to be perfectly happy in my own company?

[Stinklebell]

because apparently it's "weird"

I'm not madly extrovert, not a hermit either, but I am perfectly happy pottering around by myself.

I work part time from home, and I've just had a very nice couple of hours with Sky+ and my ironing pile

DH is the opposite, loves company, always organising get togethers and nights out - even stuff like a Saturday night takeaway turns into a mad social gathering and sometimes I just find it a bit too much.

My DH went away with our kids a couple of weeks ago, and a friend was all "oh, you can't stay home on your own, I'll be over Friday with some wine, we'll go shopping Saturday then we'll go out Saturday night". It was lovely of her, but she didn't quite get that actually, I am just fine tootling around alone. I like mooching around the shops on my own, I like chilling out with a film or something on my own. I don't want to stand outside the school gates for an hour every morning chatting, or go somewhere for coffee or meet up for lunch every day

I don't mind friends over, I don't mind meeting friends for a coffee, I just don't want to do it all the time. I like my own space, I like my own company, I'm not bored or lonely, I just don't want to be surrounded by people all the time.

It's not unreasonable, right?

I like my own company. In fact, I'd love to have my own bedroom where I could watch tv or read or sleep in peace and quiet without being bothered by children or husband.

YADNBU! I think it's healthy to be able to enjoy both socialising with other people and also enjoying your own company,
I love to see other people and go out and meet for a get together or whatever, but I also love just as much being on my own.
I actually veer more towards thinking it's weird to never want to be alone with yourself, and always have to be out doing things with other people!
What if other people are busy doing other things, and you have no-one else to go with to do the thing you want to do?
I know a few people who would never go to the cinema by themselves,as a random example. Just would NOT. Even though they desperately want to go, they'd rather miss it and sit at home instead if it meant going by themselves.
Why?! When it's something you want to do? Can you really not bear to be around yourself for that long without someone to distract you?!
What if you grow older and have no-one around to go out with as much, would you rather stay in and stare at the four walls? (Know someone who does this, too.)
It's bizarre. It's HEALTHY to do things by yourself every now and again!
Oh, and I sometimes love spending a few hours by myself with a dvd boxset and the housework too, over going out to meet with friends.

I'm a definite extrovert. 300+ friends on Facebook and not accepting any more but my deepest pleasure is just to be totally on my own. I've lived alone ('twas bliss) travelled alone (ditto, a near deserted island with no mobile, no Internet, no electricity and no one knowing where I was - I was in heaven)... I even married a man who's first valentines day present to me post wedding was a night in a romantic hotel ON MY OWN.

Relax, tis normal.

an introvert is someone who recharges their energy by being on their own. They might well love the company of other people and have lots of friends but being with people for too long can be tiring, so they need some me time to recharge. Extroverts recharge their batteries from other people's energy.
It has little to do with needing company, isolating yourself etc etc it has to do with how you get your energy.

Shocking You might not be an extrovert you know! You might be, but number of FB friends is not a measure of it at all.

Many of us (including those of us who, like me, always thought we were extroverts and now find we're not) have a superficial understanding of what the extrovert/introvert labels actually mean.

I always thought I couldn't possibly be an introvert because
I have quite a lot of friends, enjoy social situations, and make friends easily. But I have learned a lot from what I've read. Have a look at some of the linked articles upthread!

I wonder if you would feel differently if no-one bothered with you at all?

The thing is you are married and you have friends. Even introverts like company sometimes, but your friends actually bother with you and make you feel valued. If you were ignored all the time you might occasionally crave company - the same way that you crave "me time" now.

At least you have a choice.

It's definitely changed since I had dc am with dh. Because dc are quite demanding on my time so I value the breaks more.

I spent the weekend at an event for my hobby. Lots of people, lots of friends, lots of socialising and nattering. Great fun but tiring, I needed to re-charge by being on my own (I always pay extra for a single room when I go to these events)

I took a friend there and back - couple of hours car journey - it was lovely, but friend is a complete extrovert. Wanted to come with me so that they had someone to chat to on the journey and not have to travel alone. It was great, I don't get to see friend very often, but I do not get the 'find someone to travel with' thing.

Thankfully I have a good bunch of friends and the extroverts understand us introvert types and vice versa, we all rub along together pretty well. I love being social and being with friends, but almost always when it comes to going out of the door I think 'I'd rather be at home with a book/DVD'. I enjoy myself when I'm out and would hate not to have the option. I am VERY aware indeed that I need to socialise, I find it far too easy to not do so and I don't want to not have the option to be with people.

I'm an only child and Other Half, who is even more hermetty than I am is the middle one of three. Just to add to those data points.

That waffle brought to you by a lack of caffeine and thus only borderline functional brain...

Anyone else in this category an only child by any chance?

I spent my entire childhood (quite happily) in my own company. We live abroad now so I am a SAHM without a network of friends so I spend most days on my own.

FWIW, there's nothing wrong with it at all. I think most people are too insecure to spend any time alone.

Lizzylou I hate bumping into people too, especially on my commute. I enjoy sitting quietly.

I see school mothers who huddle together with the same group 5 days a week; arranging coffee and playdates. I would feel suffocated.

I much prefer being anonymous around a group of people. However my dd has attended a fair number of birthday parties so I have to greet/do small talk with the parents which I am not so good at.

I always felt so strange growing up as I was so different to my sibling. She was always in the centre while I was happy to be in the corner reading. I was rarely accepted and understood.

