Invited for lunch but then...

[Oodfanjo]

DH and I have DC aged 2 and 6w. We were invited to my Ddad's for Sunday lunch, which we've done many times before. There was my DGM, Ddad's DP, and three other adults (so 8 adults and a 2yo eating.)

We were sorting the kids out at the table whilst everyone was dishing up. I was bf DC2 at the table, DH was helping DS with his lunch- serving/chopping up. Everyone else served themselves and started tucking in. This ALWAYS happens. DH served mine and then his (as I was bf it was a bit tricky juggling gravy etc!). When he went to serve his there was plenty there for him but not of everything, eg. All the broccoli had gone, all the parsnips etc, only a little mashed potato. I could tell DH wasn't too chuffed (he'd given me the bits that were left first, bless him!).

Anyway, I thought it was a bit off that there wasn't quite enough of everything but overall there was enough food for us, if that makes sense. Anyway, as we were leaving I saw boxes of food in the kitchen - for my DGM to take home for later/tomorrow. I know my DGM is older but she is fit, well, healthy etc and gets out and about every day etc. So firstly, AIBU that there was more food (ie the stuff that DH lacked) but it was kept back? And secondly, AIBU to be pissed off that every single fucking time we eat there everyone helps themselves and starts digging in before we've even started dishing up our own meal? And before you ask, no, I haven't said anything and I doubt I ever will because it has always been like this, even before my DM died.

I think it sounds like a greedy free-for-all and I'd have been narked in your shoes, OP. I was taught that it's good manners to pass food around, hold off chowing down till everyone's served or at the very least until the host/ess invite you to start eating, make sure others are served too, not take too much of something that's not abundant and if there are guests then make sure they get first dibs on the nice bits. You certainly don't pile your plate up and start tucking in while there are still empty plates at the table that can't serve themselves.

Wow, I can't believe they did that - when we have lots of family round for a roast, we actively ask 'right, who wants roasties/broccoli/carrots?' and whoever has the dish by them will dole out to those nearest then pass it over to the other end of the table. Despite having 3 hulking teenage boys in the extended family, they never take so much that there's none left (once everyone has been served, however, the leftovers are a free for all!). Sounds like they need to learn manners and think of others. Mind you, I do tend to cook for an army AND overcater so there are always leftovers...

It is so hard to judge over the net. But if this always happens to you, I wonder if you are your DP make a habit of faffing about?

God, no, Greenie!! Well only as little faffing as is necessary with the kiddies, faffing that can't be avoided. If I were to put a time on it I'd say DH was faffing with DS for 2-3 mins before starting to serve up. By then DGM was almost tucking in .

I'm over it now. Will try to be more outspoken in future (we don't go too often, maybe once every couple of months).

I agree, it sounds like a really rude bunch of people!

faffing about
No.
The other guests are rude.
I'm not sure you can change that. But I've seen some good suggestions here.

Oh FFS, it's your father. Just tell him he needs to cook extra next time he hosts.