To ask for experiences and hand holding please?

[TerribleMother]

My life this last week has been a bit of a disaster. I have another thread about a shitty family situation, there have been another few minor crap things happen, and today, having gone to my dr about what I thought was a cyst, have been told that on Monday morning (I'm overseas, it's night now, and my dr appt was at 17:00), my dr is phoning through an urgent referral for an immediate appt at the specialist breast clinic because I have a 'large irregular mass' and several enlarged lymph nodes on that side.

Has anyone else had this and it not been cancer. I need something to grasp because I feel like I'm unravelling. My youngest is just turned one. I have four children and no family other than my husband and kids here. I just want it to go away. I'm scared.

Wow LadyRainicorn, that is very encouraging. I'm very happy to hear that your mum is making a fantastic recovery.

I will tell my hcps about my fear of hospitals. It used to work in my favour - I've never stayed for longer than 4-8 hours after having any of my babies. Will need to get used to being there a bit longer now.

Tm i hope to hear them same from you in a few months time!

So sorry to hear this, TM.

It does seem like your medical team is getting weaving, though. March 3 is next week!

I hope you find all the support you need in NSW. It's possible that your hospital can get you together with people.

TM, yes hair went by third cycle of chemo but I have a great wig! Bandanas work too. I was a bit nauseous but the anti-emetics are great - my oncologist says there is no longer any need to feel sick these days.

I'm sorry to hear this OP. I was a chemo carer for my DM and there is certainly no need for nausea. DM had leukaemia, DMIL had breast cancer. Both survived.

It's a journey and a half. You'll meet some amazing people. Big hugs tonight.

So sorry to hear this, OP. Just another voice of support: my mother had exactly this diagnosis last summer - a lump, and cancer that had spread to two lymph nodes. She had a complete mastectomy and the lymph nodes removed, followed by radiotherapy (once they'd analyzed the tissue they removed they found it wasn't a type that would respond to hormone treatments, and her age (73) and other minor conditions made chemo more risky than worthwhile).

It was tough, but she got through it, and is now well on the road to recovery. She found the breast cancer clinic very supportive, and ready to answer any questions, however obvious or trivial they seemed to her - as others have said, knowledge can be reassuring. The Macmillan and Breast Cancer Care sites are straightforward and calm. I wish you every strength and healing thought; you'll get through it.

Another positive story if it helps. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010. She has made a complete recovery after having radiotherapy.

I'm so sorry you've joined the club, so to speak. Your mind will be going a thousand miles an hour right now.

There's an amazing group of us younger women who've had, or have, breast cancer on Facebook. It's for anyone 45 and under. Search for Younger Breast Cancer Network UK and send a PM with a bit about your details, then the admins will add you to the private groups.

Please come and look us up.

Oh TM, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I'm thinking of you and praying for you and your family. You can get through this

Hi TM, how are you doing today? Well done for telling your family, at least they can start planning how best to support you now. I hope your DH is home now. Take care of yourself, and if you're anything like me, make lists of things to do/have done by the time your surgery is due and beyond, so you feel it's under control.

Hi Terrible, I'm in Sydney. If there's anything I can do to help then please PM me. I have two DCs under three and can help with play dates if that would help you.

So very sorry to hear this.

Just wanted to say am thinking of you. My DM was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010, with lymph node involvement. She is currently cancer free on a lovely 6 week holiday in n.z at the moment.

She did not lose her hair during chemo. She had a cold cap? Sorry don't know it's proper name. Her hair was a bit thinner but not noticeable so. She wasn't sick. She was tired, but even carried on working full time except for a chemo day plus a rest day after. There's no telling how you will feel, but I am really wishing you strength.

So sorry to hear your diagnosis. Just want you to know my heart goes out to you, and I will hold you in my thoughts. Hope all goes well for you.
Wishing you & your loved ones strength.

Hi everyone, sorry I retreated into my shell for a few days. Not sure what happened, just suddenly couldn't talk - didn't know what to say.

Had my operation about 19hrs ago now so still on a morphine haze, but just wanted to check in in case I lost all you kind people. Will be back soon. It's 04:50 here, so am going to try a little sleep.

TM I've just read the whole thread and wish you a speedy recovery from the operation.

Also, can I tell you about my mum? She had breast cancer and had a mastectomy when she was 32. This year we are organising a 70th birthday party for her.

Sending you lots of best wishes and hugs.

Have a good sleep and everyone will be here when you're ready. Thinking of you.

Hi everyone. Sorry I've retreated into my shell a bit. Still in hospital, day 5 post surgery and got my pathology results from my surgeon today.

He removed a 25mm Grade 3 Invasive Ductal tumour, surrounded by DCIS(?) in surrounding tissue, and 6/10 positive lymph nodes. Cancer is oestrogen responsive and HER2 positive. I think I almost understand that. Next step is chemotherapy, radiation therapy, herceptin for 12mths, and anti hormone drugs for 10 years. Which must be good, as they think I'll still be here to take them in 10 years.

It's all been a bit sudden and confronting and I've spent a lot of time being sedated for panic attacks but I think the fog is starting to lift a little. I'm still sore and exhausted though but trying everything I can to feel positive.