I'm in no way perfect ; but am a bit .... Re friend

[sugar4eva]

Friend has only child . Oft eat s with her dh in back room and dd eats in other room. Have own adult room in house for space. Have left dd asleep gone out . Very posh . Very we need our time, in need to understand d this . Struggling.

Love the new word I've learnt.
"Discombobulated"
What's it mean?
Don't fussed about the op as I think she's leaving the age out on purpose. For more traffic.
Definition anyone, please.

Pag , yes think she is . Have tried to talk to friend . When I did ;,as gently as possible, she says needs space . Has also got angry.

I think it means confused dr

I also think if the child is real that MrTumble has it.

She says needs space?

One, just ONE more three letter word would have made that a real, honest to goodness sentence.

So no one out there has felt concerned for a child on an on going low level over a period of time and not known what to do to help in whatever way they can ? Ok .

If it has been the way they do dinner since the child was 4 years old and she is now a teen, why is it bothering you so much now?

The only time my teens sit with us to eat is at Christmas and if we go out for dinner. In fact its the only time we ever sit at a table to eat, we are usually all in different rooms!!

Are you ok sugar? Your posting style makes it seem like you're very upset, but it's not clear why you should be so upset about an issue that's 10 years old. Is there something else going on?

I read your penultimate post thinking someone was actually taking the piss OP - seriously, use sentences! Too distracted by the appalling grammar to make much sense of what you're actually writing.

Are you asking if there is anything you can do to help now?

Is the child unhappy now?

because you're not making any bloody sense... what is the problem OP?

Sorry - x-posted.

I think people will always get defensive if they feel you are criticising their parenting .

You're being weird. That's why people aren't taking you seriously.

If I am concerned about a child I do something about it. I don't hang back for 10 years and then complain the situation makes me stressed.

Has the child spoken to you, or has something else happened in the last few days? I don't understand why you are posting now.

My dhs parents treated him like this and it made him feel as though he must be not nice, if his parents didn't wnt him around.
But he had loads of friends so he was able to deal with it as he got older

Must admit your posting's do read like a telegram.

Is there more to this than what you have posted? As I cant get why this would be so upsetting for you.

given that the dd is now a teenager you could try and take more interest in her. you've tried talking to mum and it's gone on for way too long. not sure what more you can do really.

When did the leaving alone at night start? A teen can be left alone for a while when the parents go out. If she was leaving a tot at home alone then you should have spoken out about it a long time ago. It's no use getting worried about it now.

How is the child? Have they got friends? Are they confidant and happy or sad and withdrawn?

Yes am concerned fir child. Have been for a long time. I have tried to speak to parents over the years . The chmd has see wd sad for some time. When I tried to speak to them they got angry and asked if I was judgi g them. Ye thise w tho use who noted that the style of listing seemed distressed were coredt.the child has been admitted to a special unit for a psychiatric disorder. Am distraught for child tho of course I only see one side. I have genuine ly tried to examine my views but have been told I'm being judgemental . I except that but it has come from concern . I guess I'm feing low about it and maybe should not have posted.

Given the current circumstances of the child i guess what you feel is guilt. Guilt that you did not stop this a long time ago. However you did not inflict harm on the girl and you did try to talk to her parents. 10 years ago reporting to SS was not really as commonplace as it is now. To assuage your guilt i suggest you make yourself available to the girl to offer what support you can. You may be rebuffed but at least you will have tried to make amends.

Is the admittance to the unit recent?

Because I can understand that if it is and you feel you have been watching this for years and now it has ended in this unhappy event then you would feel sad and worried. And I can understand why you are posting this now, if it has just happened.

Yes, it sounds like quite a lonely life for a child. But I guess many things could have contributed to her admittance to the unit and you cannot know what goes on in someone's home life all the time, you only see a small part of it.

Eddie I did try take intrest in her. Her mum then wanted me to lok after her for a lot of the time. I honesty tried to talk to mother but she was feeling that she needed her space + her own sister stopped looking after the child S she felt she was constantly asking for her to look after her. The mother seemed to guard her time out very strongly as well as look for people to look Fter her dd. it's been onto g and subtle in some ways . The now teen has had breakdown and in a unit. I guess I'm trying to understand .

If it is guilt you are feeling then I completley agree with what little says, just try and give her as much support as you can right now. You cannot change the past, you can only help her with her future.

Tantrum and little: yes admission recent I have tried to talk to friend over many years. Have also tried to include child in our household. Yes this is nay e guilt. There was no hitting etc it was all very nice in so e ways but I sensed a sad and lonely child .

We'd all understand a lot better if you actually wrote words and sentences?

I can't imagine why you think pidgin English is ok.