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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to bath my children this infrequently?

134 replies

terrificallytremendous · 28/02/2014 14:06

Dp has two children who are aged 6 and 7. Their mum has said we cannot have them in school holidays because when we have them (for one night at a time at present) we don't bath them. She says dsd is at a 'tender age' and at home her 4 children have baths separately every single morning.

My children are 6 years and 20 months and they share a bath three times per week in winter, more in summer. Apart from the expense of water, I think every day is excessive as they just don't get that dirty in winter and see it as a waste of time to get up early to bath everyday. Aibu?

OP posts:
sleepylittlebunnies · 01/03/2014 15:35

DD1 age 4 has severe eczema and the dermatologist advised daily baths of 10-20 minutes with her emulsifers, it is all written in her eczema plan. Her hair needs washing daily also due to ointment getting into it and making it greasy. We bath her in the evening as mornings are too busy. DD2 age almost 2 gets in with her most nights and DS age 6 likes to bath on his own afterwards but not every night. On the odd night we miss DD1's bath her eczema does flare up.

Before getting eczema age 2 we did baths 2-3 times a week. When I was growing up most of my friends had a bath on a sunday and a strip wash other days. EXW may be controlling but I would have to insist that my DD1 have a bath daily if she was staying elsewhere.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 01/03/2014 15:55

DS's dermatologist also said to bath him daily when he was first diagnosed. We tend to do every other day now.

LimitedEditionLady · 01/03/2014 17:25

Tbh his ex is really clutching at straws.Id just do it though to keep the peace.Just nod and smile Grin

jellybeans · 01/03/2014 18:12

YANBU I must be a skank too as only ever bathed mine twice a week (shower in between at swimming). Two have eczema so didn't want to dry them out. No need for daily you can just have a wash. How would they survive camping or on school or cub trips? Or if there was a water shortage or no electric and gas?

Jackthebodiless · 01/03/2014 19:04

Bath every other night here, till around puberty, then shower every day.

TattyDevine · 01/03/2014 19:30

We bath every 2nd night, unless "dirty". There are certain times of year it is necessary (sunscreen/dirt from playing etc) and there are certain ages (babies with reflux and cheesy neck/early weaning if they squash bananas into their hair etc) but other that that I have not found it necessary, even as part of a "wind down routine" though I can see why some find this useful.

Until they are sweating/secreting hormones/burning off alcoholic binges etc and other things grown ups do, they are unlikely to smell if they have good bum hygiene and wash their hands regularly, have a face wipe and teeth before bed, etc etc. There would be exceptions, but that's the way I see it.

JulietBravoJuliet · 01/03/2014 19:38

Ds is nearly 8 and gets bathed when he needs it. He won't shower; screams blue murder, so it's always a flippin' bath! He still wets the bed a lot, so tends to have a bath in a morning when he's woken up wet. In the summer, it's most days as he's of the sweaty variety. I don't wash his hair every time though; that's done a couple of times a week, or when a spritz with a water spray and a comb doesn't make it look tidy! He knows I shower every day though, and is aware as he gets older, he'll get stinkier and will need to shower or bath every day.

nouvellevag · 01/03/2014 19:39

Gosh - I'm fairly sure my mum used to bathe us once a week when we were small. DD goes in the bath twice a week with a shower in between at swimming and face washed every morning. When bath day comes around her head has stopped smelling of shampoo and started smelling of hair, but it's not a rank, dirty smell, just human. Pre-pubescent kids just don't get that whiffy. And bloody hell, I only shower my own smelly adult self every other day, with a flannel wash in between.

