No I don't think the new TA is 'wonderful' because he has an 'XY chromosome' [titled edited by MNHQ]

[dayshiftdoris]

Just that really...

Son has a new TA at school and I am becoming increasingly.... bemused I think by the comments about why the other think it's the best thing that's ever happened to my son...

'Being a man it changes the dynamic'
'He has that, you know... male presence'

And my personal favourite so far...
'He has that strong authoritative male voice'

Now this TA is great but it's early days and everyone is great at this stage but I have never experienced such expression of positivity about previous female TAs from staff

All of the people saying it are women - sensible, intelligent women who clearly see absolutely nothing wrong with it as they gush (literally falling over their words) this at me in front of their head
Interestingly the head doesn't join in and does not catch my eye when this is being said
For what it's worth he's had male teachers previously (and we had similar gushing) and he's never been hugely bothered. The best relationship he has was with the tiniest, most petite female you ever did see

Am I wrong in thinking that this TA will be either good or not, based purely on his personality and his skills as a TA and not just because he has a penis?
Similarly a female's natural maternal attributes are irrelevant too

I am not angry about this - bemused is the right word. The biggest issue I have is that I am likely to say something 'witty' in response when they are deadly serious...
(Wouldn't be the first time)

DS1 is in year 1 and has had a male teacher and trainee teacher. He responded to them both very well, always full of stories about things they did or said. I know there's more to teaching than that but I felt it was such a positive thing for him to have teachers who are more in tune with the workings of a small boy's mind. Other than that he is rather overwhelmed with females since there are only 7 boys in his class of 30!

So - I understand your point OP but I do think that men and women tend to bring different sorts of qualities.

DS2 didn't have a male teacher or TA until Year 6. It was a revelation. He actually had long conversations with a teacher, about stuff males like to talk about. is that so bad?

There are a few male teachers at my children's primary. Some are brilliant and some are just ok.
Unfortunately one section of mums treats them like bloody heros for doing exactly the same as female teachers!!!!!

Are you forgetting that boys have penises too?
I think it's great for young males to have adult male role models in school.Maybe not for your DS, but for lots of boys it really helps them engage with school
Good for the girls too, to see men involved in child orientated provision.At my Dcs gymnastics club, all teh children want to be with the male coaches!

I think ya being a bit u. Our infant school does not have one male teacher. It is a 3 soon to be 4 class intake plus must so its quite big. Once my fs1 said he didn't want to go to school because all the teachers were girls (he was in y1). I was authorised he noticed or was bothered. I think in ideal world it would be 50:50, but that is not going to happen. For the moment a bit of positive discrimination is not wrong.

Plus NURSERY

Dearie me. On phone. fs1 is ds1. Authorised is surprised

I don't get this argument that because so few men want to teach it's fair to rate the abilities of the ones who do more highly than women.

I notice women never gain when breaking into actual new areas.

Women have to prove themselves as great before they're taken seriously, men have to prove themselves incompetent before they're taken unseriously.

I'd worry about the message that children might pick up from this sexism. Obviously it depends on what they hear, overhear or the vibe they pick up. But the message male = authoritative" implies "female = ..."

Breatheslowly neither of my son's male teachers could be described as having an authorative voice! One was definitely under the thumb of his female TA! But they did connect so well with the boys in the class.

This is so obviously sexist. People should be judged on how well they do a job, not whether they are women or men.

And those who think having a role model is more important than whether someone is good at their job - should we hire black teaching staff to be role models, even if they are not great at their job? I am pretty sure you would think that is unfair.

The harsh reality is that in our society, men are valued more highly than women. And that includes by other women.

My son has one male, one female teacher (Y3) and one is no more or less authoritative than the other. They have different skills and affinities, however, and on the whole DS responds better to the male teacher, as do many of the boys. I'm glad he has both.

However, I completely agree with fiscal that "because he has a penis" is a ridiculous and childish phrase

Ah, but what if he had two penises? What then, OP? What then?

(Feel free to try this one on the gushers. I'm guessing that the chap has a touch of the conventionally attractive about him, too.)

Grennie part of the job that they need to be good at is inspiring and connecting with the children. Men often bring different skills to women and in my experience can be better at engaging with boys. To compare saying tbat with saying one ethnicity or another is better is silly.

"Because he has a penis" is humorous shorthand for "Because he's male". Nothing to do with his actual penis. Just because it's not your sense of humour doesn't mean it's a ridiculous statement, it's hyperbole.

When I was 7-11 there were two male teachers at our junior school. There were no comments on this. Ever. The head was also male although not teaching staff, but had been earlier in his career.

As this is over 20 years ago I do wonder whether male TAs and primary teachers are seen as a big thing now as a kind of backlash to women doing jobs seen as stereotypically male?

It's also sitting through an interview where a male teacher sold himself purely in the fact that as a male the parents would be happy and we should be grateful he had applied as he was such a rare and valuable asset to a primary school. Then he winked.

I piped up when another woman at work was proclaiming how amazing another colleague was for being a single Dad. I earned myself a "look", when I said, more women are in that position and hardly ever get praised for it. It's a load a shite that somehow manages to bore the tits off me and irritate at the same time.
We also have "keep yourself nice" in our office. This applies to women only, of course.

ha ha
Did Mr Winky get the job?

Then he winked.
Pfffft! Did you swoon and giggle?

Yes indeed Bertie, childish and clichéd hyperbole that is so overused (esp on MN) it trivialises the point being made.

@ MNHQ!

There is such a massive disparity between the ratio of male to female teachers and the ratio of male to female head teachers- in primary schools especially.

I have experienced male staff being 'fast tracked' while equally talented female staff are not offered the same opportunities.

In my experience, the primary teaching profession is inherently sexist, favouring men.

Yabvu men and women are different. Having someone of the opposite gender can bring something new to things. It s good to alter the dynamic a bit.

I have definitely experienced the 'he's so wonderful because he's a man' attitude in schools, but just like female teachers, some are great and some are not.
The worst teacher I ever worked with was a man, and the best teacher I've known was also a man...
I do feel sorry for male teachers though, as there is often the expectation and pressure that they will come in, be sporty and talk about football and immediately bond with all the boys. Not all men are like this! In ds1's school, there are 2 male teachers, one is a gentle kind man with a passion for drama. The other is a inspiring humorous very young man who falls over his own feet at most opportunities. Despite this, and there being an excellent female PE coordinator, there is always grumbling from parents about why the men aren't running the sports. Grr!
Steps off soap box.