AIBU to wish my colleague would STOP EATING for five sodding minutes?

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I have recently moved desks and the colleague I now sit opposite never seems to stop eating. So far as I know she has no medical conditions that mean she has to graze constantly, it seems to be a combination of liking her food and possibly boredom/habit.

It is driving me up the wall as it is just non-stop. I am learning a new system, I'm having to concentrate hard (inbetween Mumsnetting, obviously ) and it's all to a constant backdrop of rustle-chomp-gulp-rustle-chomp-gulp. She started eating at 09:15 this morning and has barely paused for breath since. It was the same yesterday. I've started yearning to be invited to a meeting just to get away from it, and that's saying something...

ShutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupSHUTUP!

my colleague has had golden syrup porridge, an apple, and an apple pie.

The only person in my office has had a fruit smoothie and is currently cooking fish in the microwave.

(Oh okay, that's me. Thank heavens for everyone I work at home!).

I am ashamed to admit that I think when I worked in an office I was the office eater.

Now eating a Terrys chocolate orange.....

She has just got some cookies out

The law firm I used to work at monitored internet use. Any use of forums, BookFace etc between 8:30 and 12 and then 1 and 5 was considered a disciplinary offence.

This would drive me totally mental. YANBU.

We are now onto a bowl of soup and a roll.

She had a bowl of cereal this morning as well!

I am enjoying everyone's running commentary on what their colleagues are eating

Cheese and crackers and a yoghurt.

This is the same person by the way

Oh dear I always munch something at work. Not smelly or noisy though.
Can't function without grazing!!

I don't understand TBH why so many people have a problem with their colleagues grazing if they are not noisy, smelly, messy or under productive.

Zombies I think the fact so many of us have noticed our colleagues eating so much in the first place suggests that you are probably noisier, smellier, messier or less productive than you think you are!

It is sheer volume that I am surprised at

I notice. I notice because 1) the office is fairly small so any food is noisy. And smelly
2) because, bar a couple of biscuits, or actual lunch at lunch time, no one else spends so much time eating and 3) because weight watcher woman gives us a running fucking commentary.

She has since eaten a pot of jelly and an orange btw

someone in this building is cooking fish.

That should be banned.

I sit opposite a girl who has about 3 packets of crisps a day.

Aftereach packet she will loudly suck each finger on both hands. Sends me crazy. She is 23 and should know better

My BIL's boss is a constant eater. He is one of those rare people who cannot keep weight on for some medical reason and has to eat vast amounts just to stay rake thin. The other day they went out for a massive lunch then boss bought a huge box of patisserie to eat in the car on the way back. 'Oh, want one?' he says cheerily to BIL.

The head honcho at my place still tells the story of his trainee from years ago who used to share his office while they did a big project. Trainee ate all the time and honcho tried to ignore but finally cracked the day trainee ate an entire cheesecake (not even a supermarket one-the large kind you get from bakeries) complete with loud lip-smacking. From that day on all eating in the office was banned, and trainee used to get very twitchy from not being able to eat all the time. From that day on all trainees are told to take lunch outside the office (we claim it is to save their sanity and force them to have a break, but actually it's to save ours).

For those posters defending constant eaters and suggesting more time is being wasted on Mumsnet. How do you know that the constant eaters are not on Mumsnet as well? They may be munching away and browsing through the Talk section.

Should be fairly obvious if they happen upon this thread because there will be tears/shouting/recriminations!!

She has just eaten 3 cookies, now getting out a sandwich and a salad.......

mine has eaten 3 quarters of a packet of eclairs. Loudly. and grapes

Mine has a huge pack of grapes on her desk ready to eat next

How do they eat so much?

It's like a duel between Clear and Tantrums colleagues

Aftereach packet she will loudly suck each finger on both hands. Sends me crazy. She is 23 and should know better

I have no idea why, but I'm irrationally angry after reading this ^^

I can feel my blood pressure rising...