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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at flaky mate

21 replies

murasaki · 09/03/2014 14:05

She;s supposed to be coming to lunch - well we were supposed to meet in the pub at 1pm, and then come back to mine, so I prepped a moussaka yesterday, and got the booze in etc.

So she phoned me earlier saying running a bit late as was at the boyfriend's and is it ok if she brings him, fine, says I.

So now it's even later, and she's phoned again saying that the trains aren't running regularly, and she'll be even later. Now I've checked this on my live railtracker app, and the TFL site, and it's bollocks.

AIBU to think she's sat in a sunny pub with bf, while I am NOT sat in sunny pub where we were supposed to be an hour ago, and to be a bit hacked off?

OP posts:
Original poster
murasaki · 09/03/2014 14:07

We've always been fine with cancelling stuff at short notice, but I can't abide waiting and delays. Either do it, or don't, either's fine, this isn't.

Rant over.

OP posts:
ThursdayLast · 09/03/2014 14:08

Yanbu
I'd be pissed right off too

Groovee · 09/03/2014 14:08

Just text her and say that you've decided to reschedule!

Optimist1 · 09/03/2014 14:11

Rude, just rude (of her)!

I'd be tucking into moussaka now and enjoying it with a Wine in my back garden by now.

shrunkenhead · 09/03/2014 14:11

It's downright rude and shows v little respect for you or your time.

Original poster
murasaki · 09/03/2014 14:12

I really should do, but allegedly she's on a train in 20 mins, and her iphone is running out of battery......I did text saying the trains were actually fine, but no response. it;s hard to cancel someone you can't get hold of.

Grrr.

WIBU to put moussaka in the oven and go for a nice walk in the sunshine to calm down and ignore the phone if it rings? I'm thinking not at this point.

OP posts:
Original poster
murasaki · 09/03/2014 15:09

She phoned from the platform, still claiming trains, but inadvertantly admitting that she'd got there 10 mins ago. So I said we'd do it another day. furious, mind, as I wouldn't have scrubbed the flat and cooked loads of unnecessary food, which, as it goes, she had specifically requested. Luckily, other mate texted saying 'pub?' so I shall have some sun.

I might have sent an annoyed text explaining why I'm mad, that was silly. But hey ho.

OP posts:
CrapBag · 09/03/2014 16:27

It wasn't silly, she has blatantly messed you about and she should know that its a shitty thing to do, especially as she lied and you caught her out.

jellybaby25 · 09/03/2014 16:30

YANBU at all. And I would probably have sent a similar text!

mrsjay · 09/03/2014 16:36

Flakey is just a nice word for selfish they get away with it because they are all over the place and love being the flakey one they get on my wick and i have no flakey friends life is to short

shrunkenhead · 09/03/2014 16:37

YANBU and just out of interest did she respond to your last text?

mrsjay · 09/03/2014 16:41

MY sister is Flakey i can never pin her down and i have lost count the number of times she has cancelled or chainged plans last minute

fuzzpig · 09/03/2014 16:42

YANBU and well done for sending that text :)

StrawberryCheese · 09/03/2014 16:54

Yanbu. I have had a friend like this and I gave up on her. Fed up of being treated like a mug. Enjoy the pub!

ThursdayLast · 09/03/2014 17:00

I hope you had a lovely afternoon in the sun with a real friend OP

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 09/03/2014 17:23

I have a friend like this. 3 of us used to go out together. To start with we would rearrange every time she cancelled at the last minute. Then we started still including her on when to go but going without her if she cancelled. Then we started inviting a 4th friend so her absence was less noticeable.

Now we organise when to go out between the (new) 3 of us and then send her a text along the lines of "me, X & Y thought we'd have a night out on Tuesday. Do you fancy coming?" If she comes - great. If not - we do just fine without her.

Friends like that are great - just don't make plans around them. Do something that they can slot into if they wish.

hackmum · 09/03/2014 18:05

On the plus side, you now have a clean flat and a delicious moussaka. Every cloud etc Smile

NuggetofPurestGreen · 09/03/2014 18:08

There are so many things wrong with what she did OP. YANBU!!!!

Hope you had a nice afternoon anyway.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 09/03/2014 18:15

My sister is so flakey. Sometimes I wish I could knock her the fuck out. You know that scene in friends where they convinced Monica to cook thanksgiving dinner even though she doesn't want to? Then they fuck off doing their own thing and all turn up very late without explanation? That's my mum and sister rolled into one. I'm actually starting to feel angry about past events because of this thread.

Original poster
murasaki · 09/03/2014 23:15

NO, no response to the annoyed text. we work together, will see how it plays out tomorrow. But I ma still mighty peeved, despite having a nice afternoon with my odd-daughter's father, am glad he texted.

OP posts:
CrapBag · 10/03/2014 21:43

Any update op?

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