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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring my children who will sit quietly during the parent teacher interview?

43 replies

DingbatsFur · 26/02/2014 16:26

We have two DSs, both in primary school & no local family. The schools here used to allow children to come with their parents to the parent teacher interview and sit quietly outside the class for 15 minutes. It worked reasonably well and is common practice here.
Apparently last year a couple of children misbehaved and now we are told not to bring the children to the interview. Today's school collection brought home two appointments for interviews. One on the day my DH picks up the kids & one on the day I pick up the kids. Meaning we will need either to rearrange all the existing childcare arrangements and then take time off, or.... Take the kids to the interview.
My sons are generally well behaved and if handed an ipod each are likely to be quiet.
AIBU to bring the kids (though informing the teacher of the predicament beforehand)?

OP posts:
Original poster
DingbatsFur · 26/02/2014 16:26

Note the kids will be in a shared classroom outside the interview room. Not in the actual room with us.

OP posts:
SpottyDottie · 26/02/2014 16:30

Are you sure all children are banned? This is such an odd situation. I have never heard of no children at a parent evening before.

StarGazeyPond · 26/02/2014 16:37

now we are told not to bring the children to the interview

What part of ^^ don't you understand?

Original poster
DingbatsFur · 26/02/2014 16:39

The part where I have no real choice.

OP posts:
Dahlen · 26/02/2014 16:40

WHy don't you call the school and explain that either you will be unable to attend, or request to rearrange to a day you can sort out childcare, or suggest you bring your well-behaved children with you. I'm pretty sure that if you adopt a reasonable tone and try to work with the school you'll find that they meet you halfway. IME they'll probably say it's fine o bring them, they just don't want to be inundated by parents with children who don't behave as well and so try to discourage it by having rules as above.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 26/02/2014 16:43

Our school has this rule too. It is a bit of a pain. I normally grab one of the late slots and go when DH gets back from work. Do you have a neighbour who could sit with them for a bit?

aquashiv · 26/02/2014 16:43

We take all three of ours and they sit and listen to what the teacher has to say about them it works well. Lots of parents do it.

5Foot5 · 26/02/2014 16:43

Are you sure all children are banned? This is such an odd situation. I have never heard of no children at a parent evening before.

Really? That was common practice at DD's primary. I was more surpised when she got to secondary and we were told that the child was expected to attend.

MostWicked · 26/02/2014 16:44

Are you sure all children are banned? This is such an odd situation. I have never heard of no children at a parent evening before

My kids' primary school always had that policy. If we couldn't get a babysitter, I did the appointments on my own. DH had the kids.

Thetallesttower · 26/02/2014 16:46

How ridiculous! Usually there are a lot of staff around on parents evenings and other parents so there's no issue with children waiting around outside (I always leave mine outside). You are encouraged to bring them in but I prefer to have a frank chat.

Surely many many parents would have childcare issues, I can't believe the school is so badly organized it can't cope with a few kids sitting outside, you know, what with being a school and all.

Whathaveiforgottentoday · 26/02/2014 16:46

Our school runs a creche for school aged children during parents evening. You have to book a place in advance but seems a sensible compromise. Perhaps you could suggest it?

shakinstevenslovechild · 26/02/2014 16:47

I have been in your situation and asked the teacher if I could make an appointment with her straight after school on another day to discuss dd, which she was fine with.

Original poster
DingbatsFur · 26/02/2014 16:48

Hi Dahlen, yes, I think I'll guve them fair warning and ask what else they expect us to do. In a nice entirely reasonable way though!
No neighbours as it's the afternoon and most are working. Retired neighbour's husband is in hospital so can't help.
Last time my mother was over so she helped, but she lives far away. We are well and truly screwed. I am tired of bending over backwards to please the school.

OP posts:
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 26/02/2014 16:49

aqua - Do the children listen to their siblings reports? I wouldn't like that in case they tease each other.

Original poster
DingbatsFur · 26/02/2014 16:49

Should note this is not evening, this is afternoon. 1:30pm and 3pm.

OP posts:
Minnieisthedevilmouse · 26/02/2014 16:49

Stupid policy. Call and talk. Bet puts loads of going. Then get moaned at for not taking part!

Sunnymeg · 26/02/2014 16:51

DS's primary set up some activities in the hall and have a TA in to oversee them. Could you perhaps suggest this?

MiniSoksMakeHardWork · 26/02/2014 16:54

1:30? What time does school finish? I'd ask rather than assume. As if they are adamant then you have time to arrange something.

Our school puts on a film in the main hall with a member of staff wandering around to make sure children don't disappear. Might be worth suggesting to your school if other parents have similar problems.

Topseyt · 26/02/2014 16:57

I am sure you won't be alone with this problem. Phone and explain. You will either have to bring the children with you or you will not be able to attend the interview. I would hope the school would understand that not everyone has easy access to babysitting.

I'm confused about the time though. If it is between 1.30 pm nd 3.00pm then surely the children would be in school anyway, unless they have closed for the afternoon???

BackforGood · 26/02/2014 17:01

My dcs' Infant school had this policy. I took my dc with me, as clearly it's a daft policy. My dc were capable of being bribed / threatened, then sitting quietly for a 5 min consultation.

The school needs to understand that it is safer to have the children sitting in the corridor than being left home alone or standing outside the school. They never seemed to mind dc sitting quietly in the corridor with their parents, but got quite cross when I said they could stay outside and play in the playground in the Summer one (with older sibling). Thing is, they can't have it both ways. Most schools understand that.

Original poster
DingbatsFur · 26/02/2014 17:01

Hi Topseyt, yes they have indeed closed for the entire afternoon all week. Parents are expected to collect children at 1pm.
The film in the hall sounds like a brilliant idea as does the creche. I could suggest they do that in exchange for maybe a donation to the pta.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 26/02/2014 17:02

Oh, done my usual - open several windows then x-post with people Blush

How are they having parents evening appts in school time ? Confused
That's even more ridiculous expecting parents to have 'on tap' childcare or come to the consultation at all to be honest

Original poster
DingbatsFur · 26/02/2014 17:05

I know! When I was a child the parent teacher meetings were done in the evening. A pain for the teachers I know, but at least it was all over and done with in one evening. This school does interviews all week in the afternoons.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 26/02/2014 17:07

Closing each afternoon for the entire week is downright odd. What on earth are they doing that for?. Most schools offer the choice of one or two evenings, or an after school appointment for parents evenings, but I have never heard of them closing for the afternoons for a week!!!

What on earth are working parents supposed to do in this instance?

Original poster
DingbatsFur · 26/02/2014 17:10

That is exactly while I feel fed up and screwed!

OP posts:
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