snob - who travelled 2 hours home on the train from uni every couple of weeks so we could go to the pub where they alternately picked each others spots and talked about themselves. Took an average of 45 minutes to ask how i was each time, and i was in the middle of both my first year at uni and a vicious break up!

Bitter? Moi?

cocolepew Sat 20-Apr-13 14:35:53

Lavender, nooo, really?

This thread is bad for my blood pressure but I'm strangely drawn to it.

Euphemia Sat 20-Apr-13 14:38:21

The first time I got married, my fiancé's GM was quite elderly and turned down our invitation as she would have to come in a wheelchair and she "Didn't want to be the centre of attention." hmm Erm, no love, that'll be me in the big white dress everyone's looking at, not a wee grannie in a chair. (Both my GMs would be there too.)

FIL asked if DH and I would go in a taxi to see GM on our wedding day ie abandon the reception for over an hour to go and satisfy the old bag's narcissism. hmm

We said NO!!!

These are the people who, the week before the wedding, because we said we were having Christmas dinner on our own, invited us for dinner on Christmas Eve only to then serve us up AN ENTIRE CHRISTMAS DINNER! Fucking crackers and everything. angry FIL had given us a lift to Sainsbury's a few days beforehand as well, and had watched me load turkey, stuffing, etc. onto the conveyor belt.

Gits. Losing them in the divorce was the best bit!

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sat 20-Apr-13 14:42:30

I turned round at my wedding to see a little bridesmaid. Mil thought I wouldn't mind even though I said no bridesmaids.

Could you please elaborate on this? Justt for moe shock factor.

NeedlesCuties Sat 20-Apr-13 14:50:19

When I was a teen we lived in a nice quiet suburban cul de sac. One day mum went out to drive my siblings to school and the car was gone, had been nicked.

It was a bit of a scrapper, my dad called it "the put-put" and was just a runaround for mum to get about while dad's car was the 'main' car.

Police traced the car to the far side of town in a rough housing estate. The thief hadn't stolen the stereo or any of the tapes (this was in the 1990s before CDs!). Everything in the car was as we'd left it, including my brother's Thomas the Tank Engine toys in the back seat. The oddest thing was they'd put a steering lock on it so no one else could steal it! Mum never had a steering lock for it as she didn't think it was worth stealing!

So strange confused

WeAreEternal Sat 20-Apr-13 14:52:07

My next door but one neighbour is the ultimate in cheeky people.

in the 4 years that i have known him he regularly asks to borrow things, but he thinks that once permission have been given on one occasion that allows him to take the items whenever he pleases.
This includes him just going into my garage/shed/house and helping himself when he wants something, without asking.
I have asked him not to do this many, many times, but he still does it.

It all came to a head in October.

We own a house in Mexico, it is my favourite place in the world and isn't just a holiday house, to me it is my home. We have our clothes in the wardrobes, our food in the cupboards and family pictures on the walls.

We do however, occasionally allow close friends and family to stay in our house, because we are nice like that.
Two years ago SIL, her DH and their DCs went for a holiday there, they managed to get flights for a couple of hundred pounds and were really excited/proud of their amazing cheap holiday.
After they got back they came round for a barbecue, the neighbour 'popped over to say hi' ( which he always did just as we were sieving up the food) he was very impressed to hear about SILs super cheap amazing holiday and really enjoyed looking at her pictures.

The next morning the neighbour came round and told me that he was really impressed with SILs amazing holiday and had looked at the cost if flights to Mexico when he went home.
He told me that he had found some cheap flights and asked if he and his family could stay in our house.
I tried to be tactful and told him that we don't really like people staying there as its our home and not just a holiday house, and that we only let SIL go as it they don't have much money and if was their first holiday in 8 years.
The neighbour then spent the next couple of weeks begging me, telling me how they are broke and can't afford a holiday this year (they live in a five bed detached house and drive a merc and a BMW and he has a very good job, oh and they had already been abroad twice that year)
Finally I gave in and agreed. They went and had a lovely holiday.

Fast forward to last October.
My best friends mum (who I have known since I was 10 and who I call mum) went out for a holiday with her partner.
They had been there for a few days and came home one evening from a day out to find luggage in the hallway and some random people asleep in the beds.
BFM didn't wake them as she was afraid they were burglars as she snook out of the house and phoned me to ask if I knew what was going on and who they were. I obviously knew nothing so BFM called the local police.

The police arrived and woke up the random strangers and asked who they were and what they are doing in the house, they told the police that they are friends of the owners and had permission to be there. BFM told the police that they were lying as she had spoken to me, she was my family, and we had no idea who they were.
The random strangers and their children were escorted out if the house and taken to the local station. All the while ranting they they had permission to stay there and that it was BFM who they should be taking away.
I helped that one of the pictures on the wall is one of me my best friend and her mum, so it was obvious that they knew us.

The police called me and I confirmed what BFM had said, that she was they one with permission to be there and I had no idea who the random strangers were, and certainly hasn't given permission to anyone else as I only allowed family to stay in my home.

The policeman then told me who the people were.... It was the neighbour and his family!!
It turned out that he had made copies of my house keys and had visited my home for 6 holidays in the last two years!!!!

The best part was that after the police sorted it all out and let them go the neighbour and him family still expected to be able to stay in my house!
BFM had the locks changed and told the neighbour where to go.
But on the last day of her holiday they neighbour turned up to check if they were gone yet, because he wanted to move him family in as soon as she had left!

When the neighbour got home he came to bang on my door and rant about how I had ruined his holiday and how terrified his children were. How thanks to me they had be forced to stay in a horrible hotel and then he tried to present me with a bill for the hotel!
Basically he believed that because I forced him to stay in a hotel I should be responsible for the cost.

I was livid and told him that I gave him permission to stay in my house one time, not to use it as their own personal holiday home, and if anything I should be billing him for staying in my house.
He actually tried to act like he had done me a favour as he saw it that he had been 'looking after' my house while he was staying there.

We haven't spoken since, unless he wants to borrow something.

I now have someone that I pay to keep an eye on the place, just in case someone decided to take a free holiday again.

Euphemia Sat 20-Apr-13 14:55:24

had visited my home for 6 holidays in the last two years

shock Chancing bastards! Amazing brass neck!

Lavenderhoney Sat 20-Apr-13 14:56:23

smile more details....

I went up the aisle with my df, and then when the vicar said where are the rings? We looked round to see a little bridesmaid with them on a cushion coming up the aisle!

We had arranged for bil to have them but mil wanted dn to get involved, and went ahead as she was sure I wouldn't mind. I did. Me and dh were the only ones who didn't know and everyone else just assumed we did as it was all arranged and never came up in conversation!

My new bil and sil were horrified when they realised their dd was a stealth bridesmaid.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sat 20-Apr-13 14:59:34

Ah, the Mexican house story wins the thread.

Game over!


expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 15:05:45

'Asked me to look after her kids so she could go out. I said I didn't feel up to it. She dropped them at the end of our drive and drove off. Both kids were unwell and I ended up in hospital for a week after catching the flu from them.'

She's really lucky to have you, because Id have rung the police then and there and told them she abandoned them, because she had.

WeAreEternal Sat 20-Apr-13 15:06:07

The most shocking part was that he didn't seem to think he had done anything wrong and that I would be completely ok with him having his own set of keys cut and visiting whenever he please because he 'fell in love with the area'.
He didn't seem to think it was at all unreasonable behaviour and actually pointed out all of the reasons why he should be grateful to me, things like replacing coffee filters and shower hell which they had used up!

WeAreEternal Sat 20-Apr-13 15:07:18

Who I should be grateful to him* even.

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 15:11:21

Why did you let him stay there in the first place? I'd have told him to fuck off.

'We haven't spoken since, unless he wants to borrow something.'

Are you telling him to fuck off yet?

Euphemia Sat 20-Apr-13 15:14:05

My new bil and sil were horrified when they realised their dd was a stealth bridesmaid.

What, MIL hadn't told them? shock

silverten Sat 20-Apr-13 15:29:34

This is just stunning. How on earth these people get to the heights of such entitlement I simply cannot imagine.

Mexican house-thief is clearly the winner on outright cheekiness, but I still love the thought of mad gooseberry lady best.

The outrage! All because you'd been so inconsiderate as to eat all of your own soft fruit!! None left for the casual thief!!!

Gerrof Sat 20-Apr-13 15:33:31

Jesus H Christ at these fuckers. The Mexican house thief - why in the name of ARSE did you let him stay there i the first place? Please tell me you no longer lend him things.

Blimey I would have gone nuts at half of the scenarios on this thread.

Ezza1 Sat 20-Apr-13 15:41:00

What The Fuck We Are Eternal !!! Crazy Mexico story!!!

Winner !!! thanks

I'm sure I would be doing time if anyone did something like that to me!

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 15:41:20

'The Mexican house thief - why in the name of ARSE did you let him stay there i the first place? Please tell me you no longer lend him things.'

He comes and gets them. Then put a fucking LOCK on your stuff and tell him to FUCK OFF your property if you find him on it.

Behind every cheeky bugger is a sucker who lets them away with it.

Gerrof Sat 20-Apr-13 15:43:07

Call the cops next time he comes Anywhere near your stuff. You have repeatedly told him not to help himself.

Fuck neighbourly relations. You don't have to be friendly just because you have the misfortune to live within a few hundred feet of each other,

Lavenderhoney Sat 20-Apr-13 15:48:29

Euphemia, they had no idea we didn't want any bridesmaids and when mil bought the dress, cushion etc just thought it was what we wanted.

Can't believe the gumption of people - gooseberry lady and Mexican house!

I also had an friend who used to come round with her dd, and immediately take a long call from her dm leaving me to entertain the dc. She would be at least an hour and she also used to go upstairs!! When I asked her to stop she got really huffy and found someone else to visit and use as free childcare.

One lady also came round, changed her nb nappy and threw the nappy bag over the back of the sofa. I thought it was strange she didn't ask me where the bin was and just presumed she had taken it awaysmile

RoseLavenderBlue Sat 20-Apr-13 15:52:27

Years ago I worked with a girl who was really skint for various reasons, and had a party to go to so asked if she could borrow a dress from me. I had only worn the dress once myself, but felt sorry for her and lent her the dress. Its return was not forthcoming and when I asked for it back she made some excuse. I even went round to her house especially to ask for it and she refused to give it back. (She had probably sold it...). So I never saw my dress again but the worse thing was that I had bought it from a catalogue and still hadn't finished paying for it!

Another occasion, a work colleague rang me as she had locked herself out of the house while leaving for work one afternoon. (We worked shifts and it was my day off). She asked if I could come and pick her up and drive her to her mums to get the spare key, which I did. She said she would give me petrol money. Anyway, the mum wasn't in and we just ended up driving back to her house to try to borrow ladders to climb up to a window. This didn't work so I drove her to work and she had to get to her mum's after work. So I spent about two hours driving her around, using my petrol. Instead of the promised petrol money she gave me some chocolates! I remember this though, as it was 2001 (I think) just before the petrol strike which meant I had used up all my fuel driving her around and could not get any more petrol so ended up cycling to work for the rest of the week!

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 15:54:50

Exactly, Geroff. We rented a house where the neighbour kept trying to do this to the LL, who continually refused his requests because he'd have trouble getting back his stuff. He instructed us not to allow him to borrow any of the tools or things he, the LL owned - he had canoes, sea kayaks, bikes and other such items in his garage.

So LL moved abroad a couple of years whilst we let the house. I guess the neighbour thought this was a carte blanche to try to help himself to LL's things. But we kept everything locked.

LL's lawnmower had broken and he purchased a new, £400 one he wanted online as we were looking after the quite large garden. DH used it a few times and neighbour poked head over fence, 'Oh, a new lawnmower.' DH, 'Yes, it's LL's lawnmower.'

One evening he went to mow and the mower was gone out of the shed! And there was another lock on it! WTF? We called the cops and reported it.

Neighbour had come when we were out, cut the lock off and replaced it with one of his own!

And he had to nerve to be affronted when we told him the thing had been lodged as stolen and we would now have to tell the cops the whole story.

Needless to say, once they paid him a little visit, he backed off with his borrowing requests.

LL was livid!

People try it on. '*NO*'.

ihatethecold Sat 20-Apr-13 16:01:06

These stories are unbelievable.
i need more to get me through the working day

Gerrof Sat 20-Apr-13 16:01:14

Jesus what is wrong with these cheeky fuckers!

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 16:05:59

Loads of threads on here from people being taken for mugs it's enough to put anyone off.

There was one years ago from a woman who loaned a mate £8000. Believe me, she never got it back and it was a lot of money to her.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Sat 20-Apr-13 16:08:38

In the days before she stopped talking to me, my sister would bring her kids round, eat the lunch I'd prepared, then wander off whilst I was clearing up and find a magazine to read. I'd be left washing up and entertaining two toddlers and a baby.

Weirdly, the same thing would happen if I went to her house. Me being polite, clearing up after lunch, her slinking off etc etc.

The occasions we arranged to meet up in a m & toddler group, she'd turn up an hour late, briefly introduce me to her mates, then sit chatting with them while I supervised the toddlers outside trying to stop her ds from thumping dd. Or we'd meet at a park, and by the time she turned up my kids had done everything and I was sick of the sight of the bloody swings were ready to leave.

Behind every cheeky bugger is a sucker who lets them away with it.
So true.

She cut me off when I stopped being a mug.

Gerrof Sat 20-Apr-13 16:12:32

There was a great thread on here which was very long, a young woman had bought a house and the overbearing next door neighbour was trying to force her to sell a covered passage which was part of her property for a very small amount. She got loads of advice on here to NOT give in to her, but the neighbour tried some quite shocking bullying tactics to try and grind the mumsnetter down. It all turned out all right in the end but that woman had a flaming cheek. Everyone on the thread was incensed. Like this one!

WeAreEternal Sat 20-Apr-13 16:18:34

I actually caught him trying to borrow my strimmer last weekend. I told him I didn't know where it was as I rarely use it (I'm lazy as pay someone to do my strimming) he said "its ok I borrowed it a few weeks ago so it's probably still where I left it"
I just said "you are not borrowing the strimmer"
He tried to argue but I just stood there glaring at him.

I put a lock on my shed last year because I got so pissed off with him borrowing things without asking.
He was very annoyed with the inconvenience of having to actually knock on the door to ask to borrow things, but he would still always try the shed first to see if it was unlocked before bothering to ask.

I haven't lent him anything (willingly) since October.

I let him go to the house because, well honestly, I got sick of him asking and coming over with new excuses.
His kids are nice and it turned out that as soon as he went home he started looking at flights and told his DW and DCs that I had invited him to use the house. His DW told me this, she also was under the impression that I has said they were free to use the house whenever they wanted.

Gerrof Sat 20-Apr-13 16:24:00

Why are you being so nice to him? Surely after the Mexico incident you don't need to speak to the cheeky twat. Go and throw clutch fluid all over his BMW. <unhinged>

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 16:24:11

'I let him go to the house because, well honestly, I got sick of him asking and coming over with new excuses'

Don't answer the door to him anymore! He comes over, say through the door, 'I don't want to see you anymore. You need to LEAVE or I'll call the police.'

Next time you find him on your property, call the police.

Who cares if his kids are nice? He's a dick.

zukiecat Sat 20-Apr-13 16:25:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontmindifIdo Sat 20-Apr-13 16:29:26

WeAreEternal - could you have a word with the DW?

But I think next time he asks you have to be blunt say, "after you staying in our house without bothering to ask, we will never lend you anything again, if you take things without askig because we've left the shed unlocked, I will call the police. Do you have no shame?"

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 16:30:12

Zukie, what your so-called friend did is criminal. I would file my own report about her impersonating you to avoid possible prosecution and have NO hesitation with filing charges or helping the police prosecute her if need be.

Geroff, yy, 'cheeky' fucks are actually usually bullying fucks. This neighbour went spare about the whole lawnmower thing. 'I was just trying to borrow it!' Even with the cops until they told him to stop arguing with them. He came by, 'You should have known it was just me.' I said, 'Even if we did, why the FUCK should you take our landlord's property when he said no and we are responsible for it whilst he's away? You're not worth 2p to me much less £400. I find you here again I'll just ring up the coppers.'

When DD was a matter of weeks old, MIL invited herself and husband over to stay WITH us for....10 days. We live in a small 3 bedroom terrace. Most people know the etiquette for visiting knackered parents and newborns, it's in, cuppa, then piss off home. Well no, I had to prep the house for a royal visit. I don't know why they didn't opt for a hotel. They are both retired and very comfortably-off.

I'd had an horrific c-section so was still in a lot of pain at this point, not to mention exhausted as DH was back at work. So it was just me, MIL and MIL's husband in the house all day...grim.

Anyway one day I told them the health visitor was coming, they said they'd make themselves scarce for the morning...though not before asking me "are you going to clean this place up?" confused. I was mortified. My house was not dirty, simply slightly messy with wipes, presents that hadn't been put away yet.

fuzzpig Sat 20-Apr-13 16:38:57

I don't think I will ever retrieve my jaw from the floor after reading the Mexico story shock

zukiecat Sat 20-Apr-13 16:39:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 16:41:49

' I don't know why they didn't opt for a hotel. '

Because you and your DH didn't tell them NO, you are not staying here, you are getting a hotel.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sat 20-Apr-13 16:48:18

I don't think I will ever retrieve my jaw from the floor after reading the Mexico story.

Me neither. Every time I hear anything to do with Mexico from now on (frequently since I pretty much live on fajitas and margharitas) my jaw will drop from the memory of the infamous mumsnet Mexican house theft story.


Cerisier Sat 20-Apr-13 16:50:37

I vote winner Mexican House, second stealth bridesmaid and third the poor baby mugged for his car seat. Goodness there was stiff competition though.

bran Sat 20-Apr-13 16:52:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ihearsounds Sat 20-Apr-13 16:55:41

Can some of you pm me your contact details?
I could do with a holiday in Mexico. Will need to borrow some cash, for spending money. Have a hectic couple of weeks coming up, so need my own personal driver, which reminds me, will need more money towards petrol bars of chocolate. Oh and I have a couple of odd jobs that need doing around the house, which I am skint, but shouldn't be a problem. grin

roundtable Sat 20-Apr-13 17:02:56

My god, I am flabbergasted by the gall of some people.

I went to university with a girl and we shared a house with her. Her parents kindly agreed to be guaranteers as they were wealthy but we always paid our rent on time and in full so they never needed to intervene. Due to this she was the min name on the rental agreement. During the year there'd been incidents but they involved other people and I was too busy working every spare hour in order to pay the rent so I didn't take much notice.

At the end of the year, the deposit went back to her as she was the main name. Numerous phone calls and emails to her, most which were ignored and no deposit received back. In the end one of my housemates managed to contact her parents who assured the money would be back to us pronto and to their credit it was.

She'd clearly spent it. She would run up her credit card constantly and then ring mum and dad to pay it off. I think because money had no value to her she couldn't understand why others might need it.

This story's crap though in comparison to the Mexico home story. I can't believe their cheek, it's almost like some slapstick comedy film. How rude!

HazleNutt Sat 20-Apr-13 17:03:42

Wow the Mexican story takes the cake. If he claims he thought it's ok, then its quite odd that this was never mentioned during a random conversation.
-oh you're back from holidays, where did you go?
- why, to your place, of course..

roundtable Sat 20-Apr-13 17:04:12

Expat have you ever considered a career as a life coach? grin

Euphemia Sat 20-Apr-13 17:04:29

I pretty much live on fajitas and margharitas

I will be coming to live with you next week. I will have the largest bedroom and the fluffiest pillows. Please arrange to collect me at 9am on Monday.

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 17:13:13

'Expat have you ever considered a career as a life coach?'

It's simple, just ask yourself if you would behave in such a way. If the answer is no, then why accept it off others?

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 17:24:43

Would you bully people, steal (because that's what it is) their money, their time, their property without a second thought, impersonate them, use them? No? Then don't accept it from others. If your first thought is to hesitate or, 'That's cheeky/cheap/tight/arsey,' then it is. Cheeky fucks prey upon people wanting to 'be nice'. Well, they aren't nice people. You give such people an inch and they will take a mile. And you don't have to be rude or confrontational (I can count on one hand the number of times I've had to use 'fuck' on one hand and have plenty of fingers left). Just firm and consistent. Even if you consented at first, you have the right to change your mind when it comes to your time, money, goods, property, etc.

