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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To swan off on holiday and leave DS1 behind on his own?

33 replies

Fecklessdizzy · 24/02/2014 16:37

DS1 is desperate to go to this week-long LARP event in August with his big-boy cousins and a buch of his mates. He's sixteen, has already been to several and always has a great time ...

The problem is that the rest of us are supposed to be in Scotland that week with my family and as we're staying on an island just running him back ( it's near London ) isn't really an option!

He wants to stay at home so he can go to his thing - would I be mad/ criminally irresponsible to let him? He's very sensible and his Grandma lives two doors away on one side and his Uncle's just across the road ...

What do you bunch of vipers think?

OP posts:

cathpip · 24/02/2014 16:39

Fine, let him stay. As you say granny and uncle are close by.

MrsMcEnroe · 24/02/2014 16:39

If you have a grandmother AND an uncle both living on the same street to keep sn eye on things, I would do it, no question!

Pootles2010 · 24/02/2014 16:39

Oh god i stayed home at 16 all the time. Especially if he's responsible, and his Gran is nearby.

You know he could legally live on his own at 16, right?

Hegsy · 24/02/2014 16:41

Could he stay at grandmas? Not sure how comfortable I'd be leaving my 16 year old alone for a week, in saying that I was left home alone for long weekends etc from around 17 but I was working as well as studying so couldn't get the time off my parents could.

Hmmm suppose if grandma & uncle could pop in daily I'd probably leave him home

Finola1step · 24/02/2014 16:45

Leave him at home. Put in the necessary boundaries that you think are appropriate. Show him some trust but make it vv clear what the consequences will be if that trust is broken.

mrsjay · 24/02/2014 16:46

in the nicest possible way he isn't 6 leave him his grandma can feed him fwiw i left dd2 with dd1 dd2 was 15 he will be fine

ikeaismylocal · 24/02/2014 16:51

He could legally leave home if he wanted, I'm sure he'll be fine at home for a few days alone.

Just think in a couple of years he cwould be backpacking around tge world by himself, see it as training ;)

BackforGood · 24/02/2014 16:54

I wouldn't leave my ds at 16, but that's more down to it being my ds, than dc generally . I'm sure I'd let dd stay on her own if she wanted to when she's 16 (in 7 months time).

I think the fact that Grandma and Uncle are there to keep a close eye means it would be fine for 99% of 16 yr olds.

innisglas · 24/02/2014 16:55

Well, I'm sixty and when I was young, every time one of my friends was left alone in their house it would be party time.

I certainly wouldn't worry for your son's security, but I would worry about the house, of course you know your child.

Original poster

Fecklessdizzy · 24/02/2014 17:02

I've already said that if we do give him the OK he's not to have anybody round and no telling anyone on FB or in the real world that he's on his own ...

OP posts:

SometimesLonely · 24/02/2014 17:03

I would go and leave him behind. I would also fill the freezer with ready meals and would arrange for there to be more than the number of meals he would normally have during a week. My parents left me at home when I was 17 (at work) so they could go to to a holiday camp seaside resort. Pre ready meals, my mother left sufficient food for each meal that week but I was greedy and ate it all before the week was finished. Luckily, I had a nearby aunt who cooked like a dream so knew where to go when I was hungry ......

mrsjay · 24/02/2014 17:04

I am sure with granny 2 doors away he wont be whooping it up or anybody will be round but yes it is wise if you dont want anybody know he is in on his own really

takingthathometomomma · 24/02/2014 17:05

You can legally live alone at 16, I'm sure he'll be fine for a week. Enjoy your holiday!

GinSoakedMisery · 24/02/2014 17:06

It's not as if you're leaving him because you don't want to take him, he wants to stay.

Go for it, he has family nearby to keep an eye on him.

My parents went to Disneyland when I was 17 without me, but they never even asked if I wanted to go, they took my (older) brother and little sister but never bothered to take me. It's always there in the back of my head, unwanted and unloved

mrsjay · 24/02/2014 17:08

oh god that is horrible why didnt they take you to disney land

Original poster

Fecklessdizzy · 24/02/2014 17:08

Awww, Gin that's awful! Non-MN hug!

OP posts:

SometimesLonely · 24/02/2014 17:19

GinSoakedMisery Disneyland? You had a lucky escape. My parents took my 12 year old sister to the holiday camp seaside resort and I didn't want to go preferred to stay at home.

GinSoakedMisery · 24/02/2014 17:37

Ah it's ok, thanks for the sympathy. I went when I was 29 with my own children and had an amazing time.

sparklyma · 24/02/2014 18:30

I would let him stay but under strict rules. He can't havefriends to stay unless he specifically asks. He texts or rings once a day. He answers texts or phone calls straight away and keeps his phone charged. He locks all doors at night. He checks all gas appliances before bed time. He eats 1 sensible meal a day! He checks in with grandma or uncle once a day.

CrohnicallyFarting · 24/02/2014 18:41

I think if he did try to have a party, grandma or uncle would notice! Go for it, I'm sure I stayed home for the first time around that age. I might have been 15, I have an older brother who was supposed to look after me but as soon as my parents were gone we went our separate ways.

Catsmamma · 24/02/2014 18:44

ooh he's Getting an Empty!!

I am sure he'll be fine....we are having a 2 night stay away soon, and leaving ds2 (16) and dd (18) home alone with the dogfaces.

for some reason ds2 thought it was last weekend and was quite disappointed that we stayed here all weekend. :D

BellaVita · 24/02/2014 18:56

I would leave DS1.

DS2 is 14, couldn't even think about leaving him at 16...

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 24/02/2014 19:09

I'd be more worried about your house than your son. Is he the sort to have a big party?

KurriKurri · 24/02/2014 19:50

When my kids were that sort of age,and wanted to stay on their own (usually for same reasons as your DS- they had more interesting plans than whatever we were doing ), I was fine with it. A sensible 16 year old (and by August will he be nearly 17?) is quite capable of looking after themselves.

I always told mine they could have a friend to stay while we were away (one friend not an army of friends) which meant they had a bit of company and I knewthey weren;t on their own entirely.
But we didn't have relatives close by - your Ds has the support there if he needs it.

Original poster

Fecklessdizzy · 24/02/2014 20:19

He's not a party animal ... he has a few mates around to play games or whatever but it's more a lemonade and pringles sort of crew than speed and slammers ( famous last words! )

His big-boy cousins have volunteered to spy for me and his Gran's going to have him round to supper each night so he won't starve ...

You've reassured me, thanks! It's hard to judge when it's your eldest.

OP posts:

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