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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Have I spoiled my sister's wedding?

77 replies

LittleRedDinosaur · 08/03/2014 06:48

I've just (2 mins ago) done a PT which is positive (yay!) but then immediately had a tummy lurching moment when I realised I'm now due on my little sisters wedding day.
I feel awful- we are very close and she'd be very upset if I'm not there........

Should we have had a TTC break last month to avoid this? (Do people do that?) I'm a bit of an old crone and my periods only came back when DD was just over a year old and have been a bit erratic so I thought we'd be trying for longer.

I don't think I was unreasonable... But I'm not sure my mum will see it that was and I'm bracing myself for mum being a bit cross for stealing thunder and my sister being really worried I'm not going to be there. Would you be upset if you were my sister?

DD1 was very late and induced at 42 weeks so maybe it'll be ok and I'll just waddle my enormous self up the aisle and have the baby afterwards....

Opinions welcome! Thanks

OP posts:

Chottie · 08/03/2014 06:52

Congratulations! what a lovely way to start the weekend.

Please don't give your Sis wedding another thought, life does go on despite weddings! You may be at the wedding pregnant, or you might be there with a new baby too!

If I was your mother I would be thrilled to have two wonderful happy events to look forward to and celebrate.

BikeRunSki · 08/03/2014 06:52

I missed my brother's wedding because I was 38 was pg a. It was 8 hours away. Didn't cross my mind to stop TTC for s month (also old crone). My nephew set me up a webcam! DB and SiL were fine.

pinkbear82 · 08/03/2014 06:52

Congratulations!

Don't let it eat you up too much. You'll work something out.

BikeRunSki · 08/03/2014 06:53

Chottie, what a lovely post!

Chottie · 08/03/2014 06:57

Thank you BRS :)

Original poster

LittleRedDinosaur · 08/03/2014 06:57

Thank you kind mumsnet!

OP posts:

DulcetMoans · 08/03/2014 06:59

Obviously will depends on the type of person your sister is but I would hope she will understand.

Two of my bridesmaids were heavily pregnant and I didn't resent them at all. Just because my wedding was the biggest thing in my life at the time didn't mean it was for everyone else! Luckily they both got to the day, although was touch and go for a bit for one of them who was in hospital with a false alarm two days before!

Maybe just explain you will be there if you can be and you will help with whatever you can beforehand.

Congrats and good luck!

redcaryellowcar · 08/03/2014 07:01

I don't think you've ruined it, just life carrying on, as it should. As you have said if events allow you will go, waddling or i assume with newborn ? If i were you, i would look for a breastfeeding friendly dress just in case!
Congratulations!

RestingActress · 08/03/2014 07:03

Congratulations! I agree with Chotties lovely post

CheshireDing · 08/03/2014 07:03

YABU to care about your sisters wedding when you have just found out you are pregnant, don't you know how many complaining wedding threads there are on mn
Congratulations for DC2, that's way more exciting than a wedding. Now start eating

ProudAS · 08/03/2014 07:03

Look on it as giving DSis a wedding present with a difference!

ProudAS · 08/03/2014 07:04

Look on it as giving DSis a wedding present with a difference!

ProudAS · 08/03/2014 07:04

Look on it as giving DSis a wedding present with a difference!

thegreatgatsby101 · 08/03/2014 07:06

Congratulations!

I agree with pp. don't give the wedding another thought. If you and your sister are close, she will be thrilled for you!

Original poster

LittleRedDinosaur · 08/03/2014 07:09

Excellent! Thanks everyone. Cheshire- am debating celebratory breakfast cake!

OP posts:

13loki · 08/03/2014 07:12

My sister did it to me. She decided not to be a bridesmaid, but she was my witness. She brought my brand new nephew to our wedding. He was beautiful. I did have a second where I thought all she had to do was not have sex for a few days, but then I rejected the bridezilla and was ecstatic for her. Plus now I can always remember how old DN is.

YeahBitchMagnets · 08/03/2014 07:15

Don't be daft! You are highly unlikely to give birth on your due date anyway, and unless you have a particularly difficult PG or birth you should be capable of attending the wedding even if you don't manage to stay all day/evening. I went to my best friend's wedding with a 7 day old baby.

And if you can't go, you can't go - you have the best reason in the world.

All I will say by way of advice is don't allow yourselves to be drawn into any silly sibling rivalry over your being PFB New Mum and her being all Bridezilla, and don't start jockeying for position over who monopolises your parents' time and the limelight the most. Both of you need to be grown up and understanding about things and be happy and accommodating for one another, however the proceedings overlap.

HollaAtMeBaby · 08/03/2014 07:16

Congratulations! Is the wedding near to where you live/want to give birth?

fairylightsintheloft · 08/03/2014 07:18

I was a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding in the middle of nowhere at 38 weeks.Honestly unless your sister is a total bridezilla nightmare she'll be happy for you and my DD loves looking at the photos and sayong that she was there!

BrightNewBeginnng · 08/03/2014 07:18

Do some planning around who will look after DC1 while you give birth and it'll be fine.
Congratulations.

GlaikitFizzog · 08/03/2014 07:22

My big question is, is the wedding child free???

Congrats btw!

Original poster

LittleRedDinosaur · 08/03/2014 07:24

No, Holla, it's about 5 hours away but I'm just going to travel up early and have the baby up there if needed..... Not ideal but I'm sure it'll be fine - and at least there will be people to look after DD1 if I do end up having number 2 there!

OP posts:

LtEveDallas · 08/03/2014 07:24

My gorgeous neice had 6 bridesmaids at her wedding last year. One has no children and no plans to have them. 2 were pregnant (one 'due' on the day and had her baby 3 days later) one had her baby 3 months previously, one had her baby 1 month previously and one had her baby 3 days before the wedding (and oh bloody hell he was gorgeous!)

It was still a fabulous wedding, the bridesmaids looked amazing and everyone had a brilliant time.

Congratulations and don't worry about it.

Kittymalinky · 08/03/2014 07:29

My DH missed being his best friends best man because I was due the wknd of the wedding.

We were all a bit disappointed (as much as you can be when you're excited about your baby too) They totally understood and made a point of sending us the photos as soon as the could.

bedhaven · 08/03/2014 07:30

Congratulations! If you were my sister, I'd be delighted for you. That said, I might have a few selfish feelings too but they would be overridden by logic my joy at having a new member of the family, my new niece or nephew. It's reasonable for them to have a few qualms but unreasonable to make it a spoiler.
It's not something that can be changed(!) so everyone will have to just get on and hope it all goes to plan. As you say, you were late with your last and hope the same will happen this time. I was 2 weeks late with both of mine, not sure if gestation times are more likely to be similar?
You seem sensitive to her feelings so hopefully unlikely to be always going on about your pregnancy when she wants to get excited about her wedding.

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