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AIBU?

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Original poster

was I unreasonable to have these pics removed?

99 replies

realitygone · 15/03/2014 07:07

A family member who we are no contact with placed two happy birthday notices in the local newspaper / online these adds had their pictures, full dob and full name on.

I have had the paper remove them, anyone can view them and it makes them very identifiable and it scares the hell Out of me when the view count said 20! 20 people looked at my children without my permission

I don't thini I over reacted, however wondered if anyone thinks this is ok to do?.

OP posts:
LouiseSmith · 15/03/2014 07:10

I think it's a nice gesture by a family member.

What harm exactly can someone do by looking at a picture

Booboostoo · 15/03/2014 07:13

Why would it scare you? Presumably loads of people see your children on a daily basis anyway!

Seems like a nice gesture to me, shame you feel so weird about it.

TurnOffTheTv · 15/03/2014 07:16

People walking past them on the street don't have your permission either! Or sat on the next table in a cafe. Hundreds of people see your children I'm sure.

GertTheFlirt · 15/03/2014 07:17

No contact? grandparents or father? Not that it makes a difference, but you do hear stories where the RP deliberately isolates children from ex-ILs, returning presents, cards and the like. In order that the grand/children know they are cared about and loved, gestures like this would be a way to show this in later years.

Would you be so angry if someone you were in contact with placed the add?

Greenmug · 15/03/2014 07:17

I don't really understand. Are you concerned that people saw your children or that these are family members you have no contact with? Presumably people you don't know see your children regularly when you are out and about.

YouCanTakeAHorseToWater · 15/03/2014 07:19

If you have no contact with them for very deliberate reasons, e.g. they are abusive, then it is totally inappropriate for them to be so publicly trying to contact your children. I would have asked for it to be removed too.

HellomynameisIcklePickle · 15/03/2014 07:19

Seriously, they are gone now don't trouble yoursekf any further

tootiredtothink · 15/03/2014 07:19

Yabu IMO

Roshbegosh · 15/03/2014 07:23

You are being ridiculous and a bit weird. Put them in burkhas then or dress them like Michael Jackson dressed his children. You won't own them forever.

Renniehorta · 15/03/2014 07:23

I can understand that you might think that the relatives are stirring. However what harm is done by the 20 viewers looking at the photos? I assume that your dcs were appropriately dressed in the photos.

Dappydongle · 15/03/2014 07:25

The op is non- contact with the person who placed the op, presumably for abusive reasons, hence why she is upset.

peggyundercrackers · 15/03/2014 07:27

dont see any problem with the ad, sounds like a nice ad. as others have said lots of people see your kids every day without your permissions and its easy to get someones DOB and address you dont know. think you need to relax a bit.

Martorana · 15/03/2014 07:36

Why does it scare you?

KoalaFace · 15/03/2014 07:39

Why are you NC?

Morrigu · 15/03/2014 07:40

I don't think you are BU for asking them to be removed. You obviously have no contact with them for a reason.

wowfudge · 15/03/2014 07:45

YANBU - you are their parent and wouldn't do something like that yourself. Anyone who knows you should respect your wishes. I can understand it seems sinister to you. I don't know the history re the non-contact but acting like this (them, not you) is hardly going to help.

I'm glad the paper acted on your request. If you are NC it's as though a stranger has done this. Those OPs who think it is perfectly okay should think of it like that.

saintlyjimjams · 15/03/2014 07:47

Depends why you're nc.

BitOutOfPractice · 15/03/2014 07:48

I think we need more info about why nc.

GinSoakedMisery · 15/03/2014 07:51

It's a bit strange if you have no contact with the person/people. What is the reason behind the no contact?

Donki · 15/03/2014 07:55

If it was just the pics YWBU, but with names and dates of birth you are Definitely Not Being Unreasonable.

I believe that all the advice is not to identify children like this.

cloggal · 15/03/2014 07:55

YANBU to be alarmed that the family members have placed a notice - if you've no contact this will feel like harassment and isn't respecting your decision. But as others have said, I wouldn't worry about people seeing the pictures of your kids. It was your decision to make though and that was disrespected.

Sirzy · 15/03/2014 07:58

Sounds like they were trying to do something nice and you have overreaacted. Unless there is a much bigger back story YABU,

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/03/2014 07:59

I kinda see both sides here. I mean a picture is harmless.

But it's the principle sometimes isn't it. I always get annoyed when I see my mil post something on face book about "happy birthday to my beautiful grandchild--" and hadn't bothered to come and see them in months and one of them
Has no idea who they are. It's for show, so people think they give a shit. Means nothing really.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 15/03/2014 08:10

If all is normal, there's no extenuating circs, then you are really over egging you're own importance luv.

If there are other circs then it's reasonable.

HolidayCriminal · 15/03/2014 08:22

yabu

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