Letter addressed to DH

[gelati3]

Started a business with DH, equal shares. Got advice from accountants- we both attended the meetings. Fee invoice and covering letter addressed to DH only. AIBU to think this is sexist?

YANBU.

When Dh (then DP) moved into the house I'd owned for two years and we put him on the council tax and electoral register, they moved my name down a slot and put his name at the top on the form they use to check who needs a vote, presumably simply because he's a Mr and I'm not.

That gave me the rage.

Just ring them up and request they address you both next time. Job done, and they will (ought to be) embarrassed.

It's just habit, most of their clients will be grey haired businessMEN with wifeys at home. Not worth stressing about.

YANBU. Call them and correct them.

I guess the question is; would you have minded if the letter had been addressed to you only?

tbh I'd be so annoyed, I'd take the work away from them and tell them why. If they haven't got enough attention to detail regarding respect for their clients and ownership of business details, then quite possibly they will get other stuff wrong too. Businesses with more than one owner are hardly unusual, I am sure they don't purely deal with sole traders.

Thanks for your responses. BuzzardBird, I would mind if letter addressed to me only.

I would worry about their standing as accountants. Do they know what they are doing?

An invoice addressed to an individual only applies if you are a sole trader. If you both own the business, that's not possible, you must be a Ltd or Partnership, in which case the invoice should be to the business name, not any of the owners.

Would you have thought it sexist rather than a mistake if the letter had been addressed to you only?

I agree with others - just call them and ask for it to be corrected on their records.

Agree with LessMiss. Total lack of attention to detail, if not outright sexist. Either tell them you're unhappy and give them a second chance, or tell them why you're leaving.

yes this is bloody annoying. i'd correct them.

i hired a lawyer to write mine and dh's wills. one for each of us. he wrote it up and sent a letter plus one will (my dh's will) to my dh - and referenced me only as 'your wife'. i was paying the bill. i fired him.

In that case I would call them :)

Some computer systems make it harder to pick up both names on letters and you have to remember to end it (assuming you can edit it) so it may not be sexist as such

DH and I recently received a letter addressed to Mrs and Mr (My, clearly female, Name) CuttingOutTheCrap.

We couldn't work out if that was better or worse than the usual Mr and Mrs (His name) CuttingOutTheCrap that we usually get!, but it made us laugh at least

My DH is the other Director of my business. Any marketing/sales bumpf is only ever addressed to him!

YABU. It could be a simple error.

I would worry about their standing as accountants.

As would I.

That is incredibly unprofessional to the point of looking sloppy.

That's not who I want doing the accounts of my business.

I would leave it a day or 2, they may send out the same letter but addressed to you.

I have had financial advisers do similar where they totally discounted my views, my requirements etc for pension planning and financial investment. I was at the time earning less than DH but not by much, both qualified accountants. It was blatant sexism, so we never used them again.

YANBU. I'm currently selling the house, which is my name only on the deeds and mortgage but the estate agents will insist on phoning and writing to DH about it rather than me. Petty but annoying!

I had this with life insurance.
I had the policy 8 years. Its my name on the mortgage

Added dp to the life insurance. He automatically became the number one applicant.

I phoned and asked why this was given it was my policy, we aren't married, he isn't a property owner, it comes from my bank account.

Got told "because the male always becomes the first name" I again asked why. " just does"

Wouldn't change it back. If I didn't have such a bloody bother getting life insurance I would have left the policy and gone elsewhere

When we moved house our bank sent my husband a letter offering him x amount in a loan to do some building work etc. I got one offering a loan to buy soft furnishings. Fuming.

Me and DP are not married but absolutely everything in joint names comes with his name first. When we were rearranging our mortgage the advisor would phone and ask to speak to him when we are joint names on the mortgage. Its just your everday sexism that seems to permeate everything in our day to day lives. Yanbu, in your case that is extremely annoying and insulting.

Oh and YANBU.

YANBU. I ended our relationship with accountants because they would only speak to DH on phone. We are joint owners/directors of company. Went in together to discuss business yet they refused to deal with me.

I'm currently selling the house, which is my name only on the deeds and mortgage but the estate agents will insist on phoning and writing to DH about it rather than me. Petty but annoying!

That's not petty, it's fucking outrageous!

They are phoning HIM about the sale of YOUR house, jeepers it's as though we're still in the (fairly recent) era when women weren't allowed to own property.

I phoned and asked why this was given it was my policy, we aren't married, he isn't a property owner, it comes from my bank account.

Got told "because the male always becomes the first name" I again asked why. " just does"

Wouldn't change it back.

Jesus Christ!

That's a payout for gender discrimination just waiting to happen!

Get them to write you an e-mail telling you of this policy.

If they've any sense at all, that'll make them change it.

If not, quids in! :o