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found pictures of me on hubby's PC - don't know what to do.

428 replies

mummyinbonniescotland · 12/03/2014 19:55

Tonight I went onto hubby's pc. He works from home as a photographer. He had lots of pictures up. I closed down some of his folders, but as I was closing one down, I saw it was pictures of my privates (I was a bit absent minded so didn't pay much attention to what it was until I'd hit the x button)

So there were pictures of vaginas. I was a bit wtf? Then I caught sight of one of me, smiling, lower half naked, legs akimbo, on my couch, wearing clothes I recognise.

I don't remember ever posing like that or for pictures of my vagina.

Actually I have once, but that was a close up of a boil on my vagina that I wanted to take to my doctor's appointment (it was a recurring boil that was always gone by the time of the appt so dr had asked me to take a pic next time).

It was taken by DH on my phone and he handed it immediately back to me and I deleted it off my phone after the appointment which was that day.

So i have no idea where all these pictures come from. I'm quite a private person, and I'd never pose for pictures unless like I said above to take a picture to my doctor.

I'm confused and digusted right now. My DD could have come across this, or my hubby's colleague who often comes to the house, or my very prudish parents.

I did confront DH who says he has no idea where the pictures came from, he doesn't remember me posing either apart from that dr appt one. He did a search and couldn't find the folder I closed. I wish I hadn't closed it but I wasn't paying much attention til the last second.

He did keep asking me to go and fetch his phone, cos he was running late for an appt with a client but now its going through my head, did he want me gone so he could hide the evidence?

I have come across porn videos before and porn sites in his internet history which he keeps saying is a virus/pop ups etc. I have never really believed him but I kind of let it go I admit.

This is different though. These are pictures of me that he appears to have taken. To perhaps look at in his own time? But I don't remember posing for them and I never would either. Even if I had, I would have expected him to delete them immediately, not leave them on the PC for someone to come across such as DD.

I just feel dirty and disrespected. I don't know what to do. I've been with him for 16 years now, married for 9, he's my best friend and I know he's never been with anyone else - I do know where he is all the time (he works from home, my parents live in the same street, we have mutual friends).

I don't know what to do, please help!

NC for this

OP posts:
FabBakerGirl · 14/03/2014 18:39

Why is it not clear how he got them? Because he won't tell you. I would be telling him until he tells you exactly how he got them there will be no communication and I would insist he leaves the family home.

mummyinbonniescotland · 14/03/2014 20:13

they are pictures of me he says. I don't remember posing for them which means they were taken without my knowledge.
i've asked the questions - how, when, why etc. His answer is just 'sorry' or 'no I didn't take photos of you asleep/drugged/drunk'. So how could he have taken them? You guys are asking me the same questions I have and I'm not getting clear answers on myself.

OP posts:
FabBakerGirl · 14/03/2014 20:18

So what are the consequences of him not giving you a truthful answer?

zzzzz · 14/03/2014 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emotionsecho · 14/03/2014 20:27

Something very odd Op, why is he not telling you how he took the photos of you? If you didn't pose for them and he says you weren't asleep/drunk/drugged, has he got hidden cameras in the house?

Honestly if he can't/won't answer as to when, where and how he took those photos I wouldn't be able to remain in a relationship with him it's a simple enough question to answer and if he values you he would answer it truthfully.

monkeynuts123 · 14/03/2014 20:32

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TeaAndALemonTart · 14/03/2014 20:39

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slithytove · 14/03/2014 20:50

OP you HAVE to get those photos. I suspect he will find it much harder to avoid answering if you are sat there with them in front of you. Plus it is evidence if you wanted to take it further, though I'm not sure what the crime would be.

slithytove · 14/03/2014 20:51

Literally just had that thought after my last post monkey and tea, how odd.

VeryStressedMum · 14/03/2014 20:55

The vaginas are yours??? He has got loads of picture on his computer of your vagina but you didn't pose for them? Wtf. The only way he could have got them is if you were drugged.
Do you know for sure that it is yours, does it look like yours?

Fairenuff · 14/03/2014 20:56

He strongly denies photoshopping pictures. He also says he's never put them on the net, shown them to anyone else, been with anyone else.

Yes he would deny all this. But because he is still lying to you, you cannot accept what he says as the truth.

He's sorry for hurting me and lying to me. Me and dd are the most impt people to him yadda yadda.

No, he's not sorry because he is still lying to you.

He's sorry for putting me at risk of the image being seen/used by anyone else. He's sorry for risking dd seeing them.

No, he is sorry that he got caught putting you at risk of the image being seen/used by anyone else. et.

I hope this answers some questions.

No, this does not answer questions, it side-steps them.

You are no further forward. He is still lying. What do you want to do about this OP?

hoobypickypicky · 14/03/2014 21:03

I'm not wondering, Monkeynuts. Wink

monkeynuts123 · 14/03/2014 21:04

Because surely by now the police would have questioned him about drugging his wife...and op given somewhere safe to live until this had been sorted out. What? the police told her to go home and ask her husband to tell her the truth? The husband who'd drugged her and sexually abused her? I thought there were children involved? Children would have been protected by SS from a father who drugged his wife/their mother. Are we to think they're all sat about over dinner casually wondering whose fanny is who's?

MrsRuffdiamond · 14/03/2014 21:05

This thread has amazed me, not least because of all those on here who don't bat an eyelid at the idea of vagina identification.

I don't think I could identify the back of my own hand, let alone my vagina! I just haven't studied myself in that much detail. (Not there, anyway!) Confused

MeepMeepVrooom · 14/03/2014 21:06

Oh I want to know what monkeys post was.

Bearbehind · 14/03/2014 21:06

I can't see how it is possible for these photos to have been taken.

Surely even if you were rat arsed you'd recognise the clothes you had on, where you were etc and would have a vague recollection that it might have happened.

Whatever the truth is, you are in a bad place.

He is either lying about photoshopping the photos or you get into situations where you have no comprehension of what's happening and neither is good.

MorrisZapp · 14/03/2014 21:10

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hoobypickypicky · 14/03/2014 21:11

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Beeyump · 14/03/2014 21:11

I'm so confused.

monkeynuts123 · 14/03/2014 21:12

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AngelaDaviesHair · 14/03/2014 21:13

Because troll-hunting is against Talk Guidelines, monkey.

SnotandBothered · 14/03/2014 21:13

I find this utterly bizarre.

I don't understand how you are even taking the time to come on MN and respond to a bunch of strangers when what is (to my mind) the most important question hasn't been answered.

HOW DID HE TAKE PICTURES OF YOU IN PORNOGRAPHIC POSES WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE?

He really needs to answer this. Either he photoshopped someone's lower half onto you' or he somehow got you into the kind of state where you would have no knowledge or memory.

What you have discovered is awful OP and I feel for you, but you must get an answer to this simple question. Because if he is insisting that it is you, and that he didn't photoshop you (which he is), and you insist you didn't pose for them, then something far more sinister than posting a pic to a computer has happened.

MorrisZapp · 14/03/2014 21:14

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Coldlightofday · 14/03/2014 21:15

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MeepMeepVrooom · 14/03/2014 21:16

Because it's 'troll hunting' however many others, myself included agree that either some info is not being disclosed. If it's true something is amiss and info from the OP seems heavily edited for whatever reason.