To ask for experiences and hand holding please?

[TerribleMother]

My life this last week has been a bit of a disaster. I have another thread about a shitty family situation, there have been another few minor crap things happen, and today, having gone to my dr about what I thought was a cyst, have been told that on Monday morning (I'm overseas, it's night now, and my dr appt was at 17:00), my dr is phoning through an urgent referral for an immediate appt at the specialist breast clinic because I have a 'large irregular mass' and several enlarged lymph nodes on that side.

Has anyone else had this and it not been cancer. I need something to grasp because I feel like I'm unravelling. My youngest is just turned one. I have four children and no family other than my husband and kids here. I just want it to go away. I'm scared.

Part of me desperately wants to talk, but the other part doesn't really know what to say.

I've had a needle in my boob. Not as unpleasant as it sounds, and it was nothing.

As others have said, try not to worry about stuff that's beyond your control, although I know that's easier said than done.

What witchway said:

with a baby of a year old could easily be an inflammatory/infective mass with inflamed lymph nodes

You know it could be cancer. But the above scenario is actually much more likely in someone typing who is breast feeding. And it's actually pretty uncommon (not impossible but uncommon) to be able to feel enlarged lymph nodes due to breast cancer - these are usually picked up on scans or at surgery rather than being able to feel them.

I'm a breast cancer surgeon if that helps. Good luck.

Someone young. Not sure typing makes any friend. Sorry!

I would read and re-read the post from yellow dinosaur I remember the overwhelming fear, not wanting to talk in real life. For now just one day at a time or even 5 minutes at a time. Soon u will have answers. Keep talking here if it helps x

The biopsy doesnt really hurt - its mildly uncomfortable. I had one recently and it turned out i had infected lymph nodes and needed no treatment. Good luck - hope you get the same result. (also had a lump which turned out to be a fatty lump so its not always bad news)

Thank you again! Yellowdinosaur's post does indeed make me feel better. Also, thank you too, chocolatemademefat for sharing your experience. I feel slightly less frantic than I did, and am trying to stay as possible as I can.

I have a terrible phobia of hospitals, suffer from a lot of anxiety in general, and have been known to lose the plot spectacularly when getting fairly minor procedures done. I need to find some sort of coping mechanism.

I am truly grateful though for everyone who has taken the time to advise and reassure me, and sorry I haven't mentioned everyone.

Punkatheart, thank you for the hand and the hug, I have really needed it! I hope your lymphoma is being treated and kept under control well - my dad had non hodgekins (sp?) lymphoma, so I know it's certainly no walk in the park

terrible take care of yourself and take one day at a time to stay calm. No point trying to second-guess anything. Take care x

Look after yourself op.

Thanks daisychain and waitmonkey I'm basically drinking wine and desperate for/dreading the phone call from my dr in the morning (btw it's 19:15 here just now so I've not collapsed into complete alcoholism.

I just had a very similar experience. One sided pain and large 'thickening'. It wasn't cancer, just a 'fatty lobule'. It can still be ok... The consultant explained that there were lots and lots of things a lump like that can be that are not cancer. And fwiw, the needle hurt a lot less than even a standard blood test.

Hugs though and stay on for more if you need them.

If a little drop of vino collapso has the effect of relaxing you and making you sleep, then it's definitely purely for medicinal purposes

Get it down your neck, followed by a pint of water, then go to sleep.

Let us know what happens.

I hope you had/are having a good sleep, Terrible.

We are here when you need to talk again.

Yeah, fruit salad for dinner tonight. Well, grapes. Fermented grapes. Actually I'm having wine for dinner. Haha. Stole that from a shit fb meme.

Anyway, I suppose I'm pretty much trying to make sleep happen tonight. Thank you all so much, again. xx

I've had benign breast lumps called fibroadenoma.

I know it's hard, but the only thing to do is take a deep breath, relax, and wait til Monday. I do know several people who have survived breast cancer, which is the worst case scenario.

Hoping it's good news for you, OP.

So the dr has called, and my clinic appt is tomorrow morning (tues) at 08:30. I'm glad it's so quick but it also worries me too. At least I'll know either way fairly quickly.

I'm sorry to hear this TM, please try not to worry, it's best to get it seen to sooner rather than later or you would be sitting and worrying for days even weeks, thinking if you and hope everything goes ok tomorrow x

I know, it's a huge relief to be seen quickly. The set up at the place I'm going to is that you have the ultrasound (mammogram?) then if the consultant thinks you require it, they do further tests (biopsies I think), there and then, and the doctor is sent your results for that in 24-48hrs. The only problem is the $$$$. But I can't complain about that when my health is at stake.

So the best outcome is that they tell me after the ultrasound that it's nothing to worry about!

Now to wish away the next 14 hours, and dread it at the same time.

Watch bad TV. Jolly, silly stuff. Spend time with happy people. Just try not to be alone and thinking too much.

We are all still holding your hand, you know. We won't let go - whatever the outcome.

good luck for tomorrow x

Thank you both. It's 06:15 here, and I've been awake for hours. My appointment is in just over two hours so once I've got all the kids ready I'll be setting off.

Thinking of you TM.

So I have breast cancer. It's in my left breast and two of the lymph nodes on my left side. I can't think straight.