to bath my children this infrequently?

[terrificallytremendous]

Dp has two children who are aged 6 and 7. Their mum has said we cannot have them in school holidays because when we have them (for one night at a time at present) we don't bath them. She says dsd is at a 'tender age' and at home her 4 children have baths separately every single morning.

My children are 6 years and 20 months and they share a bath three times per week in winter, more in summer. Apart from the expense of water, I think every day is excessive as they just don't get that dirty in winter and see it as a waste of time to get up early to bath everyday. Aibu?

[IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM]

The problem with giving in to unreasonable demands, is that you encourage further and even more unreasonable demands

not only is it un reasonable demands its also verging on OCD behaviour, meaning even more important he stands firm.

[lynniep]

I agree with others OP. Thats an unreasonable request from their mum. Theres nothing wrong with what she does (apart from wasting an awful lot of water) but theres nothing wrong with what you do either.

My DS2 (4) has a bath every night, because he loves it, not because he needs it. If I offer just a wash, all hell breaks loose.
DS1 (6) is less keen and tends to have a quick shower instead. I'd let him go with just a wash every other day TBH , but DH is a clean freak so prefers him to shower.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

As long as you have a good wash every day then a bath is never actually essential yes they are nice and all that but a good wash is perfectly adequate.

I know a family who don't have a bath or shower in their house and haven't for about 8 months (building works) they have a wash twice a day and they are perfectly hygienic.

Either way, he has just as much right as her to decide how many baths they have and more rights to decide when they are in his care.

[Tailtwister]

We bath our two each evening (together) and they are 6 and 3. They probably don't need it, but its part of their routine and they enjoy it. I don't see any particular need for young children to bath daily though. Back in my day once a week wasn't unusual!

[Koothrapanties]

I bath baby dd every day because she has masses of hair that gets greasy really quickly. Within 24 hrs she looks like a neglected filthy child if not. If that wasn't the case I would probably bath her every other day.

[morethanpotatoprints]

I agree, this is about control.
Tell her you'll bath every morning, get whatever they need etc.
If she does stall, make other excuses, tell her you'll see her in court.
They'll be such a reverse

[propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS]

Yanbu. Once or twice a week in winter is fine, imo unless they are covered in mess, mud, food, vomit or whatever else. You should wash sun cream off before bed each time you use it though so should bath accordingly in summer.

[RiverTam]

to be honest, it sounds like she has real issues with regards to bodies - insisting that two 6-year-old girls can't share a changing room?

DD has a bath every evening and in fact I think she shouldn't but it's part of her bedtime routine and she (and DH) like it, they have a lot of fun at bathtime (I find it a drag after a long day!), but she certainly doesn't need it.

[IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM]

I thought hair grease comes from hormones?

[AnnabelleLee]

you need court ordered contact,shes a control freak. Get him to sort it out properly.

[VeryStressedMum]

She doesn't bath all 4 children separately every morning and blow dry hair, does she get up at 5am to do this...
My dds are teenagers now and shower very often because otherwise their hair gets very greasy and they will smell. But before they reached a certain age they didn't get bathed every day.
Ds is nearly 7 and he gets a bath/shower 2-3 times a week he has eczema and too much bathing makes his skin bad.
In fact he hardly ever even got his hair washed with shampoo because even in the shower it would react badly with his skin. He doesn't smell.

[DescribeTheRuckus]

Another non bather here...mine are also 6 and 7, and they shower separately on Sundays and Wednesdays. Very occassionally more often...DS (7) is an early riser, so he will get up and hop in the shower on his own every now and then.

And the tender age thing made me chuckle...ours shower separately, but neither of them seems to believe in privacy!

[neepsandtatties]

I've seen some people on this thread say 'of course you don't need to bath more than three times a week as a good flannel wash at the sink every day is adequate' and then other people saying 'mine are only bathed two or three times a week'. For the ones who only bath two or three times a week, are you doing the standing up flannel wash every day as well, or do you mean that between baths, your children's bodies aren't washed (other than faces wiped if food caked on etc)?

[VeryStressedMum]

I wash bums in between baths. Not whole bodies, if they needed bodies washed they'd go into the bath/shower. If ds got mud on kegs from playing he'd have a bath I wouldn't just wash his legs.

[TheScience]

Flannel on face x2 a day, hands washed several times, bottom wet wiped at least once.

[lljkk]

I have no idea & I don't care.

[RedFocus]

My kids have a bath on Sundays and after swimming and/or PE. So probably 2 to 3 baths a week each and they think that is far too much.

[Waltonswatcher1]

A friend baths her daily, they suffer with eczema but she refuses to alter the 'routine'.
My toddler has a bath every 5 days usually . The teenagers bath according to need .I won't allow daily just for the hell of it .
Bathing and using towels daily uses far to much energy and water, it becomes a habit .
I however do shower daily-but unlike my teenagers I leap in and out quickly . I wash my hair every other .
I am flipping shocked though at the cheek of some separated parents, dictating what the kids do during visits . That's nice for the children isn't it ...

[JupiterGentlefly]

Off to suggest my two jump in the shower

[CromeYellow]

There's no way I would have shared a bath at seven and remember my niece becoming self concious and wanting privacy at that age. She is absolutely right to insist on her daughters right to bodily privacy. Sharing bathwater with other peoples dirt in it is disgusting too.

What's wrong with a quick bath in the morning? Fill it an inch if you don't want to waste water or let her have a shower.

[SpagBolgs]

She right, that is disgusting, DTD bathe the least in our house and they bath every other day my other DC,DP and I shower everyday. This is making my skin feel itchy!

[Waltonswatcher1]

What!
My 11year old lives bathing with my 2year old.
Cromeyellow not everyone can afford the hot water on that much .

[NigellasDealer]

sounds fine to me, she is using it an excuse.

[Edenviolet]

Dd1 has a bath every day, ds1 hates baths and has one every other day. Dd2 (4) has to have one every day as she absolutely stinks and gets sore if she doesn't have a bath and ds2 has a bath most nights as he manages to get dirty from just eating dinner!

[LimitedEditionLady]

We bath ds whos three every other night.I dont know if that is excessive but he likes playing in the bath with water toys so really likes bath time.I think yanbu to be annoyed though if you have the child for one night and dont bath her its not horrendous.Surely she has a wash so whats the problem?