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AIBU?

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found pictures of me on hubby's PC - don't know what to do.

428 replies

mummyinbonniescotland · 12/03/2014 19:55

Tonight I went onto hubby's pc. He works from home as a photographer. He had lots of pictures up. I closed down some of his folders, but as I was closing one down, I saw it was pictures of my privates (I was a bit absent minded so didn't pay much attention to what it was until I'd hit the x button)

So there were pictures of vaginas. I was a bit wtf? Then I caught sight of one of me, smiling, lower half naked, legs akimbo, on my couch, wearing clothes I recognise.

I don't remember ever posing like that or for pictures of my vagina.

Actually I have once, but that was a close up of a boil on my vagina that I wanted to take to my doctor's appointment (it was a recurring boil that was always gone by the time of the appt so dr had asked me to take a pic next time).

It was taken by DH on my phone and he handed it immediately back to me and I deleted it off my phone after the appointment which was that day.

So i have no idea where all these pictures come from. I'm quite a private person, and I'd never pose for pictures unless like I said above to take a picture to my doctor.

I'm confused and digusted right now. My DD could have come across this, or my hubby's colleague who often comes to the house, or my very prudish parents.

I did confront DH who says he has no idea where the pictures came from, he doesn't remember me posing either apart from that dr appt one. He did a search and couldn't find the folder I closed. I wish I hadn't closed it but I wasn't paying much attention til the last second.

He did keep asking me to go and fetch his phone, cos he was running late for an appt with a client but now its going through my head, did he want me gone so he could hide the evidence?

I have come across porn videos before and porn sites in his internet history which he keeps saying is a virus/pop ups etc. I have never really believed him but I kind of let it go I admit.

This is different though. These are pictures of me that he appears to have taken. To perhaps look at in his own time? But I don't remember posing for them and I never would either. Even if I had, I would have expected him to delete them immediately, not leave them on the PC for someone to come across such as DD.

I just feel dirty and disrespected. I don't know what to do. I've been with him for 16 years now, married for 9, he's my best friend and I know he's never been with anyone else - I do know where he is all the time (he works from home, my parents live in the same street, we have mutual friends).

I don't know what to do, please help!

NC for this

OP posts:
LadyBeagleEyes · 12/03/2014 21:20
Hmm
Fairenuff · 12/03/2014 21:22

OP I'm sorry that you are upset at finding porn on his ipad but if you know he uses it and are ok with that, I'm not sure what it is that has upset you.

You don't have to be ok with his porn use you know. You don't have to go along with it if you don't want to and you don't have to put up with it in your relationship if you don't want to.

TheBody · 12/03/2014 21:27

sorry but the GP asking for a photo of your vagina sounds equally strange.

not sure what to think. you seem surrounded by some very strange men op.

pomdereplay · 12/03/2014 21:28

Jesus Christ. This is one of the more upsetting threads I have read on Mumsnet.

I would not dream of letting this lie, OP. Whatever has happened, it is bloody sinister and just the tip of the iceberg as regards this man's sexual behaviour by the sound of things. You need to find out what has happened and act accordingly. I could not live like this, I just couldn't. How distressing for you.

usualsuspect33 · 12/03/2014 21:28

All sounds very odd.

NigellasGuest · 12/03/2014 21:28

just wondering - wouldn't it have been easier to not take the boil photo in the first place and to just show the boil in the flesh so to speak? I know that's not a helpful comment but I'm not sure why anyone would do that - my GP at least doesn't accept photos, AFAIK -in fact it's never occurred to me to do that and I've never heard of this practice- what do you do, email it to the GP?

ImperialBlether · 12/03/2014 21:30

Does anyone remember a thread where the OP's husband was posting pictures of her on a voyeur thread? She was completely unaware of it.

NigellasGuest · 12/03/2014 21:30

and if for some reason I DID need a photo of a boil on my vagina I think I could manage to photograph it myself using my mobile phone

Caitlin17 · 12/03/2014 21:30

I agree pomdereplay if this happened to me I couldn't make of it into situation I found plausible or acceptable.

ImperialBlether · 12/03/2014 21:31

Was it your husband who told you to photograph it for the doctor?

piratecat · 12/03/2014 21:32

it's all a bit odd really. photo of a boil for a doctor? don't think so.

Anotheronebitthedust · 12/03/2014 21:33

I completely disagree with the posters saying they would rather their husbands have photos of them rather than porn stars/other naked women. Really? At least porn would (hopefully) be consensual, with the women knowing what the images would have been used for. The two options here are both non-consensual uses of the OPs face/body for his sexual pleasure.

I think the photoshop thing, while possibly still the better of the scenarios (the other being secretly filming you during sex) is still one of the creepiest, weirdest things I have ever heard, if it is true.

I'm pretty open minded about what people want to get up to sex-wise, each to their own and all that, but the main thing should always be consent and shared pleasure between both (or all) participants - otherwise you start crossing some pretty serious lines.

Gruntfuttock · 12/03/2014 21:34

I don't think so either, piratecat.

NigellasGuest · 12/03/2014 21:35

"hubby's pc"

FunkyBoldRibena · 12/03/2014 21:38

Naked pics on the voyeur thread?

Or fully clothed? Surely if they were naked the OP would be aware that he has naked pics of her?

What's the back story OP?

TeaAndALemonTart · 12/03/2014 21:38

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LizzieHexham · 12/03/2014 21:39

I have herpes. It's not a big deal and outbreaks are rare and have not happened for years. I wasn't sure if it even was herpes but was petrified when I was pregnant I might have an outbreak as vaginal birth is not recommended. I told the midwifes and they said if I had another outbreak to come to the hospital immediately, no appointment needed as they understood it wasn't something I could make an appointment for.

Aside from the fact what is a recurring boil on your vagina, I'd imagine any health care practice would take the same attitude to a recurring but unpredictable problem.

ImperialBlether · 12/03/2014 21:42

Funky, on the thread I was reading, the OP's partner was taking photos of her as she slept. Awful thread.

Damnautocorrect · 12/03/2014 21:42

I've been asked to take photos of stuff to the docs, things that flare up and go away by the time you get an appt

TheBody · 12/03/2014 21:42

Tea Grin

early night I think as it's a school tomorrow.

LadyBeagleEyes · 12/03/2014 21:46

No Dr has ever asked for me to take a photo. What the hell can Drs do with a photo, they can't diagnose anything from that.
This is a very odd thread.

ImperialBlether · 12/03/2014 21:48

I never know what use a photo of a boil you used to have is.

FunkyBoldRibena · 12/03/2014 21:51

So, he has form then...

If she knew about him taking photos of her whilst she slept...why is this such a surprise to her?

ImperialBlether · 12/03/2014 21:52

No, this is a different woman! I was talking about another thread from a year or so ago.

Littlegreyauditor · 12/03/2014 21:54

I think the voyeur thread was by a different OP...or I may be reading it wrong. Confused

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