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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to stop breastfeeding at 6 months?

107 replies

youaremychocolatecake · 01/03/2014 10:52

My baby is 17wo and EBF, I love breastfeeding, I am very pro breastfeeding, we have an easy feeding relationship, he is a quick efficient feeder, good sleeper, no issues at all.

But I want to stop when he is 6 months. Don't judge me but I've never really fancied feeding an older baby for some reason and the thought of BF into toddlerhood just weirds me out. I don't have a problem with anyone else doing it but it's not for me.

However, as the 6 month mark rapidly approaches I'm feeling really guilty because he loves breastfeeding. My first baby was mix fed but he wasn't in love with the booby like this one is. It was a means to and end for him and he self weaned at around 6 months. This boob monster however loves laying with it in his mouth, stroking it, pinching it (ouch) it's his comfort so I feel really bad about taking it away. Also he really hates a bottle (of EBM) so I don't even know how to go about weaning him!

I'm a member of all these pro breastfeeding groups on Facebook and they're all there feeding babies until they self wean and I just feel really guilty wanting to stop? But after 40 weeks of pregnancy, 6 months BF feels enough for me. I want to wear a normal bra or be able to go out for an evening. Am I being really really mean?

OP posts:
Original poster
youaremychocolatecake · 01/03/2014 14:26

Just reading backwards to see which parts of my language sound childish and offensive. Confused Confused Not that I need to justify myself, but I'm 31 with 2 happy healthy children, I have a good job and consider myself to be of average intelligence and an ok parent (well I try Wink). But, thanks feminine for putting me straight on the matter. Will try to be more mature in future Smile

OP posts:
Estrellita · 01/03/2014 14:28

I'm still bf my 23 month old, maybe 2-3 short feeds per day. She is allergic to milk and soy. The hypoallergenic formula that we have to use for mix feeding is really expensive. Just 2 cups a day runs us $300 per month! Used to get it for free on prescription in the UK. Sadly, no more! The early morning feed at 5-6 am gets me an extra hour or two of sleep. She likes to feed a little before bedtime if I'm around,
But will go to sleep without fuss got DH or babysitter if not. I wear normal bras. Personally I don't feel that there is anything weird about nursing a toddler, though I no longer feed in public. Dd doesn't ask, so I don't need to. But if you want to stop, then stop. You've done great feeding for 6 months!

Feminine · 01/03/2014 14:28

Actually I do understand where you are coming from.

I apologize for my previous harsh response.

I don't think you needed to list the reasons why you didn't want to want to continue-by listing 'weird' facts about 'extended' B/feeding.

Anyway, hope it works out. :)

K8Middleton · 01/03/2014 14:28

Do what you like.

I may post this on every feeding thread....

Feminine · 01/03/2014 14:30

In trying to explain why you didn't want to, you were (in your language)

Offensive to those who B/ fed longer.

I'm writing this again as we X -posted. :)

Original poster
youaremychocolatecake · 01/03/2014 14:30

I am relevantly new to mumsnet (posting at least) had no idea it was such a controversial subject :/ learning, slowly....

OP posts:
Whathaveiforgottentoday · 01/03/2014 14:42

Your choice completely.

Also, I saw nothing wrong with your post either - wasn't immature and not your fault you haven't been studying mumsnet posts to know it was a controversial subject.
To those who are offended - get real. I breast fed well into 2nd year and didn't read anything offensive in the OP. Some people can find offence in almost anything if they try hard enough.

slightlyglitterstained · 01/03/2014 14:45

I think you were pretty clear in your OP and subsequent responses that your feelings about extended bfing were purely personal, not a judgment on anyone else.

Agreed with the suggestion that if you find you need more advice when the time comes that you feel like weaning, go for the bottle/bfing topic on here - lot more supportive than AIBU which tends to be argumentative.

FWIW I found I really didn't need to provide expressed milk for nursery way before 1 year. He started nursery at 9 months and drank a bit then (not much) but after a while just waited till he got home for a big feed. Was glad as even though I never bothered trying to pump at work, I did find it a faff.

pointythings · 01/03/2014 14:55

I think it's up to you, but be prepared to have problems - not only do many BF babies not like bottles, they often also really don't like formula as it tastes completely different. A friend of mine ended up giving cow's milk in a cup as it was the only thing her 8mo DD did not refuse, although that was against medical wisdom.

