Convince me that having a larger car than you need is not selfish.

[Rooners]

Because I cannot think of a single reason why it's not. I'm talking about cars that are huge for the sake of it, not cars that carry wheelchairs, or loads of people, in a relatively compact and utilitarian manner.

But something that only has 4/5 seats yet is the size of a small tractor - and no, I don't think this is wrong if you live somewhere with poor terrain. But if you don't?

1. They take up more space when the last things we need on our crowded roads are unnecessarily supersized vehicles.

1. You can't see past them because they are often much higher than 'normal' cars - great for the person driving the thing, rubbish for everyone else

1. They tend to use a larger amount of fuel than a 'normal' car - which is, unarguably, utterly unfair given the fuel crisis the world is facing.

1. They don't fit into a normal parking space which causes untold problems in car parks.

1. They don't fit in a narrow road so cause hold ups as people try to pass each other.

So please convince me, if you can be bothered, that I ought not to be so cross when I am trying to use the roads and one of these massive tanks makes it difficult, dangerous or just really bloody awkward.

I am willing to listen. It's that or spontaneous combustion really.

Rooners why did you mention that you will downsize your bed? What on earth has that got to do with anything?

sevensev much of the time those cars will have been crushed so badly because they collided with much bigger, heavier cars.

Can't remember who posted this but apparently people in cities could use "the tube".

I live near a city with no "tube". I think you'll find your understanding of what all cities can offer is lacking. There is a very limited bus service after 8pm where I live.

Not that this justifies my 4 X 4 but it does show how much more driving is necessary for those not in the SE or not in very large cities elsewhere.
The more you have to drive the more important your car becomes with comfort, safety, fuel economy, space etc playing a part in the decision making process.

I don't understand the desire for handbags costing £100's but I could ponder that it's selfish to spend that much on a handbag when a basic one would do and you could donate the difference to charity or put it in a savings account to help fund your child's further education.

There are huge vans/lorries and buses of all sizes on the road which block vision waaaaay more than a modest 4 x 4.

Personally I think the blingy 4 x 4 's (such as R R OVERFINCH) are terribly non-U/chavvy, interpret that how you will and usually belong to the "more money than sense" section of society

I think chavvy is banned on mn, you are only allowed to slag off genuinely rich people. Again I am bewildered why I or anyone have to justify our vehicles to anyone other than our bank manager. Why do I have to answer to a random woman on a mothering forum. Mad.

oh well you'd hate me - I've just driven from my house that's bigger than I need (3 beds with 2 preschool DCs, if I was in social housing I'd have to pay the bedroom tax) in my DH's estate car that while not being high, is the same length and width as most 4X4s (and eats petrol) to pick DS up from preschool - and a journey of 0.3miles I could have walked (which I normally do, we were running late). I don't need a car this big for day to day, DH is a cyclist so for about 2 hours a week we need an estate car, far too expensive and a faff to hire a car every weekend, so for the bulk of the week we have a car that's bigger than we need.

I say for the bulk of hte week we have this, but at the moment we do actually own 2 cars, I have a little fiesta as well, but we're getting rid of it, we can't justify the expense of continuing to run 2 cars now that we only really need one (DH commutes by train), and of the two, the big car is the one that will suit all situations we need a car for, whereas the small car wouldn't.

My life, like most people in the UK, is full of things I don't really need, that aren't my basics - we could cope with no car, it would limit what we did, but we'd cope. We could cope with a much smaller house (using far less fuel to heat and light it), we could cope without meat, with less clothes, the DCs don't need their mountain of toys and we don't need most of the things we own/buy - but for the bulk of them, they make our lives a little bit better. They are selfish purchases, but few people with spare money make 100% unselfish choices.

A large car makes our life a little easier, it's selfish, but most humans are in some way selfish - you aren't selfish about cars, well done, you aren't selfish in one area of your life - look around you, anything in the room you are in now that you don't need that's taken fossil fuels to make/transport? Why do you have it if you don't need it? Because you wanted it? Because it made your life just a tiny bit easier/nicer?

According to euro ncap, a VW golf is safer than a discovery and Q7. I'm surprised.

But it looks crap

referring to the OP, I think, in a sense, having anything you don't need is selfish.

we don't really need many/nice clothes, much heating, tasty food, enough space in our homes. but they make life more enjoyable. and we all do it in different ways.

if we weren't selfish we could all give more money to charity but it is very rare for someone to make a large personal sacrifice for people outside their family and friends.

I drive a Renault Scenic atm but tomorrow, after 20 years of MPVs and estate cars (apart from a year) I am picking up my new Golf. I am looking forward to it. It will be cheaper to run, is just as spacious inside and a lot easier to drive.

We looked at a Volvo V40 cross country, which was actually too small for us (have 2 6'3 teens) and that is safer than most cars as it has an airbag under the bonnet. The salesman said it was the safest car on the road, I don't know how true that was, but I do know that bigger the car does not automatically mean it is safer.

We, also, have a Polo which DH uses for his 49 mile rural commute. I crashed a Polo in the 90's and it was very, very badly damaged. I walked away with a broken nose and a black eye.

Mary, (and others) yes of course anything we don't need is sort of selfish. But the impact it has directly on other people is mostly less than the size of car we drive.

'Alibabaandthe40nappies Tue 04-Mar-14 13:47:28

Rooners why did you mention that you will downsize your bed? What on earth has that got to do with anything?

I was asked by another poster whether I sleep in a standard double bed and not a king size as apparently that has a bearing on my question.

Fwiw there seems to be an influx of Dodge/Hilux type cars round here, not sure where they come from!

