To be slightly glad my DC ('dear' cat) never came home...

[rolloverandshitmarsbars]

Light-hearted, but serious
Since she disappeared 8 months ago I have not had to:

-Cover the worktops, fridge and cupboards with sellotape every night to prevent her sleeping all over them. No cats on worktops.
-Remove all traces of water droplets from around sink - she would lap them. No cats on worktops!
-Keep bathroom door closed so she didn't sleep in the sink/bath.
-Be sad about the nose scratches that appeared weekly on my other cats.
-Close doors to stop her sleeping on the baby.
-Open doors slowly, leading with a foot to stop her rushing through, upstairs and under the bed so that I get to lie flat, wriggle under and drag her out shouting and squirming.
-Tape cardboard and old bits of carpet to the lower half of all the doors I had to close because she scratched and destroyed them.
-Close all windows, even upstairs because she could and would get through them so she could get under the bed, or sleep on the baby.
-Discover poo hoards.

Unsurprisingly I got used to not doing these things quite quickly. If she showed up now, I'd be a little cross quite frankly.

Don't worry, at first I was sad and spent weeks coordinating house checks within a 2 miles radius, 3am night walks to call for her and I stuck a picture of her on top of the fridge so I could tell her off.
But, when I think of the additional work she created and what I have saved buying sellotape, I am afraid I just don't want her back. Unreasonable?!

[NearTheWindymill]

Well my little boys have just been loved and allowed to chill so they never pooed and stuff. Where was your cat allowed to sleep btw? Interested? Two of my boys sleep on the bed with me and DH and the other boy either sleeps on the armchair in our bedroom or on dd's bed or at the bottom of her wardrobe. All nice and comfy and warm and loved. So the don't have to sleep in the basin. They do like a nice cosy waitrose bag though.

[Capitola]

Hope the cat reads this.

[LouiseSmith]

What the actual F... Did I just read? Seriously....

Poor poor cat, my cats a pain, and I could kill her at times, especially when I've just scrubbed her vile litter tray, and put it back down and she goes straight into it a does the smelliest poo ever.

But id never be happy if she left.

[Beastofburden]

This has to be a wind up. I have this picture of a mad house with cardboard and carpet taped to the doors, Sellotape everywhere and poo hoards.

Seriously?

Let the poor creature sleep under the bed. Wipe the work tops before you use them. Get a cat net for the baby.

[livenlet]

Your mental , putting sellotape on work tops. We had a few cats as kids when they get old they leave home to die this happened with 2 of ours but 1 came back 2 YEARS later, another found a new home over the road (dont feed other peoples cats you theves) 2 I think were stolen 1 was found squished in the road and one was poisened probably shiting in other peoples gardens ,

[rolloverandshitmarsbars]

Oh no. I only read a few replies and think I will stop there. I have made a mistake I think. I did say light-hearted. There was a wink too but I have only just discovered mumsnet so there is probably something I have gotten wrong. I have read a few threads and you all seemed quite funny and jokey. I have missed something and have caused upset whilst not really meaning to. I am glad a changed my username because these replies make me really uncomfortable.

I don't think stopping my cats going upstairs and on the worktops to be unusual. She was a very feisty and spirited cat and liked to argue and push everything, hence how much of a presence she was in terms of how I had to manage her. Sellotape stopped her muddy paws all over the worktops, no other form of 'training' has made the blindest piece of difference. This is all I was saying really, that she was so difficult and quite unlike most other cats. It is ok to miss the bad things, and obviously (I thought obviously) I would love her back more than anything. She was 7 years old and had enough attitude to live 3 times as long again. We are sort of thinking she is not dead. We live on a quiet street and would likely know if she'd been run over. She would do as she damn well pleased, which included getting into a car or two, so perhaps in years to come, she'll return to us. I do agree though, she was not a happy cat, and we have had her since she was a teeny abandoned kitten. She has always been the same. We put her behaviour down to a lack of a cat-mother. I worked for a cat rescue for 5 years and often saw kittens who grew up without their real mums struggle to get on easily.

