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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to look after my friend's DCs when she goes into labour?

25 replies

deliverdaniel · 12/03/2014 20:47

I know I am BU.. but I'm dreading it.

Her youngest screams literally the whole time the mum is away, totally and utterly inconsolably, sometimes for hours, no matter what i try to do to distract her/ comfort her. The eldest is a bit of a terror and breaks my DS's toys, teases him etc until he cries.

But then when i went into labour in the middle of the night she came over to look after my DS so I have to be on standby to return the favour, don't I? And it could go on for hours/ days right? Argh!

OP posts:
MyNameIsKenAdams · 12/03/2014 20:48

Fair is fair

At least if its the middle of the night theyd be asleep

GreenLandsOfHome · 12/03/2014 20:49

You would be very unreasonable to refuse. Especially if she did it for you.

Bribery...stuff them full of chocolate and sweets to keep them quiet.

figgypuddings · 12/03/2014 20:50

Does she have a partner or is she on her own?

SantanaLopez · 12/03/2014 20:50

Yeah, you're going to have to do it- that sucks Grin

Is the youngest just not used to being away from mummy? That could be helped.

I am sure you could tackle the oldest with bribery threats.

TheScience · 12/03/2014 20:51

It would be unreasonable, yes.

On the plus side, a 3rd? baby will probably be quite quick. DVDs and chocolates sounds good to me.

Original poster
deliverdaniel · 12/03/2014 20:52

you're right, i know it. It's harder now, because I now have a newborn to take care of and am getting very little sleep, so everything feels a bit overwhelming. Chocolate is a good idea.

OP posts:
Minshu · 12/03/2014 20:52

Get their mum to pack their favourite DVDs?

Original poster
deliverdaniel · 12/03/2014 20:53

yes, she has a partner. she had very long labours both of the other times, so think it will probably go on for a while, but I guess hard to predict.

OP posts:
emsyj · 12/03/2014 20:53

If you are able to, go to her house to look after the kids there. Then you won't have to deal with them being out of their own environment, if it's night time they will hopefully be (and stay) asleep and you won't have to deal with your own kids at the same time.

Original poster
deliverdaniel · 12/03/2014 20:54

I can't really leave our house to go to theirs as I have a 3 month old myself who is hard to settle and doesn't sleep much at the best of times, and also a 3 year old of my own to look after, so I think they woujld have to come here.

OP posts:
TheGreatHunt · 12/03/2014 20:55

But why would she ask if you have a newborn? When is baby due?

Original poster
deliverdaniel · 12/03/2014 20:56

her baby is due in 6 weeks, mine will be 4 months by then, so I guess not a newborn, but unlikely to be sleeping much either. I think she is asking me because she did the same for me 3 months ago when mine was born (although it was pretty quick- my DH came home before DS woke up in the morning)

OP posts:
VeggySausage · 12/03/2014 20:56

yabu.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 12/03/2014 20:57

Chocolate... And a plan to make it better for you :)

Rope in other friends to come for coffee/ park as its always easier with company. For middle of night plan ... Err, well at least think where to put them & anything else that might make it easier for you?

emsyj · 12/03/2014 20:58

Oh Sad. I do remember one hideous occasion when a neighbour of mine burned her hand and asked if I could go and look after her 2 boys (aged 5 and 18 months at the time). I had a 3 year old and a 10 week old myself. DH drove her to hospital and I was left with all 4 kids. I aged about 15 years in the 3 hours they were gone.

Sympathy goes out to you - but sorry, you do still have to do it! YWBU to refuse now, but you are right to think that it will be hell on earth.

Original poster
deliverdaniel · 12/03/2014 20:59

emsyj- poor you! that sounds hideous! and yes, I know I have to saddle up and do it. Just dreading it! thanks for the moral support.

OP posts:
manicinsomniac · 12/03/2014 20:59

Yeah, you're going to have to do it Wine

Good luck!

TheGreatHunt · 12/03/2014 21:01

I would ask her for a plan of action. Eg if her kids don't settle what to do.

Cringechilli · 12/03/2014 21:03

Can you send your dh to look after her kids in her house? So you can stay home with yours?

ikeaismylocal · 12/03/2014 21:03

You have to do it.

Could you take your dc to her house then at least it will be their toys that get trashed.

Do you have a dp? Could he look after your dc ( if you have a dp) at least your older child.

Original poster
deliverdaniel · 12/03/2014 21:04

cringechilli - yes- he could go over there if it's during the night, but he works during the day and can't take time off, and I'm on mat leave.

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 12/03/2014 21:07

Kids crying don't bother me, they can only cry for so long Wink

You have to do it, get chocolate in and brace yourselfGrin

TheBody · 12/03/2014 21:07

well look at least it can't possibly be worse than you imagine now! second DVDs. watch the choc or you could be washing up sick.

you will get your reward somehow! Grin

Original poster
deliverdaniel · 12/03/2014 21:08

thanks everyone for the moral support! I guess you're right- it can't be any worse than I'm fearing!

OP posts:
missymayhemsmum · 12/03/2014 21:11

Yabu. Pack a treat bag with sweeties, put c-beebies on and polish your halo as a good friend.

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