that parents should fucking ask me first before going out and leaving their son outside playing with mine ..

[ggirl]

kids are 10/11
playing happily which if fine
but I want to go out
ds's friends parents have buggered off somewhere so we have to wait for them to come home ......wankers

and i don't want to take their child with me

[PortofinoRevisited]

Blimey - I can't imagine leaving my 10 yo locked outside in the street and going out. Inside, yes. I know I was wandering all over at that age, but then we knew all the neighbours really well and there would have been someone on hand if there was an emergency. Times were very different.

[Nomama]

Kim, I suspect you and I grew up in a parallel universe.

[ggirl]

LOL I'd forgotten what aibu threads are like

[adoptmama]

It's surely only an issue if they are gone for hours and hours and hours and he is sitting out in the dark, cold and hungry! I'd presume they have gone to get the shopping or something and would be back by lunchtime. Maybe they asked him if he wanted to stay home, told him they were locking door etc. Just because it isn't a parenting choice some people would make does not make it inherently wrong. There is nothing to suggest they were making assumptions OP would watch the boy.

He's certainly old enough to play outside unsupervised for 2-3 hours, whether or not the door was locked. When we were kids we roamed for hours. We never had any sudden toilet emergencies that I remember! We survived if it unexpectedly rained. We run a very real risk these days of preventing our kids from doing anything outwith our helicoptering supervision. When will they ever take risks, test themselves, solve their own problems and learn self-reliance if they always have their parents hovering in the background ready to prevent the slightest discomfort or foray into independence. 10/11 is not a baby. 10/11 year olds do not need constant supervision or access to the toilet. They can survive without their parents being within immediate reach. They are not going to be abducted. We have lost all sense of proportion and are letting fear ruin our kids childhoods.

[PortofinoRevisited]

Less traffic predominantly, people knowing their neighbours much better etc

[expatinscotland]

I'd definitely have a go at someone who expected to be unpaid entertainment/responsibility for their kid without asking me first. That would well piss me off.

[ithaka]

girl, I agree your neighbours have been unreasonable. My youngest DD is great pals with the girl next door & the play together all the time. I would never go out leaving them playing together without speaking to the mum - who I get on well with, presumably because I don't take advantage. The girls are 10-11.

To me, it is standard to go round & find mum & say I need to go to the supermarket (or whatever) so I have come to get DD. If she feels like it, she may say, I'm not going anywhere, just leave her here. Or she may not, it is up to her. And it works the other way round - unless I am busy I am happy to keep an eye on her DD while she does an errand.

It does not mean I am watching the girls all the time - they may go down to the park together, or whatever. But I know that my neighbour is or isn't in, so if I am the responsible adult for both girls. This, to me, is normal neighbourly interaction.

[WillSingForCake]

What's he supposed to do if he gets hurt, or it starts to rain, or he wants a drink/pee/watch TV?

God forbid a child would have to wait to watch TV!

[GlaikitFizzog]

There is a difference to nipping out for an hour and disappearing without any explanation and the child not knowing when you are coming back.

I read from ops comments that 10/11 yo child left by parents playing outside for unknown length of time. Had op known it was only for a hour or so I doubt she would have posted anything.

[YouStayClassySanDiego]

Are the Parents back yet OP?

[adoptmama]

ithaka i would totally agree that is the neighbourly thing to do because you are wanting another adult to be responsible for your DD whilst you are out.

But maybe these parents did not feel the need to ask someone else to be responsible for their son because they felt at his age he was perfectly ok being alone for a couple of hours. In that case there is absolutely nothing wrong with them going out and leaving their son to play.

[HollyWhiteAlwaysWearsAHat]

This has happened to me a couple of times with different kids over the years. It's extremely annoying. I would be tempted to say just go out, because he is not your responsibility, and at 10 or 11 he'll be fine on his own for a few hours. However, if they've gone off and locked him out and no-one has any idea how long they'll be then I'd feel really mean just going out and leaving him on his own in the street.

[WillSingForCake]

Times were very different

Indeed, parents are far more overprotective & precious now. It's a shame, as children now have far less opportunities to learn independence.

[YouTheCat]

I think it very much depends on whether the parents have gone out thinking you will watch their child and whether they would be pissed off that you then went out and didn't, even though they haven't asked.

I do see nothing wrong with a 10 year old being out to play while the adults go and do something else so long as the child is fine with being left.

I was out the door playing all day at 5/6, though my parents wouldn't have buggered off without me. At 10 they would and did, but always said where they were going and when they'd be back.

[PunkrockerGirl]

You don't have to wait. Not your problem. You are not responsible for their children just because they happen to be playing with yours. End of.

[Thumbwitch]

Jesus - 6 & 7 year olds wandering around? How far from home?

When I was probably 8 or 9, my friends and I used to play out unsupervised, but never more than 5 minutes from home and always in a group, never on our own. I was allowed to go to the shops just up the road by myself at that age, but not to stay out if I was on my own. But it was in the time when I knew most of the neighbours, and if anything had been amiss, I could have knocked at a number of doors and known that the people inside would know who I was.
Great if you still live in a place like that, but it's not as common now as it was when I was a child!

And I wouldn't let DS1 do that now at all - he's 6 - we don't know anyone in our street for at least 1km; and we've had a few recent reports of attempted child abductions in the area.

[expatinscotland]

'Because he does not need anyone taking responsibility for him.'

Sure, age 10, age 11, just like an adult. Anything else is wrapping them up in cotton wool and ruining their childhood. Anything happens, they'll know exactly what to do, but it won't, of course.

I was living on my own by then, completely sensible, didn't need any adult to take responsibility for me.