To be worried about dc being teenagers and leaving home

[notnow2]

They are 6,4 and 2! I have started worrying about it a lot the last week or 2. Maybe because by 6 year old is becoming a bit more independent. Is it easier when it is actually happening

Err - no. Enjoy today, because it comes too soon

Hence you need to make sure as they get older you take some life back, get lots of hobbies etc etc so that when that times comes you have your life ready and waiting.

I worry about mine being teenagers and not leaving home

I know that feeling Woora

worra

I was just about to post the exact same thing worra

Mine are 15 and 16. I suspect that they are in no bloody hurry to go out into the real world of working and paying bills.

I am slightly worried they will still be here in 20 years.

It's a shock now because the thought has just hit you, but it's still too far off to really imagine them ever being old enough. Don't worry about it, by the time it happens they (and you) should have cut the cord enough to make it bearable all round!

Just don't let your entire life revolve around them until the day they are about to leave!

I understand what you are feeling but I am sure you will be fine when they are older. I was excited for my DC when they were preparing to go to Uni and I can't say I miss them that much as I know they are having a great time and doing something useful. I love it when they come home but I am not sad whe they leave. I suppose I might feel differently if they were unhappy.
I love the uk way of kids going away to Uni as it's a perfect stepping stone to leaving home. I am sure my DC would manage ok if they had to leave home completely but the half way house of going to Uni is perfect.

What Worra said, and I've only got one!

Another one worried about it never happening (eldest 22)

I'm looking forward to the day when I can wee without someone following me into the loo. Eat without someone trying to help me finish what I'm eating. And have loud sex without someone waking up needing their nappy changed/ because they've had a bad dream / because they like Mummy's bed.

I have one 21 year old left at home, I've just told him there's a house to let across the road.

He didn't seem to take the hint though

My DS2(15) has announced he's going to choose a University that he can commute to and from...so he doesn't have to move out

I thought my DS might at least consider moving across the road.

HootHootTootToot Taking comfort from that!
DD is 18 and will be going to Uni later this year. Yes I am excited for her and I know it is exactly the right thing for her, she is ready for it and it worked well for me when I was that age. Nevertheless I can't help feeling a bit every now and then at the thought of being an empty-nester this time next year.

I think Betty as a good point about getting other hobbies and interests. When they are little you don't have time for much else and when they get a bit older you will be running them around to all their activities. The time will come though when you can follow your own interests a bit. I have been able to do this for the past few years and am a member of a couple of groups where I can indulge my hobbies. Having a life of your own outside of kids definitely has something to recommend it.

Usual good to see you! Have you been away?

Yes, I was away from here for a bit.

The greatest gift you can give a child is self confidence and independence.

Is it easier when it is actually happening

From personal experience, yes because it happens in stages.

You're looking at it from the point of view of very small children who rely on you for nearly everything. So in your head you're going from one extreme to another, all (what you've got now) or nothing (when they move out).

In reality, it will be a gradual thing - first time walking to the shop on their own, then going to school on their own; sleeping over at friend's houses; going in to town with their mates at weekends; first holiday/festival with mates; going away to uni but still at home for a lot of the year during holidays etc etc.

Try not to let worry about the future spoil the here and now, easier said than done I know!

It's actually good fun to see them develop and become their own persons.

Having spent the last 15 years looking after a child with chronic health problems the thought of her never leaving home (or only in the back of an ambulance ) has been very present; the thought that she may actually end up leaving home at more or less the normal age is still a cause for celebration.

What worra said

OP make sure you enjoy them now

I believe the teenage years are Gods way of preparing you for cutting the apron strings .

Mine have got increasingly obnoxious and objectionable with age OP. This is natures way of making you deliriously happy more accepting of it when they finally flee the nest.

Most people I know with teenagers feel the same.

As PP have said, the fact they are physically and emotionally ready to leave home is generally a cause for celebration and the natural conclusion to your job as a parent, or at least the end of one phase and the start of another.

Don't worry you will still see them, they will be round raiding your food cupboards and bringing a huge pile of washing for you to do because their machine has broken down the night before they go on holiday!

notnow2 I remember feeling like that. The first time was when DS1 was six months old and I moved him into his own room. Then all the milestones.
I think it helps you to appreciate them. Everyone says it goes so quickly and it's true. I do hope that I have made an effort always to enjoy each new age and phase.
DS1 is 18 now and I feel desperately sad that he will leave for uni later this year, but careful to hide it and join in his excitement.