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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

IOU

32 replies

ChoccyDigestive82 · 27/02/2014 13:29

Have had 2 days off due to a stomach bug. Before I left work on the Monday I had placed my copper jar on my desk, any spare money goes in, not just coppers. It is a small office and everyone is very close - no trust issues.

I am using this jar to save some cash for my May holiday even if it's just £50.

Today I come in to find a note in my jar saying
"I owe you 70p ,needed it for my bus".

This girl has form for never returniing borrowed items and I'm a bit fed up that she thought she could just help herself to my cash. I know it's only 70p but it's the principal, if I had left my purse would she have gone in there? Of course I've not mentioned anything to her but I feel like Im being unreasonable for being so fucked off!

OP posts:
QueenofallIsee · 27/02/2014 13:33

Cheeky mare! I would be massively unimpressed with that, unless it was a family member

I remember leaving an empty shopping bag under my desk, it was from Prada (treated myself to a new handbag). Came in next day, it had vanished but the receipt and authorization card were inside.
Turned out a woman working 2 desks down had swiped it for her DD and acted like I was mental for asking where it was, refused to return it as her DD was using it for her school PE stuff and was delighted with it!

I seethed for ages.

AlpacaLypse · 27/02/2014 13:35

In your first para you say 'everyone is very close - no trust issues'

But in the fourth you say 'This girl has form for never returning borrowed items' - so you don't trust her!

yanbu to feel fucked off, but I wouldn't have left money out overnight in the first place.

Original poster
ChoccyDigestive82 · 27/02/2014 13:40

Yeah by that I mean she will at least ASK to borrow things (usually). It's a copper jar though, didn't think I'd have to keep it in a safe!

OP posts:
Original poster
ChoccyDigestive82 · 27/02/2014 13:40

Queen did you not get the bag back? Did you report it? That's insane!

OP posts:
QueenofallIsee · 27/02/2014 13:43

Nope, never saw it again! Just to be clear, it was the carrier bag that my new handbag came in, not the bag itself, but it still fucked me right off! Though you should take basic measures to secure things, I don't think its unreasonable to leave things under your desk/on your chair and expect people NOT to decide that they fancy it! Be it 70p, a posh carrier bag or a diet coke !(same woman, diff day)

Original poster
ChoccyDigestive82 · 27/02/2014 13:51

Oh I thought you meant the Prada bag (silly) can you imagine lol

OP posts:
QueenofallIsee · 27/02/2014 13:54

If it had been the handbag itself, I would likely have smacked her!

Its the attitude on people like her and 70p lady that annoy me! Yes its 'only' 70p and you would probably have given it to her had she asked but its YOURS..just like my rather lovely good quality carrier bag that my own DD would have liked was MINE...not theirs to decide that its up for grabs if they fancy it!

LouiseAderyn · 27/02/2014 15:03

I think you are being a little bit unreasonable. She left you a note, which implies intention to repay. If you had been at your desk then of course she would have asked and you would probably have said yes. She probably just saw it as a convenient solution to her problem and means no harm by it.

It's not the same as going in your purse because it is not invading your privacy or leaving you short of change that you might need for your own bus fare, for example.

The carrier bag thing would have annoyed me, but I would not be bugged by the change unless she doesn't repay or does it regularly.

Suicidal5833 · 27/02/2014 15:54

The sheer cheek of some people and that includes carrior bag lady.

Jess03 · 27/02/2014 15:59

Just ask her about it everytime you bump into her, she'll pay you back eventually and probably with a bad grace!

NorwegianBirdhouse · 27/02/2014 16:36

Well maybe she really was caught short at home time, and she did put a note in telling you what she had done. Maybe she thought it would feel worse asking someone to lend it to her when a jar of coppers and loose change looks like it is going nowhere fast.

She could easily have taken it and you would be none the wiser.

notthegirlnextdoor · 27/02/2014 16:51

I am gobsmacked at the cheek of these people!
"Only 70p" "Only a carrier bag" well why fucking take it then if its "only"?! Taking without asking is theft.