'No, that doesn't work for me.' 'Why not?' 'Because no.' The more they argue, the more they show themselves up for a bullying tosser.

'But you said yes already!' 'I changed my mind.' 'But . . . ' 'I never signed a contract. I changed my mind. No.'

ErrorError Sat 20-Apr-13 17:38:51

My Uncle (hereafter known as Uncle Knobhead!) is the biggest cheeky fucker I know. When My Grandad died, (his and my Dad's dad), a small inheritance was left to share between the 2 brothers and my Aunt. Uncle Knobhead pleaded poverty and asked to hang on to all 3 shares for a bit as he was struggling to pay off a loan. Aunt and Dad didn't really have much choice as Uncle K for some unknown reason was made executor of the will. We never saw a penny of this and not long after, he took his whole family on a very expensive holiday.

A few years later, my Mum's brother died, and being single with no children, his house was sold and the profits shared between my Mum and her sister. Uncle Knobhead got news of the windfall and once again pleaded poverty, even though he'd just bought a new landrover and a boat. He thought my parents would willingly hand over a couple of grand, but they were wise to him after the inheritance incident.

His son receives disability living allowance, but because everyone knows his terrible track record with money, he is legally not allowed anywhere near it, but it doesn't stop him trying to convince my cousin to use his money to buy luxuries (which Uncle Knobhead would 'borrow')

I had another friend who used to come round to my house and help herself to whatever was in the fridge and cupboards without asking. After one night out I was horrifically hungover. She turned up at 7 in the morning and made herself a bacon sandwich! I was too ill to protest. Who uses a whole pack of bacon for one sandwich, and doesn't even offer tho host any! The gall of it! That was just the tip of the iceberg with her though, I'd get really angry if I told more of her stories!

Mexican house intruder wins! He'd still be doing it if the real guests hadn't unexpectedly turned up! Imagining the look of horror on gooseberry lady's face when she discovers the bush has been picked clean, by its owners!

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sat 20-Apr-13 17:49:26

That was just the tip of the iceberg with her though, I'd get really angry if I told more of her stories!

Oh, please tell us!!!!


You can't tease us like that and then feck off - is not allowed!!


tigerlilygrr Sat 20-Apr-13 17:49:41

Yes the Mexican house story is brilliant ... Brilliant ... But ROAR at the stealth bridesmaid! This has got to go in classics!

SofaKing Sat 20-Apr-13 17:51:22

Some of these stories are shocking. I can understand not standing up to these people because you are just flabbergasted at their cheek!

When dh and I were students, a friend suggested her dm would buy her a flat, and we could rent a room. We agreed, and she bought a flat with a second bedroom so small, it had to be measured to ensure she could fit a double bed. She had the much larger bedroom to herself, and tried to persuade dh and I to share the small room and pay 250 a month- about 50 more than the going rate for a room at the time, and enough to entirely pay her mortgage.

This became apparent after we had (stupidly) paid first month rent and deposit, so we stayed for a month and then said we were leaving. She just said 'But who will pay for the flat?'
We didn't get our deposit back either.
She used to ask me why she didn't have more friends - I feel better qualified to enlighten her on that now!

cocolepew Sat 20-Apr-13 17:55:43

The Mexican house story! shock.
Not only would I never be talking to him again but I would have informed the police!

You need an airgun.

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 18:00:17

'I can understand not standing up to these people because you are just flabbergasted at their cheek!'

See, I don't get that. If anything I'd be like, 'Oi, what the FUCK?!' instead of, 'No,' or 'Please don't do that.'

Like the pizza snatchers. I'd snatch the slice right back and have done. 'Oi! I don't have any more money and we're starving! Go buy your own!'

Because you notice something, it's rarely people who are truly skint who behave like this, but cheap mo' fo's who are con artists in sheep's clothing.

Euphemia Sat 20-Apr-13 18:14:05

Tiger I've nominated it! Definite classic thread!

Roseformeplease Sat 20-Apr-13 18:18:58

We used to run an hotel in a small village where we knew everyone. My husband was the chef. He came down one morning to find the fridge not as he had left it the night before.

Someone in the village had decided to have a last minute dinner party and had taken 6 starters, main courses and puddings, all things home made by us and ready for the lunchtime menu. (King Prawns, Seafood Lasagne and Lemon Tart). They took just enough for their dinner, cream, some glasses and cutlery. They were somewhat put out when they were charged nearly full price for the lot and barred until it was paid. And we couldn't lock the kitchen (used by staff) and they did it without being challenged.

Their excuse was -we didn't have time to cook nd we were too drunk to drive to the shops.

CookieLady Sat 20-Apr-13 18:20:03

My sil borrowed money to put down on a deposit on flat last year from DH. Still hasn't paid it back. Pleads poverty but has kitted out the place with lovely items. hmm She sees DH as a soft touch. It's not the first time she's done this. BUT I've told DH it had better be the last! angry

ErrorError Sat 20-Apr-13 18:24:52

I'm off to the theatre with parent's now but will return with more stories of the bacon sandwich snatcher!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 20-Apr-13 18:27:15

FILS neighbour...who said "Don't you ever cook?" as DH was making the dinner...I had a three day old baby in my arms! Twat.

RogueRebel Sat 20-Apr-13 18:28:54

Mexican house wins hands down!

I'm very close to my family and nearly every Sunday we all go to my mums for lunch 9 of us in total. My friend lost her mum 6years ago and likes to be center of attention, (fakes illness, abuse, all sorts) my mum has taken pity on her several times (knows she's lying)and has felt the need to invite her if we mention Sunday lunch while she is within earshot. Everytime she comes she is first to grab a chair, has seconds and thirds then proceeds to fall asleep for several hours on the sofa only waking up when more food is offered at dinner.

last new years eve I invited her over for a quiet meal as I don't drink alcohol and have two young children. some how it escalated to her brother his friends and his friends parents coming with a fireworks show. I'd only moved in a month before so I was still a bit messy as the previous tenant had left all her broken and smoke ridden furniture and the front garden was full waiting for a van trip, clearly not house party suitable and I was very embarrassed by it.

it wasn't until I over heard her brother on the phone to their nan explaining, he and his sis "my friend" were having their new years eve party at my house because it was bigger. that I realised I was being made a mug of and told them I couldn't afford a full on party, they offered to buy the food and drink but in the end after several long conversations where they couldn't grasp the concept that I didn't want a party it was just ment to be a quiet meal.
I actually had to lie and say me and the kids had a tummy bug before they agreed not to hold the party at mine.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 20-Apr-13 18:37:06

My neighbour used to come in and eat food that was cooking on the stove. She'd stand and chat and "just taste" the food and then keep frigging eating it! I was a student and so was she....I eventually said "Er do you mind not eating all my food? Put the fork down and bugger off!"

it was as if she thought it didn't count somehow as it was on the stove!

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sat 20-Apr-13 18:51:32

The worst bit IMO of the Mexico story was the ending:
"We haven't spoken since, unless he wants to borrow something."
The utter cheek of the man

CheerfulYank Sat 20-Apr-13 19:36:54

Cannot believe Mexican vacation man! What a nut! shock

Is he from another culture where things are more...shared, OE something? <grasping at straws>

theboutiquemummy Sat 20-Apr-13 19:54:56

That Mexican guy is a lunatic I bet he got the shock of his life being turfed out on ear like x funny as !

I'd go rooting through his shed n borrow stuff while he was out x

YouDontWinFriendsWithSalad Sat 20-Apr-13 20:05:01


shock shock

That one REALLY takes the biscuit! Unbelievable!

Ohwooisme Sat 20-Apr-13 20:08:00

Some of these are crazy but the Mexico holiday house wins without a doubt. I am open mouthed in shock.

StuffezLaYoni Sat 20-Apr-13 20:18:50

Where I used to live I had a neighbour who would "pop over" at wine o clock and help herself to a healthy glass. One evening she saw the venison stew I'd just made and stood there picking chunks of venison out, eating it off her fingers them dipping them back in. Why the fuck didn't I say anything?

On my last night before I moved away, her husband gave her twenty quid and told her to "take stuffez out for a drink." Well the cheeky cow pocketed the twenty quid and told me she would come over and bring wine. She came over with a bottle containing about an inch of GINGER wine and some soda water and proceeded to share it between us. Was not impressed.

cocolepew Sat 20-Apr-13 20:18:51

I bet the Mexican house stealers wife knew something was amiss. Surely if you were staying in your neighbours house, 6 or 7 times, you would bring round a thank you gift or at least mention it?!

Loveiswhereitfalls Sat 20-Apr-13 20:37:21

I had a friend would invite me and my DD round for coffee and to play ,shortly after her mum would ring and she would disappear for an hour or so ( whilst I looked after her DC x2 ) and then come back apologise about poor DM who was having terrible problems etc.

This happened frequently and one day she got call from Poor DMhmmand she disappeared upstairs . This time she was gone ages so I went up to check she was ok and found her asleep in bed shock.
Yep she was using me to look after her dc so she could sleep.

She also when on a night out with several friends would go to the cinema and we would have a meal afterwards . She would say she had eaten already and order a drink.She would then proceed to try everyones food,have a slice of someones pizza, share a dessert etchmm and then when the bill came say - "I only had a drink" grrrrrr
She wasnt struggling to get by at all - fancy handbags etc hmm

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 20:51:13

I'm seeing a pattern here! grin

Behind every cheeky bugger stands a sucker.

Case in point:
'She would say she had eaten already and order a drink.She would then proceed to try everyones food,have a slice of someones pizza, share a dessert etc and then when the bill came say - "I only had a drink" grrrrrr'

Back in the day, I was a comfortably-off, childfree professional who mingled with similar folk who enjoyed rock climbing and hiking. We also liked to go for meals afterwards.

There was one guy who was very comfortably-off and made no secret of it: a childfree by choice, single man who worked abroad often as a petroleum engineer. He was forever tittering at us 'mortgage monkeys' because of course, everyone can be mortgage-free by 35.

It soon became apparent how he did. He was one of those 'I only had a drink' types - no tax or tip, either - who asked to try out peoples' dinners.

He got away with it twice before everyone started telling him, 'Oi, Brett, you cheeky bastard! Go buy your own fecking dinner!'

Come bill time, when he tried to not pay tax or tip, another person called him out. 'I just had a drink.' 'Yep, and with tax and tip, that's $8. I have change for a ten,' and stuck his palm out.

He stopped trying to take the piss once he know no one would put up with it.

Euphemia Sat 20-Apr-13 20:51:44

It's a wonder some people can sleep at night! shock

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sat 20-Apr-13 20:54:06

It's a wonder some people can sleep at night!

Resting their heads on naice pillows in a lovely house in Mexico, clearly.


expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 20:56:05

I mean, think on it. I'd be totally embarrassed to go out to behave that way over and over. So why take that from others?

Loveiswhereitfalls Sat 20-Apr-13 21:07:04

To be fair Expat she got away with it twice before we started to decline invites involving her.
I didnt think I was a "sucker" when she pulled the sleeping stunt on me as I wouldnt in a million years have ever thought anyone would be so cheeky - I wouldnt do it so why would I expect anyone else to.

Catz1 Sat 20-Apr-13 21:11:15

I gave a few items of clothing (2 party dresses, coat and hat, pair converse) to friend at school for her DD.

A few weeks later she was all excited that some person had given her some stuff (all items i had given her) and she put them on eBay!! And made just over 50 quid! I just stood there like a muppet and said nothing blush.

Fair to say she never got anything from me again, and friendship fizzled out too!

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 21:11:52

K, fair enough, Love, I'd never have thought to do that, either.

I wonder if anyone ever told her they stopped asking her to go with them because she is a cheapskate.

Cheapskates make my blood boil because I haven't met a one yet who is actually poverty-stricken, skint or having a really bad patch.

Loveiswhereitfalls Sat 20-Apr-13 21:15:50

I agree Expat cheapskates make me cringe - my BIL would sell his granny for a fiver -meh

TidyDancer Sat 20-Apr-13 21:21:38

Fuck me. The Mexican house thief wins hands down. I have a cheeky as fuck relative, but nothing on that level!

I say again, fuck me. I am stunned.

Panzee Sat 20-Apr-13 21:25:13

These stories are amazing. It's the fact they get so annoyed when called on their behaviour that gets me. Nobody just shrugs and says well it was worth an ask, they get offended. grin

WishIdbeenatigermum Sat 20-Apr-13 21:32:00

Not Mexican house bad, but I couldn't believe Sil's brass neck.
All cousins, 3 of mine and 2 of hers went to the same primary. We went overseas for 8 months and rather than put their v expensive uniforms in storage and then have to sort out getting it again in a hurry I left it all at MIL's I might have mentioned it to sil and told her she could use anything while we were away. Idiot that I am. As we were flying home, 2 days before term started, sil took it all.

LimeFlower Sat 20-Apr-13 21:54:17

FIL-where do I start...looking into our cupboards for stuff he apparently left behind(he hasn't lived here for the last 15 years),that's about 5 years after I asked him to shift his crap belongings.He didn't have time or space (neither did I hence the request),he eventually came to collect it after I threatened to dump it on his doorstep.
Helped himself to some ornaments from our house.I hate ornaments but asking for them instead of taking them would be nice.
Dumped his rubbish at our place -he and his wife bought a new duvet and gave us the old one "for the dog".Yes,medium size dog needs king size duvet.hmm
I'm not going to mention their digs at us,so far I managed to ignore them but they boil my piss

Ex friend no.1-stingy like hell was always asking when I was going to visit her.When I pointed out(after numerous visits) that it's exactly the same distance to me as it is to hers she told me that "fuel is soooo expensive".Yeah,and my car is running on the fecking tap water.Oh,and being childless person (at the time)leaves me with all the time in the world to run with her errands(even after 12 hrs at work).

Ex friend no.2-borrowed some money.When I asked for it she said "I thought you gave it to me.Complained about being skint all the time.Fair enough,she's SAHM and her DP earned NMW.After her complaing how hardly done she was-one DC without winter jacket and the other without shoes because she couldn't afford it,I took her shopping(paid by me).Next week she called me to say her DP was going to visit his parents overseas and she gave him 300 quids to buy her some fags in duty free shop.

I haven't got many friends now.sad

Mexican house thief has had me snorting with laughter and indignation! I wish I know someone who owned a house in florida that I could steal... ;)

My original 'smoking at my house' story looks lame now compared to some of these!

I've remembered a cheeky BIL that I have... phoned up DH and asked to
borrow £500 - he earns loads more than we do according to his constant boasting so we were confused as to why he would need it. He refused to tell us. He also has a habit of borrowing money from his parents and never paying them back so funnily enough we were not too keen to give him the money and very reluctant to do so without a decent explanation as to why. When DH refused, BIL just said 'well, thanks for nothing' and hung up...
Again, kind of lame compared to stealing a holiday home or a bush full of gooseberries!

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Sat 20-Apr-13 22:05:53

Am in shock at Mexican holiday house. And YY to whoever said the DW must have been in the know. If she thought you knew, there should have been thank you cards and presents each time.

I don't have anything on the scale of some of these. One Christmas though, we were at PIL for lunch. There were a number of people there, and PIL house is quite small and not very many chairs, and of the chairs that were there, varying degrees of sturdiness. There were 2 toddlers and they do have a toddler table, and it was clear that all the adults could sit down if the toddlers sat there. So SIL sits her DD down on the proper chair very quickly and then doesn't move her, even when our mutual MIL can't sit at the table for the meal. We were all shock and now reading expat's comments, I'm pissed off with myself for not saying anything. Mind you, this is the woman who, on another family occasion where I didn't eat immediately due to feeding newborn DD, hurried to take the last roast potatoes for her third helping as I announced I was finally able to come and have lunch. angry

Loveiswhereitfalls Sat 20-Apr-13 22:07:10

Tidy !
Your takeaway thread was one of my faves - have namechanged since then.

My friend used to pop over to mine to have a poo when we were younger. Then she'd spray my expensive perfume to cover up the smell afterwards - she once used half a bottle! shock

She used to come because she was living with her boyfriend and didn't want him to know she pooed?!?! grin

Euphemia Sat 20-Apr-13 22:15:48

MrsRajeshKoothrappali grin

TidyDancer Sat 20-Apr-13 22:15:52

<preen at being remembered>

That cheeky fecker is still the same, Loveis. I stupidly loaned her my car when she said she was desperate one week. She wasn't desperate, and despite saying otherwise, she returned the car with half a tank of petrol less than when she borrowed it, and landed me with a £150 excess repair bill for a problem she had caused. Supposedly, as I earn more money than her, I can pay for her mistakes. And petrol apparently. She has never apologised or said thank you for the loan.

Liara Sat 20-Apr-13 22:25:46

We live in a house in the middle of nowhere, on a popular hiking route.

One day a group of about 20 Germans wander into our garden. We go out to meet them, politely inquiring what tf they wanted. They did not speak English, but we eventually understood through gestures that they wanted to come and have their picnic inside the house, because it looked like it was going to rain.

We gestured to them to fuck off, much to their evident annoyance, so they settled to have their picnic under the tree as loudly as they could just outside our gate (again, we live in the middle of nowhere, there are literally 2km of fields all round where they could have picnicked).

I had the last laugh when about half an hour later, just after they had cleared out of our tree the heavens opened and they would have gotten the most enormous drenching you can possibly imagine.

expatinscotland Sat 20-Apr-13 22:31:26

There is NO way I would loan out my car except to PILs, my folks or my sister/BIL. One time and one time only, SIL asked if her partner could borrow it 'for a week'. WTF? DH can be a mug. Until I reminded him, 'Did X (the partner) ever resit his test?' (we knew he'd been banned), you'd better check your insurance.

That put payed to that. They never asked again.

Loveiswhereitfalls Sat 20-Apr-13 22:34:31

we gestured at them to fuck off grin

Tidy the suspense waiting for your update when she found out she wasnt getting the takeaway she demanded but a BBQ instead was excruciatingly good !

FatherSpodoKomodo Sat 20-Apr-13 22:50:00

DH's cousin once phoned at 11pm. It was an emergency plumbing problem, could he come round right now and sort it?

Their swimming pool heater wasn't working.

DH said no, and he'd see them the next day.

BIL borrowed a lot of money off us, and we've never seen it since. We are really struggling for money and he is constantly jetting off around Europe with whichever woman he is dating, and his son has a room full of consoles, 3DTV, ipads/iphones etc. And he still borrows money off other members of the family who are stupid enough to give it to him. DH gave him the money when I was in hospital having DS, so I wasn't around to sort out repayments/say no etc. Still not quite forgiven him for that.

I was chatting to my mum on the phone once when out of the blue she asked me for my post code. I asked her why she needed it, and she said she was putting me down as a guarantor for a loan!! Err, no way! She is notoriously bad with money. She got in a right huff when I refused. I'm so glad she didn't know my post code, or that would have been a shock when I'd had to pay the loan back after she inevitably got into difficulties!

Luckily I've chosen friends who are lovely, so don't have any cheeky friend stories!

Einsty Sat 20-Apr-13 23:04:11

Once went on holiday with a sour flat mate. She asked me to pay $2 for a share of the petrol to the airport. Which would have been fine-ish if she had not taken it upon herself to grab the two expensive travel guides I had bought for us to use and write in them. We were off to India and she spent the entire trip bitching and moaning about the beggars ... And then arranged a cash transfer of $1000 in the last days so she c

Einsty Sat 20-Apr-13 23:05:49

Once went on holiday with a arsey flat mate. She asked me to pay $2 for a share of the petrol to the airport. Which would have been fine-ish if she had not taken it upon herself to grab the two expensive travel guides I had bought for us to use and write in them. No offer to contribute. We were off to India and she spent the entire trip bitching and moaning about the beggars ... And then arranged a cash transfer of $1000 in the last days so she could buy fabric for her hobby. Selfish, sour cah.

Einsty Sat 20-Apr-13 23:06:18

Sorry for double post

picnicbasketcase Sat 20-Apr-13 23:12:00

Wow, I thought gooseberry lady was the ultimate cheeky fucker, but the NDN Mexican house thief has left me stunned. Unbelievable.

ErrorError Sat 20-Apr-13 23:18:51

Okay a few more tales from the bacon snatcher:

Went on holiday with this woman with a few other friends - mistake! We shared a room and there was this big double bed and a tiny rickety camp cot. I volunteered to sleep on the camp cot the first week if we switched for the second, she agreed. After 1st week I asked about the beds again but she got shifty and said it was too much hassle to change over now. Annoyingly, she spent a good portion of every night moaning about how uncomfortable the bed was! Take my death trap then you cow.

