Is 4 too young for pocket money?

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

My dd is becoming very spoilt. We buy her new things like books etc and her grandparents buy her masses of toys for no reason. Because of this she is starting to be ungrateful and demanding. I know it's our fault but mainly theirs so am wondering how to fix it before it gets too bad.

Therefore wibu to give her a small amount of pocket money to save up for things she wants? Money based on good behaviour? She's very able (I know she's my daughter but she is; she has a high level of understanding) and I think maybe now is the time to introduce the value of money to her.

Any advice?

I agree Dino, the OP's child will just have money and presents

Mine has been having pocket money for a while. He's four and a half. Simply because he'd got in the habit of asking for stuff when we went out - a comic, a dinosaur, a sweet etc. he didn't always get anything of course but it would start a debate.

Now I say 'yes you can have it if you buy it' and he nearly always decides he doesn't need it and keeps his money. He's saving up for a triceratops excavation kit. It is £12 and he gets £3 a week. Next week he will have enough money. I know everyone will say £3 is a lot but it doesn't buy much! He's fairly good at saving and has saved up for a few bigger items such as a pillow pet, fossil set and some moshi monsters.

He likes having his own money in a little wallet.

It's to teach her the value of money, so she appreciates what she has, starts to learn budgeting etc. I will try and say something re: money for swimming lessons to the gps,

My DS is 4 and we started £1 a week pocket money after Christmas for exactly the same reasons as you OP. it has worked brilliantly. He also gets extra bits of money for particularly good behaviour or helping and he loves counting out his money and deciding what to spend it on when he's got enough.

The first couple of weeks he didn't really get that he couldn't have everything he wanted but now he will ask how much something is, whether he has enough and then if not, says he can wait till he has. A cople of times he's asked me to pay for it instead but I just tell him he has to save enough money.

It's def stopped the constant asking for things and helped with the general behaviour.

We don't do pocket money. They earn stars instead. We did try giving them money, but we are careless with change and the 4 year old kept hoarding it because he didn't really understand what it was, which caused large tantrums from the 7 year old.

So we have stars. DS1 has silver and DS2 has any colour that isn't silver because he can't cope with just the one option! We just stick them on a calendar. They are 'used' or 'removed' with spot stickers over the top, indicating 'fine' or 'spent'.

DS2 can understand this concept and can count well enough to know that, say four stars is something from the pound shop. He also understands that he can earn them, and equally by not doing something he's supposed to, he loses a star. They earn them for relatively random stuff, like being generous and spontaneous tidying, as well as for 'homework' (not the stuff from school but extra stuff we give them)

DS1 is old enough to know the value of each star (we say to him that each one equals 30p or ten minutes on the tablet/ds/xbox etc although we give them free time on the xbox if its a dance/exercise type game)
He also gets fined for behaving badly or not doing as asked.

So far (about 3 months down the line) it seems to be working quite well.

Meant to say she earns extra for chores. Usually 20p for putting her washing away or emptying the dishwasher.

Her best enterprise is to lend us money when we need change for parking and then ask for interest when we pay her back!

My pocket money started at 3 or 4. 20p. The difference was that we never had sweets bought for us so our pocket money always went on those.

DD doesn't get regular pocket money but whenever she does get given some it goes straight into her money box. We have stopped the treats though because it was becoming a weekly occurrence and she has so much rubbish!! So now she just gets gifts at Xmas and Birthdays, or if she's had to go into hospital for an operation or some blood tests (regular occurrence...).