Well I can't justify my car and I don't feel I have to. My husband and I both have a 4x4 each. No extenuating circumstances for either. Just like them.
I didn't get a ridiculously large pram though a very small one as babies are only little.

rooners Mary, (and others) yes of course anything we don't need is sort of selfish. But the impact it has directly on other people is mostly less than the size of car we drive.

really?
European commercial fishing off the African coast living the very poor locals with few fish to eat/sell to generate a small income seems a far bigger issue.
westerners having large carbon foot print but the people who suffer will be e.g. Bangladesh.

these seem like bigger issues than someone having a large car (you need to look at distance driven per year to understand fuel consumption and carbon cost)

'My husband and I both have a 4x4 each. No extenuating circumstances for either. Just like them.
I didn't get a ridiculously large pram though a very small one as babies are only little.'

Your logic carries across faultlessly there

Regarding carbon footprint and fishing and so on, I think it's on a different level. I am not a scientist of any sort, and may well be misguided about that topic but yes, you are right, it matters a lot that people in Africa are able to feed their communities. Probably more than whether I can fit through a gap in a narrow road.

Honestly OP you sound as though you need a 4 x 4. Your personal bias against them sounds terribly impractical. Considering all this doing up houses you do, how on earth do you fit all the bits you buy from the DIY store in your small car? It must be a mess. At least with the estate or the X5 its separate from the rest of the car. Big bits of plasterboard for example and skirting boards fit lengthways in a big car. Do you really hire a vehicle every time you buy stuff and why do you buy stuff 200 miles away without arranging delivery as part of the deal?

How does your small car cope with the ruts and stones on the narrow twisty private road I have to drive up and down twice a day? I got stuck in the snow so many times last winter - getting out and pouring road salt under your wheels every 5 minutes leaves your hands covered in sores. Reversing downhill round a corner in snow to have another go generally gets you stuck in a ditch. Yes, I guess I could have walked or cycled or ran, carrying whatever heavy stuff I had in the car on my back the 8 miles or so to the city centre. Maybe I could have built a bus depot in my spare time.

Honestly though if there were an S Bahn line within 3 miles I would be happy. But there isn't. This is Britain, and the real problem is people who drive small cars all over the city centre thinking it is ok because they are not driving big cars.

I didn't have a car for five years, until two months ago. I took public transport or taxis everywhere and felt very smug indeed about it.

When I got pregnant with twins DH pointed out that the whole public transport thing wasn't really going to work with two newborns, and that it might be better if I got used to being back on the road before they were born.

Fine, I said, but if I'm going to get behind the wheel after some time, in a country where the driving is crazy, I want the biggest fuck off urban assault vehicle we can find. So that everyone thinks long and hard before cutting me up or trying anything stupid.

We got a massive 4 x 4. If anyone runs into me it will hurt him far, far more than it will hurt me or my kids. Yeah, probably selfish. It's very nice though. I reckon I've paid my dues with all the public transport armpits I sniffed in five years.

Because i don't overly care what the op thinks about me owning a 7 seater suv.

Because i like my 7 seater suv and the space it gives us when we visit the uk.

For me, having a bigger car have me more road confidence. It felt safer and more solid, and I increased the journeys I was making where before a lack of confidence was really holding me back.

Disclaimer - DH says I shouldn't be in any car as my driving is so incredibly poor he thinks I seduced my examiner!

LessMissAbs could you please not be so patronising? My car isn't particularly under discussion here and neither is my manner of coping with the demands of my own life choices.

I fit stuff in fine thanks. If I can get 10ft roofing sheets into a fiesta I really don't anticipate too many problems with the Meriva. My delivery arrangements are none of your concern.

We have 2 4x4s. A Q7 which means in the snow my kids actually get to school and a panda. DH needed a 4x4 or wouldn't get to the station in bad weather but we didn't want 2 monster trucks plus as DH says his penis is that huge he doesn't need a big car to feel manly!!

I do think mumsnetters are overly obsessed with what cars others drive. More so than the rest of the population.

On a thread a while back I asked what would be your dream car ? The majority of answers were Defenders, with all the modifications etc. I think a lot of people would snatch your hand off if you offered them a 4x4 to replace their own car.

You buy what you want or can afford. I drive a monster because I want to. Oh and shock horror, there's usually only me in it. I paid for it, I pay the massive road tax and I pay for the fuel.

In an accident, my 3 tonnes of metal is quite tank like and I like that.

I feel safer in a bigger car. Especially since I got rear ended by a HGV. I doubt we would have come out of that unscratched in a KA. As it was we were in a Mondeo estate and lived to talk about it on mumsnet.

I wouldn't have to worry about being squashed by bigger things if there weren't selfish wankers insistence in travelling by bus/having groceries delivered to their local supermarket.

Oh and DS1s first car......a Defender 110......I'm so selfish.

Why shouldn't you and your car be under discussion if you are criticising other people's choice? What makes your choices exempt from this discussion? And why did you ask me to describe how I would deal with getting a large delivery from 200 miles away if you didn't want to know? And no, my answer was not to spend hours arranging some strange shared logistical delivery, but simply to pay for delivery to be included in the price and leave the seller to sort it out, like virtually everyone else does.

tbh I don't really think you are someone whose example I would follow. The way you have described doing things sounds incredibly cumbersome and more expensive than simply buying a car more suitable for your needs. Not everyone shares your moral objection to big cars. I admit I have a bit of a problem with the pushing of small cars to be driven around town or city and see that as a far worse problem than big cars which last for years, not always in the same home. But its not my business.

God, I want a Defender. I drive a 4x4 hybrid now and I have the 'up high' bug. When I upgrade in 2 years I'm getting a full on 4x4, it's ruined me for normal cars.