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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think this is a bit cheeky or do I need to relax a bit?

251 replies

NotActuallyAMum · 17/03/2014 12:36

A work colleague of mine did me a favour recently – saved us about £50 – so as a thank you I offered him a couple of nights in our static caravan. I said that if he goes straight there after work on a Friday he’ll be there by about half 6 then if he leaves around the same time on Sunday he’ll have 2 full days there. I warned him that we wouldn’t be moving our belongings out of the way because there’ll still be plenty of room for the two of them. He took me up on the offer, which I was pleased about – I wanted to return the favour

I’ve just seen that he’s booked the Friday and Monday of that weekend off work, presumably to spend 4 nights at our caravan instead of the 2 that I offered. Additionally, someone else who works here sees a lot of this person out of work – the two of them and their wives spend a lot of time together and I’ve noticed that he has also booked the Friday and Monday off work, making me think that they are planning on going too

I could be wrong of course but it seems too much of a coincidence for there to be any other explanation. Isn’t this a bit cheeky?

OP posts:
Original poster
NotActuallyAMum · 15/05/2014 15:49

MrsRuff it was too much of a coincidence that they both booked the 2 days' holiday so soon after me telling him he could go to the caravan

And yes you're spot on - we wouldn't have had a problem with any of it had he been up front about it

OP posts:
Original poster
NotActuallyAMum · 15/05/2014 15:52

Thank you OnlyLovers, good to know someone agrees with me that they were cheeky Smile

OP posts:
KoalaFace · 15/05/2014 15:56

Shock cheeky bugger!

Shinyfly · 15/05/2014 16:04

I don't get this either. If you're not using it and they don't break anything I don't see what the issue is. Can I ask what the original favour was?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/05/2014 16:04

If it’s a problem I can put them off?

Typical passive aggressive nonsense, trying to make you look like the mean one

That's the trouble with having a holiday place - people push their luck constantly. My cousin has a lovely caravan in Devon, and on hearing about it her neighbour said "oh wonderful, my son and his mate will be able to use it"

Unfortunately they're drunken thugs with siginificant criminal records, but my cousin's a gentle and generous soul who prefers to be diplomatic. It took ages for the neighbour to take on board that they would NOT be using the caravan; she just kept on and on .....

Original poster
NotActuallyAMum · 15/05/2014 16:13

Shinyfly the original favour was a bit of work he did on DHs car, it only took him half an hour but we needed it doing urgently - in time for a trip to the caravan in fact. We just feel that we've given him an inch and he's tried to take a mile

Puzzledandpissedoff (love the name Grin) we've had similar with one of my pisshead nephews: "Oh great! A family caravan!" Err...no I don't think so

OP posts:
middleagedspread · 15/05/2014 16:13

I'd be put out. You offered 2 people, 2 nights. He proposes 4 people , 4 nights.
He's rude, you're not.

SarcyMare · 15/05/2014 16:23

is the extra night actually costing you anything? is it actually inconveniencing(damn spelling) you in any way?
if not what is the problem?

Original poster
NotActuallyAMum · 15/05/2014 16:28

Thank you middleagedspread Smile

SarcyMare we could have charged at least £40 a night for the caravan, and any extra nights they might have helped themselves to would have meant more gas and electric than we had planned. No inconvenience but the problem is what middleagedspread said - we offered 2 people 2 nights and they tried to help themselves to 4 people for 4 nights which we think is taking the piss

OP posts:
itiswhatitiswhatitis · 15/05/2014 16:31

I think the problem is that our of courtesy he should have asked. Plus where do you draw the line with these things?

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 15/05/2014 16:34

Yes he is cheeky.
I can understand him wanting to set off early and have an extra night there, making the most of your offer.
However he has had since March to ask you if he could stay Thursday night through to Monday afternoon, without being too cheeky. Leaving it till today is not fair really.
Also inviting others to stay in your caravan without your consent is not on at all.
Had he asked at the time, or even in the weeks after, that would not have been too bad. But telling you at the last minute is very cheeky.
These additional guests are not friends of yours, and I can understand why you might not want them in your space without your prior knowledge.
I however would never take advantage of such a kind offer Wink "hint hint" Grin

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 15/05/2014 16:34

The problem is they didn't check, you may have had someone else in it on either Thursday or Sunday evening. Cheeky lot.

MyLatest · 15/05/2014 16:35

I agree he was a bit cheeky and it was a shame he didn't just ask. He was overstepping.

OddFodd · 15/05/2014 16:39

The problem is that she offered 2 adults 2 nights in her caravan as a thank you - not 4 people 4 nights. That's just bloody cheeky.

I am shocked that anyone thinks it's okay. I'll try that next time I rent a holiday house - take double the number of people and stay double the time I've paid for and see if they mind Hmm

pluCaChange · 15/05/2014 16:43

I remember when you first posted about this! You handled it rather graciously. Smile

Original poster
NotActuallyAMum · 15/05/2014 16:44

Nice to know that most people agree with me, I knew I'd get honest opinions on here Smile

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
NotActuallyAMum · 15/05/2014 16:45

Thank you pluCaChange I have to admit I've been dreading the time coming but I've tried not to think about it too much (honest...)

OP posts:
LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 15/05/2014 16:47

Yay! I shall pack my bags ready Grin

Worth a try, and still not as cheeky as your "friend" Wink

Llareggub · 15/05/2014 16:52

It's quite normal to take a day off either side of 2 nights away I think. I use my mother's caravan quite a bit and load up my car with duvets, sheets, pillows as well as food, clothes etc. I have been known to take a PS2 for those rainy nights! It all takes time and I like to drive down and stop on the way for provisions.

Coming back I quite like the luxury of a day at home to sort it all out, do the washing etc. It can be a bit exhausting doing it all on the Sunday.

It is a bit weird about the other people. I'd just ask.

NatashaBee · 15/05/2014 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly · 15/05/2014 17:06

Why would you offer your (currently empty) caravan to someone for the use of two people for two nights? Confused
If it was a hotel stay you were paying for; fair enough, you get to state the boundaries, but a caravan off season that you weren't using anyway??
What bloody difference did it make?

If you have seriously been obsessing about this for months (Hmm), perhaps it's best if you don't do any more "favours" for people who mightn't realise what a huge issue this is for you.
I certainly wouldn't have

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 15/05/2014 17:07

Of course it's a piss take. I bet those saying they can't see what the problem is wouldn't say the same if it was paid for. It's upto the op who stays in her property and how long for not a freeloading group of pisstakers. "Ok, I see the 2 days of completely free accommodation and utilities you are offering. However I'm going to double your generosity without asking you. Cheers!" Op, next time he does your car you know you have to turn up with a friend and her car in tow don't you? "Did I not tell you Jane needed her brakes sorting?! I thought I did. Oh well."

OddFodd · 15/05/2014 17:18

FloggingMolly - really? You don't think twice the number of people for twice the length of time the OP offered is taking the piss? Twice the wear and tear and twice the gas/electricity?

Can I come and stay then? One night for one person that you haven't invited should be absolutely fine

Greyhound · 15/05/2014 17:22

God, that's really cheeky! He's bringing another couple? That's well out of order.

Pastperfect · 15/05/2014 17:26

What a load of passive aggressive bollocks from the pair of you.

I really don't see the big deal -one bloody night of extra gas or whatever. You're not there. You're not losing money. He did you a favour which actually cost him his time and convenience. I don't suppose he'll bother next time give that you have been deliberately and obviously awkward.