It does get much easier once they are on solid food, btw, and they bf much less often. The first 6 months are the tough bit.

Feminine · 01/03/2014 14:55

slightly yes, youare did say it was a personal choice.

However if you can be bothered to read back, you will read some examples of why she didn't want to continue. Child wanting milk at school gates etc...

I haven't heard anyone (Over the age of 15) using the word "weird' to describe someone else's choice.

I have 3 children and done things differently each time.

Feminine · 01/03/2014 14:57

loving booby
and boob monster are also childish language. IMO.

lanbro · 01/03/2014 14:57

My 5 mo is ebf and won't take a bottle so I'm trying to train her with a straw cup instead. She is getting some up after a couple of tries so am hopeful. I bf my first for a year, and probably will carry on with this one for a while yet but it is so tying being the only one who can feed her!

Minifingers · 01/03/2014 14:59

Your choice, and if your baby is very unsettled and unhappy for a while when you wean - well, that's something you can probably live with if your feelings of not wanting to breastfeed are strong enough.

perfectstorm · 01/03/2014 15:10

Feminine, are you always this judgemental and aggressive to other women, or is it reserved for posting on Mumsnet? Confused

OP I think you might find your child's feeding patterns change as solids are introduced, and at that point he will probably accept formula. I had to express exclusively for DS as he had a lot of problems, and that was the stage at which he'd accept mixed feeding. But as has been said, it might be worth just seeing how you go, and stopping when it feels right.

And your feelings, like your boobs, are your own. Nobody has the right to attack you over them.

scottishmummy · 01/03/2014 15:15

Op,you don't owe feminine an apology or explanation. Don't make it a mn habit
we all post,and anticipate disagreement arise without need to apologise for own pov
And feminine may not care for your posts,but well tough titty

Original poster
youaremychocolatecake · 01/03/2014 15:22

The school gates thing was tongue in cheek. I have a sense of humour, so shoot me Confused and I didn't use the word weird to describe another persons choice. I said it would weird ME out. I have said several times upthread that I respect others who choose to do extended BFing but it isn't for me. It would make ME feel weird. I think that's a fair statement? Some people feel weird about BFing full stop and I respect them too. I don't agree with the bullying BF culture we have to deal with as new parents. Also, thanks for the advice of different boards etc. I didn't realise there were different groups of people on each topic. This is all a bit of a minefield isn't it Smile and if I was 15 and asking for advice on BFing. If have probably ran off crying into my 1 direction pillow by now!

OP posts:
Original poster
youaremychocolatecake · 01/03/2014 15:23

On that note. I'm off to feed my boob monster Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
youaremychocolatecake · 01/03/2014 15:25

Then I might plonk him in front of the tv and go and have a fag... Wink Thanks again everyone. Been very helpful x

OP posts:
pointythings · 01/03/2014 16:32

Noooo! If you want to be properly judged you need to give him Fruit Shoots and Greggs Sausage Rolls.

FFS, feminine, aggressive much?

Best of luck whatever you decide, OP. Smile

perfectstorm · 01/03/2014 16:40

It's you having the fag instead of him that worries me, tbh. Real parenting fail, right there.

And as for Scottishmummy referencing tough titties... that's just childish, offensive and insensitive.

scottishmummy · 01/03/2014 16:50

Not at all.youre not a moderator to tell op how to post or quiz her longevity
And if you were in a way a seasoned mn you'd know its bumptious to tell people how to post

Melonbreath · 01/03/2014 17:08

I started to reduce breastfeeds at around 6 months. Dd wouldn't take a bottle but would lap a doidy cup during the day. I dropped one feed at a time and never set myself a cut off date or pressured dd or i.
By 9 months there were no feeds during the day only at bedtime and nighttime unless she was poorly and now at 15 months i have been completely finished for a week now.
Dd did need persuading but she just needed to learn she didn't really want it anymore, it was habit.

fromparistoberlin · 01/03/2014 17:11

no! stop, 6 months is very good innings

but not sure if MN is the best place to ask Wink

MyDarlingClementine · 01/03/2014 17:11

I think anyone who can do it for any amount of time has done well! First time round I could not get my head round it at all.

I wouldn't feel guilty at all. Smile

fromparistoberlin · 01/03/2014 17:14

but well tough titty

snurk!!!!!!!! very insensitive to those with mastitis you biatch !!!!!!

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