She didn't want to pay for half of the hotel's rate for daily air conditioning (and I couldn't afford the whole rate myself), so we left the balcony door open when we were in the room, but at night she complained about the noise and bugs so we sweltered in 40 degree heat because of her stinginess.

Same holiday, all inclusive. All sat by the pool, and whenever one of us got up to get a drink from the pool bar we politely offered to get the others something. She was the first to request drinks ("oh get me 2, one for later") but when she went to the bar she never offered (a minor irritation you may think, but it was constant, we all noticed.) Next time I went up I got a drink in either hand and as I walked into her view, cheerfully took a sip from both glasses with 2 straws. 5 mins later she got up huffily saying "I suppose I'll get a drink then!" 1-0 ErrorError!

She also tried to weasel out of paying when I reminded everyone that we owed one friend some Euros for the hotel transfer. The rest of us sat calculating while she remained totally silent and pretended to be engrossed on her phone. I still don't know if she paid.

Other things include:

Borrowing a massive stack of books from me and never returning them, found out later she had lent them to someone else and they hadn't returned them to her.

Overstaying her welcome so many times that she knew when tea time was, and following that, turned up at teatime knowing she'd be offered some (am way too polite) then fucking off afterwards. When I finally cottoned on I was being used as a restaurant, she turned up one day and I purposefully didn't have tea ready or any inclination of preparing anything. She eventually left at 11pm and I was starving but I was finally getting through. I randomised teatime after that.

Asked to come and visit my new kittens, she lived not far away so said she would walk down. I said fine. She brought her dog, a v hyperactive terrier! I didn't want it frightening my kittens but she insisted it would be fine. She was already coming in the porch so I had to hastily round up my kittens into another room. I should have put my foot down but was put on the spot and didn't know how else to react.

On a night out, mysteriously disappeared before her round was due, came back and when I said it was her turn, she "thought we weren't doing rounds", even though 2 others of us had already done ours. She then waited til near then end of the night when most people had gone home, bought 1 of the group a drink. a £1.50 shot.

That's not even half of it but I don't want to hijack the thread. Still mostly peeved about the bacon thievery though! Phew that was cathartic! grin

bonnieslilsister Sun 21-Apr-13 00:05:23

Love this thread!

My MIL came to visit when we were just back from honeymoon. I didn't know her very well in those days. She randomly produced a wall paper boarder from her bag and asked us if we liked it.

When she had left and it was night time we went up to the top floor to bed and the boarder was pasted on the wall in the corridor!

I can't believe it was never mentioned by us to her ever. I have grown up a lot since then and anyway I'm divorced from that mad family grin

You know what, I thought the OPs story was the worst of the worst - then I read Mexican house thief story! Wow - I never knew people could be such shitbags.

I can't think of any more annoying than my friend in high school constantly borrowing clothes and returning them weeks later having clearing been worn to death and never washed. She was a bit of a minger though.

Dhs friend came to visit us in Norway with his children. We had a miniholiday staying in rented apartments for a skiing weekend, which we paid for as they were our guests. We paid for evening out eating pizza, and lunch during skiing the following day. They borrowed our car for the duration and caused damage worth £600 which he did not feel right about chipping in for, as "it was an old car" (sure, but the undercarriage would not have been ripped off had he not decided going offroading with it!) I had borrowed mums car for us. At home, I did all the shopping and all the cooking. When they left he told me "Btw, I bought a frozen pizza the other day, and I am leaving it in the freezer, it was £3, I hope you dont find me cheeky to ask you for cash to cover it". shock

I did manage to say "Oh good, you want to do this now? I have the receipts for all the groceries the last two weeks right here ...."

Einsty Sun 21-Apr-13 00:25:57

Jesus H Christ. I merrily popped in to recount one memory of miserable holiday with tightwad without reading full thread. Have had to massively revise my own definition of cheekiness, to take into account stealth bridesmaids and Mexican house thieves. I have not lived.

Crocodilehunter Sun 21-Apr-13 02:07:55

I have loads of these but most recent was Mother's Day it was my first ever Mother's Day as a mum, my DP bought me some lovely cupcakes, we were getting ready to do the rounds to the GMs and DP says "we're taking some of these round for my mum aren't we, I feel really bad we haven't got her anything"
We got nothing for my DM either due to new baby, new house, maternity pay etc the bastard I would have shared anyway but that's not the point the fucking fucker
When I mentioned it he just said 'oh get over it' and laughed, like i said the fucking fucker angry grin

TidyDancer Sun 21-Apr-13 07:14:11

Quint, what did he say about that?! What a freeloader!

Crocodilehunter - I'm not seeing the cheekiness in your story. What am I missing?

TidyDancer Sun 21-Apr-13 07:17:45

On the subject of holiday though, I went away quite recently with a friend for a short break, and she paid for nothing food wise while we were there. Took herself off on day trips that I couldn't afford (because I was paying for our food, you selfish cow!). We had deliberately set ourselves a budget for the break, and she evidently decided that I could fund her essentials so she could go do fun stuff without going outside of budget. She does have form for this, but that stunned me full stop. She still has not offered to pay. I limit my time around her now.

onefewernow Sun 21-Apr-13 08:17:02

My ex nanny had asked me for a couple of boxes of Brio when she became pregnant. I said probably, Ds would have grown out if it by then.

She moved house to another town and rang one day to visit " if would be lovely to see the kids etc".

On the day, she arrived, and with her H, and the children had made done cakes for her visit. I let them in, and went to the kitchen to make drinks. When I got back to the room we used as a playroom, she had just finished emptying the second box into a bin liner. She said " oh, I won't stop for a drink thanks, we are all over town busy today, "

She handed her H the bag, headed for the door, and was gone in less than five minutes!

onefewernow Sun 21-Apr-13 08:22:34

Another one.

A neighbours childminder suddenly stopped work and she asked if ours would help her out after school a couple of days a week. Her daughter was friends with our dd so we said yes. She used us for two whole terms, and never paid a penny towards it, or even got our nanny or us a card as thank you. During the summer holiday, I was having a planned Caesarian so asked her if she would have our daughter from 8-4 so H could attend. She refused on the basis that " she wasn't clear what her plans were yet over the summer, as they intended to take a lot of day trips".

EccentricElastic Sun 21-Apr-13 08:59:40

Mine happened about 30 years ago, but still pops into my head now and again if I need reminding of how to say no to anyone.

A friend and myself booked a seaside cottage for a weeks break. We were both single parents each of a young boy -hers was 6, mine 9 Yo at the time.
I drove us all the way there which made me quite tired, so the next day I was looking forward to a lazy day. but no, she sulked because SHE wanted to go off for the day, so even though my legs were killing me and i didn't feel too good but couldn't quite put my finger on it, I got back in the driving seat and out we went (I didn't realise at that time I was suffering from fibromyalgia as I hadn't been diagnosed then). Anyway, long day out, early to bed for me. Next morning, woke to see my face looking rather lopsided and stranger than usual (found out later I'd had a mild stroke) and had a grotty headache, but when I mentioned this I just got 'oh, have some coffee you'll be ok....there's a lovely place I want to go to today', so again I had to drive (she couldn't).
Following day, I put my foot down and insisted on a lazy day for me - the boys were happy on the beach where we could see them - so she went off for another sulk (after telling me that I was a pain, and just another nail in her coffin that she could do without). Three hours later her boyfriend turned up (she'd phoned him with a tale of woe) and before I could stop her they went off for the day, leaving her son with me.
They rolled back in at around midnight - obviously merry with alcohol - and went to bed. Soon the cottage was filled first with low groans, rising to ecstatic shrieks etc - you know the thing dontcha! Eventually (5am) I'd had enough....went and knocked on the door and said I was making a cuppa, would they like one to help them sleep? The door was flung open by her, and I was given a mouthful of abuse as to my inconsideration and rudeness, before being slammed back in my face!
By 7.30 am the boys were up full of energy, I was reeling from tiredness, and there was no sign of myf or her bf. So took the boys out after breakfast, came back a couple of hours later, still no sign. As I was getting lunch ready, the unmistakable groaning and squealing was permeating the air once more........

I sat the boys on the patio to eat their lunch ......and then lost it!!!!!

I grabbed a couple of buckets from under the sink, filled them with cold water, walked straight into my friends room and threw both buckets of icy cold water over the pair of them (this was pre politically correct times, you could do things like that then without being shot for it). Whilst they were recovering from that, I grabbed all her stuff, threw it out of the cottage....and them after it!

Ten minutes later a rather bedraggled and now ex friend banged on the door, said she was leaving, and demanded half the money for the cost of the cottage back. She didn't get it though and went off moaning about what a mess she looked, and who was going to look after her son , etc, wtc, etc!!!!

I've never seen her since!!!!

Euphemia Sun 21-Apr-13 09:07:36

threw both buckets of icy cold water over the pair of them


EccentricElastic that is fantastic! Good for you. grin

TidayDancer He decided that on second thoughts, he was taking his frozen pizza with him, on an 8 hour long train ride.....

fuzzpig Sun 21-Apr-13 09:36:41

I'm being cheeky here (grin) but TidyDancer do you remember the title of the BBQ/takeaway thread? I'd love to read it!

SomethingAboutNothing Sun 21-Apr-13 09:53:29

Oooh, I had a stealth flower girl! Not quite as cheeky as the bridesmaid story but still pretty cheeky in my book!

DH's two nieces on his DM's side were to be flower girls, we had brought them white dresses and baskets with petals for them to sprinkle as they walked down the aisle. On the day of the wedding I arrived at the venue and counted three flower girls in white dresses - DH's niece from his DF's side of the family, who we barely know (DFIL's previous marriage), and they don't make much effort at all with the family, had been dressed in a monsoon flower girls dress and joined the other two to walk down the aisle.

I didn't want to make a scene so just let her - it was clearly her pushy mum who had decided she was going to be part of the day. The worst bit was - the little girl hadn't even been invited to the wedding in the first place!

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 21-Apr-13 09:59:35

Every time I read this it gets worse
Please tell me you're all makingthem up now to try to outdo each other?
No? There really are people this cheeky in the world!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 21-Apr-13 10:09:44

Elastic what a cow she was! Poor you with your stroke! Unbelievable! Did you ever have it out with her?

cocolepew Sun 21-Apr-13 10:36:54

<applauds elastic>

hollyisalovelyname Sun 21-Apr-13 10:38:59

My friend's husband was recently made redundant. His 'mate' asked him for a 'loan' of twelve thousand pounds 'seeing as he has some money to spare'. The mate has lived the high life- massive mortgage he can't afford now, porsche, convertible bmw etc, exotic (and many) holidays with his very extravagant wife. My friend's dh gave him eight thousand pounds as a loan but doesn't t expect to get it back. My friend is livid as her dh still hasn't got a new job and money is very very tight. The 'mate' didn't socialise much with her dh when he was living the high life and 'mates' wife certainly didn't !shock- is this a gobsmacked looking emocion?

Ledkr Sun 21-Apr-13 10:44:49

Old story but when pil come to visit they seem to become obsessed with food and drink and literally eat us out if house and home (think three bowls of cereal and toast later)
They never even buy a pint if milk.
When we go to them there are very basic rations.
No treats even for the children and small portions if very basic food with no side dishes.
I now refuse to go and extend then the same austere menu when they come here.
They also like to stay as long as humanly possible.
So for example a weekend visit will mean they are sat here still at 7 on a Sunday despite a three hour drive and work on Monday.
Very strange.

Ledkr Sun 21-Apr-13 10:46:20

Mil once came up and woke me from my illness induced sleep to ask me to make them toast as dh was bathing dds shock

Ledkr Sun 21-Apr-13 10:46:36

I didn't

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 21-Apr-13 10:56:24

in fact shock doesn't even come close

tangerinefeathers Sun 21-Apr-13 10:59:20

*Like the pizza snatchers. I'd snatch the slice right back and have done. 'Oi! I don't have any more money and we're starving! Go buy your own!'

Because you notice something, it's rarely people who are truly skint who behave like this, but cheap mo' fo's who are con artists in sheep's clothing.*

Expat, I know

Believe me, the memory of that pizza margherita disappearing down that brat's mouth will piss me off until the day I die. And you know what? The brat's mother grew up in a massive family home, with a million dollar beach house and a third home in Perugia.

<wanders off to rock in corner>

ArthurCucumber Sun 21-Apr-13 11:27:55

Reading some of these with amazement. I have a few stories of my own but they would pale in comparison shock.

Genuine question, though. I have frequently been taken for a mug at the time, and am getting better at saying No, complete sentence, all the rest of it - when I notice that someone is taking the piss. The trouble is that quite frequently, I don't. I just go along with the way things are and it doesn't even occur to me that the person is doing this. I only work it out afterwards, sometimes a very long time afterwards when it's too late to do anything. I then end up simmering with resentment at them and anger with myself for being taken for a mug. So although advice that we should stand up for ourselves is useful, I think I'm a step behind that. I need to work out how to even recognise the times when you need to stand up for yourself. Does anybody else get that?

ArthurCucumber Sun 21-Apr-13 11:29:41

Like in some of the situations above - I'd just have gone along with it quite cheerfully, and then been bewildered at the end that it meant we now had no pizza, or whatever. I'd have assumed that gooseberry woman was indeed entitled to the fruit that I'd thought was mine, and that I had got it wrong. sad.

TidyDancer Sun 21-Apr-13 11:34:28


There you go, fuzzpig. Took me a while to hunt that down but was interesting to reread it!

DontmindifIdo Sun 21-Apr-13 11:44:29

DH would be more of a mug if I let him, when he was younger he'd fall for lots of sob stories and hand over cash, but is now very causious with most people. However, l did have to stop him giving up his share of an inheritance from his Great Aunt to his DB before BIL's wedding - the money would (and did) take a year off our mortgage - but BIL was saying to DH how he was struggling to pay for the wedding SIL wanted, and they wanted to buy a house and had no deposit saved. DH was recounting this to me and saying we didn't need the money, but DBIL did, it wasn't like we'd been expecting or earned this money, so wouldn't miss it etc.

Then I pointed out DH drives a second hand estate car, his DB at the time was driving a new sports car, SIL-to-be had over the previous year been given 2 handbags from BIL with a total value of about £4k. they had, over the previous 2 years, had 4 long haul holidays, and SIL had just walked out on a perfectly good job to set up her own business - which was making no money. Basically, I pointed out their lack of deposit and money for their dream wedding was down to choices they made, which was theirs to make, and I'd rather have a year less on the mortgage than subside the downsides of their choices.

He did come to his senses on that one. (although that was mainly because SIL turned into Bridezilla so he stopped thinking I was being mean and decided the wedding and wedding prep was bad enough without feeling we'd paid for it. I think if she hadn't he'd still feel bad about his DB's lack of funds and thinking I was heartless.)

In other ways, I hope he never stops being generous, but is getting better at telling the difference between those who do and don't deserve help.

Loveiswhereitfalls Sun 21-Apr-13 11:47:44

Brilliant Tidy
I might change my name back in honour of that thread and Id forgotton the tattoo one grin

TidyDancer Sun 21-Apr-13 11:50:22

Haha, I'm disappointed the tattoo thread disappeared actually.

DontmindifIdo Sun 21-Apr-13 11:55:04

Tidy - i remember htat! I was on in with a different name. Well done, do you have anything to do with her anymore?

hollyisalovelyname Sun 21-Apr-13 11:56:28

Don'tmindifido my friend's dh generous to others. Initially he was going to get her to write the cheque to his 'mate' so the mate would know she knew about the 'loan'. But he wrote the cheque- didn't want 'mate' to think she held the purse strings!!! Her dh didn't buy her 40 th birthday present or significant wedding anniversary present (when he had a job). She is bloody raging. Can't say i blame her.

NoRoomForMeInMyBed Sun 21-Apr-13 12:18:50

An old schoolfriend contacted me from abroad asking if she and her family could come and see us during their holiday in the UK. Me being too nice sayd yes it would be lovely to see them, what were their plans etc? She replies that money is tight and they dont want to do anything that costs anything so can they just stay with us for 3 days? (5 people 3 DCs) warningbells ringing all over by now, and I seem to remember her being tight even at uni)
Anyways I explain we have a tiny house, are in the middle of building work and cant provide much entertainment for 3 DCs at home as we have a baby. They still arrange to come.
From the minute thy arrive the husband complained about everything, -the kids didnt like our food, can we buy different bread, there is no TV in their room(!), and to top it all he kept talking about his recent payrise and the two wages he was enjoying from doing a little extra at work. Total prat. 3 days later DH and I are so drained we both wanted to cry. Our only consolation is that they were going on to stay with another friend, staying for a week.....
I still laugh at the husband helping himself to DS £££ organic weaning yoghurst in the mornings, even when I asked him not to. He just smiled and said they are nicer than those other ones. PRAT PRAT PRAT.
I never spoke to them again.

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 21-Apr-13 12:19:38

I think of anything, this thread has taught me we need video entry on some posters front doors. It's for your own good.

I must give proper fuck off vibes, no one asks me for anything.

TidyDancer Sun 21-Apr-13 12:25:23

Dontmind - yeah, I posted up thread about some issues we'd had when I stupidly loaned her my car. Since that though, I haven't really spoken to her.

It's hard dealing with people like that because they genuinely don't seem to have a conscience.

Fortunately, despite not wanting to speak with the selfish cow, she's over a barrel wrt her DC. She needs the free childcare so can't take the LO away from the family as revenge for us not playing ball. Took me a while to realise that, which is what prevented me from stopping contact before. So it's very very limited now, and I have no intention of changing that.

Sugarice Sun 21-Apr-13 12:25:39

This is a brilliant thread, I'm shocked that so many people are so scrounging and brass necked shock.

The mexican house dickhead takes my prize for sheer audacity.

Luckily I have nothing to add but keep them coming, it must be cathartic to share cheeky bastard stories! grin

McKayz Sun 21-Apr-13 12:30:40

I've just read your thread Tidy. Speechless

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 21-Apr-13 12:33:11

I loaned money (only a tenner but I was at uni) to a friend whose parents paid for everything, she repaid weeks later by throwing a ten pound note across a table at me in front of other people with a sneer on her face.

I worked and paid for everything myself. The people who saw it told me it showed me what she is really like.

If she reads this, I know all about the alcohol problems, cocaine fuelled threesome and weight gain. And it cheers me right up.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sun 21-Apr-13 12:51:26

Ooooo, the take away thread has reminded me of the day my 'friend' came round for dinner. I'd done a night shift the prevous night so was pretty knackered.

I decided to do a shepard's pie. Nice and easy and my shepard's pie is fecking awesome (not blowing my own trumpet, is just a fact). I use both regular and sweet potatoes, use lots of veg and put in a spoonful of sugar. I'm also very generous with the cheese.

Delicious, no?

No. She got in a massive grump because she wanted a roast dinner and refused to come round.

However one week when she was tired/skint she served up packet macaroni and baked potato <BOAK> I was notithing but polite about it.


fuzzpig Sun 21-Apr-13 13:09:49

Thanks for the link, tidy, I'm off to read it now!

fuzzpig Sun 21-Apr-13 13:11:11

MrsRaj, we use sweet potato in the shepherds pie mash too. 'Tis amazing! smile

Primrose123 Sun 21-Apr-13 13:35:07

Some of these are amazingly cheeky, but I think the Mexican holiday home is still the winner.

A long time ago, just after we were married, we wanted to go on a skiing holiday. We didn't have much money to spare so wanted to do it as cheaply as possible. We decided to book a self drive holiday as it was much cheaper than flying. We had met a couple who had moved to the area, and as the wife had never seen snow (they were both from Africa) we invited them to come too. The husband had an extremely well paid job - this is relevant.

After checking the brochure and working out prices, they decided to come. We agreed that we would share the petrol costs, although DH and I would do all the driving.

We filled the car up with petrol and set off. At the next petrol stop, DH filled up and went in to pay. I had been asleep, but was just waking up to hear the couple arguing quietly in the back seat. She was saying that they should go in and pay as it was their turn, he said he had no intention of paying for any petrol. It was a bit awkward to say anything so I kept quiet, but decided that I would remind him next time we filled up that we were sharing costs.

