To think DH should have stayed off work today

[pleaseno81]

I'm never ill - I've never thrown up since I was a kid. In my early 30s now.

DD and I have been hit with a horrible bug and I spent most of last night over the toilet bowl projectile vomiting.

I could sense DHs mounting panic that his work might be affected as I just felt in no fit state to look after toddler and sick baby.

Thankfully nursery have taken DS all day but I'm still so pissed off DH didn't just bite the bullet and tell work he wasn't coming in. I'm properly ill and whenever he's ill I make a big fuss and the kids aren't even allowed in the bedroom for the day.

I also have another health condition which makes things so much trickier when I'm ill.

AIBU?

Can I suggest that some of you invest in a "Fuck You Fund"? Enough money to cover staying in a nice hotel for a night or two.

That way the next time your husbands decide to treat you like shit robot nannies you can pack an overnight bag, hand them the kids and go look after yourselves. I am 100% serious about this.

I am a SAHM, which means I look after my two DS's, when I am unable to do that it's up do DH to sort things out. He's their father ffs and I didn't agree to never get sick again when we decided I would stay at home.

Oh yes, because typing is just the same as running after children all day.

What a load of shit.

lol i get the feeling copafeel doesn't actually do much practical childcare of a toddler otherwise s/he'd know that it isn't very much like typing. Perhaps s/he has a nanny? Or a wife?

10 posts so far on MN and one deleted already, copafeel?

Interesting stats.

Geez, I don't normally repeat myself but it seems warranted on this thread.

As someone who has had a number of illnesses, including serious requiring hospitalisation, seriousness, ability to post online and ability to look after self and others are very individual.

I could and did post sensibly on Facebook whilst full of 14mg morphine. I doubt anyone would've wanted me to look after myself, much less their weans...

50mg tramadol atm in my case.

I took time off work occasionally when DD was little and DW had the shits. Work were fine, except for a jumped up little shit at Tossco. I ignored him, came back to a disciplinary, promised to skin him alive at tribunal. It went away.

It's what you do.

Unless your workplace is making redundancies. Like my DP's place.

OP i hope you get better soon, a few months ago I was left home with a three year old and a baby with flu, I also had flu (couldn't have been bothered to pick up a £50 note test) ans DH fucking fucked off to work.

Then baby got really really and because DH had the car to do nursery run (3yo recovered quickly) I walked miles and miles to get baby some medicine. Ended up with pleurisy - it was a month before I was able to be upright again and back to work. Horrid.

It's not just mums who are at home who are affected though. Usually if I'm too ill to go to work I am too ill to take DS to nursery and therefore have to look after him all day. At the moment DH is a student but when he was working his hours were not compatible with the nursery run so he couldn't do it if he was going to work. When he returns to work it will likely be the same. He can be very dismissive of how crap I feel when I am ill and how tired I feel at times. Recently we all had a virus. I got it first. He dropped DS off the first day and went to college, I got a few hours peace. The next day he expected it to be business as usual and I got no further help. I think he thought I was being a wuss. Then he caught it and it was like a deathbed scene from a Victorian melodrama for about a week.

NurseyWursey They're going to make you redundant anyway. If you've got any self-respect and a bit of common sense you've already left.

Saying that, I've only been directly employed 7 years out of the last 25, and the last employer to interfere with my statutory rights paid for a long weekend in Bruges.

Totally agree with AskBasil

Yanbu.

You and DD get well soon.

disgrace sorry but it's not that easy to walk in and out of jobs they were told there would be 3 people being made redundant and that was based off a point system, one being how many days they'd had off sick (not including pregnancy and disability) so yeah, he didn't want to be off. Nothing to do with self respect.

Gosh some of you seem to be married to actual arseholes.

DH took a random sick day not long after dd was born two years ago and sent me to bed for the day. He has only recently admitted it was because he could see I was struggling with exhaustion and emotion at dealing with a newborn. He just saw it and took action.

if dd is ill, either of us take the day off to be with her. He doesnt see his job as superior to mine.

If I am bedbound ill, thankfully I can call on my DM to take dd, however there would be no question what so ever that dh would stay off work if my DM was unavaliable.

Nursey, it should be a day's holiday or dependant's leave, not sick leave.