I need soMe one anyone to talk to

[Suicidal5833]

I am extremely ill I'm hearing things including command pychosis seeing things and I've been told I'm very paranoid.

I won't take my kids to school and I won't sleep because I see a man on the street corner at all hours watching the house but whenever I go to fetch dh he is gone. I am scared he is a peado scouting out the house to take one my children.

I have tendencies of going catatonic in the past and doctor thinks this is what I am doing right now. As I don't do anything but play on my phone for some reason I am able to to this. I don't speak to the point even if someone is sat in the room they sometimes text me as they get a more in depth answer rather than usually a grunt.

I dream about suicide every night and it won't be long because the voices say I will sexually abuse the children if I stay. I don't care for my kids being unable to even care for myself. Dh had to physically bathe last night and has placed bottles of pop around the house as I'm dehydrated. The situation has been slowly degrading for weeks and now my husband works long hours and is trying to clean a house (when he has always been useless at it) cook dinner and take care of our three dc one of whom is severely disabled. My mother picks the kids up and takes care of them all day.

The problem I have a support from Mia because I have a disabled daughter and during one of her regular visits she saw how ill I was and the state on the house this has been going on months my house is a pig sty. And she has referred me to social services. What is there reaction to all the above likely to be my dc are getting to school since my mum took over their care btw. There is something else I'm giving up cannabis and I'm scared they will find out that I used to smoke it and will take the kids.

I don't know what to do and I feel very uneasy and paranoid about social services and sometimes when I get paranoia to bad I react badly. What is gonna happen am I gonna lose my dc?

[sewingandcakes]

Wow that's fantastic, well done! I was a student nurse until I got pregnant with ds1, and I'd love to go back to it again one day.

[sewingandcakes]

Sorry I didn't come back last night; ds1 had a meltdown at bedtime and I stayed with him while he went to sleep, and then I was tired sulking so I went to bed too.

How was your night? Did you get much sleep?

[Suicidal5833]

Sewingandcakes Just to save people wasting their time and replying I am leaving mnet. The reason for this is I have been accused of trolling because my twelve year old sis who is going through a difficult time knows I post here for support so decided to try herself. When posters discovered how young she was they urged her to tell my mam but she choose to tell me as we are very close. As she hadn't fully explained things on her thread and poster were under the impression current abuse was happening and that no one knew about her sh I posted to try and explain the full story. When I wAs accused of trolling. This has caused my mh to deteriorTe further and last night I self harmed. I can't have that. For anyone who would like to see and judge for themselves whether I'm trolling the thread is in mh and is titled I'm a teen self harming. I'm only telling you this as you have each given a little of yourself to me in answering my post and deserve to know the full story. So I am attempting to shut down any active threads thanks for your time and replies. If you do read that thread when I sAid I am babysitting it wAs a poor choice of words dh is babysitting.

[sewingandcakes]

I'm so sorry to hear that, both that you are leaving and about what happened last night. I hope that both you and your sister can get the help you need to feel better. I think you really need to get more support in RL.

Maybe you'll feel able to return to Mumsnet in the future, but if not, I wish you happier times ahead.

[Suicidal5833]

Thank you very much you have been a great support to me I shall miss the support of those who offered it. Thank you very much for everything.