Stepmother Rage

[Tulip26]

Oh, I'm angry. Bloody Stepmother at it again, slagging off my dog as he's quite big and looks a bit tough. Apparently he's going to kill their puppy so she doesn't want them to play together.

She's never been on a walk with the dogs (my Dad and I go about twice a week, both dogs get on lovely) or even seen my dog for more than five minutes, when she barged into my house and my dog (quite rightly) barked at her.

She is a money grabbing cow who is trying to get her hands on every penny my Dad has. They have four foreign holidays a year.

She likes to make up gossip about me and spread it among family and friends. I think at the minute her problem is my Dad is fed up and doesn't take his phone out when we go for walks, so obviously I'm getting his attention and she has a problem with this. What do I do? They only live five minutes away but I am trying to move, it's so difficult trying to rent with pets though.

Is your Dad happy? Foreign holidays aren't really your business, are they?

Sounds tough for you though - any hope of reaching some middle ground?

No, I don't th

Will it change when the puppy gets a bit bigger?

Although you sound as though you're thinking maybe she's just using the puppy situation to have a another dig at you?

If she's gossiping about you to friends/family, they'll know what she's like and give it the credit it deserves.

It doesn't sound right that she's barging into your house uninvited because you don't seem to have the kind of relationship that has an open door policy. Was that a one off?

Hit send too soon. No, he's not happy. He keeps dragging me out for walks and leaving his phone so she can't get in touch. The foreign holidays are my business considering my Dad is ill, trying to retire, get his finances in order, etc and she is wanting to spend every penny. Their most recent holiday was nearly 4k.

Their puppy is nine months old. Sorry to drip-feed but I'm just so mad. She did barge in unannounced the once, I think my dog has scared her into not coming back. She likes small, fluffy little dogs and I have a 'proper' dog.

Your dad has a choice. No one forces him to go on holiday therefore I assume he is enjoying himself.
Your step mum is scared for her dog. She hasn't seen them on a walk together so she doesn't know she is making assumptions just like you are doing about the holidays

He probably doesn't answer his phone when he is with you because he knows you would be all judgey and it's not worth the hassle. It's hard work keeping two women that he loves happy!

Say nothing. This is between your dad and his wife

Do you think she is taking lots of holidays because your dad is ill and it's good for him?

When you say that shes spending your dads money that reads to me....

Shes spending my inheritance, and im resentful thats hes re married because that means she will get everything and i will get nothing

Look, the dog thing is nonsense. I don't like any dog, big or small. This shouldn't be what family relationships hinge on.

Her thoughts about your dog are possibly annoying but not worth getting in a rage over. I think it's up to your dad how he spends his money, unless there is more to this and you feel he's being coerced. What does he say?

I'm not getting an inheritance, I've already had it.

I don't say things to his face as I don't want to stir up trouble. He's an adult, he can spend his money how he likes, however he has mental health problems (see my post from a few weeks ago) and I very much think he's being coerced. I mention the dog thing as it since he's got the dog, I've seen more of him than I have in years. It's gone from every few months to him turning up on my doorstep twice a week and she's clearly trying to put a stop to it.

Not seeing the problem with the dog or the foreign holidays unless she's robbing your Dad and booking them behind his back.

The gossip thing's not so good though obviously.

What has she been saying?

I also worry how he's going to pay for care after holidays, designer dogs and various other things. She tried telling family and friends that I promised to buy their second home from them then pulled out. I was never going to buy it, I was asked, thought about it and said no.

Your arguments seem built on sand really. Do you just dislike her personally?

I've tried really hard to include her in family events. I make a lot of effort for Christmas and birthdays. I used to like her, until I was told about some of the things she's said.

I get where you're coming from.

If your dad has carefully saved all his life and his new wife comes in with a worry about it tomorrow attitude, you are going to be concerned that his pension is being frittered away. How will they manage once this has gone? What if he needs to go into a care home and the house is mortgaged to the hilt etc. You say you have nothing financially to gain but you do potentially have debts to inherit.

While I don't necessarily think children should expect an inheritance from their parents I do believe they have a right not to inherit their parents debts either unless they really couldn't manage.

Do you think she is expecting your family to keep her in the manor to which she has become accustomed once the money from your father has run out?