Who is being unreasonable?

[Regbooboo]

You may have seen my previous posts on whether I should join my husband to live in Canada. I have decided that I will give it a try as he has lived in the UK for 11 years even though he hated it. I have told my DD (34 years) and DS (28 years) and my son is OK with it although obviously he will miss me.

My DD on the other hand is very upset that I am going and leaving her and DGS (22 months). I will be coming back every six months for a visit and to stay six weeks or so.

My DD and my DH (not her dad) have never got on and she has always resented him from day one. One of the reasons he went back to Canada is because she is so controlling. I posted a pic on Facebook of me and DGS and my DH commented that I looked good and that he was looking forward to me coming to join him "in our little house on the prarie" (as we call it). DD commented "Yeah Mum you will be happy then". DH then retorted with "thanks for your support". All a bit nasty really. Once again I AM STUCK IN THE MIDDLE and I am fucking totally fed up with it. She says he's got his own way and rubbing her nose in it and he says why can't he comment that he's looking forward to me arriving. I sometimes wish I was completely on my own and to let them all get on with it.

Would like to know who is being unreasonable (if anyone) in this instance?

Sorry for long post but no-one else to discuss with.

Thanks for your patience.

thumbwitch - the comment I made that the OP "got an easy ride" was only relating to the fact that many of the earlier posts were skewed towards the OP and how manipulative and controlling the DD is.

I'm certainly not being as presumptuous to sum up the OP's life as being "an easy ride", and I apologise if it comes across like that - I just felt that in the interests of balance it was important to spare a thought for the DD - yes her current behaviour might be seen to be unacceptable, but when viewed in the context of her life with her DM, well that's a different matter

I agree that this is a complex set of circumstances - so the OP's question "who is being unreasonable" is massively simplifying it, as if there is a good person and a bad person.

Going to Canada will resolve OP's situation, sure - but it will undoubtedly be at the expense of the relationship with her DD - that has to be her choice. She may be able to make the peace before she goes, but long-term it is difficult to know if her DD will be able to come to terms with it. The lack of proximity, the distance in miles will not help. Again, its like she is making a choice, and that choice doesn't benefit DD.

Daisychain, yes your comment did come across exactly as though you thought her life had been an easy ride, not her trip through AIBU!
I understand what you mean, now.

What pinkdelight said.

I agree that your DH need not have made the photo of you and your grandchildren about himself and his claim to you. Strange place to comment on your move, a picture of your grandchildren, no?

Wow, massive projecting going on in this thread with many assumptions made for good measure. It makes me wonder if some people can actually comprehend more than a couple of sentences. Mumsnet at it's worst. Poor Op.

Your DH was being really insensitive when he commented on your GC's photo. What was he trying to do? He could have commented on the photo like most people but no, he chose to turn it into 'miss you blah blah ant wait for you to come to meee' fest. Horrible of him.

Arf at Timetofly managing to combine armchair psychology ("massive projecting") with predictable "Mumsnet at its worst". OP asked who was being unreasonable - and folk answered.