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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu, letting dd wear boys swimming trunks...

84 replies

5madthings · 22/02/2014 22:23

So dd is just threeand totally obsessed by dinosaurs, I was sorting out some of the boys old clothes (4 older boys) and putting some away for dd, I found a pair of dinosaur swimming trunks. Dd saw them and immediately wanted to put them on, and loves them. They are fitted shorts style and fit fine will be perfectfor this summer.

Anyway I figure they are fine for beach or swimming, on the beach she will prob wear a t-shirt as well purely because of sun etc but for swimming in a pool the trunks are fine...or so I thought but mentioned it in passing to a friend who thought dd should wear a full costume or atleast a bikini type top... really?!

Last year she had a tankini thing, purely as she was potty training and it was easier, she liked the top so wore it as well but obviousy didnt need to wear it, what with having no boobs!

I think the trunks are fine, she likes them and saves buying new, but then I remebered a thread on here where a toddler girl was told (well her parents were told) she must cover her top half as she is a girl.

I am hoping our pool doesnt have this policy!

So aibu to let dd wear boys trunks or should I buy her a costume?

OP posts:

ReadyToPopAndFresh · 23/02/2014 09:00

I think covering up a young girl is weird (especially when it's just their "breasts" because you are actually saying they have something there and that it should be hidden)

ReadyToPopAndFresh · 23/02/2014 09:02

HOpalong I'm a B at a push. I have seen so many men flaunt what is easily a C or D cup. It's quite interesting really that because my breasts are functional I should have to hide them

everlong · 23/02/2014 09:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

winterlace · 23/02/2014 09:03

I don't think you are really, any more than you are 'saying' anything with any item of clothing . A lot of stuff exists for aesthetic rather than practical purposes. I know no one likes them on mumsnet but my DD has a headband even though she hasn't got much hair (she is 15 months!) I bought it because I think it's cute and I like it. Same worth bikinis for little kids.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 23/02/2014 09:05

My problem is being pressed up against someone on public transport or just out and about and having their sweaty skin touching mine. Makes me stabby.

peggyundercrackers · 23/02/2014 09:07

surely the only way the people in the swimming pool will know shes a girl is because of her long hair? tell them shes a boy but likes his hair long - are they going to ask you to prove it?

TheGonnagle · 23/02/2014 09:09

My daughter is 4. SHe only wears a top on the beach when it's really hot and that's a surfy rash vest. Otherwise it's topless all the way, she doesn't have anything to cover so why would she need to?

Original poster

5madthings · 23/02/2014 09:19

i dont like bikinis on little girls eithet.

last yr dd had tankini set as she was potty training. it was essentially a vest and swim pants but 90% of the time she had a t shirt or long sleeved cotton top om at the beach purely sun protection.

ughh at sweaty body contact on public transport...boak.

OP posts:

ReadyToPopAndFresh · 23/02/2014 09:22

5mad,

Confused.. did she wear it in the house because she was potty training or do you mean when out and about? We just went naked at home for PT cause I was fed up of washing clothes. You still have to wash them if they get weed on don't you?

Lagoonablue · 23/02/2014 09:22

A bikini top on a 3 yr old us actually more weird tbh.

Original poster

5madthings · 23/02/2014 09:22

and winterlace i am pretty sure in my thinking its fine but someone questioned it so thought i would see what more people thought. not becaus i thought they would change my mind, i was just intetested and also to hear why people thought a small girl shd cover up. so in your case you being uncomfortable as s child...reasonable... the poster who saud wierdos that get off on naked kids...unreasonable! iyswim!

OP posts:

Original poster

5madthings · 23/02/2014 09:24

oh she was naked at home i mean out at the beach, i would have let her be naked but was worried about sand in places you dont want sand!

OP posts:

winterlace · 23/02/2014 09:25

Fair enough 5!

ReadyToPopAndFresh · 23/02/2014 09:26

Ah Ok, wondered if there was some trick I didn't knwo about. Have to start with ds soon and am dreading it.

Original poster

5madthings · 23/02/2014 09:28

no tricks here just do it when they are ready!

right best go dino park here we come!

OP posts:

TheScience · 23/02/2014 09:31

My 3 year old just wears swimming trunks at the pool and I have never considered paedos looking at him

Just bottoms on a girl under about 8 is fine - after that social convention does dictate a top, but I find bikini tops really inappropriate on children.

I remember my mum calling me in and telling me I had to wear a top after I'd stripped off for a water fight in our street. I was really as all the boys were topless! I guess I was about 8 or 9 then.

namechangesforthehardstuff · 23/02/2014 09:34

Just the bottoms of a tankini for dd (4) And starkers at the beach where no-one's policing bottom wearing.

BUT I am v surprised to see so many pp saying they hate seeing bikinis on girls because I have NEVER seen another little girl without her top half covered in the UK. I think it's a real shame....

TheScience · 23/02/2014 09:39

Most little girls wear one-piece swimming costumes or proper tops though rather than bikini tops - when you occasionally do see a toddler in a little ruffley triangle top it makes me

apermanentheadache · 23/02/2014 09:45

This is not the UAE or Saudi Arabia. Your little DD should be able to wear trunks if she wants to. If a pool tried to tell me otherwise I would not just let it go. But am sure they woukd not dare to challenge you.

goldenlula · 23/02/2014 10:12

As someone else said, I would prefer to see a little girl of that age in just bottoms than in a bikini top. Dd was given a swimming costume where the main costume finished under the 'breast' and then there were two triangles to cover her 'breasts'. It was an age 1-2 years. It was just plain odd to me and I put it in the charity shop pike. Why would a young child need a piece of clothing that made so much out 'boobs'. Dd is almost 3, she will either have a tankini (found out from friends of girls these are easier to get up and down for toilet stops) or a full swimming costume or if available just the bottoms. I can remember running around the beach in just bottoms and I got my first bikin at about 11 I think.

ZanyMobster · 23/02/2014 10:40

I think it sounds fine.

I agree with Highlander One of my pet hates is little girls in bikinis or crop tops. Girls of that age should either wear a proper swimsuit or just bottoms. There really is no reason for bikini tops and don't get me started on triangle bikinis on children!

I think a bikini top or crop top looks more 'sexualised' than just bottoms, who actually cares about naked kids on the beach. In the pool it would be odd but my DSs often go in the sea naked if I pick them up from school and it happens to be sunny and we have no stuff with us.

ZanyMobster · 23/02/2014 10:43

I agree that under 8 is probably most suitable regarding no top, I am not sure many 8 or 9 YO girls would be happy without a top anyway and some are developing by that age also.

Tankinis are ok as they are just like swimming costumes but easier if in swim nappies or potty training definitely.

HighlanderMam · 23/02/2014 11:00

Crop top/tankini style tops are okay IMO, for potty training it's easier, bla bla, however bottoms are sufficient, no need for a top. Bikini tops are not okay on pre pubescent children.

JuliaScurr · 23/02/2014 11:10

shouldn't boys over 8 wear T shirts?
they might develop fine downy chest hair or small muscles
surely they shouldn't be flaunting themselves

youarewinning · 23/02/2014 13:25

5madthings i actually have a rash vest somewhere that's black and red that was my DS. I offered it during the swap thread but no one needed one! My DS is allergic to sun cream! (Has one prescribed now!) If you'd like it I can hunt it out?

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