All went well until we got to the Swiss border. This is where it gets complicated. The other couple were from an African country, but the husband had Irish grandparents so he had a dual passport. The wife only had an African passport and had to pay a small amount beforehand to get a visa to travel into Switzerland. The husband told us he didn't have to do this as he was travelling on his Irish passport instead of his African one, although he had brought both with him. What he didn't tell us was that his Irish passport had expired, so he was travelling on the African passport with no visa. We had huge problems at the border, there were guards there with guns, and we didn't know if we would be allowed into the country. Eventually they let us in, and we drove to the hotel.

All in all, we had a good week. The wife was lovely - the husband was annoying. I have never met anyone so mean in my life. There were little things all week that got on our nerves, but we tried to ignore it.

We were all being careful with money, so just had one drink each night with our meal, and gave our room number. DH had a beer every night, I had a diet coke every night, the wife had a glass of wine every night, and the husband had a glass of tap water every night. (He made a big fuss of ordering 'tap water' every night).

At the end of the week, we were given our drinks bill. Ours was for 7 beers, 6 diet cokes, and a glass of wine. They had obviously switched one of my cokes with one of the glasses of wine, but we thought that it didn't matter, because there wasn't much difference in price, so we just paid it thinking they would do the same. However we found out later when checking out that we had to pay for one glass of coke. He had been given their bill, for 6 wines and a coke, and had told them to put the coke back on our bill but not to put the wine back on his! When we questioned him about this, he actually told me that I had had a glass of wine on the first night, and must have forgotten about it. This was very unlikely, as I don't like wine, and I was not impressed with him at all.

There were lots of other small incidents throughout the holiday, just petty meanness, and by the end we were very glad to get home.

Sorry, that turned out a bit long!

DontmindifIdo Sun 21-Apr-13 13:43:19

Holly, to be fair to DH, he's very generous with gifts for me and is (now) very sensible with money, he's also started noticing that while he's usually the first to the bar, who doesn't then go back to get a round in.

He's not as generous as he was with others when it comes to money, although is very generous with time and effort, which I like. He's also better at picking who'll he'll help (for example, he'd go round and fix one of my friend's broken tap at 5am, but then he knows she's done free childcare for us and has been a bit of a rock to me when I had a miscarriage; I found him recommending a good plumber to someone else who was more of a 'taker' when they appealed for yet more help...).

BibiBlocksberg Sun 21-Apr-13 13:53:41

My jaw has been firmly on the floor throughout the entire thread - unbelievable brassneckery!!!

Then I remembered a few classics of my own from recent months - (got it into my head to help a young (26 but looked 16) homeless guy and his dog who I found were sleeping round the back of my local supermarket in the middle of november.

Of course I realise this was entirely my choice and the following is therefore entirely self inflicted but it still makes my jaw drop on a daily basis smile

To cut a long story short both came to live with me while the weather was so bitter out with me thinking because he was so young and seemed 'normal' I might be able to help him back on his feet.

Well, I've never encountered entitlement like it before or since.

Among his complaints were:

I never bought any 'nice' snacky things for him to eat, the travel bed in the living room was far too uncomfortable, hurt his back and could he sleep in my bed instead shock

Thought it terribly unfair that I wouldn't act as full-time walker and caretaker to his dog.

Got very upset when I refused to hand him a medal for every small household task completed (I do EVERYTHING round here he'd go) errm, no Kevin you really don't smile

Got into a huff when informed that yes I would help him with an application for a passport but no I wouldn't be paying the fees needed,

When told during January that funds were very tight and he would have to contribute some of his benefit to buy groceries and food for the dog as I couldn't afford it all whined that he couldn't contribute as he had to buy new trainers and they HAD to be designer and cost at least £100

Moaned how unfair it was that he wasn't getting paid for his lunch breaks at work (got him a temp job in my office) generally acted very upset that no-one had yet made him CEO after a week and that he was being treated like a 'skivvy'

Offered me £15 for petrol to get to work and back and when I cheerily said 'thanks very much' whined how unfair it was that he was having to pay 'so much' money for petrol and I shouldn't be running such an expensive car. Claimed he'd been driving for years and knew I was trying to rip him off. When quizzed on this his extensive experience turned out to be in the area of joy riding cars only and got very pissy when I pointed out that stealing other peoples property and petrol was hardly the same.

In the end I couldn't take it anymore and told him to leave since living with me was making him so very unhappy it was probably for the best anyway.

Didn't expect undying gratitude but sheesh, a bit of consideration and the occasional thank you wouldn't have gone amiss.

On the other hand, I am now firmly cured of my 'rescue the waifs and strays of this world' attitude and much more protective of my own interests (after decades of letting myself be taken advantage of so he's done me a massive favour really smile

flootshoot Sun 21-Apr-13 14:00:54

My colleague's father came home from a trip abroad to find a man squatting in his flat (this was in the 70s BTW). Being terribly British he offered him some tea; the squatter was very apologetic and explained he thought the owner would be gone for longer hmm. They got on famously and ended up flat sharing for quite done time afterwards. grin

Cheeky yes. But with a happy ending.

AnnaBegins Sun 21-Apr-13 14:50:54

Nowhere near as good as these, but...

We're friends with a lovely couple, but he is a bit of a cheapskate. We used to go out for a meal with them at least once a week, and when the bill came they never wanted to split it (they are vegetarian so their meals were often £1 or so cheaper, fair enough) so DH and I would work out our share roughly, add a bit for a tip and put cash on top of the bill. Friends would then take the bill and our cash to the bar to pay theirs on card. Took us over a year to work out that they were pocketing our cash, paying the whole bill on card and leaving no tip as they "didn't do tips", thereby pocketing the tip we'd left, every week! Now we're wise to it we pay by card too then "miraculously" find a fiver for a tip grin

My old flatmates at uni were fairly cheeky too. I moved in 1 day before them so on the day they moved in I said to help themselves to my milk/bread/butter until they could get to the supermarket. Thought my food seemed to disappear awfully quickly but thought nothing of it until I turned up after lectures one lunchtime to find (very rich) flatmate eating the last of my food from the fridge leaving me with nothing for lunch! But apparently this was fine as I'd said she could hmm

Weddings are good for cheeky family coming out of the woodwork. I particularly enjoyed a cousin I hadn't seen for 5 years contacting me on facebook "just to say hi" when she heard my wedding invites had gone out and not included her, then guilt tripping her mum (who we had invited) into not going as she couldn't possibly go without her... This cousin was 28 at the time.

I have one from DH too. When his grandad died DH inherited a load of tools from his shed (he is exactly like his grandad, loves making things and being useful.) DH's aunt decided that her friend, who has never met my DH nor his grandad, would like the tools DH had been left, and took them and gave them to her friend without asking. DH and family are a little in awe of his aunt and DH is a pushover so nothing was said!

expatinscotland Sun 21-Apr-13 15:09:32

'So although advice that we should stand up for ourselves is useful, I think I'm a step behind that. I need to work out how to even recognise the times when you need to stand up for yourself. Does anybody else get that?'

Arthur, it is very simple and takes seconds. Consider what is fair, with regard to money, time, property, etc. Mugs are nice people, pisstakers know this and prey upon it. If you think, 'Would I do this?' and the answer is 'no' because it's cheeky and mean, then you are in the clutches of a pisstaker.

The other strategy is to ask yourself, 'Would I let a stranger do this?' If the answer is 'no', then don't let anyone else do it, either.

The pizza situation: that would be when you sit down and you know you have no more money to feed yourself or your kids. And someone comes over and starts taking it. That is your cue to snatch the slice right out of the kid's mouth. 'Oi, manners here!' Look up at the mother and tell her to go buy her kids something to eat.

For us, too, it's simpler because we are truly skint. We cannot afford to subsidise someone's holiday, childcare, etc at the cost of ourselves because then we don't eat. We don't expect others to, either. So pisstakers get nowhere.

expatinscotland Sun 21-Apr-13 15:12:51

I find also that many British people are taken for mugs because they are taught to be non-confrontational. Try something like this on with a German, for example. LOL! 'No, that's not fair.' The poster with the crowd of them trying to get in her house, if you had said yes, but it will be £2/each for you to enter, they probably would have paid it.

DontmindifIdo Sun 21-Apr-13 16:34:37

expat - I think a lot of it is that sometimes the thing being asked wouldn't be unreasonable from other people/from people who pay back the favours - so DH going over to fix my friend's broken tap at 5am might have seen to be cheeky by some that she called me to ask DH (I would have called a plumber if DH was away and that happened and i couldn't work out how to fix it myself) but she'd already done a lot of free childcare for us, so we owed her a favour or two...

Being hospitable is normally paid back, it can sometimes be a while before you notice you're the only one to host etc.

Littleredant Sun 21-Apr-13 16:48:12

One Sunday morning I woke up to find a 15 half-nekkid men in our garden shed. The local rugby team. Our landlord had given them permission to change in the shed. Hadn't told us - 5 young women sharing the house used to their privacy of a Sunday. Then they wanted to use the loo and expected cups of tea. Still, I guess we got to lech at them.

Am still shaking my head at the old lady collecting the gooseberries...

DontmindifIdo Sun 21-Apr-13 17:12:22

oh, I've thought of one I told to piss off!

an ex colleage of mine was buying a flat, in 2007, so was offered 125% mortgage to clear her credit card debts at the same time (this bit will be important later).

She was convinced she'd be able to move in in 4 weeks - we all told her buying a house was sometimes delayed etc, but she was determined the estate agent had said it was "possible" so she gave notice on her flat for this. Then obviously, there was a delay and it was going to be another 5-6 weeks after she was supposed to be out of her rented flat. She asked me, someone she barely knew if she could come stay at my flat (she'd met DH once for a brief chat at a works drinks). I said I thought it would be tricky for us, and had she asked her landlord if he could extend her tenancy for a few weeks if he'd not found a replacement tenant. Then she told me that she'd ordered new wardrobes on the back of the fact that she'd have this 6 weeks of paying no rent or mortgage staying with a friend. That sealed it for me as I thought 'how stupid'. (Plus I did think if she was asking me she must have run out of close people she could take the piss with).

in the end, another colleague ended up having her to stay as other colleague was going to New York for the same 6 weeks and had a dog, suggested cheeky colleague stayed in her one bedroomed flat and looked after her dog, saving her kennel fees. Except for other reasons, cheeky colleague's flat purchase was delayed even further, and she stayed with dog owning colleague for another 2 months after she got back - sleeping on the sofa, taking over the whole living room.

Cheeky colleague admitted to another mutual friend colleague that she'd deliberately not rushed it through and was stalling the sale as she was enjoying buying things for her new flat with the money she would have spent on either rent or mortgage and bills if she wasn't staying with dog owning colleague. Things that dog owning colleague had to have cluttering up her flat for those months - while dog owning colleague bought all the food they ate, and paid all the bills. And then in the end, dog owning colleague was so glad to be getting rid of her, dog owning colleague ended up paying for the van to shift all cheeky colleagues stuff. She had to do that, because cheeky colleague had treated clearing her credit cards as meaning she could run them back up again and by the time she was looking to move, didn't have enough left before her credit card limits to pay for the van hire...

I would hear the regular updates thinking "dodged a bullet there" and "bet dog owning colleague wishes she had just sucked up the cost of the kennels"

expatinscotland Sun 21-Apr-13 17:13:16

I see what you mean, Dontmind but a lot of these posts aren't even about paying back a favour, sadly.

LemonMousse Sun 21-Apr-13 17:35:32

Years ago when 'Tupperware' parties were alive and well (early 90s) I hosted one and had quite a few work colleagues round as well as (notoriously tight) SIL.

Work colleagues were ordering quite a bit of stuff but SIL was muttering about how expensive it all was. I made it clear to everyone that they musn't feel obliged to buy anything.

Anyway, there was some sort of special offer on where if you spent over £20 you could buy some stacking storage whatnots for £1.99. My boss had spent about £30 (she was the one who started the craze for Tupperware parties! She loved the stuff!) so the rep said "Oh, do you want the special offer containers for £1.99 then?" "No" says my boss "I've already got them thanks" when in jumps SIL and says "Put her down for them and I'll give you the £1.99" shock

I could have killed her blush especially when she kept ringing to ask if her Tupperware had arrived yet. My boss laughed about it for months.

expatinscotland Sun 21-Apr-13 17:40:17

See, Dontmind, if I had been that dog-owner that colleague would have lasted about a week and then told she needed to go to the cash machine, NOW, and pay me £200/week in rent or start packing and be out by close of play the next day. And it wouldn't have embarrassed me a jot.

DontmindifIdo Sun 21-Apr-13 18:40:40

yep expat - didn't help that dog owning colleague earned far more than cheeky woman so I think didn't feel her equal enough to ask and it was always "one more week".... and they worked in the same team sitting on desks next to each other, I worked other side of the building so far easier to say 'no' then avoid.... Once someone's in it's often hard to get rid. (And you wouldn't have marched them to get rent money, you'd have been like me and said no in the first place!)

Oh, and cheeky colleague was most put out when she heard about 6 months later that we'd put up DH's old uni housemate for a couple of weeks when he was between flats - she was indignant that we'd done that for him and not her, not even seeing the difference between someone who was a virtual stranger to someone DH had lived with before, who knew it was 2 weeks max he needed to stay, who offered us rent (which we turned down, but the offer was genuine), and turned up with flowers, wine and chocolate to say thank you, took us out for dinner and generally was very well behaved houseguest if you ignore him and DH sitting up drinking whisky until the early hours talking about their uni days most nights, but that was as much DH's fault as house guest

I think that's the point a lot of the cheeky people don't get, that you'll do something for someone or do something once, that doesn't give them a right to expect it. (like the Mexican house thief, she'd let her SIL stay so it was ok for anyone to stay, she'd let him stay once so that means it was always ok to stay - that some people might be more deserving of your efforts are missed).

expatinscotland Sun 21-Apr-13 18:49:02

'I think that's the point a lot of the cheeky people don't get,'

No, they don't. They are truly that self-absorbed and have that huge a sense of entitlement.

Euphemia Sun 21-Apr-13 19:29:32

Lemon That's a little bit cheeky, but quite sensible really. No harm done!

youmaycallmeSSP Sun 21-Apr-13 19:30:13

Friends of my parents live in a lovely country pile with a fairly large walled park around it. Once in a while they will get a bang on the door from sightseers who want to see the house, having parked their car across the gates, jumped over the wall and ignored all the 'private property, no trespassing' signs. One couple got extremely irate when they were refused entry and demanded to be let in because they were members of the National Trust and English Heritage grin

DwellsUndertheSink Sun 21-Apr-13 19:55:45

dsis is a grabby entited person - has borrowed money left right and centre and never paid a penny back. Owes me a large amount and has never even tried to pay back a single penny. But the final straw was when she tapped my elderly aunty for a couple of grand to "pay the bills" as she was "really skint", "couldnt feed the kids" etc etc...

My lovely aunty had lost her husband of 45 years just a few weeks earlier, and so was pretty vulnerable.

6 weeks later, Dsis was on the phone to aunty when her new sofa was delivered....evidently she forgot where she borrowed the money from, and so didnt even conceal the fact that she had purchased a new £700 sofa. hmm

ANother one....

When DD was a year old, dh was working in another country, and we took a flight over to see him for a long weekend.

We were sat in the window seat, with DD on my lap. A very drunk couple were next to us. I could not escape.

I had brought DD a tub of snacks, as she would miss her tea time. SHe had marmite sarnies and a couple of other bits. The lady was chatting away to her, and nicked a sarnie. Then another. I took the third away, and so she last bit out of DDs hand to eat - the bit that DD had taken a single bite out of. Her partner said "DOnt steal the babies food!" to which she wailed "But I like marmite sandwiches!" AT least he looked embarrassed!

TheCrackFox Sun 21-Apr-13 19:59:19

This is such a great thread.

DH is a chef and some people seem to be under the impression that DH likes to work for free. Er, no. One memorable time DH got wind of a woman in the admin department, where he worked, had decided that DH and his best friend (also a chef) would be doing all the catering and provide all the food for her upcoming wedding as a wedding present (so several thousand pounds worth of taking the piss.) She had already booked a venue with this plan. DH had I had married 6 months previously and he didn't do the food at our own wedding (because he is not a contract caterer). Not only that but the cheeky mare was well paid and her fiancé had an incredibly well paid job and we had crappy wages. We still managed to pay for our own wedding.

DH had no problem telling her to piss off.

Funnily enough we weren't invited to her wedding.

ChasedByBees Sun 21-Apr-13 20:05:34

Dwells shock I would have told the air stewards to move the thieving arses away from me. That is just shock

MexicanHouseThief Sun 21-Apr-13 20:29:36

This thread is like crack grin

MexicanHouseThief Sun 21-Apr-13 20:30:51

Still howling at 'We gestured to them to fuck off' as well grin

thebeastandbeauty Sun 21-Apr-13 20:40:03

Haha, this has reminded me of camping at a small local campsite during a festival that was happening in the town.

There were about 5 of us sharing two tents, and we made friends with practically everyone else on the campsite. There was definitely a hippy/crusty element to the whole thing.

Anyway, I came out of my tent one morning and one of the guys we were friendly with was carrying his drum around in a rucksack. My rucksack.

As it dawned on me that, not only had he been in our other tent, he got my rucksack emptied out all of my things from it, including personal stuff!!

Seeing me, he just said nonchalantly (and loudly, in front of everyone) "oh, I'm just using your rucksack. Don't worry, I've put all your tampax and stuff in your tent."


BibiBlocksberg Sun 21-Apr-13 20:41:53

"I had brought DD a tub of snacks, as she would miss her tea time. SHe had marmite sarnies and a couple of other bits. The lady was chatting away to her, and nicked a sarnie. Then another. I took the third away, and so she last bit out of DDs hand to eat - the bit that DD had taken a single bite out of. Her partner said "DOnt steal the babies food!" to which she wailed "But I like marmite sandwiches!"

^ That is beyond the pale!!! I've constructed a new chart in my head now with this at the top, followed by Mexican House thief and the potential house invading germans claiming the bronze medal.

I give gold to the cheeky bastard Mexican holiday squatters with a close second to the piss head baby food robbers. Bronze goes to the unexpected bridesmaid. Special commendation for the gooseberry bush lady though!

Tremendous thread and I've nominated for classics smile

magicstar1 Sun 21-Apr-13 20:46:00

I'm lucky not to have friends like these users...we normally fight to get a round in! I only have one small incident in mind:
Years ago 4 of us went to a late night wine bar...one of these where you had to pay £20 for four people and you got a bottle of wine free. The mate's girlfriend refused (said she wasn't drinking) to pay so we split the £20 between three of us to pay in. When we were handed the bottle of wine, she took a glass and proceeded to fill it up to the top I took it out of her hand and told her she hadn't paid so wasn't getting any....she ran out crying that I was bullying her Even her boyfriend had no time for her that night!

nicobean Sun 21-Apr-13 20:47:31

My lovely FiL had to take his parents to see their daughter (FiL's sister) in hospital. She was very sick in ITU. The hospital was about 2 hours drive away.

FiL was to do all the driving, supposedly in his parents' car. On arrival, FiL was told by his dad that he had to drive them in his car as theirs had a flat tyre. Ok, no problem, FiL drove them in his own car, the visit was made.

A few days later FiL suggested to his dad that they might take a look at the car, and the cheeky old git replied "oh no, there's nothing wrong with the tyre, I just told someone that so we'd get a lift somewhere".

Apparantly he did have the grace to look a bit embarrased when FiL told him that the person he had lied to was him...

ThePathanKhansAmnesiac Sun 21-Apr-13 20:55:23

My Mum' s Aunt, was left high and dry with four kids by her husbad, he,d met a woman and ran off with her.

When he died 15 years later, OW contacted my mums aunt asking her to pay for the funeral. And she did.

BibiBlocksberg Sun 21-Apr-13 20:59:41

Oh yes, special commendation to gooseberry bush thief smile

Just thought of another couple from my own arsenal - tight as a gnats arse round a cartwheel friend decided she would cook me a birthday meal of one of her curries I'm particulary fond of.

Great, thought I, how lovely, so she brings the curry all ready made just needs to be re-heated after our trip to the pub (half a lager's only on her round you understand) got home, ate the curry, delicious, I walk into the kitchen about an hour later and dig a couple more spoonfuls from the pan with the left-overs as its so tasty.

