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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think that if I choose not to donate to a cold caller they shouldn't ask why not?

43 replies

PseudoBadger · 28/02/2014 09:38

Cold caller yesterday from a charity. Baby dd was crying on her play mat, he launched straight into a pitch about the charity's work. I waited for a minute to see if he would stop when it was clear that I had to see to dd (she was loud enough for him to hear).
He didn't so I said, "I'm just going to stop you. I need to go but I will look on your website". He said, "do you mind if I ask why you're not donating right now?" Shock
I told him that my baby needed feeding and I don't like signing up for things at the door. Is this a question that they have to ask (for stats or something) or is it a tactic to test if you're lying?

OP posts:
chandlerbing · 28/02/2014 09:42

When I worked in sales we were told to question why people said 'no'. Its so that you can overcome their objections and get them to buy whatever you're selling.

hoobypickypicky · 28/02/2014 09:45

YANBU. I never donate via cold callers, they annoy the hell out of me. I asked why I won't donate I tell them it's because I resent being disturbed at home.

Original poster
PseudoBadger · 28/02/2014 09:46

Next time I'll say "No is a complete sentence" :o

OP posts:
lazyhound444 · 28/02/2014 09:49

I hate cold callers of any description. And it's nothing to do with not giving to charity. I give a decent amount via direct debit. I actually have one of those old fashioned "No hawkers or solicitors" signs up on my door. The rare fool who chooses to ignore it gets a hard stare and a pointy finger at the sign.

HadABadDay2014 · 28/02/2014 09:50

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B0033GKQ7U/ref=mp_s_a_1_10?qid=1393580963&sr=8-10&pi=AC_SX110_SY165

Get a sign for your door, I got one a year ago not had a knock on the door since.

WooWooOwl · 28/02/2014 10:05

They ask because they are determined to do anything they can to sign you up, and they have more chance of doing that the longer they keep you talking, and they can sometimes change people's minds.

Everything about this method of collecting charity donations is wrong.

gertiegusset · 28/02/2014 10:07

I don't even listen to their spiel, just say no thankyou and close the door.

PrincessOfChina · 28/02/2014 10:08

One tried to graphically discuss child abuse in front of my 3 year old DD the other week. She was sent on her way and reported.

Stinklebell · 28/02/2014 10:09

If asked why I won't donate I tell them it's because I resent being disturbed at home.

Yes, same here.

I also cancel direct debits for charities if they keep calling me to ask me to up it and tell them why

I donate to the charities I want, at an amount I can afford, in a manner that's convenient for me. Anyone who knocks at my door/phones me up won't gets donation from me

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 28/02/2014 10:11

I say that I do not give out my personal details in such a reckless and irresponsible fashion.

In a really snotty voice. Grin

HighwayRat · 28/02/2014 10:15

Dp says 'because I dont care about children/animals/caner' its embarrassing.

shakinstevenslovechild · 28/02/2014 10:17

I tell them it's because of their attitude and I would like their full name so I can make a complaint. They usually hang up on me Grin

justmatureenough2bdad · 28/02/2014 10:17

if asked that question, i have often replied; "of course I don't mind you asking why not. However, I hope you don't mind not getting an answer"

CeliaLytton · 28/02/2014 10:22

I try really hard not to mind cold calls from charities. After all, most of them are for excellent causes and research has taught them that cold calling is a way to make decent money. But I do expect that when I say 'no' that will be respected. Though I do often say 'no, but thanks for your call' and then hang up immediately.

It's like when I get the charity envelopes with a free pen or whatever, it makes me sad that they have spent that money and I will never give to the charity, but market research come whee has shown them that it makes financial sense to send pens/customised items so I see why they do it.

I do find it hard to be asked to up my donations as I give what I can, but again understand why they do it. I would never stop donating to a cause close to my heart because they didn't conduct their fundraising in a way I like.

So in a really long winded way Grin YANBU to want to be able to say no and hang up, but that is exactly what you can do. They ANBU to ask why you are choosing not to donate if it might help them get more donations in the future.

