AIBU to think if your own mothers refers to you as coloured

[Fusedog]

I was in tesco today talking to a women who was clearly pregnant we were down the baby isle and she started asking me about my dd hair, what I do with it ECt
Then she said I only ask because I am havering a coloured baby as well
AIBU to think this child stands no change in terms of self asteem in terms of her heritage or background if her own mother refers to her as coloured ffs

Btw I am black my ds is mixed the lady was white

I wasn't cross just felt a bit sorry for the baby she is gonna have

michelleobarner says and I doubt very much that had she been told her baby was going to be born with a physical disability that she would be running up to the parents of disabled children and saying 'can you give me any advice? I am expecting a Mong/Spazzer too.'

Why not? She has just done the equivalent to the OP regarding her child's race. If she's that ignorant I think you're being overly generous to assume she wouldn't use that terminology about her baby or anyone else's too.

And you are entitled to do so TheXxed. I prefer to worry about whether people are racist and mean with intent than worry about semantics, and people causing offence without intent. The woman needs educating, yes, but criticising and insulting, and having aspersions cast over her ability to raise a happy secure child - no.

OhmerGerd I think you are being a little bit disingeuous there.

If this person doesn't understand the vitriol behind that word how are they going to equip their child with the tools navigate an institutionally racist society.

I know to many broken people who have internalised racism. Most of whom were raised by well intentioned people.

I know one person who won't go out in the sun because they don't want to be any darker, I know person who tried to 'breed out' his blackness.

I am 24 these people are my peers were aren't talking about the bad old days.

Before the child is old enough to understand what's wrong with the term one hopes this woman will too. I am sure there is someone on her real life who will help her come to that understanding.

I'm on this thread to remind those who think this term is ok or seek to justify its use in anyway, that it's not ok. Persisting in doing so reveals a distinct lack of respect for the wishes of Black people living here in UK. I don't think there is anything disingenuous in that.

I just try to avoid ever mentioning people's 'colour' - it's easier

9% of South Africans are coloured. Maybe the woman's DH is South African and proud of it. There are loads of SA's in the UK.

YANBU I think most people would realise coloured isn't a preferred term these days.

When I moved to the UK I was pretty shocked at they term 'mixed race' TBH. I thought it sounded like a way of discussing animal breeds.

I don't refer to my son as mixed race. I don't think you need a label- as I said I'd grown up in a county where we didn't use one on forms and in every day speech. We'd just say 'he's part Asian' etc.

Well this is part of the problem - no-one non-white Or speaking on behalf of non-whites, whether with their blessing or not ) can agree amongst themselves to to be offended or not be offended by the same terms.

If we all stop worrying about it and asking people to define themselves on forms then there will be no need for anyone to define as anything other than themselves.

Michelle to do that we would have to forget the trans Atlantic slave trade and colonialism ever happened. Do you want black people to erase part of their history because it make others feel uncomfortable.

There is a difference between those trying to reclaim the word and those who just want the use end. Those who reclaim the word recognise the racist underpinnings.