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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu, letting dd wear boys swimming trunks...

84 replies

5madthings · 22/02/2014 22:23

So dd is just threeand totally obsessed by dinosaurs, I was sorting out some of the boys old clothes (4 older boys) and putting some away for dd, I found a pair of dinosaur swimming trunks. Dd saw them and immediately wanted to put them on, and loves them. They are fitted shorts style and fit fine will be perfectfor this summer.

Anyway I figure they are fine for beach or swimming, on the beach she will prob wear a t-shirt as well purely because of sun etc but for swimming in a pool the trunks are fine...or so I thought but mentioned it in passing to a friend who thought dd should wear a full costume or atleast a bikini type top... really?!

Last year she had a tankini thing, purely as she was potty training and it was easier, she liked the top so wore it as well but obviousy didnt need to wear it, what with having no boobs!

I think the trunks are fine, she likes them and saves buying new, but then I remebered a thread on here where a toddler girl was told (well her parents were told) she must cover her top half as she is a girl.

I am hoping our pool doesnt have this policy!

So aibu to let dd wear boys trunks or should I buy her a costume?

OP posts:
NigellasDealer · 23/02/2014 07:53

there might not be a hot climate here but there is zero ozone cover.

ReadyToPopAndFresh · 23/02/2014 07:57

Do people burn easily here nigella? We lived in the UK before I had kids so don't know the risks properly, I know I never burned and probably never wore sun cream while I was here but want to make sure the kids are Ok (but all not give them a vit D deficiency) Hmm

ReadyToPopAndFresh · 23/02/2014 07:57

*also not

NigellasDealer · 23/02/2014 08:05

i found my small children burnt here in the UK sometimes even with cloud cover, more so than on Greek beach holidays in fact.(although of course I may have been more vigilant on the beach than at home)
have heard of the vit D deficiency thing too though. those all in one beachsuits for boys and girls look useful.

moldingsunbeams · 23/02/2014 08:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NigellasDealer · 23/02/2014 08:06

20 or so years ago I used to go brown, now I just go red. Just personal anecdote but still.....

everlong · 23/02/2014 08:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ReadyToPopAndFresh · 23/02/2014 08:11

If she looks the same as the boys why should the pool say anything? Very few girls have reached puberty at 10. They're still just children.

everlong · 23/02/2014 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bakingaddict · 23/02/2014 08:22

I think dressing her in her brother's old dinosaur clothes no problem. My DD has bits and bobs handed down from my DS but I wouldn't put trunks on my DD and especially not at the local pool.

BeCool · 23/02/2014 08:24

If anyone at the pool asks re top, tell them with a deadpan straight face that she is a boy Grin

It is all very silly. Of course YANBU. bikini tops on small girls are U

livelablove · 23/02/2014 08:41

It is a weird sort of idea when it comes to younger girls that they need to wear a top, but this is conventional. if they realise she is a girl people might be funny about it so I would go with a tankini style top.

Original poster
5madthings · 23/02/2014 08:45

glad most people think its fine :)

....ignoring comment re wierdo/pedo and small children needing to be covered up.

interestingly i was just thinking that when i was little up till about 8 i just wore shorts or bikini bottoms, we lived abroad, cyprus and sardinia etc and judging by the photos it wasnt an issue.

i do let all 5 go topless in the summer last year and used suncream thosome of the madthings just go brown like me, ds4 is more likely to burn so try to keep a top on him....he would be naked all yr round given the chance.

i shall look out for some sun tops, i saw gap selling some but they were expensive.

i best go as ds4 and dd and i are off to the dinosaur park today. we have had slight trauma that the dino top she wanted to wear is in the wash... but she has settled on a cookie monster top and green jeans.

OP posts:
winterlace · 23/02/2014 08:45

My mum used to do this to me. Not because I badly wanted to wear a boys outfit but it was just because in the 1980s an all over tan was the thing and little was known about sun damage. I will be honest here and say I didn't like it and felt self conscious: even though I knew I didn't have boobs I also knew that I wasn't a boy and knew that area should be covered.

But I also know I'll probably take a metaphorical kicking for that.

everlong · 23/02/2014 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
5madthings · 23/02/2014 08:51

at what age did you know you should be covered?

i was happily topless on the beach til 8 or 9? and remember being annoyed my mum started saying i should cover up, esp as i didnt get boobs til 12? or so.

anyway dd is happy yopless, naked, in fancy dress etc. i shall just follow her lead so long as her clothes are reasonably oractical for what she is doing

OP posts:
HazleNutt · 23/02/2014 08:52

of course YANBU. I don't understand the logic of covering up the upper body of a small girl - just because one day she will develop breasts?

Original poster
5madthings · 23/02/2014 08:54

not your wierd ref everling... the one on p1 rw wierdos getting off on naked small kids...!

once buds start developing etc is i guess when girls need to cover up but only because our society jas deemed nreasts sexual etc
..and women having to cover boobs or not is a whole other debate Grin

OP posts:
Kittymalinky · 23/02/2014 08:55

Um...I grew up at/around the beach. I only wore bottoms till I was about 10! (Obviously with lots of sun screen)

I don't see it as a problem. What's she got to cover up that 3yo boys don't?

winterlace · 23/02/2014 08:55

That's fine 5.

I knew I should be covered since as far back as I can remember. But then I have an older brother and was often dressed in his cast offs and hated it. I naturally veer towards soft pastel colours anyway.

It's really unheard of for me to say this but I don't get why you posted the thread - you seem fixed in your view that it's fine and it is - I wouldn't do it personally, any more than I'd dress a son in a girls bathing suit - but it doesn't mean it is 'wrong.'

If she really wanted to wear it I'd say yes at the beach but not when going swimming at a leisure pool.

Treaclepot · 23/02/2014 08:56

I can't bear to see little girls in bikini tops.

winterlace · 23/02/2014 08:56

I never said I wasn't comfortable to anyone as I knew it would be scoffed at!

I wasn't though. Used to hate those holidays. I still don't like looking at pictures.

ReadyToPopAndFresh · 23/02/2014 08:57

^Mog says " that she is starting to develop less of a child like shape "
I think it's pretty obvious why the pool would ask her to wear appropriate swimwear in this instance let alone her mother.^

Clearly the girl and and her mother and the pool...all think she is dressed appropriately then?

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 23/02/2014 08:58

Little girls in bikinis make me cringe. They're children, not miniaturized adults.

Topless until puberty starts to to get kick in, seems sensible.

Though if I had my way, topless sweaty and men in in summer would be banned.

fortyplus · 23/02/2014 09:00

Most pools allow boys in ladies' changing rooms till age 8 so I can't imagine why they would make a fuss about a girl under that age not wearing a top.