'Oi, says she in very annoyed tone, don't be doing that, I think she's joking and carry on tucking in (well, it WAS my birthday meal after all) when she hastily grabs the pan away from under my digging spoon, covers it and then actually took it home with her shock

The rest is for me and DP tomorrow she announces, adding moodily 'not sure there's enough there now though'

I always fall for it though, last week she invited me round for a pizza and wine evening 'yes, lovely I said' - back comes the reply 'weeell, I have a frozen pizza for myself so if you could get one for yourself and buy the wine then that would be great'

<goes to sit on hands to avoid spilling any more tragic mug stories>

eosmum Sun 21-Apr-13 21:00:28

Sorry I posted up thread about bil taking dd out of her car seat to take it to collect his dd from hospital, someone asked if we had just let him. We didn't discover he'd taken it as he lifted sleeping dd out and put her on the floor, we were in the kitchen having lunch whilst she slept only found out after he'd left. Myself and dh couldn't believe it had happened, dh kept saying that I must have carried her out of the car and left it in the car, as if I'd have left her sleeping in the middle of the sitting room floor, didn't find out he had definitely taken it until much later when sil rang to ask how come we were finished with the seat as dd was so young and actually still smaller than their newborn dd. Pre mobile phone days.

expatinscotland Sun 21-Apr-13 21:01:19

'When we were handed the bottle of wine, she took a glass and proceeded to fill it up to the top I took it out of her hand and told her she hadn't paid so wasn't getting any....'


expatinscotland Sun 21-Apr-13 21:04:57

'I always fall for it though,'

Then you deserve what happens. You know she's a cheap cow, why enable her? 'If you want some wine you'll need to buy it yourself or give me the money right now.'

digerd Sun 21-Apr-13 21:07:35

I'm amazed how many people allow themselves to be treated like doormats.
I thought I was the only one!

BibiBlocksberg Sun 21-Apr-13 21:09:25

Oh I totally agree expatinscotland, I'm wise to her ways on the whole now but still suffer the odd slip-up as cannot get my head around being such a selfish host myself so don't always see it coming in others.

I've taken to offering no refreshments when she's round as that's all I get at hers. Can get very tense towards the end when I'm starving and thirsty though smile

VitoCorleone Sun 21-Apr-13 21:17:36

My mum once walked down to my house to put her old pair of trainers in my bin, fuck knows why. I thought that was fairly cheeky like

VitoCorleone Sun 21-Apr-13 21:18:08

My mum once walked down to my house to put her old pair of trainers in my bin, fuck knows why. I thought that was fairly cheeky like

bonnieslilsister Sun 21-Apr-13 21:39:33

Too smelly for her bin maybe vito grin

Klingyston Sun 21-Apr-13 21:41:51

SIL asked us to stay for a few nights after Christmas. When we go there she said 'well I don't know where you're going to sleep' and went out to a part for the evening.
My brother borrowed me empty flat quite often and complained it was dirty - didn't offer any rent

SisterMonicaJoan Sun 21-Apr-13 22:13:35

I have an EX friend who always pleaded poverty but she was going through a rough time so I made a some allowances. We'd meet for a coffee and after I bought them and we finished them, would always say "oh, have to get back for.." them leave. Expected me to pay her bus fare whenever we went anywhere. Stuff like that so not particularly earth shattering but niggling all the same.

Then she guilted me into going out for a meal on her birthday as our birthdays are only a couple of weeks apart. Each half of the bill came to £20 each but she only had £15 so I had to pay the difference. We had previously agreed to share the taxi after she was wondering how to get home from where we were going. It was a little out of my way to drop her off first but said it was ok and would probably only cost £X amount (less than a fiver actually). We get in the taxi, she gets out and doesn't pay!

She then started always talking abut how lovely my DH is, how good looking, how kind etc. Then I noticed that that whenever she was with both of us, we would constantly stare at him! He gave her a lift home and she out her hand on his thigh and then pretended it was a mistake!!!

I dropped contact pretty quickly after that!

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 21-Apr-13 22:27:17

shock cheeky cow.

SlatternismyMiddlename Sun 21-Apr-13 22:36:20

My SIL lives in a different country to us, not far though and comes over for birthdays and Christmas (at Christmas i would do her a stocking as well as some presents under the tree). Every single year when she is packing to get the flight back she says she can't fit everything in and leaves some of her presents behind.

I always make sure to buy her stuff that I know that she can fly home with.

It took me a couple of years to notice the pattern that what she was leaving behind were the presents she didn't want. She never ever asked us to send the stuff on. We have 7 years of rejected presents cluttering up our study. It's the fact that she cares so little about things that I have put thought into buying for her that she can't even be arsed to take them home before binning them.

FannyBazaar Sun 21-Apr-13 22:47:41

I had a friend who had a flat on the other side of London to me, she got married and they moved to Paris letting out their London flat. Every now and again she would phone, ask if I had plans for that evening and announce she was in London and coming round to stay.

Once she phoned me at work and complained that she had called yesterday evening at home and there was no answer even though she tried several times (this was in the days before mobiles and caller display), I said I had been out, she said never mind, she would see me after work and could at least stay with me a couple of nights. She repeated again her shock at not being able to get hold of me the night before. The following evening when I came home from work she answered the door to me wearing my slippers! The next morning when I got up she was following me around the house chatting at me while I got ready for work, eventually I snapped (not really very snappy) and said that I really liked to be on my own in the mornings and wasn't much of a morning person, could she just let me have some peace. She then arranged to go somewhere else as I 'obviously didn't like' having her around. Never heard from her again. She took all her stuff but did leave behind an empty packet for verucca cream angry.

A few weeks later her tenants called to say they were moving out and asked what they should do. I said I had no idea why they were calling me or how they knew me and they told me I was the emergency contact and they wanted to give me notice. First I knew. I said they could do whatever they liked, they had paid rent up to date and I told them I didn't even have a contact number for their landlady only a number for her BIL in France.

I shall also confess to a bit of cheekiness myself. My dear old cat needed loads of teeth taken out and it was going to be quite expensive, this was about 18 months after I split with exH, so I spoke to him about it and asked for half of the money as she was technically half his cat! He paid it! I don't think I actually expected him to cough up but I was a bit skint after buying out his share of the house and he was only paying a token amount of child support, I thought it was worth a try wink.

EccentricElastic Sun 21-Apr-13 22:50:57

Sorry I'm a bit late replying back, I've been out for a blast on the motorbike.....fabby it was too wink

Colcolepew thankyou - takes a bow!
Euphemia thankyou too - another bow!
the onewiththehair much appreciated - bows again!!

stealthofficial........ yes, sadly my sorry tale is totally truesad
neomaxizoom........it was just a very mild stroke, luckily (I was 31 at the time) probably due to all the bloody stress my so called friend was giving me!!!
But as for having it out with her, nope, it never happened. she took her son and demanded her bf take her home immediately, whilst wailing loudly about what an awful person I was, and that was the last I saw of her(Yippee's loudly). TBH the water throwing was a culmination of annoyance of several years of being treated like her personal childminder/ chauffeur/etc, etc! The last I heard was she trained in childcare, married the bf and went on to have more dc's!!!!

As for me, I bought a motorbike....with just enough saddle space for me and ds...he loved it, cos it gave him street cred with his mates, and' I love it 'cos of the VaVaVoom !!!

I came home from work wearing a new pair of lovely trousers that I had bought that day. Friend/flatmate was going out that night and demanded that I take them off and give them to her to wear and was pissed when I refused. She spent over an hour trying to get them off me including saying that she was more entitled to them as I was not going out, that she was a poor soul with nothing nice to wear (she had a wardrobe stuffed with clothes & what had she been intending to put on?) and wheedling at me to let her try them on to see what they looked like on her (not a chance - knew I'd never get them back!) She finally flounced out in a huff when all her pleading was to no avail.

Can't believe Mexico Man - I'm amazed at his total lack of embarrassment, loved the unexpected bridesmaid and the dog being dried with the swimmer's towelsmile

McKayz Sun 21-Apr-13 22:55:56

Eos, did you get the car seat back?

McKayz Sun 21-Apr-13 22:56:46

How do you nominate it for classics?

EccentricElastic Sun 21-Apr-13 23:00:33

Is there a classics thread where all nominated classic threads go?

If so, how do you find it?

Sorry to be so dim, I've just started on here (classic excuse!)wink

littlemisssarcastic Sun 21-Apr-13 23:02:33

I had a lady round from a charitable organisation the other day, to help me with something, and when I asked her if she would like tea or coffee, she said tea at first, but once I was getting the cups out, she asked me to tell her which brand of coffee I had.
I hesitated, then said it was medium roast coffee, and I can't remember which brand.
'Well have a look, there's a dear' she replied.
I looked and told her it was Douwe Egberts, to which she replied 'Ok, I will have coffee since it's not that cheap muck...I can't abide the cheap chicory stuff.'

I'm still wondering how she would have declined without appearing rude if I'd had a value brand.

I suppose I expected more from a stranger who works in a charitable organisation and whose job it is to help people with problems.

Just report the op and instead of saying 'she swore at me' say 'please pretty please put this fab thread in classics' smile

eosmum Sun 21-Apr-13 23:17:01

Yes car seat was returned after speaking to my lovely sil, who to this day, 16 years later, is still mortified. Bil is still a dick though, who thinks that his dc's are far more important and precious than anyone else's.

Springforward Sun 21-Apr-13 23:18:31

An otherwise lovely friend of mine has a blind spot for her dog. Once DS and I went for a walk in the park with her and her dog, who in turn is a fiend for chasing any kind of ball.

A man came into the park with a toddler kicking a little football about. The dog headed off towards them, she got it back under control before said dog reached the ball, but instead of putting her dog back onto the lead she told the man it would be best if he put the ball away. Which he did, and left the park.

She genuinely saw nothing wrong with that, so I chose other times and places to meet, without dog, after that.

cardamomginger Sun 21-Apr-13 23:31:24

Only just found this thread and really looking forward to reading it in full!

DH and I got married abroad and a now very ex-friend couldn't afford to travel out for it. Other friends decided to club together to buy her a plane ticket and sort out accommodation for her so she could come. This was their wedding present to us. Lovely thought! Ex-friend accepted and attended the wedding. Once the wedding was over she proceeded to travel all over the country sight-seeing, which involved two internal flights and a week's worth of hotel accommodation. Clearly, we she said she couldn't afford to come to the wedding, what she really meant was that she couldn't afford to come and have the holiday that she had wanted to have. For years after (until she became ex-friend) she would talk about the wonderful time she had had and how generous everyone had been.

TigerSwallowTail Sun 21-Apr-13 23:40:03

DP and I were out shopping a few weeks ago, there was a woman and her young son there, she was looking at clothes but standing in the aisle blocking the way at the same time. DP and I politely tried to get past them but she ignored us and wouldn't move, then said to her son "don't move out of the way Jack, stay where you are." (Jack is a made up name). We were gobsmacked, ignoring us and not moving is one thing, but purposely telling your young child not to move out of the way confused?

Whitewineformeplease Mon 22-Apr-13 02:18:51

Contented sigh... What a great thread, I have read it all over a cup of tea, lots of head-shaking, tutting and "cheeky bastards", so satisfying! I agree Mexican holiday nutcase man is the winner, but also enjoyed dog towel lady, gooseberry lady and sandwich nabber lady as well. Definitely a classic!

I have nominated this for classics, as I expect a few of us have. It is utterly wonderful.
My favorite is the marmite sandwiches 'but I LIKE marmite sandwiches' is now going into my everyday dictionary as code for 'entitled'


tigerlilygrr Mon 22-Apr-13 07:54:45

eccentricelastic just google mumsnet classics and you'll find it. Be prepared to lose many hours of your life! If you have parents in law make sure you check out the 'anal PIL' thread, it is brilliant.

PleaseDontEatMyShoe Mon 22-Apr-13 09:24:21

Happened to a friend of mine-one of her 'friends' (already known for cheekiness, dropping her 3 DC round 'to play' on a Saturday while she went shopping etc etc) asked her if she could look after her chickens while they went to Florida for three weeks. Said they practically looked after themselves, wouldn't be any trouble and so on, would only need water/food topping up, so friend agreed. On their way to the airport, friend of friend dropped off an envelope with instructions for looking after the chickens (bear in mind they lived a good 15 minute drive away):

-Chickens would need to be let out at 5.30am each day and shut in at 9pm
-They were having some problems with some kind of insect (mites?) so FOF would need to scrub the house thoroughly with a chemical treatment once a week. They had run out of treatment, so friend would need to buy a new bottle
-Friend needed to keep track of how many eggs they laid, but should keep the eggs for their own use (only slightly reasonable thing in the list!)

Friend was out, so only saw the instructions when she got back, and because she is much too nice for her own good, actually followed them.

On their return from holiday, FOF asked how many eggs had been laid, and charged friend £1.80 for every six eggs, as that was what she would have paid if she'd got them from a supermarket shock

They don't talk any more...

HazleNutt Mon 22-Apr-13 10:08:23

Please your friend did send them a bill for petsitting I hope?

expatinscotland Mon 22-Apr-13 10:12:18

Why did she pay her for the eggs?

Why did she do it at all?

I'd have contacted her from FL and told her she needed to find a qualified pet sitter asap and not to think about fucking me over again.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Mon 22-Apr-13 10:14:12

Them's some high maintenance chickens!


Mine used to let themselves out/put themselves to bed and just peck on the back door when they were hungry.

Those chickens sound cheekier than the friend..!

bootsycollins Mon 22-Apr-13 10:20:53

I'm gobsmacked at these cheeky fuckers! The Mexican holiday stealer shock

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 22-Apr-13 10:24:32

OK cheeky chicken woman is coming close.
Apart from anything else, £1.80 for 6 eggs is egg-stortionate.
Did your friend get the money back for the mite treatment?

This thread had helped me through a week of hellish nightfeeds. I love you all! I just think of the woman poking three gooseberry bush discontentedly and I can't stop smiling grin

notjustamummythankyou Mon 22-Apr-13 10:49:41

A neighbour popped round with her DCs, who are the same age as mine.

The two eldest were playing happily at the other end of the room when my DC piped up: "Mummy, X has had a wee wee". And, sure enough, there was the biggest puddle on the floor.

I looked at neighbour, neighbour looked at me. She then said she couldn't really do anything about it right now as her littlest DC "probably needed a feed".


So I cleaned up her child's piss, without so much as a thank you or an apology from neighbour.

Said child then came to sit near us on my NEW rug, still in piss-sodden clothes. Neighbour did nothing. I paused with baited breath, wondering if she was going to do something. Nope. So I offered fresh pants, trousers and socks and even changed her bluddy child's clothes for her.

Neighbour and children then said their farewells, and off they went. And, to this day, the clothes have never been returned.

EccentricElastic Mon 22-Apr-13 11:11:33

tigerlily thanks, I found the classics thread and have just spent an hour or more reading one of the posts, and found I needed oat cakes, a banana and choccy cake for supportive sustenance!

I'm supposed to be preparing work for my classes tomorrow, and it looks like colouring books n crayons are gonna be the order of the day instead !!

Luckily I'm only working one day this week, so will call at supermarket tomorrow after said class, to stock up on vital supplies to see me through reading the rest of the threads!

Go MN!!!!smile

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Mon 22-Apr-13 11:17:50

I've just remembered another 'friend'. Looking back she was pretty bitchy and sneery, but it was a good year before I realised how unpleasant she was.

She reads the daily mail, takes it seriously and links it to facebook. hmm

She went away and asked me to run her shop and feed her cats. She never had customers so wasn't a big deal and she was going to pay me a small ammount to do it.

I did it. Worked Thursday, Friday, Saturday and did my usual job on Saturday night. Shop was freezing and filthy (so was her house so I don't think she realised how bad it was). As I said, no customers so I cleaned up and tidied while I was there. She wouldn't pay the council for a bin so I carried the bin bag home with me to disposed of.

She picks up the key on the Sunday evening. No word of thanks. No money.

I go into the shop on the Monday, make small talk at the counter with her for fecking ages. No mention of money.

Get a text Tuesday. If I come in after 2pm she'll have it for me. I go in at 2.30pmish, she sneers at me over her glasses and spits at me 'I don't have your money.' I ask why and I'm told that her husband only just left to get it but won't be back for ages. Honestly, she looked at me like filth. I reckon she had no intention of paying me.

I go home, have a rant on my SiL's facebook wall about it. My DP sees how upset I am and drives around to her house to ask for it. He brings it home. I write off the friendship.

The next day I get a text from her asking if I'm home. I felt it was none of her business so I ignored it (think I was in Tesco at the time). A few minutes later and I get another text askling if I can mind her shop again that week and feed her cats. I say no, obviously. My excuse is that I have my own job to go to (true). I'm just paying for my shopping and I get another text telling me they've put their key through my door for me to feed their cats. shock They didn't even ask.

Muggins here feeds the cats - I do like cats.

On the Friday I get a shitty facebook message from the 'friend' telling me that 'she has no idea what she's done to offend me but she doesn't deserve to be slagged off on a random facebook page and not to bother feeding the cats on the Saturday, she'll get someone else to do it and she'll pick up her key on Monday --when she knew I'd be sleeping ready for a nightshift'. She also copied the message to my DP for no reason ast all.

Clearly she'd trawled through my facebpook page reading all of the posts I'd put on other people's wall. Can't run her fecking shop or feed her cats but can stalk people on facebook for hours.

I did reply relling her what she'd done but I don't think it went in.

Obviously we no longer speak.

She seems to have done this to a lot of people. Her own family don't speak to her, her in laws don't seem to like her and she has few friends. I get the impression she treats a lot of people very poorly.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Mon 22-Apr-13 11:22:06

Some of these are just jaw droppingly cheeky. I can in no way compete with a lot of them, but a couple spring to mind:

We moved in with my BIL, SIL and their 2 kids (6 and 11) when DD was tiny (months old), in hindsight it was a ridiculous decision but at the time I was suffering from PND and could do with the company and any help I could get. It turned out that they had seen me coming from a mile off and as well as subbing (not that I ever saw the money again) their rent and the bills, they decided I was their built in babysitter. I would ask the kids where their mum and dad was when I got up in the morning quite regularly, only to be told that they'd gone out for a few hours or the day, when I asked who was looking after them they would respond "you!". It was news to me and many a plan had to be cancelled/rescheduled as a result. I did eventually snap and needless to say we no longer live with each other (DH is now XDH so don't have to deal with them now anyway).

I lived in a shared house with 4 others in my early 20's, it was a pretty riotous place admittedly but one housemate tool the piss big style. I had the ground floor bedroom, it was a pretty big room. I once went to NY for a week with work, upon my return aforementioned housemate was chatting to me and offered to show me photos she'd taken of a party she'd had in the house whilst I was away. So I was sitting there being taken through these piccies until we got to a load that were clearly in my bedroom; there must have been at least 10 people sprawled all over my room, the floor was a state and some drawers seemed to be open as well as possessions strewn around. I asked what the hell she thought she was doing having a party in my room - she just didn't get what the problem was.

jayho Mon 22-Apr-13 11:30:29

Many years ago pfb was born in May and me and then dh decided that due to him having alot of work commitments I would spend eight weeks in our holiday home with baby. He would spend first two weeks with us then my mother would join us, he return to work then come back for last two weeks and bring us all home.

Mother arrived with four suitcases and two sun loungers which all went missing. As she didn't speak the language we spent two hot days chasing up the airline. They found and delivered the suitcases but the loungers had ended up at a freight terminal three hours away. DH had gone home but mother insisted she could not enjoy her holiday without the sun loungers so muggins drove all the way there and back. All this with exbf four week old baby.

My fantasy had been that I would loll around in the sunshine, establishing feeding, idly eating grapes..... Mother wanted to go shopping, every day. Mother tutted every time I bf and kept demanding whether I 'had' to do that.

Holiday home had one double bedroom and two very small singles, mother took the double so I ended up sleeping on the floor in the lounge so I could co-sleep with pfb.

About a week in I was doing an early morning feed, about 5am, when she stormed out of the bedroom shrieked 'that baby is ruining my holiday!' and flounced in to the bathroom.

While she was in there, I gathered everything up, threw it in the car and when she came out I told her we were going home. We got back to London at 6pm that night without exchanging a single word.