Bunbaker I understand your point. Choosing not to meet up with people is from different from not having anyone to meet. I would hate to have no friends.

As a teenager I had a friend who just had to be in the company of others. She did not like staying at home. If I was unavailable she called other friends. I found her draining as I did not want to go out all the time. Even on moving out in her 20's, she had constant visitors. She is still the same - loves a full house.

I like visitors but in moderation and on my terms. I like to close the door on the world.

I seem to have an alter ego in company and probably try too hard to be out going and sociable

Actually me too, when I'm with close friends or people I'm comfortable with, I am fairly outgoing. I find it harder with acquaintances/school mum type friends though to keep up that facade. I find it exhausting though. I get to the point where I need to be by myself for a while.

I wonder if you'd feel differently if no-one bothered with you

That's true, I do have the choice. As much as I hate too much company, I'd hate no company at all

You are SOOO not being unreasonable its unreasonable!!! Yeah, i like company, now and again, but mostly i prefer being on my own.

in fact, tht reminds me, i have just volunteered to do a sponsored bike ride which is all good, but already DP is asking who i am doing it with - err, no-one! I want to do it on my own, i am now bothered by the fact that there will be other people doing it [freak]

well, have read all these comments with great interest. seems to one thing you all have in common is that you do seem to have family, and do seem to have a network of friends. i have neither!.......so have no choice but to be on my own. just seems that making friends has eluded me most of my life. so its finding out how to be comfortable in my own skin and in my own company for most of the time. if there's anyone else out there in the same position as me.......let me know how you deal with this.

I hate long car journeys with people. I much prefer to go off on my own and listen to the radio whilst driving. Being in such an enclosed space with someone for ages is draining.

I hate long car journeys on my own as they seem to take twice as long. I listen to the radio or an audio book, but it still seems to drag.

Hi

I can relate with everything OP and others have said, I've always been the same. But like posters Bunmaker said if you have friends and choose time alone that can leave you happy, as opposed to no friends and time alone not when you choose but all the time.

To be honest for a while I've been feeling like Bunmaker suggested. I moved to scotland, all my childhood friends left behind. Well three married moved away, and one in home time, but they all visit hometown to see siblings and parents in kids school holidays. So if I was living there I'd see them, especially the one who lives there still. I know we are both busy with kids, but even if I met her once a month that would be mentally stimulating for me. It's nice to talk to someone other than your husband. Course I love him but it's different with friends, and different on the phone.

I do crave company, but more so I crave some time away from the children I really do feel like I'm not coping. I'm a glorified housewife aka skivvy. My daily life is clean, feed, cook, clean again, it's relentless. Then got the cat to feed and clean out too. life is pretty crap for me for that last few years.

My confidence is at an all time low, I can't even pop out to local shop without one of the kids, because I feel so insecure it's pathetic.

It's tough to make friends as an adult you need to social situations and they don't present to me, because I'm home 24/7 with kids.

anyways OP hopefully one day I'm back to where you are, with the option of friendly company or none if I so choose.

I love my own company too. I really look forward to settling down with a good book, a knitting project or a crossword. I regularly go to the cinema by myself so that I get to see the films I really want to (and so we don't have to pay a babysitter).

My DH (an only child!) often doesn't get me at all. If we read together then he 'reads' something he can skim like a magazine or newspaper. Whilst doing so he always tries to interrupt what I'm reading to make me look at a picture or to fill me in on an 'interesting' fact. It's like he finds the quiet suffocating.

I don't think he's an extrovert as he makes little effort with a social life and he enjoys pottering around at home but for him he has to be accomplishing things and getting little jobs done. I actually like to just be. I don't feel like I need to have a 'to do' list that I'm mentally checking off each day to give my life purpose. 'Reading' or 'knitting' are never must-do activities, particularly in my husband's eyes, but they absolutely are for me, they enrich my life and make me happy.

He's a workaholic these days but used to love playing golf (before I met him) so let's hope when he retires (not for another 15 years at least) he gets back out on the golf course to give me the peace and quiet I crave! Else, we're doomed!

Another weirdo here . Sometimes I love company, but equally, I am happy in my own company. Always have been. I think in my case it comes from the fact I'm an only child and my parents were never really into interacting with me much. But it's fine!

I used to think I was an introvert - I was labelled shy at school - but actually I'm not at all. I'm quietly assertive, very confident most of the time and the complete opposite of shy and retiring. I'm in my mid 30s and it's taken me a long time to realise that it's fine to not be that person yelling and making the most noise and being "Wayhay look at me! Extrovert! Extrovert! Extrovert!".

It's so lovely being old enough to not have to be part of systems that are designed for extroverts. Like school. And I never walk past a disco or nightclub without feeling profoundly thankful that I never have to go in one again.

When I worked in the City I was a weirdo. Now I work in a University, I am normal. I work FT- but spend a lot of time in my quiet office. It is paperless and I have a completely clear desk- because mess and clutter make me tired. I absolutely can't do the "cosy, cluttered" look, at home or at work.

I actually dislike the radio. There's that special "radio voice" people do, with an undercurrent of urgency, very unrestful. And for me there is no such thing as background noise: if it's happening, I will listen to it.

I have a senior job and I'm pretty assertive, but I don't enjoy networking in big groups or managing big teams. But I find networking 1 to 1 and managing small teams works just as well.

Luckily DH and my three DC are used to me. I "have a bath" every evening which is my excuse to go away and be by myself.