Marylou62 · 28/02/2014 10:26

As someone who used to have a problem and was embarrassed to say no thankyou, I soon learnt! I have standing orders for 3 charities after asking a friend who is an economist in 3rd world countries, which one was the best. ie most of the money going where it is needed. I donate to Water Aid as I often run the tap to get it cold enough whilst thinking of those children drinking parasitic ditch water. RNLI as we live near beach and Life guards are brilliant and I have watched numerous genuine rescues, and Save the Children as they work with Children here as well as 3rd world. I then say a very polite NO THANKYOU without feeling (too much) guilt. I just put the phone down.

gamerchick · 28/02/2014 10:36

I hate the cold callers.. I'm hard as nails and chase them but my lovely sweet husband falls for it every time.

The last one was the RSPCA while I was at work.. I'd already ignored the door to them earlier on. They do the whole 'do you have any pets' and then 'aw can we have a look' just to get into the house. my husband who is very proud of his snake let the fuckers in.. who then stayed for an hour and signed him up to a tenner a month.

I was beyond spitting when he told me Angry

he's cancelled the direct debit now and we've had the conversation on how we deal with cold callers and that if he really wants to donate a tenner a month to charity we'll do some research and choose one that appeals to him.

Phew.. I think i'm still annoyed about that .. he's under no illusion of how I feel about the RSPCA I don't think. Grin

littledrummergirl · 28/02/2014 10:36

M dm goes into a rant about why they shouldnt even be asking her: how much do they give, why they think she should and then picks holes in the poor persons argument.
I have known her follow them back up the path lecturing and questioning them as they leave.
As it tends to be the same people collecting for different charities they have soon learnt where the nutter dm lives and only knock once every few years.
I have a big barky dog who I take to the door with me holding tight to his collar as though he is trying to get out.
They dont stay long Grin

Sovaysovay · 28/02/2014 13:22

Talking to them? I shake my head through the window! Not even going to let them start.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 28/02/2014 14:08

Don't answer the door to anyone you don't know. I guarantee you they want your money.

TalkinPeace · 28/02/2014 14:12

"I am registered with the telephone preference service"

"I have a policy of never giving to organisations who knock on my door so you have just lost all hope of future donations"

"If what you were offering was worth having, I'd be knocking on your door"

covers most variants

Original poster
PseudoBadger · 28/02/2014 14:24

Thanks, I do normally just open the door and say no thank you and shut it firmly. I take one of the dogs normally too. I'm a bit off the ball since dd arrived... We get a lot of JWs and last time they knocked I told them I'd had a blood transfusion and that I'd happily have another.

OP posts:
MothershipG · 28/02/2014 14:28

I have a no cold callers sign, it doesn't stop all of them but it really helps.

SchrodingersCake · 28/02/2014 14:30

I'd shut the door in his face with a "thank you, I'll consider that but right now my baby needs feeding"

LumpySofa · 28/02/2014 14:31

You say "I don't mind at all. Bye then, must dash!" and close the door.

EmmelineGoulden · 28/02/2014 14:58

I think YmightBabitU. If you are bothered if they asked "do you mind if I ask why you aren't donating" then just say "yes I do mind" or "I don't think it's any of your business". He's asking a question to try and improve what he does. Reply to it in a way that is more likely to push them towards a behaviour you'd like. That's the point of asking for and giving feedback. It's just clear communication. You don't have to make a song and dance about it or read anything into a straight forward question. You also don't have to give him what he wants.

Having said that, if he could hear your child he's a bit of an ass. I am sick of charity cold callers who seem to think I should stay and talk to them or who won't get to the point when I've told them I only have a second and no time for any spiel. I end up closing the door on them and thinking badly of their charity. Had a brilliant guy from Shelter last year though. He was friendly and helpful when I had two 3 year olds break down screaming as I opened the door. Helped calm then down and then left without trying to get through his piece. He came back a week later at a better time of day so I listened and signed up.