And breathe.......

flossieraptor Mon 22-Apr-13 11:33:21

A friend (well, she is married to a friend of mine) called to commiserate with me when I split up with a long-term boyfriend. Just for background, I was in my late thirties and keen to have a family, so pretty gutted. She asked me if I was free on Friday night and when I cautiously said yes, she asked if I would like to spend it with a really interesting guy who was keen to meet me. I said OK.

She then told me she was meeting up with her NCT group near me and would drop her 4 month old baby off with me for the evening and then get back late and stay the night shock

To cap it all, when she got back about midnight she asked what we'd done for the evening and when I said I just snuggled him next to me and watched tv crying she got a bit tight-lipped because she didn't allow him to watch tv shock shock

EldritchCleavage Mon 22-Apr-13 12:30:11

I can think of 2 cheeky fuckers I've had to deal with in my life:

'Friend' and housemate at Uni, I'll call her Hideous Harriet. She was the child of a single mother who had poisoned her mind against all men and encouraged her to feel constantly hard done by and out for compensation.

Since I and all the other housemates were the offspring of married parents HH reasoned it was up to us to redress the balance for her at all times. I came home in a rainstorm to find she'd taken all my towels from the bathroom to stop a leak from the roof, rather than her own. She constantly took our food, wanted to 'borrow' money and clothes, and enjoyed every misfortune any of us ever suffered.

She was so bad with refusing to pay for drinks (despite jumping into every round going if someone else was paying) that one night the entire house walked up to the bar with her then took a theatrical, choreographed step backwards and said 'Finally, HH you have to get a round in'. She refused, and claimed not to know what we were talking about. I refused ever to go out with her or buy her a drink after that.

One night she picked up a bloke in a club and invited him back (a common occurrence). She would always give them coffee and just when they thought they were in, tell them to leave. One night she banged on my door to say she thought that night's bloke wouldn't take it well, and I should go and tell him She got a mouthful of abuse. Our daft fellow flatmate went and did it. I did get our landlord fellow tenant to warn her about that little habit. Fast forward umpteen years, she wants to be my friend on Facebook. Ha!

Second cheeky fucker was briefly a boyfriend, then a friend. He had a tendency to cocklodge (what a cock it was, though) and used to borrow money and would be slow to pay it back, though he always did eventually. Final straw, he borrowed £300 ostensibly for some emergency, then forgot and wore the Italian shoes he'd bought with my money out when meeting me. I was not happy. He whined that he 'deserved' something ice. Not with my savings, he didn't. I made him pay it pronto, no more loans.

Fast forward a couple of years, he rang me from the US where he was living off his latest woman. They were splitting up, in horrendous trouble (immigration, the scams she pulled to get money to keep him were being discovered) and he needed £3k to ship his stuff, including a motorbike with custom chrome finish, back to the UK. I told him to sell the stupid thing, oh, and his Cartier watch collection if he needed money. He put the 'phone down on me. Saved me the trouble of telling him to sod off. He was a 'friend' for far too long, but I learned a good lesson. No one has 'cheeky-fuckered' me from that day to this.

gallifrey Mon 22-Apr-13 12:44:02

EldritchCleavage - he sounds just like my ex who coincidently also lives in the US and has recently married (I'm sure just for immigration purposes)
He was a cheeky fucker too..

ModernToss Mon 22-Apr-13 13:37:39

Not in the same league as some of these, but I have a cheeky Germans story too.

We live on a lake in Switzerland, and one day I looked out and saw a group of people, clearly a family, sitting around on our terrace in the sun in their swimsuits. I called my husband, who went down and asked them what they were doing. The dad said that they were just resting after their swim. They had come up through our garden (clearly private) and sat around our table. DH said, quite politely, 'I'm sorry, this is a family house', to which German Dad replied indignantly, 'We're a family too!'

DH really had to push to get them to leave - they were very comfortable and quite resentful that they couldn't just stay where they were. It was bizarre. I would have been so embarrassed.

chicaguapa Mon 22-Apr-13 13:43:48

Some of these are proper jaw dropping and go way way beyond a 'it was worth asking' attitude.

My dsis is an ultimate piss taker and asks for unreasonable things and just shrugs it off if the person says no. With no thought for the person who has just been put in an akward position. But sometimes she gets what she wants so just carries on.

She asked my DM to go on their honeymoon with them as she wanted to take the 4 DC but couldn't afford childcare for them. So my DM did and spent the whole time cooking all the meals and doing the shopping (because it was Dsis's honeymoon) and looking after all 4 DC whose ages ranged from baby to 10 iirc while Dsis and BIL went out every day on their own. Before she went, my DM said she would do the same for us, but had been run so ragged said she would never do it again. Not that I'd have let her anyway. Should mention that DM had to pay to go on the holiday too, Dsis didn't even cover that.

Another time Dsis asked me if she and DM could come round for a coffee the following day and I pointed out that I was at work. Then I found out that they had arranged to meet at my house as Dsis was thinking of moving and wanted to have a look around my area. And my DM had arranged to meet someone who'd she sold something to on ebay there. I found out because I got a call from Dsis when they were outside my house looking for my spare key and wondering where it had gone. (I put this on mn and was told IWBU as they were family).

Dsis always used to go through my cupboards and let her DC help themselves to snacks etc. To an extent I didn't mind giving my DN's food, but when you meal plan and are on a budget it's annoying when she's helped herself to the last two yoghurts that were going to last until the weekend. I tried doing it at her house once to see if she would mind and she was very arsey about it.

We haven't spoken since August as I just got fed up of the self-entitled piss taking. Not that I was ever complicit, but even being put in a position where I had to say no or put my foot down used to grate.

insanityscratching Mon 22-Apr-13 13:48:26

How could I forget my stepmother, df died leaving her very well provided for (he was the managing director of a very successful company) a huge detached house, a couple of cars, lump sum and a very generous pension. My GM outlived him but at the time of his death was in a nursing home.
Df paid an allowance to his DM so that she could have little luxuries, buy herself new clothes etc. When df died my stepmother stopped the allowance saying there had to be cutbacks now she didn't have df's salary which was laughable as the pension and lump sum would have covered df's salary and the house was mortgage free.
Then she really outdid herself when GM died and she refused to pay for the funeral even though it was df's wish that it was paid for from his estate (dh and I funded the funeral bill) but she turned up and demanded that she lead the mourners into church.
Mind you we should have expected it really as she wanted to sell df's belongings to me and my brothers and sisters when we asked for something to remember him by.

gallifrey Mon 22-Apr-13 13:54:53

These remind me of my best friend's SIL who sold them her buggy when she had a baby then asked for it back when her friend had a baby and just took it and didn't offer them any money even though she had made them pay top second hand price for it!

hollyisalovelyname Mon 22-Apr-13 14:01:18

Some of these people remind me of the Caroline Ahearne character in The Royale Family grin

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 22-Apr-13 14:07:56

That is so so sad insanity.

bran Mon 22-Apr-13 14:14:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 22-Apr-13 14:20:57

and another shock for good measure

bran Mon 22-Apr-13 14:27:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tigerlilygrr Mon 22-Apr-13 14:47:04

Oh I have thought of another one! I can't believe this slipped my mind...

A few years ago a middle-aged neighbour turned up to a quiet family event, completely uninvited. He was clearly rip roaringly drunk but as the person who answered the door wasn't sure if he'd been invited, they let him in anyway. First of all he got stuck into the booze. Then he cornered one of the family to explain at great length, with added swearing and gesticulation, just why it was he'd lost his job recently. Then he tried it on with the (teenage) girlfriend of one of the family. Then he resisted all attempts to get him to leave, so had to be physically ejected by four burly men.

All of this would be pretty cheeky for a house party. However it was not a house party....

It was a wake.

AlistairSim Mon 22-Apr-13 14:49:46

This is the best thread ever.

gallifrey Mon 22-Apr-13 15:41:07

It is!
Still can't believe the utter gall of some people !

lisac99 Mon 22-Apr-13 15:52:13

I used to have a friend (note the ‘used to’) who was so, so tight it was painful.

I was a student between 18 and 24 and she dropped out of school at 17 and started working. I had a research grant for my Postgrad which I could live on, but she earnt more than me…. She used to always do certain ‘tricks’ to ensure that I paid for her and as I was a total mug / idiot / stupid cretin, I let her get away with it for years, for example:

1.Whenever we ‘caught up’ and went to a coffee shop, she’d let me walk in the door first which meant I was in the queue first so inevitably, I would ask her ‘What do you want?’ and be the one to pay for it.

2.She had money issues so wasn’t allowed a credit card or a debit card – she could only use cash, and when we’d go out for (cheap) meals, she’d say ‘Oh, I don’t have any money on me, I’ll have to pay you back’ when the bill came… which meant I’d pay for the meal and she’d never pay me back. (Yes, I needed to grow a backbone but I hated and still do hate asking friends for money)

3.She’d always work out exactly how much she owed, so on the rare occasion she actually did pay her way, she’d pay for exactly what she’d had and nothing more. To save embarrassment, I’d always put 10% in for a tip as I felt it wasn’t the waiter / waitresses fault that my friend was tight.

4.She’s always have an excuse as to why she couldn’t drive, meaning that I would use my petrol to drive us around places and she’d never offer petrol money.

When I graduated and started earning more money than her, she used to say to me ‘Oh, you earn more than me, so you can pay’ and then she went to Uni to do an HND at the age of 27, so then it was ‘Oh, I’m a student and you earn loads so you can pay’…..

… Yes, I did FINALLY develop a backbone after buying Take That tickets for myself and her….. I bought them a good 4 months before the concert. She didn’t pay me back before, we went to the concert together.. she still didn’t pay me back and something just snapped inside me, so I asked her for the money. She pleaded poverty, and then I saw on Facebook she was ‘bored of revision so had gone shopping instead’. So, the next time we met up, we went for a meal and she did the whole ‘Oh, can you pay and I’ll pay you back?’ lark, I said no… I only had cash, I didn’t have my wallet’ and she went white. I said I’d pay for my half and she could sort her own half out… she was really scared – turns out she had no cash on her, nor any in the bank. I asked her why she thought it was acceptable to do this to me and she said ‘But you’ve always paid’ (serves me right, I was such a wimp) and I said no more… that I wanted the money for the Take That Tickets and she would have to sort her 50% of the meal out…. Paid my 50% to the waiter and walked out the restaurant.

The thing that really got me was the fact that as a student or someone who doesn’t earn lots, I was always really aware that you don’t want to go to ‘fancy’ places and sometimes eating a sarnie at home is better than going out to eat – I ALWAYS suggested we eat at our homes, rather than go to places as didn’t want to pressure her into spending money she didn’t have…. But she always said it was fine going out (well, duh.. as I was the one paying!)

There’s a bigger back story with her – when we were both 17, I had had a boyfriend for 2 years (first love and all that). It turns out that my boyfriend always preferred her and they were sleeping together behind my back. I found out, we split and she dated him for 2 years…. Only to get pregnant, have an abortion, her Mother found out and as she was strongly pro life, she kicked my friend out the house, hence why my friend dropped out of A levels and had to get a job , getting herself into debt etc. Apparently the first words out of my exes mouth after my friend had the abortion was ‘So how long until we can have sex?’ – I was devastated when I found out that one of my best friends was sleeping with my boyfriend but years on, God, I dodged a bullet!!!! Funnily enough, he ended up cheating on her with her Boss – he used to ‘pop in the shop’ to say hello to my friend, but it was actually the Boss he wanted to see.

When I found out about them, I stopped talking to her for 5 years, but after she dumped him and re-started her life, she contacted me through a mutual friend, begging forgiveness and I, like an idiot… forgave her.

RunRabbit Mon 22-Apr-13 15:52:32

This thread is like a car crash.

These things are so terrible but I can't tear my eyes away shock

RunRabbit Mon 22-Apr-13 15:56:55

Lisa How did she get out of paying for her meal?

I am loving these cheeky fuckers! Mine's mild in comparison.

My uncle's wife is only a few years older than me and they have two small children. She works 2 days a week. My mum picks them up from school one day, DAunt's mum the other. One week her mum was on holiday so my mum did both days. DAunt did not appreciate her mum taking term time holidays so told my mum "I told her to shove her childcare! So you'll be doing both days from now on!" My mum does too. DA was less than impressed when I announced my pregnancy, she asked what she'd do for childcare now if DM had my kid. First thing out of her mouth!

She also repeatedly badgered me about offered me their old cot and I sent DP to collect it. she shoved a bin bag full of completely broken toys in despite being told repeatedly I didn't want them. She also told DP I wanted him to collect her old mattress, which I'd refused on the basis it'd been used twice and stored in the loft for a couple of years. Luckily he was with me when I ordered the new one so checked with me. The response? Well I thought you could just take them to the tip while you're off. Yep nothing 8 month pregnant women love more than carrying mattresses around tips. That's what maternity leave's for.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 22-Apr-13 16:13:16

lisa, what did she do when you walked ot of the restaurant?

EccentricElastic Mon 22-Apr-13 16:17:20

lisac99 what a parasitic 'friend'! Did she get out of paying then, or did she have a lot of washing up to do? grin

I must point out that this thread is disturbingly addictive. I have been trying to prep work for tomorrow, and what should normally take half an hour tops, is still work - in - progressshock ha!

I woke up to squealing noises outside my bedroom window at 7am on a bank holiday. Looked in the garden and found that next door neighbour's kids were playing on our trampoline, and ndn was standing there, fondly watching them! She had unbolted our side gate and let her dch in our back garden!

EccentricElastic Mon 22-Apr-13 16:23:16

..........and I started at around 11 this morning!!!

lisac99 Mon 22-Apr-13 16:27:49

‘Friend’ was gobsmacked when I started putting my coat on, but I really was just ‘Grrrr’ by that point (I think this had been going on for a good, what? 7 years at this point, so was well overdue). Funnily enough, I DID get the money back for the Take That tickets the week after – she emailed me (as I was ignoring her texts and calls) and told me that she had had to phone her parents (Dad is retired, Mother works as a cleaner so not a lot of spare cash) to do an emergency bank transfer so that she could have money in her account to pay for the meal. I don’t actually know if she was able to get the money that night, or whether she had to go back the next day when the money was in her account, but either way, she told me that she got her parents to transfer cash over to her.

Thing was, she was apparently £250 ‘over’ her agreed overdraft (which is stupid as I thought if you had cash issues, you weren’t allowed to go over your overdraft?) maybe it was because she was a student… So her parents had to put in £265 so she could pay £15 for the meal!

She and I had a big ‘heart to heart’, she apologised, admitted she was jealous as my life had turned out ‘so much better than hers’ and that she had used the fact I didn’t like confrontation to take the piss big time.

She said it wouldn’t happen again and that she would always pay her way – I was like ‘OK, fine, whatever’. I used to work as an IT Consultant so was working 150 miles away from home and she went to the Uni in the same place that I was working, so actually it was handy to have someone to ‘do stuff with’ in the weekday evenings as I didn’t get on with a lot of work colleagues and didn’t have any friends living in the area.

I actually stuck to my plan of ONLY taking out cash (well, my debit card was tucked into my jeans but she didn’t know that) so she had no choice but to pay 50% for everything. I really thought we had turned the corner, she was paying for coffees, things were going well…

She then suggested we go to the Spa that I’m a member of – you can take 2 guests and pay £50 per guest as opposed to the £120 for a day visit. She said she’d pay the £50 entry and we could go, get a treatment and have a nice day. I said fine…. I had my members card and she got a guest card which you use instead of cash / debit cards, so at the end of the day, anything you’ve bought is just on the card and you pay it off at the end.

She said to me ‘Rather than using both cards, why don’t we just use your card and I’ll pay you the £50, plus whatever food and treatments I have at the end of the day?’ I said ‘Sure, however can you give me the money now, just so I don’t forget?’ she got all funny, then admitted she didn’t have any cash on her and that she was thinking she’d pay me back ‘the next time she saw me’… I said no, that wasn’t acceptable and considering all the times before, I’d rather have the money up front. She accused me of not trusting her and ruining the day, I said I really didn’t care and if she wanted to drive to a cash point, that’s her choice but I wasn’t walking to reception with her and signing her in as a guest unless she gave me the cash beforehand (we were in the car at this point, at the spa… just ready to go in)…

She drove off….. I’ve not seen her since. That was last year.

She has tried to contact me twice on email ‘Hey! It’s been ages, do you fancy meeting up before Christmas?’ type thing, but I’ve not replied and she’s now not contacted me for over 4 months….

I finally got a backbone! grin

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 22-Apr-13 16:30:30

Well done grin Brilliant story

RunRabbit Mon 22-Apr-13 16:42:48

Miranda Did you say anything to them or did you let them carry on?

EccentricElastic Mon 22-Apr-13 16:44:40

Wow lisa

she wasn't going to go quietly was she!

Good for you for sticking to your principles flowers

expatinscotland Mon 22-Apr-13 16:49:04

Good for you, lisac!

Fluffycloudland77 Mon 22-Apr-13 16:49:26

lisac99, well done. She must have cost you thousands over the years.

lisac99 Mon 22-Apr-13 17:01:02

I don’t know how much she cost me, I am the first to admit that I’m quite ‘lucky’ in my career (OK, so got myself a Ph.D that I worked hard for and had the obligatory student loan!) and as I’m not married and don’t have any children, I do have a lot of disposable income.

Therefore I don’t usually care what stuff costs and I really, really do enjoy ‘treating’ friends and family to things – I am very happy to pay for things usually, but I guess it just grated on me that it was expected and when she never used to say to me ‘Oh, by the way, here’s the tenner you lent me the other day’.

Due to this ‘friend’, though.. I think I made my sisters and friends paranoid, as whenever we go anywhere and I say ‘I’ll get this’, they say ‘Oh, no, it’s my turn, after all, I don’t want to be like <insert friends name>’ and that makes me cringe and makes me wonder if I basically should have manned up years ago and just told my friend to stop taking the piss, rather than simmer with resentment for years and vent at other, totally lovely people.

DystopianReality Mon 22-Apr-13 17:07:05

Not 'cheeky' as such... but my MIL once sent me a Kotex sanitary towel through the post that she got as a freebie and didn't need. She had to use a stamp in order to post it...

gallifrey Mon 22-Apr-13 17:08:39

Actually my Mum does the thing where if you go out and have a meal, she will give you £10 for hers but she will never offer to treat us to dinner or take it in turns she literally just pays for herself. Pisses me and DH off no end.
When we go out for a meal with my PIL we take it in turns.

Fluffycloudland77 Mon 22-Apr-13 17:16:16

I hate family meals with sil, she orders sharing starters she knows damn well I can't have due to allergies and puddings etc then we have to split the bill equally.

Luckily we pissed her off enough to never be invited back. So we have lovely meals just pil and us.

Thisvehicleisreversing Mon 22-Apr-13 17:16:58

My uncle got with a lady a short while before my wedding. She seemed lovely and had 2 young girls who I'd only met once.
We were keeping our wedding low key so only close family were invited. I'd invited my uncle and his new girlfriend as a plus one but as there weren't any young children her girls weren't invited to the day but were more than welcome to the evening disco.

As we came out after the ceremony I spotted her 2 DD's hovering about outside looking forlorn. She explained that they "desperately wanted to see my dress but don't worry they'll wait in the foyer til after the meal as I know they've not been paid for"
I didn't know what to do so let them come to the reception squeezed on a table eating chips.

They weren't even dressed for a wedding, the 8 yo was wearing a velour cat suit FFS.

And they acted like they didn't want to be there with miserable faces on all day. Turned out they had no babysitter so that's why they were there.

Step aunty and one of my step cousins (if that's what to call them) are still very entitled bitches.

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 22-Apr-13 17:24:45

Hi all,

We've moved this over to classics now.

Thanks for the reports.

musickeepsmesane Mon 22-Apr-13 17:27:20

Glad this is in classics. Got to page 9 but need to keep going. Was going to ask expat to keep bumping the thread so I wouldn't have to go looking for it grin

EldritchCleavage Mon 22-Apr-13 17:33:04

I forgot my SIL (I try to, always).

She is the Golden Child and DH is the Scapegoat in their family. She was horrible over our wedding, because she was for once going to be eclipsed by her brother and SIL was obviously having difficulty with that. So after various tiresome difficulties, we had our wedding and she didn't ruin it (thanks to my sister, who was grimly keeping her in check). It was a morning wedding followed by a long lunch then drinks, and by 6 pm DH and I (5 months pregnant) were ready to leave.

