AIBUs from/about fictional characters

[ProudAS]

I'll start

AIBU to report neighbours to social services

Their 11YO DS appears to be morbidly obese and IMO is getting to look more and more like a pig. I think I saw a curly tail poking out of his trousers.

Their DNephew on the other hand appears malnourished. He's also 11 and has lived with them since he was a baby and his DPs died. I've heard rumours that they lock him in the cupboard under the stairs and make him sleep in there. FFS the house has 4 bedrooms and they only have 1 DC.

It's now getting more suspicious. DNephew hasn't been around for a while and apparently he's away at a school for incurably criminal boys. He's always seemed well behaved to me and I was unaware that such schools existed.

I don't want to poke my nose in but WWYD?

[pointythings]

I liked Bag of Bones too, but it's very different to Duma Key. The Portaloo one you are thinking of is in a collection of short stories, Duma Key is a full on ghost story and is about King dealing with the consequences of his road accident. I rate it because it described the consequences of Acquired Brain Injury so very well and is shit scary.

Bag of Bones is more a classical ghostly revenge tale.

Anyway...

AIBU to be a bit worried about my DS? He's always the odd one out, there's a lot of pressure on him because he's supposed to be my successor but he really isn't the warrior type. He has the most pathetic tiny hunting dragon the world has ever seen, he hangs out with a boy who is a complete loser and a girl who is a complete tearaway and his only redeeming feature is that he is outstanding with a sword in his hand. WIBU to give him some remedial chieftain-in-waiting training?

[JerseySpud]

AIBU to complain about my Doctor? He's rude, puts me through loads of tests, never seems to have the answers then pulls one out of the air. His team don't seem to know what they are doing until i nearly died although the aussie one is quite hot, the girl seems to fancy the doctor and does exactly what he says!

[BumpyGrindy]

AIBU to think that my tomboy sister should marry our old family friend? He's rich and perfect for her but she's obsessed with becoming an author of all things and now he's buggered off on a European tour! Old family friend is sad and apparently has been meeting up with our younger sister who by her own admission wants to marry a rich man.

[lessonsintightropes]

Garth yes tell Henry Daddy

[puntasticusername]

Pointythings ah, fair enough. I might give it another shot if I see a copy in a charity shop then. I didn't totally dislike it, it just didn't feel hugely original.

Anyway. Sorry for going off topic everybody

This one's a bit "worthy"...

AIBU to feel incredibly sad that I lost my family because I discovered sex?

As children, me and my brothers and sister used to play highly imaginative games about a different world. At times I could even swear it was all real. And who knew I'd turn out to be such a crack shot with a bow and arrow?

Growing up, I broadened my horizons and started to care about lipstick and nylons and invitations. My brothers and sister couldn't handle this and cut me off. They carried on talking about the faraway land, but I was never allowed to join in again. Then they all died in a train crash and I've got the sneaking feeling that even beyond the grave, they still think they're "better" than me.

So, AIBU to feel a bit hard done by simply because I didn't want to remain a child forever? Why do some people seem to find female sexuality so threatening?

Hm. Sorry. We seem to have hit a bit of a nerve, there.

[GarthsUncle]

at lesson

You ok there Susan puntastic?

[puntasticusername]

I'm fine thankyou.

Pass us the gin?

[2tiredtocare]

AIBU to be pissed off with my friend? We were due to meet in a cafe but when I got there she'd gone off into a cartoon, how desperate is it to get off with a drawing! He wants her to take him on, I think she's crazy.

[pointythings]

Nice one there, puntastic .

Arf at 2tired that's broadening our horizons a bit!

OK, my third wife recently left me for a much younger man. Admittedly I only married her for her housekeeping skills and have been cheating on her pretty much from day 1 - with my second wife among others - but I really need someone to keep my house immaculate, cook amazingly, play hostess and put up with my infidelities. WIBU to marry a vulnerable widow for the purpose? I am very wealthy and will give her all the designer outfits she could want and a very comfortable lifestyle.

