little boy with autism

[x2boys]

my three your old was diagnosed with autism and some learning difficulties at xmas at the moment life is awful both myself and my husband work opposite shifts to work around childcare I,m a nurse in a very stressful job work have not been at all supportive of my circumstances would I be being unreasonable to give up work for a bit to care for my son he is quite demanding with a terrible sleep pattern . we would have to claim some benefits we are currently awaiting a decision on dla . I would have to claim child tax credits housing benefit carers allowance but we would have a quality of life and there are all sorts of support groups and discounted days out that we can never go to and we could actually be a family I,m a trained nurse I wouldn't want to give up work for ever maybe a couple of years until my son is more settled what are peoples thoughts?

OP sweetie, you and your family are the people benefits are made for, meant to help in a difficult time. I think it is very obviously the right decision and I wish you and your little boy and the rest of your family all the very best.

Once you get the DLA and careers allowance you can get in many places for free, legoland for example you will only pay for DS and not you. Also fast track rides and attractions.

DS would not be able to Que. so when we go out 9/10 take proof with you and then you will get these thing to make life easier

Benefits aren't really made for anyone in particular.

You don't need to justify your decision to the world at large, if you are eligible and it works for you, claim and it is nobody else's business, morality doesn't enter into it. There are billionaires on benefits, it's just not something to consider on moral grounds.

I think it would benefit your son to have some intensive 1:1 support from someone who has his best interests at heart. You could also do with as little extra stress as possible. If you can afford it, then that sounds like the best option for now. You can review it regularly; it's not like you are committing yourself forever.

thankyou clara lovely message and everybody really everbodys been very kind

Hard to believe this is AIBU

just one question I have never had a private message on here how do I find it clara?

Up at the top of the page there's a little envelope labelled Inbox. When you have a message it will show a little red flag. Click on it to get to messages.

I got it thanks .

Yanbu. I was in a similar position 2years ago. Same job as you, and very very stressful, with a manager who didn't have a clue how to support any of her staff.

I handed in my notice and it was the best thing i ever did.

I took a year out to sort out everything with ds - he has a type of dyspraxia - and get all of his therapies up and running. As well as spending more time with him that he needed far more then his older sisters did.

A few months ago I went back to work, similar job but at a lower level, and far less stress. I explained my circumstances in my interviews and had no problem finding work again.

So far it is all working out very well. Ds is settled, dh and I are less stressed out. Taking that year out was the best decision and I would make the same decision again.

thankyou everyone good night you have all been lovely and very kind

As everybody else says if you wait until DLA is sorted (and I cannot stress enough use help either an adviser at the CAB or other org or one of the charity guides to do the forms and if they turn you down get help to appeal the success of appeals is about 70%)

Then it will be so much easier to do the other benefits, caring responsibilities for a disabled person are in most circumstances enough to avoid the issues dwp can impose when you resign.but you need to DLA to prove the disability.

my dla form is being processed I got a lot of help from my sons portage worker who advised me to apply so we shall see thankyou

Wishing you well op. Do what's right for you and your family. Good luck