Cue histrionics from SIL because no one had arranged transport for her to get home. It was a London wedding. SIL had lived in London nearly 20 years by this point, but apparently being expected to get from Chelsea to Maida Vale by herself at 6pm on a winter's evening was a bloody outrageous liberty, and why on earth would anyone expect the Sister Of The Groom to be responsible for her own transport home? We declined MIL's suggestion that we delay our departure to arrange and pay for her taxi, and bogged off to our posh hotel. SIL was still complaining to people about this over a year later.

Pandemoniaa Mon 22-Apr-13 17:44:43

I'd have assumed that gooseberry woman was indeed entitled to the fruit that I'd thought was mine, and that I had got it wrong

I'd never describe myself as a push-over but actually, when faced with such unbelievable cheek - made all the worse in this case by the astonishing tongue lashing I received for eating my own gooseberries - there can be a moment when you start doubting the truth of the matter!

I have also remembered two other, "everyday tales of countryfolk" (one of which is also fruit-based) that are similar and also notable for the very bad grace demonstrated by the cheeky fuckers in question.

1. We have blackberries growing behind our garden. As do all the neighbours. There are very many blackberries available. So on another nice sunny afternoon in late summer we were minding our own business picking some to make jam and some nice warming blackberry vodka. Houseguests of our former neighbour arrived at the bottom of our garden (with children and containers) to demand that we left "plenty for us". When I pointed out that there were enough blackberries to feed a small town out there, I was told that this was immaterial. There were 4 of them and 2 of us so we had no business being greedy.

2. The same neighbour (who was actually lovely) held a small house-warming party not long after she moved in. One of her guests parked his large van in our front garden, churning up the grass in the process. On going out to ask him to move the vehicle, Rude Van Man shouted something unintelligible at us. On asking, for the second time if the van could be moved, DP was immediately interrupted by the Rude Van Man who shouted "What the fuck is the matter with you people? Didn't you hear me the first time? Is this No. 3?". DP assured him it wasn't and that our garden wasn't a car park either. RVM moved, with a very bad grace and complained to our neighbours about our unreasonable attitude!! She was, in fairness, mortified. RVM, incidentally, was a member of an exceedingly well known orchestra but his musical talent appeared to come at the cost of cultivating even the most basic manners.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Mon 22-Apr-13 18:15:49

My cheeky friend who I wrote about here:


has gotten back to me about my 'childminding duties'.

Anyone fancy decoding this?

Heyy will u still b ok 2 hav XXXX on the sat mornin that I work still it will b 4 anotha six sats coz I only hav 12wks left at work and I do everyotha sat x

The last time we had an actual conversation that wasn't about her needing childcare was the 19th of November. hmm

Don't panic though, I'm saying no. Hoping expat or someone similar will draft me a reply!!


StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 22-Apr-13 18:19:46

clickable link
will read later as I think that;s going to be a good one smile

Sunnywithshowers Mon 22-Apr-13 18:20:54

I have two stories about my horrible grandad and wife.

My parents live in Spain. Grandad couldn't give a shit about mum while she lived over here, but for the last few years has gone over to stay with mum for a fortnight 'because it's cheap'. He has a good pension, more than one holiday a year, and my parents live hand to mouth. They don't expect to pay for anything when they stay, and will only pay for the odd round of drinks (but very grudgingly).

A few years ago my DB had an accident and broke his neck. I called my parents (obviously) and made arrangements for them both to come over. This all clashed with the intended holiday. They couldn't have cared less about my DB - they were so sure that their holiday would go ahead and he wouldn't have his parents around while he was in hospital / having a serious op to repair his neck. He could have been paralysed. Happily, DB's op went well and he's fine, but they haven't stopped moaning about their cancelled flight since.

My MIL has a second home near the beach, which she doesn't rent out but occasionally lends to very close friends and her family. My mother accidentally mentioned this to grandad in passing. He phoned me straight away to ask if I would ask her to lend it to them. I haven't asked. Apparently his wife mentioned to my aunt that they were surprised not to have heard from me about it...

Mum and dad have had a procession of distant relatives and scrounging friends crawl out of the woodwork since they moved. I'm much harder than them and would have told some of them to fuck off.

expatinscotland Mon 22-Apr-13 18:23:24


No, it's not okay and it is a miscommunication if you thought it was. That doesn't work for me. You will need to make other childcare arrangements.'

No 'sorry' or excuses, because I remember the original thread. This person is a piss-taker.

Get this through: Pisstakers are NOT and were NEVER friends.

Friends don't use other friends over and over and offer nothing in return and not even a fecking thank you or offer of money, favours, etc.

wetsand Mon 22-Apr-13 18:28:58

MrsK you sound so lovely and friendly, it makes my blood boil to think of so many lovely people like you being taken advantage of by the CFs!

Euphemia Mon 22-Apr-13 18:30:50

He had a tendency to cocklodge (what a cock it was)

grin Presumably this is why so many of them get away with it! grin

BOF Mon 22-Apr-13 18:33:00

MrsRajesh- type out expat's reply word for word and send that. It will be so liberating.

expatinscotland Mon 22-Apr-13 18:36:34

Note how quickly pisstakers drop you or cease contact the second you cut off their gravy train. That is because pisstakers, cheeky buggers and cheapskates are NOT and never were your friends. They don't have real friends because they are entitled, self-absorbed twats.

HazleNutt Mon 22-Apr-13 18:37:07

Oh yes, buy a house in a nice location and you'll be amazed how many friends you'll suddenly have.

My parents have a house by the sea. They were not too surprised when an old mate from school that they had not heard from in decades, suddenly invited himself and his family over. They were somewhat surprised when he then arrived with 2 other families in tow, people my parents had never met before.

flippinada Mon 22-Apr-13 18:41:36

This definitely the best thread ever.

I must try and think of some good stories.

Sunnywithshowers Mon 22-Apr-13 18:43:56

I've got another one: a 'friend' who I am studiously ignoring. I have yet to tell her I don't want to see her again.

She's always been massively self-centred and self-obsessed, but I've let a lot of it slide because she had a terrible childhood blah blah blah. She's a single mum and her pfb is adorable. She and baby have stayed with DH and I twice.

The first time, she was pinned to our sofa breastfeeding so we spent all our time chatting. It was fine(ish), except she talks incessantly about breastfeeding. Neither DH nor I got a word in edgeways. It was a relief when she went.

The second time she came, her little girl was 7 months old and needed entertaining. I spent the whole time with the baby - playing, changing nappies and so on. And clearing up the stuff that she just dumped on the floor such as wipes, calpol sachets... And listening to her complain about how the temperature of our spare room - as if she wasn't responsible for having left the window open all bloody day and night. Both of our sofas were covered in baby clothes and gubbins (there is space in the spare room) and nowhere for us to sit. And she was still going on and on and on and on about breastfeeding. (We can't have kids, so I don't have strong opinions about BF vs. FF. But I now know more than I ever cared to know about foremilk and hindmilk.)

DH retreated to our bedroom because she rarely spoke to him. When I say 'spoke', I mean 'asked him a question about himself'. I've been used to it, but he was really fecked off.

The absolute classic was her telling me, the day before she was due to arrive, that she'd invited a mutual friend and their children round our house. I like this friend and enjoy their company but FFS... it's our bloody home, not her sodding holiday home!

DH and I have agreed that baby is welcome to come back and stay with us any time - she was adorable and well behaved. Her mother is not welcome.

flippinada Mon 22-Apr-13 18:54:22

Oh I have one. Very mild in comparison to most others but still worth a mention.

Cheeky friend who guilt tripped me into giving her and her DD an invitation to my son's b'day party.

Spent the entire time with a face like thunder and complained it was too noisy (fgs, it's a group of excited 6 year olds hopped up to the eyeballs on sugar - of course it's gonna be noisy)!

Just to put the icing on the cake (ha ha) she spent a large portion of time talking to my abusive XP and told me "I'm sorry to say this, I know what you said but he seems really nice to me".

flippinada Mon 22-Apr-13 18:56:34

I don't think counts as cheeky so much as crashingly insensitive. But hopefully someone will get enjoyment out of reading it smile

StuffezLaYoni Mon 22-Apr-13 19:12:44

Ooh expat's reply is spot on - send that!!unbelievable cheek.

Thought of a horrible one from years ago when I was a student. I managed to save a couple of grand before going to Uni so actually had some money saved in my ISA. A housemate of mine was in financial shit and borrowed £700 off me. As we neared the end of our tenancy I started to get uncomfortable but she assured me I'd get it back, and she'd never stiff a friend, etc.

I don't know when I actually twigged, but I just remember going into her room one day and it was totally empty. She had packed up and moved out while I was out the house. She wouldn't answer the phone to me and when I found her parents number and she answered she went dead quiet and hung up on me.

Eventually I contacted her mum who worked for the university. She met me in a cafe and gave me a cheque for the full amount. Then - I swear to God - she pointed her fucking finger in my face and told me never to contact her daughter again. I wish I'd snapped it off.

AntsMarching Mon 22-Apr-13 19:35:05

My mother had a friend that was a complete user. She used to suggest that her and DM take all of the kids, she had 2 and DM had 2, out for dinner. Then when then bill came, friend would have no money to pay and DM would stump up.

Friend also went to a shop that was closing down and only accepting cash with my mother and father and decide she wanted to buy something. Asked DM to pay for it as she had no cash. By this stage in their friendship DM had wised up and said no. Friend then pulled out the cash to pay. When DM said I thought you had no cash, friend replied, "This is my rent".

Friend used to complain to DM that it was unfair because both my parents worked and she was single so had less than them. I think that's why DM was such a sap for years, she felt bad for her.

angry Stuffez I'd have bitten it, the rude cah!

Ploom Mon 22-Apr-13 20:09:37

A friend who is extremely self absorbed made me find my backbone recently. She's just opened a cafe and she asked me if I would bake her a cake once a week to sell in her cafe.

I asked "so how would that work for money - would I let you know how much I spent on ingredients & we would come to an agreement on how much you'd pay me?"

The answer "oh I didnt plan to pay you - I was thinking you would do it for free"!!!!!!!!!!!

Well the answer will be NO then!

She also asked me if I could work one morning a week - she didnt plan to pay me for that either. Eh NO again!

But the amazing thing is other people are baking cakes for her for free - think I need to direct them to this thread to make them see that she's taking the piss!

PimpMyHippo Mon 22-Apr-13 20:10:50

I am loving this thread, nothing like a nice bit of righteous indignation! grin I can see how it happens with friends who "can't pay" - when I was at Uni I had a friend who would always wait until we were in the taxi before declaring "I haven't got any money so someone else will have to pay my share" - and I'd often see her pull a fiver out of her pocket to buy a packet of fags afterwards. She would go on and on about being skint in a competitive way, always had to outdo anyone else who dared mention not having much left for the month (we were all skint students!) but I saw her online banking once... wink Definitely not the poverty case she made out!

expatinscotland Mon 22-Apr-13 20:21:02

'I can see how it happens with friends who "can't pay" - '

That's because they are never friends, those who truly can't pay will turn the invite down, over and over again, or suggest something else to do that is cheap.

We're pretty skint. Lots of our friends are, too, and know that. So instead of going out we invited one another over for coffee, tea, cakes and kids playing together. Especially flush times are times to ask them over for a simple but good meal.

Friends are about company, companionship and support.

A mate cuts my hair. If I don't have money to pay her, I wait till I do to ask her to cut my hair.

expatinscotland Mon 22-Apr-13 20:23:52

But not say, so as to guilt you into paying. But something like, 'I really enjoy your company. Things are tight, though, care to come round with the kids? There will be cake, jelly and ice cream, tea and coffee smile.' And then suggest a time.

expatinscotland Mon 22-Apr-13 20:25:28

Or a quick text on a nice day, 'Say, are you all free? We are heading to XY park for a BBQ/picnic and bringing the footballs/kites/scooters/bikes for the kids. Care to come along?'

Offred Mon 22-Apr-13 21:36:47

When I was extremely heavily pregnant and very sick in my twin pregnancy I was sitting in the lounge in the shade with all the doors and windows open for some air in hot August weather and I heard some children who were not my children in our kitchen so I went to investigate and it was the neighbour's step child and her friend, they had taken the fence panel out, their dog (pitbull cross!!) was pissing all over our garden and the children had walked mud from their hose toy all through the kitchen and climbed up on our kitchen counters to help themselves to our glasses so they could use our squash and the ice machine on our fridge!!! The neighbour thought I wouldn't mind!

I did mind.

They never did it again.

They had never been in our house before either or had permission to use our garden. For a while they were repeatedly climbing over our gate to get into their house too because they didn't fancy taking their keys. They thought they had access rights, I explained they didn't it stopped.

I watch them like a hawk... Knobheads...

I'm still half way reading these but i'll add my ones in whilst i bookmark my place.

I was due to get married, had the dress, bridesmaids etc and i cancelled the wedding with a few months til the big day. I was getting used to living alone and was really struggling for money. A colleague saud "please dont think im being pushy but would you consider selling me your wedding dress?" It was a great solution and she came round to try it on. She absolutely loved it and her mum was coming from the other end of the country so asked could she take it home to show her mum? She only lived two streets away so i agreed.

On the monday she told me she def wanted it and could she hold on to it and give me the cash. The money of course never appeared and when showing the office photos of her new niece there was my dress hanging in the background hundreds of miles away at her mums. Im hoping God frowns upon marrying in church in a stolen wedding dress!

The other one was my SIL she had gone on and on about a certain buggy so i told dh that it might be a good present to get her when preg with the first baby in the family. He gave her the buggy but the next day we came home to it in the middle of our lounge. It had a post it note stuck on it saying "please return this and give me the money" She'd taken the emergency key off MIL. I didnt want to return it but dh did so he waited the full 28 days we had under the returns policy.

AaDB Mon 22-Apr-13 21:40:28

I love this It's like Twitter, except we charge for it. I love the pie charts. Well worth a read.

Some cheeky fuckers just can't take no for an answer.

ipswichwitch Mon 22-Apr-13 21:48:50

My DBro once asked to borrow my car. To drive to Poland. From the NE England. When I stopped laughing long enough to say no, he got quite huffy after I pointed out that he had his own car which was not only better than mine, but bigger and newer and a damn sight more likely to make it to Poland.

Never got to the bottom of exactly why it had to be my car that did the journey, but one of the feeble excuses was that they couldn't afford airfare. Because petrol costs nothing right.
At this point I got a bit marked and said no way I need it to get to work. The reply was "well there's busses isn't there". Yes and he could get the bloody bus to Poland.

He didn't speak to me for 2 months on account of me being unreasonable. He only started speaking again because he wanted another unreasonable favour.

Ooh, my thread made it into classics!

It's been interesting reading, that's for sure... I hope it has inspired people into seeing 'cheeky' friends for what they are - users...

I hope it has been cathartic for people, and entertaining - sort of wink

BibiBlocksberg Mon 22-Apr-13 21:55:44

Oh, here you are, found you, was getting a bit concerned as to where I was going to get my fix of righteous indignation today smile

Just literally howled at that it's not twitter site, just the tonic after a crappy Monday.

DollyTwat Mon 22-Apr-13 22:03:01

I'm loving this thread!

Years ago I had a friend who had loads of money, a property developer I the 80's. He invited lots of us to his birthday party, about 50 of us. So we all meet at his cousin's hotel for a meal. We weren't given a choice of meal, but we didn't think anything of it

Then at the end he told us all we needed to pay £40 each for the meal!
Lots refused, I think I paid and extra for the drinks as I didn't know quite what else to do

He has form for this type of behavior though. During the property boom he would ''back to back' property purchases which means he would have sold the property he had just bought before he'd actually paid for it. One house he got the owners to show round prospective purchasers ( at a higher price) for him. He is shameless

Caitycat Mon 22-Apr-13 22:30:21

A tame one but felt bad until I read these! DSis had a new boyfriend who she brought up to stay with us one weekend when friends of ours were having a bonfire party. We all went to the party and DH and I introduced them to all our friends, party finished at 7.00 and those of us without kids went on to the local pub. There was quite a crowd and my v generous friend bought the first round,everyone asked for either beer or soft drinks except DsiS's boyfriend who asked for a double whisky. He then proceded to dominate the conversation, lecturing our friends on his tedious niche interests and making some quite personal comments.

My DH got the next round in and opened a tab as we were planning on eating at the pub, the same thing happened, another double scotch which he quickly downed before anyone else had really tasted their drink. He then asked if anyone wanted anything from the bar, not many takers given his lightning drinking but I felt pleased he had at least offered as I was starting to feel v embarrassed about inflicting him on my friends. He returned with yet another double scotch and a pint of beer (both for himself) saying 'I need to slow down a bit or I'll be under the table' and then mentioned he had added his drinks to our tab.

He continued to drink us out of house and home over the weekend. Sadly DSis has not seen the light and is still with him five years later!

AaDB Mon 22-Apr-13 22:31:29

Bibi, my OH sent " it's not twitter" to my work when I was having a crappy day. I have it as a favourite and read it every now and then. I'm quite envious of people reading it for the first time. grin

Thisvehicleisreversing Mon 22-Apr-13 22:51:34

Just been reading the latest of these stories when DH suddenly tells me a story of something that happened at work today. He doesn't know what I'm reading so a cool coincidence smile

Anyway, apparently some plumber who has an account at DH's place of work (building supplies etc) has been on holiday in the far east. They received an email from this guy today asking if it would be possible for him to borrow £2,000 from his account to get him and his family home as they've run out of money!

DH's work colleagues are convinced it's a wind up but after reading these stories I think it might just be the truth grin

BibiBlocksberg Mon 22-Apr-13 23:02:42

I was helpless with mirth when I got to the logo AaDB - going to have to learn how to do those pie chart thingies for all manner of unreasonable boss requests at work grin

lisbethsopposite Mon 22-Apr-13 23:26:12

I can't help myself, reading this thread but it brings back bad memories of a few gobs****s I've met in my life. Takes a while to twig they always want to take, never give. Yes also to the flashy spending, car etc, but last to the bar.

Mexico man takes the biscuit. I also think DW knew - why did she never mention the trip, or send over a thank you bunch of flowers (even from her own garden)?

alarkaspree Mon 22-Apr-13 23:28:37

Thisvehicle, that email from the plumber is a scam sent by an email virus. Two of my friends have had it, that I know of. It would be kind of your dh to let the plumber know that he's received the email so that he can alert his actual friends who might respond to it.

Sunnywithshowers Mon 22-Apr-13 23:39:47

Have any of you seen the site below? It's about pisstaking clients and I love it...


CrispyHedgeHog Tue 23-Apr-13 00:30:11

Love this thread.. was agog at the stories and then remembered my wedding!

Bil (exh's brother) was a bit of a failed delboy type.. he and sil were both raging alcoholics. At the time he was trying to build up a fruit and veg stall. So they turned up with a bag of rotten fruit and veg in a carrier bag as the wedding gift.. proceeded to get outrageously drunk and then sil got me in a headlock and proceeded to lecture me about what a terrible family I'd married into.. they were all nutjobs and I should have run for the hills when I had the chance etc etc etc.. bear in mind I'm in my wedding finery and with my head being firmly held under her arm.

She then pissed herself and passed out at which point she finally let go grin

mumvswild Tue 23-Apr-13 00:37:01

Years ago before I was married I lived in an old but lovely unit in a very sought after area in Oz. I had met a new fella and had plans to move out together. My Db who I had seen maybe once or twice in the last 3 or 4 years suggested that he would love to move in. I said ok. Within the week it became apparent that the new guy wasn't going to work out and I told older Db that I would need to stay after all. I was informed that I could stay till I arranged somewhere else. I was much younger at the time, younger than him and felt I should stick to my word. I ended up moving home with parents. I had an ex, who I'm now married to help me move some stuff out, a few boxes, while I was inside getting bits and pieces DB was taking my things out of the vehicle saying 'thats mine' (expensive cookware gifts from parents). He refused to let me collect over 80 percent of my stuff which he still has over 6 years later. I had to have several calls and meetings in order to collect my DDs baby book for immunisation purposes! My DF is over him re: this, although still makes an effort to see him which is wholly ignored. My overall feeling is that I am mostly happy and he is mostly unhappy and it was worth it to be rid of him.

mumvswild Tue 23-Apr-13 00:40:17

Sorry, no paragraphs, sad.