FurryDogMother · 27/02/2014 17:04

Make sure you have 30p in change on you, and next time you see her ask if she has a pound coin 'cos you need it for something or other - then offer the 30p and say - thanks for the 70p you owe me :)

CaptainHindsight · 27/02/2014 17:18

I used to keep a tub on change in my top drawer for lunches/collections etc. I noticed over a few weeks the change appeared to be depleting. I counted it all up and over the next 3 days another £4 was stolen.

I emptied the tub and put a note in its place telling the thieving little fucker that I hope their hands rotted off.

I have never found the culprit. Angry
The sad thing is there isn't one colleague I wouldn't give £4 if they asked me.

Original poster
ChoccyDigestive82 · 28/02/2014 11:45

But the thing is she is always asking for something, every day it's "can I borrow a cigarette". I doubt very much this was for a bus ticket. It was more likely for a pack of fags. She spends the whole month moaning about being skint then on payday she is buying clothes online and getting her hair done - she lives at home whereas I don't. As soon as I open a pack of fags or bring out snack, she wants some of it.

It's getting annoying, she is a scrubber and I no longer feel like I am being unreasonable. Taking without asking is theft. Had it been a bunch of pound coins on my desk, would she have taken these? It's rude. My savings jar is not for any tom dick or harry to help themselves to when needs be.

OP posts:
lazyhound444 · 28/02/2014 11:59

I worked in an office years ago where a tight arsed thieving little git constantly took people's newspapers and magazines to read at break time (a) without asking (b) before the owner had even read them and (c) SHE DID THE CROSSWORD!!! Oh and don't get me started on foodstuffs disappearing from communal fridges. How someone can take another person's lovingly prepared lunch is beyond me. In one scenario they set up a hidden camera to find out who was doing it. Culprit ended up getting sacked!

AMumInScotland · 28/02/2014 11:59

The thing about coins though, is that they are actually interchangeable - someone can borrow 70p, and leave an IOU, and then pay you back, with 70p in coins that are every bit as 'good' as the ones they borrowed.

That's not the same as taking something which can't then be replaced in a short timescale, like the Prada carrier bag, or part of your snack.

If you don't want to lend her cigarettes, then don't. If you don't want to share your food, then don't. But a jar of coins on a desk, with an IOU left, which is then repaid, is not exactly dishonest, is it?

AMumInScotland · 28/02/2014 12:01

What pisses me off at my work is cartons of milk in the fridge - sometimes I have bought one, and only managed a splash in a couple of mugs of coffee before it has all mysteriously gone. Each person doubtless only takes a splash, but the end result is black coffee for me Angry

pompey27 · 28/02/2014 12:18

I don't think YABU at all. You can't help yourself to people's things whatever the value

NeedsAsockamnesty · 28/02/2014 12:23

If it is not yours you should not touch it, YANBU

Pumpkinpositive · 28/02/2014 12:27

Do you have a lockable desk? It's time to start removing temptation from Stickyfingers way!

She'll hopefully realise you weren't impressed when she realises the jar is now under lock and key.

Pumpkinpositive · 28/02/2014 12:30

But a jar of coins on a desk, with an IOU left, which is then repaid, is not exactly dishonest, is it?

She didn't ask though. I can't just swish into the local jewellers, liberate them of their biggest rock, and leave an IOU in its place.

OP may have decided against lending Stickyfingers the money had she been asked. She does have the right to do so.

GreenPetal94 · 28/02/2014 12:31

It's only 70p

WorraLiberty · 28/02/2014 12:32

This wouldn't have bothered me at all

If someone needed 70p for a bus, I'd just think it was good that my change jar was there.

If you think she's not going to give it back, just ask her for it

ForgettableTampon · 28/02/2014 12:33

lock away your stuff, say no to cadgers

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