I'd like to think, if I stay using mumsnet, I would never be as rude to another person as some posters have been here. Whilst your identity is condensed to a username it is really easy to be a cock, but you don't have to be.

[HuskyWoman]

'She was not a happy cat'
Really.....
It's easy to be a cock, especially to animals it wold seem.

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

usual

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

OP
Why didnt you just keep her out of the kitchen?

[Caitlin17]

What an unpleasant post. I hope she found a nicer home.

[Caitlin17]

Going to hide this but am astonished at your self righteous sense of grievance at the replies you've received. What were you expecting? .

[innisglas]

Whao, I love cats, but I am shocked at the people who feel morally superior to you because you dare to admit that life is easier without that cat.
I had a dearly loved cat who died of cancer at the age of eight. The last year I spent a fortune on the vet and special foods, but after he died I realised that most of the cat problems I had had disappeared, he had been responsible for nearly all of them. I loved him and I always treated him well, but it is nice not having my things destroyed.

[LEMmingaround]

Thing is, the cat doesn't care. She clearly didnt like the decor and has moved on to a new owner tin opener

[Sparklingbrook]

I am funny and jokey wherever possible. But not when it comes to missing cats I am afraid roll.

What on earth is your NN all about?

[rolloverandshitmarsbars]

I still don't quite understand the horrible posts. I don't think my tone is wildly different from lots of other threads I have seen and I haven't seen people be so mean so easily.
YoureBeing - If I was able to keep her out of the kitchen, then I would of course have done that, but that would also have meant excluding her from the house entirely as the catflap is in the kitchen.

I can tell from a few posts here that some of you know each other. I've lost already and there is not much I can say now. I don't want to say anything horrible or be directly rude to someone so will likely skim the thread to avoid getting angry.

[rolloverandshitmarsbars]

Sparkling - just saw that above my post as it appeared. My nn is just a retort from one of the characters on League of Gentlemen. When Pauline is confronted by her boss I think. They brsitle and circle each other and that's what one of them says. It made me cry with laughter at the time.

[KinderBoris]

I'm with you op.

That cat sounded like bloody hard work.

[StarGazeyPond]

I'd like to think, if I stay using mumsnet

I'd namechange if I were you!

And I hope the mars bars you shit are giant sized!

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

I meant keep her in another room(s)

What does people 'knowing' each other have to do with anything?

[usualsuspect33]

Of course some of us know each other, that's how forums work.

[LurcioLovesFrankie]

Interesting first post, OP - not necesssarily in a "trollollollolloll" way, but more in a "really, genuinely, possibly the weirdest first post I've ever seen" sort of way. I mean, if this is genuine, seriously, you need to talk to someone in real life about your issues - sellotaping covers on the work surfaces every night instead of just washing them before you prepare food? I just seriously hope for your sake that you're a bored 13-year-old on a wind-up mission. (Backs away slowly, maintaining eye contact till a safe distance is reached, then legs it).

[rolloverandshitmarsbars]

Caitlin17 - I am surprised because I started a thread with light hearted intentions, fully expecting loads of people to come on and tell me all about their exasperating cat stories and I would smile and it would give me something to do this evening in between my daughter waking with her cough. I am surprised because I have so radically misjudged something that I didn't even give a second thought to being misunderstood. And surprised by the vileness of what people will say.

[Sparklingbrook]

You could namechange. I have never watch LOG so it was a bit 'whoaa what's that about'?

[LEMmingaround]

I do think people are being a bit harsh. The op did what she could to find the cat. It was a bit of a foolish thread but you'll find your feet op. Sellotape sll over the house? You're batshit youll fit right in. The cat has probably moved in with a mad cat lady.

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

I think maybe lurk some more and get a better grasp of how your posts might be received before you post them.