AIBU to think if your own mothers refers to you as coloured

[Fusedog]

I was in tesco today talking to a women who was clearly pregnant we were down the baby isle and she started asking me about my dd hair, what I do with it ECt
Then she said I only ask because I am havering a coloured baby as well
AIBU to think this child stands no change in terms of self asteem in terms of her heritage or background if her own mother refers to her as coloured ffs

Btw I am black my ds is mixed the lady was white

I wasn't cross just felt a bit sorry for the baby she is gonna have

Well it's not a term I would ever use, as I am aware it causes offence sometimes. However, I hate to state the obvious, but given that her partner and the father of her child is black, she probably isn't racist, right?! So I which case YABU (although I understand why you don't like that term) but I sincerely doubt she meant it in a negative way. There is much more overt racism worth getting our knickers in a twist about, OP.

*I don't think you have to invent new terms

Black people are black
White people are white
Asian people are Asian

And mixed raced people are mixed raced or dule heritage*

But here Asian means people from India, Pakistan etc, but in the US it means people from China, Japan, Korea.

I'm always a little surprised that Chinese appears on forms and no other asian countries. What about Japanese, Filipino etc?

lljk yes! My mother (Indian) used to get bloody furious at the Paki jibe more because it was geographically inaccurate than it was racist. Go figure....

Imperial
Asia isn't a country. Asian also has evolved into a description of a vague ethnicity, although there are variations of course. South Asians differ in general characteristics to East Asians, and to Pacific Islanders etc.
all these words are just shorthand. The problem with a word like coloured or half caste is that they were used pejoratively and to denote inferiority during times when there was great structural inequality within society. People are understandably wary when they hear such terms used, wondering what it says about the views of the person usi them. Of course, many times people use them without intending to be racist. But if we want to be decent and sensitive people we should by and large try to avoid language that people find offensive when used to describe them.

settle something for me... in Britain is "Oriental" considered offensive? And if so, why? I know it's not the said thing, but wasn't sure if it's considered offensive or not.

As an American I like Oriental because it neats around the confusion of what "Asian" means. I suppose I could try "Far Eastern" instead.

Check this out: "what kind of Asian are you?"

hilarious - if it weren't too true.

Lady rabbit
I've met plenty of young women who see black partners as a status symbol, who talk about what 'black men like' as if they are one homogenous group and who totally fetishise these men and reduce them to racial stereotypes. Just because they are stereotypes that they find attractive (hyper masculine, flashy with cash and very sexual in this case) it doesn't mean they are exempt from being racist. It's just as shallow and reductionist as someone who thinks all black men are lazy or thieves.

I honestly didn't know that 'coloured' wasn't PC until I came on MN. 'Black' was not the said thing when I was young. 'Coloured' was polite.

Me too.

I'm only 40 but what's correct and what's considered offensive have changed a few times in my life and I only find out on mumsnet and alike what I'm supposed to be saying or not saying.

I don't live in a diverse area however that's just geography and not because I'm racist, I'm genuinely not. I just never hear what's considered right or wrong as racism simply doesn't exist in my life, so I don't know and get things wrong. I didn't know coloured was wrong.

It is definitely not just a mn thing. I have never met anyone under 60 who thinks it is acceptable in rl.

Ljkk I don't know whether oriental is offensive, it's certainly very old fashioned and rarely used. I don't think there is a problem with the term Asian, I tend to use South Asian or East Asian if I'm trying to be specific.

I didn't say she was a racist

I just worry about what ressilance the mother can offer her non white child if she herself reefers To black people as coloured this is not 1953

And I would expect somone who is having a mixed raced child to know unless you quite old the word coloured whent out with flares hopefully never to make a return*

I honestly didn't know that 'coloured' wasn't PC until I came on MN. 'Black' was not the said thing when I was young. 'Coloured' was polite
gosh really well i am pushing 50 and have known this to be considered rude since I was a kid.

Ludways your post made me giggle a bit I don't think anyone thinks your racist because you don't live in a diverse area and why would you BME only make up 10% of the population so chances are unless you live in the big city's there will be little to no black , Asians or anything else were you live

Nigella

I think it depends were your from London, and the big city's are defitaily and kind of a bubble

We went to Cornwall last year on hoilday and I think it only occurred to dd (14) that there just weren't black and Asian people everywhere

If I hear someone use the word 'coloured', I always ask them to specify which colour they mean. You can really hammer it home by ironically offering very stereotypical suggestions through narrowed eyes - black? brown? yellow? pink?

yes was just thinking that, I was a north London girl indeed, a different country in some ways...

Just because you have a child with a black person does not automaticly mean you are not a racist. I went to primary school with mixed race boy whose mother would regularly call him the N word if he was late coming out at home time.

I also went to school with another mixed race girl whose mother treated her as an accessory. Something to wheel out and prove her cool credentials.

In Zimbabwe a mixed race child is called coloured. In South Africa too. The Cape coloureds they refer to themselves as such. If you are black then you are refered to as black. Coloured is only for people with a white parent and another race.Half caste is also used in Zim but mainly because most people who use the term do not know how it came about. I have a mixed race child and here where i live they are called " blanding" meaning mix. Coloured would not bother me at all, but saying she is black would be incorrect. It was when i joined Mn that i found out coloured is offensive. I always use mixed race though..

It could be worse - I was called half caste or monrgel in the primary school playground in the '80's. Twas learnt from their parents who thought they kept up with the Jones' by shunning my parents at the same time. Fucking ignorami.

London (and it's edges) is definitely a bubble when it comes to race/race relations/classifications/race language/too many forward slashes.

These threads always make me

[Grin]

Blimey' CSI

Did you grow up in a London or another city?

(No need to reveal if you don't wish to)

Coloured is one of those words from a different time that just hasn't been appropriate for ages. Using the word coloured to mean black implies that white is the norm and anything else is different, when white is a colour too.

Oh, and YANBU.