to be completely torn between career and family life?

[MamaSmurf99]

I have always wanted to teach. However, I also thought I was infertile until I fell pregnant with dd1. I now have two dd2's age 5 years and 15 months. They are more important to me than anything. My dp of 3 years wants us to move to live with him. He was meant to move to live with us before dd2 was born but complications with his exW and his children meant this changed at the last minute. This is true, and not an excuse on his part.

I am in the end stages of my degree. Dp wants to live together once I've graduated. This means I cannot afford to train as a teacher. I would love to all live together, and would be happy to be a SAHM until the children are all 9/10 which he is happy to support but then what? I'd be older and unqualified and I don't want to end up working in a supermarket and be bitter that I didn't go for my ambition.

In an ideal world I'd continue working part-time and self-employed until dd2 is 3 then train as a teacher. This would mean not living together for around 3 years which he hates the thought of but would support. The kids and I are settled and in a routine so would continue to cope fine. If I move in with him I'd have to quit my job as the childcare costs wouldn't be covered. I know I should train this year and get it done then move in with him but I hate the thought of dd2 being in childcare so much so young and would not be able to fully commit to my training because of that.

Moving in with him doesn't mean seeing him any more than we currently do as he works long hours and can't be relied on to do anything around the house or with the kids. But I would like to be a normal family and just enjoy life. If any of these ramblings have remotely made sense to you, perhaps you can advise and tell me if iabu in what I want and for having no clue what to do?

[Caitlin17]

I clicked on this thread expecting it to be about a Nicola Horlick high flyer who is burnt out. "Torn between a career and family life "is a bit over - dramatic-millions of men and women manage both.
Your problem is not being torn between a career and family life. Your family are your 2 girls and there is no reason why you can't be their mother and have a career.

This man is your boyfriend and the fathet of one of your girls and a not particularly good one.