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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why it seems people get increasingly negative about breastfeeding the older baby gets....

455 replies

DiplodocusDinosaur · 14/03/2014 15:34

My ds2 is 9 mths, admittedly he is a very big baby and often mistaken for 1yr to 18mths. I bf on demand and have always happily, discreetly fed in public. Whereas when he was little I.e. under 6 mths I only ever got really positive comments and vibes for bf in public, now he is getting older I'm increasingly noticing negative looks and had the odd comment more than once. Today I took my ds1 and ds2 to a childrens farm, ds2 wanted a feed so I went to feed him and heard two mothers giggling and saying 'bitty, bitty'. And a week or so back another lady stopped in the country park I was in and told me ds2 was far to old for breast milk and it was fine for little babies to be bf in public but my baby was old enough to learn to wait.
Have i just had a couple of bad run ins or have others noticed bf reactions change as babies get older?

OP posts:
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6
KristinaM · 19/03/2014 21:22

Bet you wish you all lived in Scotland

Where it's illegal to ask a woman to stop feeding her baby. Or even to ask a baby to stop feeding . In any place where children are normally allowed .

DaleyBump · 19/03/2014 21:33

Kristina I live in Scotland and was asked to stop feeding my 3 week old baby. It's just disgraceful.

I'll just leave these here.

5madthings · 19/03/2014 21:35

Omg look at all that hair! Love it! Ds3 was born with masses of black hair, the first thing I said when he was born was omg look at his hair!

I don't have many pica of me bfeeding my five, not sure why. I must have a few though, will have to find some :)

pointythings · 19/03/2014 21:36

Such lovely photos, Daley.

Did you point out that the person in question was breaking the law? It's actually also illegal to stop someone bf in England - the law was changed in 2010. Link here

I think there will have to be a few prosecutions before people sit up and take notice. Oh, how I'd love to be on that jury...

DaleyBump · 19/03/2014 21:44

Thank you both :) I did pointy, I wrote a formal letter of complaint (it was in my old workplace by a colleague) but nothing came of it.

BornFreeButinChains · 19/03/2014 21:52

If it was necessary at 5 months it's still necessary at 7 months. It's not "necessary" at all since we can use formula. It is desirable of course, and the desirability doesn't stop when food is also introduced.
Babies and toddlers all still need to drink milk

Its not just the milk is it, is the comfort too.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/03/2014 21:55

I can't find the DM article I only found one about a dock museum

Oh and if anybody told either of these two to stop they would get the look!

to wonder why it seems people get increasingly negative about breastfeeding the older baby gets....
to wonder why it seems people get increasingly negative about breastfeeding the older baby gets....
DaleyBump · 19/03/2014 22:26

They're beautiful sock :)

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/03/2014 22:35

The older one still does a rugby hold on the boob.

pointythings · 19/03/2014 22:40

So gorgeous. Takes me right back to the baby bliss years (mine are 11 and 13) and the feeling that it was me who made them feel that blissed out. There is nothing like it.

5madthings · 19/03/2014 22:44

Its so lovely, blissed out on milk faces, makes me want another baby....but five really is enough...

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/03/2014 22:45

I have no pictures of me feeding the older ones, I think it's a mobile phone camera thing.

Years ago it was a faff to take a picture with one hand nowadays when the camera is on your phone it's tiny you don't have to put it up to your face its easy.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 19/03/2014 22:50

But six is a nice even number...

5madthings · 19/03/2014 23:12

Ha ha can you imagine mums reaction if I had another...

Plus I think odd numbers look better in photos not that I can ever get the little beasts to all have their picture taken together anyway

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 19/03/2014 23:19

Her head would explode. Or she would be do that PA 'I'm not saying anything' thing.

Would be funny though, bet DD would like a baby brother or sister?

5madthings · 19/03/2014 23:21

Oh yes dd and the boys would love it, tho ds1 may not be as keen.

More money and a bigger house and I would have another. Not likely tho :(

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 19/03/2014 23:23

DS1 will be moving out in a couple of years (which is a terrifying thought). But yeah, would need a bigger house here too. Plus DH dead against it.

5madthings · 19/03/2014 23:38

You could fit another in your house.

I am working on the theory that I have a few more years to make a decision re number 6...

Yonineedaminute · 20/03/2014 07:07

To be fair, in real life I do think that most people mainly agree with blahblahs line of thinking.

Even in my Nct group, no one breastfed past a year and there were lots of comments like 'if they can ask for it, they are too old for it' etx.

Meh, I don't know what I think. I gave up breastfeeding after a matter of weeks, so the main feeling I have towards extended breast feeders is admiration!!

Yonineedaminute · 20/03/2014 07:11

I have to say though, I am struggling to believe that someone had scalding coffee thrown at them and was called a perverted cunt for breastfeeding in a cafe, and no one did anything. That is out and out assault and the owner of the cafe would have called the police at the very least.

jaggythistle · 20/03/2014 07:17

I think that there is a definite thing where you feel different about bf once you've done it.

Then you feel different about bf a toddler once you've done it.

I had no idea how long I'd bf for, I want even sure if is be able to carry on once I went back to work.

My oldest stopped at around 2, youngest is a bit more keen, so I'm not sure what will happen there. We're already down to mainly evening and night time feeds at almost 2, plus nap time if I'm not at work and oops I just inured myself feeds. :)

jaggythistle · 20/03/2014 07:18

Excuse autocorrect mistakes. Blush

nosleeptillbedtime · 20/03/2014 14:02

Blah you keep saying there isn't benefit to feeding past five to six months when it has been explained to you that there is,both in terms of nutrition and emotional bonding and comfort. If the foundation of your argument is a lack of benefit then your foundation is invalid.
As for your feelings of disgust,then these are your feelings to deal with. Some people are disgusted to see gay people hold hands or kiss in public, but their disgust is not a valid argument for gay people only being 'allowed' to be affectionate in the privacy of their own homes.

blahblahblah2014 · 20/03/2014 14:49

DaleyBump your picture you posted of you BF made the MN email! Please remember when you post pictures the "rights" to the picture are no longer yours. I might share a pic on a forum with a few people but wouldn't be happy if my personal pics were taken and emailed out to masses for marketing purposes.

blahblahblah2014 · 20/03/2014 14:49

DaleyBump ^