No I don't think the new TA is 'wonderful' because he has an 'XY chromosome' [titled edited by MNHQ]

[dayshiftdoris]

Just that really...

Son has a new TA at school and I am becoming increasingly.... bemused I think by the comments about why the other think it's the best thing that's ever happened to my son...

'Being a man it changes the dynamic'
'He has that, you know... male presence'

And my personal favourite so far...
'He has that strong authoritative male voice'

Now this TA is great but it's early days and everyone is great at this stage but I have never experienced such expression of positivity about previous female TAs from staff

All of the people saying it are women - sensible, intelligent women who clearly see absolutely nothing wrong with it as they gush (literally falling over their words) this at me in front of their head
Interestingly the head doesn't join in and does not catch my eye when this is being said
For what it's worth he's had male teachers previously (and we had similar gushing) and he's never been hugely bothered. The best relationship he has was with the tiniest, most petite female you ever did see

Am I wrong in thinking that this TA will be either good or not, based purely on his personality and his skills as a TA and not just because he has a penis?
Similarly a female's natural maternal attributes are irrelevant too

I am not angry about this - bemused is the right word. The biggest issue I have is that I am likely to say something 'witty' in response when they are deadly serious...
(Wouldn't be the first time)

Apologies for my use of penis in the original title - MN have changed it for me

How strange, what's wrong with using penis in a thread title?!

Well I did say that

Could argue about a lot of things about gender but bottom line is do you want to be judged on what you do or what other people perceive your gender role to be...

Janine

Quite rightly it was pointed out that I don't know he has a penis and my use of the word was childish so I asked MNHQ to edit

And as Kim pointed out I still got the edit wrong...

Its not an xy chromosome, its a y chromosome. Or has xy chromosomes !!!

There is definitely a different dynamic witha male ta at nursery. My dd's key worker was male. He was great. But not because he was male. But definitely different. Not authoritative though. If anything the kids had him wrapped around their little fingers.

I thought I had put chromosomes but then be thankful the word chromosome was there at all because at first my phone liked chronometer better

Completely different conversation

Being male might help you get a job in some circumstances in early education. I'm sure the FWR posse will be along to agree with positive role models in male/female dominated areas, but if you can't do the job you'll tend to get caught out and end up being a negative role model. I don't think my penis has ever opened doors.

It can also be a bit embarrassing for the men (in this case) to be praised for being men as much as doing their job.

BTW, the "...male voice = authoritative bit is kind of true. Deeper voices are more authoritative. It's why everybody lowers their voice when they want to tell children off.

Have to say that over the past 3 years son has had 5 TAs - only one of which was male yet none of the female were even remotely similar...

Each one of 5 TAs have brought a different dynamic to his support - as has each teacher (4 in past 3 years), each head teacher (5 inc 2 acting in past 3years) and SENCOs (3 in past 3years).... There is a good split of male / female in all of that and they all brought a dynamic to the mix...

For me I have no opinion either way about this TA - he has been with him a week so it's early days...
If it works great but IME with my son it will only work if you work at it, take a lot of nonsense and get through the other side. So far so good I have asked son what he thinks so far and he shrugged and said 'alright'...

High praise indeed...

Oh and just to blast another misconception out of the water - if TA was to go in and talk football he would be completely wasting his breath... Son played rugby from little and now swims...

I've never really understood it either. Same applies to females on the board - it is great when gender gaps are eroded in any profession, but we should not automatically assume that people will be great at a job simply because they are from the sex least associated with the job.

Women like reasonable men.

Children like reasonable men.

YANBU at all. You made the wholly rational decision that the wondefulness or otherwise of the TA is not based on the novelty value of his gender.

MN is being a bit unreasonable by editing the thread title.

And getting the basic biology of it wrong.

What on earth is wrong with the word penis in a thread title? 'Penis' is not an offensive or vulgar term. It is just a word like arm, leg or breast which describes part of the body.

MN is being VU. OP, not.

BTW, the "...male voice = authoritative bit is kind of true. Deeper voices are more authoritative. It's why everybody lowers their voice when they want to tell children off.

Deeper voices aren't more authoritative, we are simply socialised into thinking that they are. Mary Beard has a good piece about the female voice and authority here.

ok i retract as i see MN didn't make the thread change title :)

I thought there was evidence that boys particularly benefitted from male teachers, more so than girls which us why it is a good thing? Obviously not if they're crap. But a good male teacher is better for boys than a good female teacher?

YANBU, it's straightforwardly sexist and very, very annoying. I've been on and witness to the corollary situation where a women has moved into a male.dominated environment. It's far from a gushing, "wow! Check out her delicate voice!" and more like, "o, it's amazing, she can actually do it!" As if she were massively disabled.by her gender but somehow managed to soldier on. So fucking annoying. I'm sorry but you only think little boys are terminally unable to connect with female teachers in the case that you think there is some unspeakably massive difference between men and women that can't be overcome by, you know, treating everyone as if they were human.

We have many male TA's at our school. I like it because it shows the boys that teaching is a perfectly normal profession for men. I haven't actually noticed any particular praise for the male TA's over the female ones.

As a single parent I quite like having males around in the playground (playground is heavily staffed with TA's who arrange lunchtime sports) as DS doesn't have a dad at home.

I've been guilty of this.

Teaching quality aside - DS definitely models himself more on male teachers (I want a red bike like Mr X.; Mr X says street dancing is cool; Mr X always has a healthy breakfast and it gives him energy for sports). He seeks male teachers approval more - and tries harder in their lessons.

It's cheesy and cliched - but gender does matter for role models. In the female dominated world of primary teaching - I am always enthusiastic about male teachers & TAs.

Kew

My son doesn't have a dad at home but what I appreciate is the adults at school working with me to support my son... Again being male or not is irrelevant

FWIW the last head and current deputy head is male and both were / are heavily involved in pastoral care yet my son really did / does not respond well to them... Why? Because they both used a lot of verbal reasoning with him which being autistic he can't process... Any adult who approaches him like that doesn't work for him - current head is quiet, barely speaks and thankfully new TA appears to be very similar from what I have seen... Yes even with his deep male voice

My son may well get a lot from this new TA but similarly I will not allow the work and effort he puts in to be minimised as an side effect of his gender... If this works it will be down to him understanding and working hard with my son and with stand up for that very firmly...

Though I might have engage a sarcasm filter so I don't say 'so when are the rest of the staff exchanging a X chromosome for Y as a strategy for handling challenging behaviour?' in response to anymore maleness comments

*I will stand up for that NOT with stand sorry

Men have as much opportunity to apply for teaching as women, they clearly choose not to.

I've yet to have a male TA that goes that extra mile like some female TAs I know

I work in a v male dominated job. Over the years I have become sick to the back teeth of hearing " women have the same opportunities to apply for this type of job, they choose not to", and "women don't go that extra mile like blokes do".

Completely anecdotal, completely generalised and massively missing the point that just having the same opportunity to apply is not the same as encouraging a job to be non gender biased.

For all the mn "feminists" on this thread who are banging on about how him having a penis gets him special treatment - walk a mile in the shoes of a female in the minority who is constantly told that she is only getting on because she has tits, not because she's good at her job.

Exactly Monica

I want his work (or lack of it) to be recognised regardless of his gender... It grates immensely that intelligent women think it's ok to say 'oh he will be good for him because he's a man'

Bollocks... He will good for him because he is himself with skills and personality that are not born out of his X and Y chromosomes (have I finally got it right)...

My sons head is so going if I have to mention this one