I have one. Ten years ago I was living in London, not far from a well-known public school. There is a woman, I'll call her Barbara, whom I know through a competitive sport. Have never got on with her and in fact last time we encountered each other in said competitive sport she (completely unreasonably) accused me of cheating - bad case of sour grapes. Since this incident I have more or less ignored her. So I am surprised when the next time I see Barbara, she approaches me and asks if she can come to my flat every Tuesday morning at 11 for a coffee, because she has some time to kill before teaching a class at aforementioned public school at 12. Er no, I say, I am out at work on Tuesday mornings. (Funnily enough, not just sitting at home waiting to entertain people I don't like very much).

Oh that's a shame Barbara says, I normally go to the Marks and Spencers cafe but I was thinking if I could have a coffee with you it would save me 1 pound...

I vaguely knew someone from the next village and bumped into her at the shops and she asked me round for a cup of tea the next afternoon. She'd baked a delicious cake and we chatted, got to know each other a bit better although I was a bit suspect of some of her statements "yes I used to be a professional dancer", "when I was head chef at XXXX (famous London restaurant)", "I was selected for those Olympics""!!!!!

Not that this couldn't all be true but seemed very unlikely, anyway each to their own.

A while later she contacted me about something and I invited her to my house and said, (lazy cah, can't bake), tell you what we'll go to our village pub and have a bar lunch, my treat. She comes into my house and then off we went and when we got there, went into the bar and got the menu, lots of really lovely sandwiches with chunky chips, that sort of thing. But she kept stretching her neck and looking into the conservatory out the back and eventually asked what was in there. It's the posh restaurant so I just waffled over it but she persisted and ........you know what's coming, don't you, I was too much of a wimp to say no and I ended up paying £48 for lunch for two on a bloody Tuesday, FFS!

Strange thing is that if it had been a good friend I wouldn't have hesitated in saying, no you cheeky cow, we're not eating in there unless you're paying! My sisters couldn't believe it or the fact that I allowed it to happen, I'm not known as a pushover!

It gets worse! Didn't hear from her for couple of weeks and then received a message from her saying that she'd remembered I said I was going away in September, and her daughter was now getting married then and that she had family coming from miles away. However she was finding it hard to get them all into the same hotel and it was so expensive, blah! blah! and she had talked to them and had suggested that they could stay in my (empty) house that weekend (TEN of them!) and they all thought it was a great idea, thank you very much!!!!! shock

I honestly had to read it through several times to see if it did say what I thought it said. It did! She had been in my house once, for 10 minutes, I'd met her on her own exactly twice!

Was tempted to just ignore it but was worried they might all turn up anyway on the day, imagine, so just wrote back congratulating her on the wedding news and said (big fibber) that I wasn't going away now, change of plans.

Was desperate to also tell her what I thought but as it happened I never heard from her again!!!

Strangely enough have since found out that she definitely knew where I lived before she had asked me round (assumed ignorance when I told her) and wondered if she walked round the village looking at 'suitable' accommodation and then set about befriending the people who lived in them <cue Twilight music> grin

AntsMarching Tue 23-Apr-13 08:14:52

I thought of another one. My DMum's entitled friend has a son. The son was going to move to America, so friend calls up DM and asks if she can put the son's flight and his friend's flight on DM's credit card. DM said no and friend got huffy and said, "I'll give you the cash." DM asks why friend couldn't put it on her credit card and friend admits her cards have all been frozen due to being maxed out and payments not made.

Turns out thought that friend has raised her son to be just as entitled. When he came back from America, he moved in with her bringing his new girlfriend and new girlfriend's dd. Friend gets married and moves in with her new husband, her son (and his gf and dd) stay in friend's house. Marriage goes bust and friend needs to leave husband's house, her son tells her he's sorry but it won't be possible for her to move back into her own house as they need the space and she doesn't really get on too well with his gf. So friend ends up renting whilst her son lives rent free in her house!

That would be Twilight Zone music, not Twilight, doh!

GoingVerySlowlyMad Tue 23-Apr-13 09:31:23

I can't believe the brass neck of some people, addictive thread though! I have one from last year but mild in comparison to likes of mexican house thief and gooseberry bush lady.

Last year DD1 became friendly with a new girl in her class. Wanting to help the girl settle in I invited her over after school. Mother seemed reluctant to give me a contact number but got one eventually. So anyway playdate went well but mother was 4 hours late picking her DD up and phone number turned out to be a wrong number. I was panic stricken thinking something had happened to the mum the child became increasingly anxious and upset and said that her mum always does this. When the mother did turn up she did not offer any excuse or apology and proceeded to berate me for giving her daughter a glass of coke. She called it poor parenting to give children those nasty additives. I replied " no love, poor parenting is abandoning your child with a perfect stranger with no means of contact" and shut the door before she could utter another word. Child was never invited back and have heard from other mums in the class that she's done that trick to them. Shame really as the child is an absolute sweetheart.

GoSuckEggs Tue 23-Apr-13 11:25:21

These people are crazy!!!

cocolepew Tue 23-Apr-13 11:56:08

Best thread ever, I'm still gobsmacked by the audacity of people!

Blu Tue 23-Apr-13 12:05:11

I turned up at a friend's house once to spend the evening with her - she had, admittedly, suffered some very bad trouble, and i was going round to keep her company / drown her sorrows / offer shoulder to cry on. When I arrived she said 'oh, so and so invited me out on a date so I thought that as you were coming here anyway you could babysit' - and off she waltzed!!

I have a friend who let a mate stay in her flat while she went on holiday. When she got home he had decided she should move and had put her flat up on a council flat swap website, and was showing someone round!!

MrsBodger Tue 23-Apr-13 12:20:47

Fab thread. I've wasted the entire morning.

My small contribution. Ahem.

My lovely old school friend and her also lovely husband have 2 small (at the time) children. Both work full time, so had a nanny. Being lovely, when the nanny's mother was very ill, they of course let her have all the time off she needed, no problem.

Then, she told them she needed to take the next week off to have an operation. She didn't tell them what the op was for, and they, being lovely, didn't ask, just felt sorry for her, rearranged their schedules (again), took holiday to look after the children (again) etc. Nanny comes back after her op with . . . massive boobs. She said she didn't think they'd notice.

I've remembered one.

Our first house was tiny but dh and I love entertaining. We had a small garden but it did ok for bbqs. One day we were having friends round. About 6/8 adults plus their dcs. A couple who have a lovely ds the same age as my ds1 were coming but rang up an hour before to say they'd forgotten they'd made plans with some other friends and would we mind if they all came along.

Our general hosting of bbqs is that we will do the food but it was a byo alcohol thing. We said of course it's fine and don't worry etc, bring them along.

They turned up with 13 extra adults and 6 extra dcs. They brought 6 beers with them and as a tub of coleslaw as a contribution.

*and a tub

ilovexmastime Tue 23-Apr-13 12:46:12

Loving this!

My DH has quite a few cheeky fucker friends, but this story is my favourite because it combines two of his friends being cheapskates in one story.

We were invited to DH's friend's wedding a few years ago. DH and x had been friends for years but I'd only met x's girlfriend twice, and not been impressed either time (they'd come round one afternoon and despite me trying to be friendly, offering her a drink etc, she had curled up on the sofa (feet up for those who care!) and gone to sleep for the afternoon while x and my DH watched the rugby).
Anyway, DH told me that the wedding reception was going to be at our local curry house and I was a bit hmm but then thought, well it's their wedding so they can do what they like, and DH told me that it was going to be great, that they'd arranged a banquet, including freshly caught curried fish.
So the wedding went ok and we were sat at a table with another of DH's friends at the reception, and I liked the wife so that was good. These friends left fairly early to get back for the babysitter, and then when we went to leave we discovered:

1. We had to pay for our meal and drinks
2. DH's friends had left without paying for their drinks (and they were hammered) and because we were sat on their table we had to pay for their drinks (or cause a fuss, which DH refused to do)
This was not an accident by the way, they'd done it on purpose (there are plenty more stories of this particular friend's stinginess).

This was bad enough, but I was 8 months pregnant and had only had one soft drink and DH had only had 4-5 beers - the amount we had to pay for, if he had have drunk them he'd have been hospitalised!
Plus, we had given the happy couple money as a present and we never got a thank you - in person or by card - in fact, what cheesed me off the most was that the wedding couple didn't even acknowledge we were there. Most brides/grooms tend to go round and thank people for coming to their wedding and try to have a brief chat with their guests, but we were just ignored!

and breath...

sherbetpips Tue 23-Apr-13 12:46:15

my SIL used to constantly drop her DS off at ours stating - just popping to the shops with my mum it will be good for our DS's to play together. Woudn't even ring beforehand. Would then go shopping for the whole day and ask - did you feed him when she returned, adding such comments as - didnt save any for us then.
Have put a stop to that.

expatinscotland Tue 23-Apr-13 12:46:39

My cousin's ex wife tried to pull a cheeky stunt when his sister got married. His sister was the only girl and their dad was giving her a big, Mexican wedding - wedding Mass in the late afternoon on a Saturday, followed immediately by sit-down meal reception and mariachi band/band dancing and open bar.

Invitations were sent out with postage-stamped RSVP cards. His ex wrote +18 on theirs.

My aunt rang her up, what is this? She wanted to bring her family along because they needed a good night out. shock

Auntie set her straight and also informed her that if she brought along extras they would be shown the door.

ilovexmastime Tue 23-Apr-13 12:48:35

oh, and I forgot to say that the 'banquet' was hardly enough food per person for a 5 year old. If we'd just ordered off the normal menu it would have cost a quarter of the price and been 4 times as much food!

MeNeedShoes Tue 23-Apr-13 12:55:26

FFS, who are all these cunty people???

Mexican house thief is the king of course but he's so mad it's funny. I can't help getting angry at the more everyday acts of unreasonableness!

sherbetpips Tue 23-Apr-13 12:57:58

Love the client from hell link - I deal with this daily and am in the middle of just such a project!

AaDB Tue 23-Apr-13 12:59:55

Bibi I would love to prepare a 'likelihood that AaDB will stay late on Friday AGAIN instead of going for a cocktail' piechart.

Sunny - my OH will love those.

I have a friend who had a few tough years finding a stable job teaching. About a year or two ago, she threw in the towel scrounging for a position at home and moved abroad to teach at an international school in Europe. During her spring break, she told me she was back in the city, and would DH and I like to have her for a couple of nights? Of course. Would be great to catch up. No problem.

When we picked her up that night, she informed us she hated the school she was working in, had quit her job with no notice period (basically gone on vacation and not gone back), abandoned her apartment, and all of her worldly things were now in a suitcase while she was waiting for a new teaching contract in Asia to come through. While this was a bit startling, we didn't think much of it and brought her home for a two-night visit.

After she set up in our spare room and we'd had a few glasses of wine catching up, my friend informed us that the accommodation she'd arranged with another friend had fallen through, she had no place to stay for three weeks, could she please stay at our "lovely" place with its convenient spare room, and no, the Asian job had not yet actually sent a contract through. But she was sure she would be moving to Asia in "only" three weeks. Oh, and she had very little money left in her account, having quit her job and all that, so she couldn't afford to stay in a nice hotel. We told her we couldn't put her up, so she made a big show of visiting a few much cheaper hostels in the area and said to us, "No, they won't do." DH and I still told her we couldn't put her up, so she flounced off to another city.

Months later, we tried to bury the hatchet and she apologized to me. And then a couple months after that, she had a bad day at work and wrote a long email to me about how cold I had been, and how her real friends had nothing but sympathy for her because, after all, she had been homeless sad .

Hall of fame worthy? grin

expatinscotland Tue 23-Apr-13 13:26:19

Bravo for not putting up with her pisstaking, Probably smile.

kerala Tue 23-Apr-13 14:05:54

Wow these are jaw dropping! My chores are piling up because I cant stop reading! Sadly dont really have any tales but have thrown people out of my house before and can recommend it as being great fun and empowering.

I host foreign students, paying guests, who are mostly Italian and Spanish teenage girls studying at local language schools. Most are absolutely fine and pleasant. One set of 3 looked like trouble from the off and asked if they could smoke in the house to which they were told of course not hmm. Next day they left for school sure enough their room was a fug of fag smoke. I called their teachers and told them to come back, pack their things and leave. The girls were gobsmacked - I dont think any adult had ever followed through before. I was perfectly pleasant and calm but it was so empowering saying you lied to me, disobeyed me in my own home off you go! They were billeted to a crap house way out of town, they trailed off looking very hard done by ha ha ha their weeks holiday pretty much spoilt by their own entitled behaviour.

EccentricElastic Tue 23-Apr-13 14:16:23

Kerala Love it!

Portofino Tue 23-Apr-13 14:59:48

Nothing on the scale of some of these horrors! One day DH and I found ourselves childfree for the day so I posted on FB that we were popping out for a long, leisurely lunch and a wander round the shops to take advantage of the peace and quiet.

5 minutes later, a friend calls to say she saw we were going out for the day and as we were unencumbered with child could we take her's out with us instead as he was driving her mad. hmm Yeah right.

kerala Tue 23-Apr-13 15:25:23

Oh remembered my worst. Lived with a flatmate in my early twenties just the two of us. We were great pals and had fun being single girls about town. I was in my first job, trainee solicitor small firm, earning barely enough to pay the rent/buy food but was very proud that I was getting by.

Flatmate gets swept off her feet by older guy at work. He worked in iT at her law firm, so decent salary must have been mid thirties, drove a RED BMW etc. His tenancy ended so he moved in. And paid NOTHING towards rent or bills. So basically I was subbing him big time he was a big earner and I wasn't. To make it worse they would snog and grope each other on the sofa leaving me feeling as if I shouldn't be there. I ended up working late and taking up lots of new sports. He cooked dinner for me once, which they both made a huge fuss of. It was awful I felt really on the back foot. It only really occurred to me when my mum said at least having him around meant I paid less rent, and I wasn't I was just being royally shafted!

Eventually they moved out and we became no longer friends. They actually got married in haste and I wasn't even asked to the wedding or hen night (didn't care but still interesting that I had been cast as a villain somehow when actually I had been a doormat, he lived with us for months). Hilariously I bumped into her in the middle of India whilst on holiday with DH she was with a different husband hmm. She was weird and despicable and hope she reads this and identifies herself! Bumping into her was so awkward all my anger flooded back she was being all friendly and I wasn't even polite (I am normally very friendly socially conscious etc). I was sunbathing by the pool the next day and she came out, saw I was there and scuttled back into their room grin.

kerala Tue 23-Apr-13 15:26:29

Oh and something else. She applied for a job at the firm I was working at. My boss showed me her CV. SHE HAD COPIED MY INTERESTS! She had no hobbies except shagging married men whilst I played sports/involved in trade committee etc. She had lifted all my interests into her CV.

Fluffycloudland77 Tue 23-Apr-13 16:14:04

One of my in-laws used to get me to go around to her house to do her feet (I'm a podiatrist) and never do anything for dh and I.

I wouldn't hear from her unless she wanted free treatment.

One day, before a big family event I did her feet and cut her. I swear on my life it was accidental but she never asked me back.

I deflect piss takers now with a £30 treatment fee and 45p a mile mileage charge.

I still do pil for free.

MexicanHouseThief Tue 23-Apr-13 17:51:26

My best friend was once charged £10 for a lift back from a wedding. Not so cheeky, you might think, except:

the driver was her sister
sis was driving past her house anyway

BalloonSlayer Tue 23-Apr-13 18:05:00

flossieraptor I actually think your story has made me feel the most sad and angry of all these I have read on here. The utter cow!

NatashaBee Tue 23-Apr-13 18:12:41

Mexican House Thief is still winning, but '+18' has left me with my mouth hanging open too. How do people grow up thinking it's OK to be this entitled, without someone setting them straight?

Deathwatchbeetle Tue 23-Apr-13 19:01:26

Ihearsounds -You forgot asking if someone could babysit your lovely children then p*ss off with a blike, get drunk, wander back the next morning!!

BibiBlocksberg Tue 23-Apr-13 19:01:32

I hold this thread fully responsible for an utterly unproductive day at work! IT boffins will have been sending panicked reports about my time spent on MN to my manager today and I cared not a jot blush

Oh, also found an amusing pie chart creator so will get right on that cocktail/leaving work assignment AaDB smile

Deathwatchbeetle Tue 23-Apr-13 19:01:48

or even a bloke...

hellsbells76 Tue 23-Apr-13 23:19:21

There was the acquaintance who asked for money gifts from people who hadn't been invited to his wedding. I had a thread about it. That was fun grin

hellsbells76 Tue 23-Apr-13 23:28:32
CheerfulYank Tue 23-Apr-13 23:39:43

Hells that is hilarious. grin

Sunnywithshowers Tue 23-Apr-13 23:57:13

I remember that thread. grin

Ooh, that was priceless! I wonder if anyone did turn up to the wedding uninvited and cause a scene?!

hellsbells76 Wed 24-Apr-13 08:31:51

I saw one of our mutual friends the other day and meant to ask but forgot. I really, really hope so.

McKayz Wed 24-Apr-13 08:34:03

I remember that thread too Hells. I've no idea how anyone could be so cheeky.

flossieraptor Wed 24-Apr-13 11:15:49

balloon, she is indeed. It was the way she kicked me when I was down! But her DH is such a good friend I try and take it on the chin. She has done several similarly jaw-dropping things since.

I once shared a house with some friends who brought their washing up and an Australian guy with them to the new house. He had been sleeping on their sofa in their previous house so had apparently just got packed up and brought. He stayed about 6 months, then went away traveling, then came back and tried to move back in and in fact succeeded. He used to complain if we drew the curtains in the sitting room before midday and never paid a penny towards any bills. Eventually one of the other residents went on tour for 5 weeks and asked 'lodger' to rent his room off him. He agreed and took the room - but never paid and did a runner without even saying goodbye. I bumped into him on his way to the tube and thought he looked a bit shifty!

I also had a friend who was incredibly tight. Once she arrived for dinner at our house with a bottle of wine that I then saw her tuck behind some other stuff on the counter. When she was leaving, she whipped it out and said blithely, oh as we haven't drunk my wine I'll take it home with me shock. I hadn't seen her for years when we met at a wedding overseas. She told me it had cost them quite a lot to get there and she might well be asking to borrow some money off me but would 'see how they got on'. Honestly, it had been 15 years! I was disappointed in the end that she didn't give me the opportunity to tell her to eff off.

MrsMangelFanciedPaulRobinson Wed 24-Apr-13 13:49:23

I think I am a cheek magnet, but worst ever case of cheek was when an ex friend railroaded me into giving her my DS's pram for her friend who didn't have much money. It was a lovely pram and had cost £600 brand new. I was planning on selling it but this friend went on and on. Gave it to her for her friend, she said her friend loved it etc etc.

About a month later I saw on a Facebook selling page that my 'friend' was advertising my pram for sale! I tackled her and she said that her friend didn't like it but I think there was no friend that needed a pram. I insisted on having it back, and my ex friend made a big fuss to mutual friends, saying how unreasonable I was, and how I'd given it to her to do what she liked with, and now thanks to me asking for it back (she couriered it back) she had no money for food. Cheeky cow.

MexicanHouseThief Wed 24-Apr-13 14:36:01

Ooh, had a minor but definite cheek incident just this morning! I run a toddler group and we sometimes have local sellers come and set up a table so they can sell or advertise whatever it is they're doing. A few months ago, we had someone doing 'cast your child's fingerprints in silver'. A woman turned up about 30 minutes after the toddler group had started and when I asked her for entry money, she said 'oh no, I'm just popping in to get my kids' fingerprints cast'.

Mug that I am, I let her in. She stayed for the rest of the session, chatting and drinking tea, while her kids ran around playing. They left just before tidy up time hmm

This morning, we had a different seller in and lo and behold, cheeky mum appears again. She tried to breeze past me, saying 'I'm here to help X, do I have to pay?' Very cross face when I told her that yes, she did, and held my hand out for the money grin

Fluffycloudland77 Wed 24-Apr-13 16:03:38

She obviously does this at every play group the hand print lady does. What a cheek.

BalloonSlayer Wed 24-Apr-13 16:18:09

I overheard a discussion between some children of 12 or 13 today who were talking about what pocket money they get. Quite a few said "I don't get pocket money, I just ask for money when I need it." shock

I do wonder how they are going to turn out as young adults, whether they will still think they can just ask people for money and be given it just like that. Surely pocket money is a good way to teach saving/budgeting/ thinking "do I really want to spend all my money on this." ??