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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a note on the door of my student flat asking my flatmates to keep their voices down when they come in

54 replies

unhappystudent · 28/02/2014 23:25

...because it will be after 3am when they do and I'm sick of being kept awake all night because I refuse to conform to clubbing and drinking just because 'that's what students do'? It would be polite.

Sorry for using this website, my mum isn't around to phone tonight and I wanted some advice.

OP posts:
LyndaCartersBigPants · 28/02/2014 23:26

If you do, keep it light hearted and friendly so you don't anger them into making even more noise!

CoffeeTea103 · 28/02/2014 23:27

I think don't leave a note as this might cause a very hostile environment for you. Why don't you speak to them in the morning, these things may be dealt better face to face. They might not even read the note.

Original poster
unhappystudent · 28/02/2014 23:28

We've tried speaking. We've also tried mediation. They seem to think as long as they warn me they're going to keep me up all night via note or text they can make as much noise as they like.

OP posts:
Adeleh · 28/02/2014 23:28

YANBU at all, and you have my sympathy. I was like you when I was a student. I hope it works and you get some sleep.

ilikebaking · 28/02/2014 23:28

Dont. Students love passive aggressive notes. They find them funny, boring and make it worse.
Just ignore it, and get up in the AM and make a shit load of noise.
Get earplugs, or listen to an audio book or something.
These are only my experiences.

Purpleknickers · 28/02/2014 23:30

Earplugs are your answer, even if it's scrunched up loo roll tonight as a last resort, a note on your door will just bring either loud merriment that you actually want to sleep, or exaggerated schussing so loud that it wakes you anyway. Good luck, as a person that needs at least 8 hours sleep myself I feel your pain

AgentZigzag · 28/02/2014 23:31

Ach, that's shit isn't it?

But I'm thinking of whether I'd take any notice of a note when I was a bladdered youngster - probably not (although I would have had a go fwiw Grin), but it'd probably spur others I was with into finding making more noise hilarious.

What is it that's making you 'refuse' to 'conform'? Do they put pressure on you to go out with them? What is it that stops you?

KoalaFace · 28/02/2014 23:31

They'll probably be wellied so keep it light and short.

"Hope you've had a good night! I'm shattered so will reward you all with cuppas tomorrow if you keep it down and don't wake me up! Xxx"

Something like that...

Hope you manage to get some sleep!

jonicomelately · 28/02/2014 23:32

Are you in halls or a private house? Maybe you need to move in with a group of more like minded people?

Whatdoiknowanyway · 28/02/2014 23:33

Are you my daughter? Actually I know you're not as I've just been speaking to her but you're not alone in having shitty housemates.
Who brings these people up to be so dismissive of other people's needs?

ShiftyFades · 28/02/2014 23:34

I don't think you should, I know how much you want to though Sad
I echo the "make noise in the morning". Don't get up extra early, not before 9, don't be extra noisy as you'll be seem as inflammatory.
Just be a little louder than normal.
Ear plugs / headphones and chill out music.
Good luck

jonicomelately · 28/02/2014 23:35

Sorry. Didn't read the OP properly. You're in a flat.

BackforGood · 28/02/2014 23:37

Agree with everyone else - it's not the best way to tackle it. If it's a crowd who've been out for a drink, they'll undoubtably find it hilarious.
If talking to them in the day doesn't work, then go to the accommodation officer and see what can be done about getting you moved to somewhere you will be happier. Most universities have quieter zones.

VeggySausage · 28/02/2014 23:38

They are adults they shouldn't have to be told to keep it down, but the truth is decent considerate people would not need a note..and if they find a note being that they are not decent considerate people they will just take the piss.

Original poster
unhappystudent · 28/02/2014 23:39

We passed polite conversation when they emptied my kitchen stuff out the window for the hell of it, I haven't actually seen any of them in 3 days. The trouble with earplugs is I have to be up at 7 tomorrow morning and I'm worried I'd sleep through my alarm. I've never been interested in student nightlife, I have acute hearing and can't stand loud noises, drunk screaming and loud music freaks me out. I'm in halls but moving out next year and in with a friend who's the same as me about this, but still have to get through this year unfortunately.

Whatdoiknowanyway based on that last sentence you could be my mum, but my mum thinks 'damn' is a swear word :P

OP posts:
jonicomelately · 28/02/2014 23:41

I have been a student and I've lived in the middle of a student town with a newborn. A lot of students don't care who they disturb and my concern would be that you'd always be fighting a losing battle, no matter how reasonable you try to be, hence my suggestion of finding different housemates.

Finola1step · 28/02/2014 23:42

Student. I sympathise with you. What do you mean they tipped your kitchen stuff out of the window?

Adeleh · 28/02/2014 23:44

They threw your stuff out the window?? That's terrible. You poor thing. They sound horrible to live with. Are you tempted to make a LOT of noise tomorrow at 7? If they're the sort to throw your stuff out the window, don't leave a note. It will just goad them. They could be reported to the hall warden though.

AgentZigzag · 28/02/2014 23:45

I'm sure they'd sell these on Amazon Grin

Original poster
unhappystudent · 28/02/2014 23:46

They emptied my kitchen cupboard out of the window (but had the sense to separate the china and leave that in the cupboard) while drunk and left messages on my door telling me to 'fuck off out of our kitchen or your stuff goes out the window bitch'. They did apologise but not until confronted by the residences support team. Radio 4 always goes on first thing in the morning on full volume :D

OP posts:
TheZeeTeam · 28/02/2014 23:49

I hate to tell you this, but that is normal stupid, crappy student stuff. I remember (with a little horror) when one of our flatmates asked us to be quiet and we rearranged her entire bedroom while she was out. At the time, it was literally the funniest thing ever. A year later?! Cringeworthy!!

I would go for the headphones and music/story option. And don't live with them next year.

Student life can be a little lord of the flies sometimes.

LoopyDoopyDoo · 28/02/2014 23:50

Oh no, that's horrible :(

cafecito · 28/02/2014 23:51

sympathies.

don't leave a note, they will drunken and immaturely get worse to antagonise you for comedy fodder, if they really are that awful

are any rooms free in halls? does your uni have postgrads that have halls too, you may be able to move there?

otherwise - avoid them, sleep and wash etc there, don't feel obligated to go out etc, but do your best to keep your life easy and therefore I would advise no note, just try and sleep through it and make mental note to never live in halls or in a party house again, as flat sharing can be just as if not more antagonising

Finola1step · 28/02/2014 23:52

Well you've got yourself a full on clash. It won't be resolved. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just take it each day as it comes and spend as little time around them as possible.

AgentZigzag · 28/02/2014 23:52

That sounds more than your housemates being a bit irritating, do the support team know how badly they treat you?

I wouldn't be happy with my DD stopping in a place where someone said that to her (although she's only 13 so it's theoretical).