Waltonswatcher1 · 01/03/2014 23:25

We had no hot water available in my childhood home , we used to wash every morning in the water from our previous nights hotties - the hotties were the stone ones usually . My mum was a bit of a hippy . I am only 40 so not that long ago . I bet we stank.

wineforthelady · 01/03/2014 23:32

We do ours 2-3 times a week, DD8 showers and younger two bath.

ouryve · 01/03/2014 23:41

Mine bathe most days, but we're quite happy to miss days if they're not filthy. They've finally reached a point when I don't need to wash their dinner out of their hair every day. Most days, their baths are just a sit in some warm water with shower gel on the smelly bits only.

ouryve · 01/03/2014 23:42

And they bathe separately, or else they fight, but in the same water. If it hasn't turned into soup, DH tops it up, to freshen himself up, then rinses off with the shower hose.

splasheeny · 02/03/2014 01:23

Daily baths are best for eczema, there is evidence to support this.

I remember a weekly wash growing up, I guess that makes my parents pretty skanky!

katese11 · 02/03/2014 07:34

I bath mine every day (1.5 and 4.5) but only because it uses up half an hour or so between dinner and bed! There's no way I'd try and do it in the morning Shock

Babieseverywhere · 02/03/2014 07:52

I wonder if your DH agreed to the baths and asked ex wife to email her guidelines on any other issues, so he is clear on things. It might focus her mind on what she really needs to control and things she can let drop.

If course if she writes four pages of ranty rules, that is something to address with the court and maybe repost on here, lol.

saintlyjimjams · 02/03/2014 08:04

Daily baths with emollient are usually recommended by dermatologists for severe eczema because it reduces the risk of infection. Ds1 has always had a daily bath (first for severe eczema & wet wrapping - now for routine). The younger 2 used to have daily baths as part of bedtime rout

saintlyjimjams · 02/03/2014 08:05

Routine - now they have one about 3 times a week, although I think ds2 needs to up his a bit soon.

They shared a bath until ds2 was about age 11

All 3 used to go in together until it got a bit cramped

wingsandstrings · 03/03/2014 14:04

My DS (age 6) has a bath every other day - it used to be every 3 days but I notice he is more whiffy than he used to be! My DD (age 3) also has a bath every other day, only because she has very curly hair which can only be brushed when wet and if it's left more than 48 hrs without being brushed it gets horribly tangly. It's bad for skin to be over-washed.

Davsmum · 03/03/2014 14:07

We had a bath once a week when we were little, unless we had got really grubby playing out. It was just a face and hands wash every morning and evening.
Mind you - a daily bath routine is good for winding down and getting ready for bed.

SecretWitch · 03/03/2014 14:15

My six year old has a bath every other day in the winter and sometimes daily in the summer. She gets wiped down with warm flannel before bed on non bath days. As long as clothes are fresh and body reasonably clean, I have no problem with bathing children 2 to 3x weekly.

justanuthermanicmumsday · 03/03/2014 14:21

I get my kids up at 6am they have lessons in the morning for 1.5hours then get ready & breakfast.

I'd have to get up at 4.30am to have 2 of them ready for 6am lesson, then pop the other two in, get breakfast for all by 7.30. it's too much.

I have four kids too 7,6,3, and 22 months I find it difficult to believe she bathes them in the morning everyday. Had she said evening I'm sure she could. My kids get bathed every other day.

When they were wee babies I'd bathe them everyday ,i found it helped with sleeping, and eczema since emollients absorbed more easily when skin was damp.but it was in out didn't take long.

Now if each kid get 20 mins each for a wash, moisturising, &dressing that's almost 2 hours for quick bath. If they want to play a bit even longer.if this woman is bathing them in the morning she's superwoman, and I thought I was superwoman already.

saintlyjimjams · 03/03/2014 14:27

What lessons do they have at 6am??

NeedsAsockamnesty · 03/03/2014 14:52

One of my kids has horse riding lessons at 6:15am

NigellasDealer · 03/03/2014 15:00

at 6.15??
blimey that is dedication!
will we be seeing him/her at Badminton in a few years?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 03/03/2014 15:02

Dc likes to think so,I don't get it myself I'm petrified of the creatures. Thank Christ I don't have to ferry them about now.