Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

MNHQ have commented on this thread

1 2 3 4

MNHQ have commented on this thread

AIBU?

I need soMe one anyone to talk to

80 replies

Suicidal5833 · 27/02/2014 01:17

I am extremely ill I'm hearing things including command pychosis seeing things and I've been told I'm very paranoid.

I won't take my kids to school and I won't sleep because I see a man on the street corner at all hours watching the house but whenever I go to fetch dh he is gone. I am scared he is a peado scouting out the house to take one my children.

I have tendencies of going catatonic in the past and doctor thinks this is what I am doing right now. As I don't do anything but play on my phone for some reason I am able to to this. I don't speak to the point even if someone is sat in the room they sometimes text me as they get a more in depth answer rather than usually a grunt.

I dream about suicide every night and it won't be long because the voices say I will sexually abuse the children if I stay. I don't care for my kids being unable to even care for myself. Dh had to physically bathe last night and has placed bottles of pop around the house as I'm dehydrated. The situation has been slowly degrading for weeks and now my husband works long hours and is trying to clean a house (when he has always been useless at it) cook dinner and take care of our three dc one of whom is severely disabled. My mother picks the kids up and takes care of them all day.

The problem I have a support from Mia because I have a disabled daughter and during one of her regular visits she saw how ill I was and the state on the house this has been going on months my house is a pig sty. And she has referred me to social services. What is there reaction to all the above likely to be my dc are getting to school since my mum took over their care btw. There is something else I'm giving up cannabis and I'm scared they will find out that I used to smoke it and will take the kids.

I don't know what to do and I feel very uneasy and paranoid about social services and sometimes when I get paranoia to bad I react badly. What is gonna happen am I gonna lose my dc?

OP posts:

Report

LexiLouise · 27/02/2014 22:57

I'm annoyed on your behalf 5833

Could MNHQ come in and explain why they commented on this thread please?

Suicidal5833 · 27/02/2014 22:58

Thank you stayanotherday I will try and do one job a day.

OP posts:

Suicidal5833 · 27/02/2014 22:58

Thank you lexilouise.

OP posts:

stayanotherday · 27/02/2014 23:02

It can help to take your mind off things if only for five mins, five mins here and there adds up. I used to think of anything like sorting the sewing box or putting the rubbish out. It seems easier sometimes than worrying about the big picture.

Suicidal5833 · 27/02/2014 23:05

I also just realised I forgot dd speech therapy appointment two weeks running now they are gonna cancel her speech therapy.

OP posts:

PeaceEagle · 27/02/2014 23:09

It's policy for mnhQ to comment on threads where posters need a lot of support. It doesn't mean they think you are a troll, please don't worry about that. Do keep posting.

stayanotherday · 27/02/2014 23:10

Yes please do. Could you call them and explain?

Suicidal5833 · 27/02/2014 23:12

I could try getting my mum to call in the morning.

OP posts:

stayanotherday · 27/02/2014 23:26

That's a good idea. Well done for thinking ahead and being proactive!

Suicidal5833 · 28/02/2014 01:58

Thanks peaceeagle for explaining that makes me me less anxiousl now.

OP posts:

Suicidal5833 · 28/02/2014 02:57

I have taken my sleeping pills but I still can't sleep this is day four now I think of virtually no sleep.

OP posts:

Suicidal5833 · 28/02/2014 03:05

It's so loud and noisy with all the voices I hear how do u sleep when it feels like your in a room full of people shouting at you.

OP posts:

Dawndonnaagain · 28/02/2014 07:46

Hi,
Hope you have managed some sleep and that today is a better day.

Suicidal5833 · 28/02/2014 07:58

I managed about two hours I'm worried this lack of sleep is gonna make me manic.

OP posts:

sewingandcakes · 28/02/2014 16:49

How are you feeling now?

I was wondering whether putting a radio on quietly when you try to sleep might help? My oldest son is struggling to sleep at the moment, and we're going through everything we can think of. This week I've played a relaxation track on YouTube outside his room, and I've just got some Bach night remedy, so I'll try it tonight. Lack of sleep is awful isn't it?

Do you get enough support for you child with Autism? It must be very challenging to cope with at times.

Suicidal5833 · 28/02/2014 17:00

Sewingandcakes dc1 is being investigated for asd and ADHD dc2 is severely autistic and dc3 has a moderate speech delay. If I'm honest I was struggling even when I was well. I have so many appointments between the three of them and my own mental health problems I'm completely sinking. I usually sleep with the tele on.

OP posts:

sewingandcakes · 28/02/2014 17:23

You've got a lot to cope with! My oldest is also being assessed for what we think is ASD & ADHD, it's a long process and managing his behaviour is hard at times. I managed to find out about a local support group for parents and this support has helped with a lot of my MH issues.

Do you get any respite care for dc2, or anyone in RL that you can have a moan to/a laugh with?

sewingandcakes · 28/02/2014 17:25

I've also found that remembering appointments etc is hard; I bought an Organised Mum diary at christmas to help me, with a bit more success.

Suicidal5833 · 28/02/2014 17:28

Dc2 would be too frightened by respite care so I've turned it down. Sorry to hear you are in the same boat I just wanna shut the door with my babies inside and ignore the rest of the world. It feels relentless and never ending I'm also a teen mother I was 17 having my first. I'm only 26 now.

OP posts:

Suicidal5833 · 28/02/2014 17:29

I have two close friends but as neither have a child with sn it's hard for them to understand.

OP posts:

Suicidal5833 · 28/02/2014 17:49

Can I also say I'm very isolated as I don't want people in rl to know about my illness. But out of curiosity if you were my friend would you be scared of me?

OP posts:

sewingandcakes · 28/02/2014 17:50

I can relate to the relentless feeling, and shutting the world out, even though doing that didn't help me.

What did you like to do before you had kids? Is there anything you could try again, something just for you? It's hard to find the time and energy to do things for yourself but it's important to put yourself first sometimes.

I've got to make tea and sort out the kids now, but I'll be back later.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

sewingandcakes · 28/02/2014 17:55

I would have been scared/confused a few years ago if any friends had told me they had similar feelings/thoughts to those you have, but I now have a friend who has had a lot of MH problems, including suicidal thoughts and PTSD, and I've listened to her and supported her, and she has done the same for me. It was hard for me to tell people in RL about my depression, but I'm glad I did, as they ask me how I am and listen when I need to unload.

Isolation won't be helping you, do you think you could tell your friends, or do you think they'll be unsupportive?

Suicidal5833 · 28/02/2014 17:55

I've signed up to start a access to nursing and midwifery course in September. I want to be a mw but I have to get well in order to do that.

OP posts:

Suicidal5833 · 28/02/2014 17:56

My only two friends know.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.