To have just shouted at a horse rider outside my house

[BigRedBall]

Have namechanged for privacy.

I am so angry right now. We sometimes (twice a year at most) get horses going past our house as we live around the corner from a small private farm. We live in a city, so it's quite a novelty when we hear the sound of "clip clop" outside.

About 20 mins ago we heard the sound of clip clop and I took DS to the front room to look outside. As we watched the horses go by one stopped and kind of turned around and SHITTED RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DRIVEWAY. Not a small bit...a big arse full of horse shit. And the rider laughed at her other horsey friends.

As soon as I saw it I put my shoes on and ran outside and the rider was going on her way again. Her friends had gone up ahead. I ran up to her shouting "excuse me" and she wouldn't stop. I shouted at her if she was going to clear up the horse poo outside my house and she replied "stop shouting at me" without even turning around to see I had a toddler in my arms.

I couldn't go any further because I was holding my DS and had left a sleeping baby inside.

Now I have a pile of horse shit outside my house, and I want to actually KILL this horse rider. Our road is a school route and I don't want children stepping in it but why the fuck should I have to clear it up? I am so pissed off. I want to get into the car and hunt down the fuckers and pull them back by their ears and tell them to clean it.

Look OP, you've saved yourself a whole fiver by not having to go to B&Q to buy a bag of horse manure. Think of it on a par with potting compost or bagged sand... If it was such a terrible, evil substance, they probably wouldn't charge so much to sell it in every single DIY and garden centre in the country
www.diy.com/nav/garden/garden-care-watering/compost-sand-bark/specialist_compost/B-and-Q-Horse-Manure-11227536?skuId=11738240

limited, that's one of the most disgusting things I've heard

YABVVU.

You could have caused a serious accident. The horse could have been terrified and galloped off. Or did it never occur to you that horses kick?

To run behind a horse aggressively screaming and shouting is a ridiculously stupid thing to do.

I can't believe you put your child at risk of being kicked.

All because of a pile of digested grass that will either be flattened by a car, or washed away within a few hours?

It was the nappy idea that got me, I'm just in bits over that.

As for the pooper scoopering plan, where are you supposed to hang your wheelbarrow on a saddle?

limitedperiodonly - did you see that episode of Bear Grylls where he was running low on water, and so had to suck the water out of some manure he found?

I think I've got quite a strong stomach, but that made me retch...

Laughing at the thought of me shouldering a shovel and bin big when next out riding, jumping off my 18hh horse, somehow managing to keep hold of said horse and get poo into bag and then remounting with shovel and bag of poo. Not going to happen.

I very much doubt she laughed when her horse took the shit. I have hacked countless times with countless different people and no one I know has ever laughed when our horse has taken a dump, because it's just nothing out of the ordinary.
Would you rather she got off the horse and, while farting around picking up the shit, accidentally let the horse loose in the road to cause havoc? It's ridiculous to get off a horse on the road unless absolutely necessary in an emergency.

What you are suggesting would have been unsafe.

You sound as mad as a box of frogs.

OMG this thread would be hilarious if the op didn't behave so moronically and dangerously.

I love the Big Brown Ball name bahahah. Can people really be like the op in the real world though? So utterly urbanised they have lost their roots completely?

It reminds me of the time when I taught horse 'back' riding in the States and some of the urban girls at the camp refused to walk on the beautifully manicured lawns as they said it was dirty with bugs in!

Utterly shocking to think that people can be so urbanised that normal events in the countryside could be considered so abnormal and anger provoking.

Horses do wear nappies in some places:
www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-1357876/Viennas-fiaker-horses-forced-wear-nappies.html But it's only carriage horses, not riding horses.

I have hacked countless times with countless different people and no one I know has ever laughed when our horse has taken a dump
sorry but my friends and i laughed like drains when one of our horses took a dump outside a hairdressers, as described upthread. in our defence we were only about 17

Dobbin Diapers
Nag Nappies
Pony Pampers

Just thinking of the name before I go on Dragons Den. Think Duncan will be in or out?

I've just Googled and horse manure costs around £75 per 1000 litres in this area. If you don't want it OP offer it to a keen gardener, they'll be very grateful.

And shouting and running after a horse is dangerous and bonkers. Even more so when you're holding a toddler. In fact it seems such an obvious thing not to do I'm desperately hoping this is a reverse AIBU.

My revolting dog loves a big steaming pile of horse poo to eat and then he rubs his face in it......

We live in a part if London that has lots of horses, of course they make a mess but after a coupled of cars have driven over it who can tell. It will soon rain again and was it away. Just relax a bit.....

Near her house. A horse shat near her house. Not in it, near it.
I don't think I've ever encountered this level of entitledness before.
I think I need to walk away now.

In our local riding school the protocol is if your horse has poo'd out on a public road. is that

you have to go back and remove it, which i think is fair enough

Shovels come with telescopic handles you know, that's how squaddies used to manage to carry their kit and dig their own latrines.
www.ebay.co.uk/bhp/army-folding-shovel
Problem is, whilst the rider is pooperscooping, the horse is eating the roses and anything else it fancies out of your garden.

Really madmum? how do they manage that if the horse pooed miles away?

I think you're getting a hard time, OP.

I accept it's an occupational hazard in the countryside but as a fellow townie I'd be pretty pissed off if a colon full of nag shit was left for me to plough through, dispose of or wait for someone else to do the honours for their roses.

That said I think shouting was ill-advised however tempting. The thing could bite or rear or bolt

Horse bungs anyone? They would have tp have a small mesh filter to permit the gradual escape of methane to prevent forceful and potentially dangerous bung expulsion. Much less convenient than heavy nappies between the rear legs.

how did you expect her to clear it up op?

Horse and cart, or travois.
You know it makes sense, you could flog the manure on the way back to the stables and make some cash.

We have that mole book somewhere - FIL got it for our boy, in Italian...