[phantomnamechanger]

I am worried about my DCs friend next door, she is only 9 but appears to live on her own with just a horse and a monkey for company. Her father is away at sea for months on end. she's a feisty wee thing and very rude at times, but the DC like her. should I call SS or MMOB? WWYD?

[pointythings]

phantom brilliant stuff! I've just donated our Pippi Longstocking compilation to a friend, I grew up with those books.

[phantomnamechanger]

we also have audio cassettes of the Pippi books read by Maureen Lipman, they are ace.

[phantomnamechanger]

AIBU to be livid. What a week. First the Dc set fire to their carpet with fireworks in the house. Now the bloomin cook seems to have done a runner, whatever next?

[AreYouBlueOrAreYouBlind]

AIBU to ask my friend to go to the doctor? I think he's acquired a head injury or something.

He keeps insisting he's an alien lord and when he disappears off the radar for a week or so he reckons he's been off in his 'spaceship'.
Bless him, his supposed ship is one of those old police boxes, they have one in our local village as part of the historical display. He's such a card!
He does alright though and he's never short of an attractive girlfriend.

[Littlebear88]

AIBU about having thoughts on leaving home, my mum is so controlling and never let's me leave our home, it's my birthday soon and I'm thinking I'm going to leave, I'd also love a haircut but if feel guilty cutting my hair as my mum loves brushing it! It makes her glow, unfortunately I'm becoming more and more unhappy!

[Wickeddevil]

Been invited to dinner by a work colleague. Menu is liver and farva beans. AIBU to think its a bit, well dull? Hope the wine's good.

[AreYouBlueOrAreYouBlind]

My sister and I used to be so close then she went nc with me. She has refused to open her door to me for years. I'm ever so lonely and can't think what I could have done to upset her, we used to be so close, we were always playing and building snowmen together, the usually sisterly stuff.

Sadly our parents died so now it's just the two of us left, I longed for somebody to love me and show me some affection. I have met a man at a party who I fell for instantly and he proposed, my sister is obviously jealous as she refused to give us her blessing. I have no friends and might as well have no family.

AIBU to marry this man anyway? I really think he's my soulmate.

[Preferthedogtothekids]

I wander for a while, then I usually find someone in emotional pain or physical danger and I use all my intelligence and compassion to help. Then, despite being invited to stay I just up and go again.

Maybe tomorrow I'll settle down, until tomorrow I'll just keep moving on.

AIBU to leave?

[NigellasDealer]

Aibu to send my niece away to boarding school - she is such a nuisance and quite wild sometimes needs to be restrained and isolated.
She is not my real niece but the daughter of my late husbands wayward sibling.
Compared to my own angelic children, especially my delightful son, who want for nothing she is plain and insolent.
I will be glad to see the back of her. I have heard this school for orphans is a bit cold in a boggy part of the country, and does not spoil the girls so seems to be an ideal place to send her, the nasty little girl. AIBU?

[AreYouBlueOrAreYouBlind]

Gives prefer a cuddle, (and a bone). You do a lovely job, though I do worry about you trekking about the country, hitching lifts in cars/on trains all by yourself.

[Preferthedogtothekids]

Thank you AreYou, that's kind. I would stay and chat, but I gotta go...

[PedantMarina]

DNpw is a sweetie, albeit the most ridiculous waste of horseflesh wherever English is spoken, and in Hoxton. And despite some vast improvements in his lifestyle - and certainly personal grooming and attire - since the arrival of his gentleman's gentleman, one can't help but wonder if all is well. If it hadn't been most usefully employed in assisting me on more than one occasion, I'd say that colossos intellect was wasted on a servant. But one must admit, the man can get anybody out of a scrape. But in one's rare quiet moments, when one's not otherwise engaged with running a magazine, or trying to keep the DH, DD and staff, running tickety-boo, one can't help but ponder if some of the aforementioned scrapes -particularly those of DNpw, were a leetle caused, or at least allowed to happen by the servant. WWYD?

[lessonsintightropes]

Pedant if you sack servant Jeeves can I have him?

[lessonsintightropes]

Areyoublue I think I met him and his friend Bo a while ago. Nice man, shame about the inability to hang on to girlfriends companions.