No I don't think the new TA is 'wonderful' because he has an 'XY chromosome' [titled edited by MNHQ]

[dayshiftdoris]

Just that really...

Son has a new TA at school and I am becoming increasingly.... bemused I think by the comments about why the other think it's the best thing that's ever happened to my son...

'Being a man it changes the dynamic'
'He has that, you know... male presence'

And my personal favourite so far...
'He has that strong authoritative male voice'

Now this TA is great but it's early days and everyone is great at this stage but I have never experienced such expression of positivity about previous female TAs from staff

All of the people saying it are women - sensible, intelligent women who clearly see absolutely nothing wrong with it as they gush (literally falling over their words) this at me in front of their head
Interestingly the head doesn't join in and does not catch my eye when this is being said
For what it's worth he's had male teachers previously (and we had similar gushing) and he's never been hugely bothered. The best relationship he has was with the tiniest, most petite female you ever did see

Am I wrong in thinking that this TA will be either good or not, based purely on his personality and his skills as a TA and not just because he has a penis?
Similarly a female's natural maternal attributes are irrelevant too

I am not angry about this - bemused is the right word. The biggest issue I have is that I am likely to say something 'witty' in response when they are deadly serious...
(Wouldn't be the first time)

Arghh at the new title! ( biology pedant, the name is a clue!)

Monica I'd be genuinely interested to hear what you believe the perceived blocks are to men applying for Primary teaching. (Mine was the first of your quotes.)
Teaching is a job where absolutely anyone with a degree or relevant qualifications can apply. Just because such a majority are female, it doesn't automatically follow that men feel unable to do so.

But OP that just means that they used the wrong methods for your son. It doesn't discount the fact that male teachers are better for boys on the whole.

Teaching particularly in primary, is a female dominated career, I don't know why but it is.

My partner has nearly finished his teacher training and will begin his NQT year in September. He has a job lined up for September and was the first in his year group to achieve this. It would be a real shame if parents thought he got the job because of his gender. He was the best candidate for the job and that's all that should matter.

Because it is low paid conpared to other careers, and you work school hours, so suits mums.

It is low status too.

It is tough work that is not properly remunerated.

The main reason is that it's already a female dominated profession at primary so that is an offputting reason for some males who don't want to be seen in such a profession.
In that case, Kim, teaching's better off without men who have that kind of perception of the job. The vast majority of the men I trained with were great chaps who just wanted to learn, work hard and make a difference.

I do think that some men - as well as women - perceive primary teaching as 'not masculine'. It's got a very different status to it than being a secondary science of maths teacher - which is clearly manly, and involves teaching manly subjects. ;) Or PE - that's manly, teaching footie or rugby but not gymnastics. The female PE teacher should be teaching that :) Even within staffrooms the 'lower' down the primary age groups you go, the less 'status' is often assigned to the teacher. Year 6 teachers are often seen as higher status than Year 1, for example. As if it is somehow an easier job 'lower down' (where you are actually teaching them to read and write, for heaven's sake).

I think there are lots of reasons fewer men go into primary teaching that secondary teaching. Statistically though men in primary are far more likely to get promoted than women - hence the statistically disproportionate number of male primary head teachers.

Oh, I was only joking when I said "how do you know he even has a penis" lol

Great

So you are saying that between a male and female who approach my son in the right way the man will be better for him purely because he is a man?

Sorry I don't agree - so many variables to that exist...

Any kind of sweeping generalisation is dangerous.

I know Fiscal but it did offend others and have to accept it was a childish

Anyway MN - how do I deal with it?

Why do you need to "deal" with it?

Why cant he turn out to be great at his job?

It would be sexist of you to discriminate him on the basis of his sex.

Jon, to answer your question - what everyone else just said!

I think that the more men that go into primary teaching, the less it will be seen to be the female preserve (by the young boys going through primary with a male teacher), just as for me as a young girl starting out in my job I had NO females in high positions to aspire to, now (19 years later) there are a few of us that have worked up the ladder, so the new youngsters coming in see it as 'normal', not unusual.

The opportunities to apply are equal, but the reality is not iyswim.

Erm it's other people's sexism that I might have to deal with - not my own...

He's been with him 10 days and I have had 4 of these comments levelled at me, unprovoked... All assuming he will be fantastic because he's a man... No other reason...

I may need to deal with it because moving forward we need to understand what works for my son and what doesn't... 'A man' isn't helpful because I can't guarantee him a completely male education...

Plus I think the TA should be recognised for the work he is putting in...

Dayshift, I agree with what you're saying wholeheartedly - it is not actually fair on the male teacher to be put on the pedestal he has been, because he knows that people are not judging him on his achievements, but on his gender.

I would deal with the gushers by saying what a shame it is that people are judging him on his being a bloke and that hopefully people will give him a chance to show what he can do. "Gosh, I can imagine how those women in a male environment must feel now - how awful to be judged on your appearance and not your abilities".

I'm sorry if I came across as arsey to anyone in my first post, I just got very, very cross reading some of the posts

No you hven't got it right - women are XX and men are XY, your gender is decided by the absence of some of the genes on the part of the x brhomosome that you dont get. The Y chromosome is effectiely a X chromosme with about half of it missing. HTH :)

Sorry just sniggering at what the LAs reaction would be if we asked for amendment to son's statement to include 'must have access to a member of staff with a deep, authoritative voice'

LEM I am aware of that but REALLY it's a Sunday - gimme a break... I took willies out of the equation

Do you want the male TA to "succeed" in his job?

Monica - excellent... Thank you much better than any sarcastic version I would come up with

YANBU. DS2 has a male TA who is incredibly patronising to parents. However the male midwife I saw yesterday was brilliant.

I've met good and bad TA's, teachers, midwives, dr's etc, men and women.

Tiaramusu

Do I want him to succeed?

Do you know how much we went through to transition him (very quickly) from his old TA?

A lot...

You don't just play musical TAs for the fun of it - there were circumstances outside of anyone's control that prompted this move... I don't want to do it again this school year at the very least...

So yes I want it to succeed and I want us (school and I) to recognise what made it work so we can build those elements into future support